upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

Donald Trump won big on Super Tuesday. There's a reason what you're feeling is familiar.

When tycoon and self-proclaimed "good-looking guy" Donald Trump threw his hairpiece in the race for the White House, so many people never thought we'd reach this point.

"Sticking with my prediction," conservative analyst Bill Kristol tweeted in December 2015. "Trump will win no caucuses or primaries, and will run behind Ron Paul 2012 in IA and NH."

"Trump is generating a lot controversy, but he is not taken seriously as a potential president," a New Hampshire Republican insider told Politico in August. "I have heard from many people who say 'I love him! Love what he’s saying!' But when I ask if they would really vote for him, they say, 'hell no.'"


Yet ... we've watched together in shock as Donald Trump has said the most inexplicable things and continued his unfathomable rise to GOP frontrunner. Now, with his landslide victory on Super Tuesday, we've all been riding the same emotional roller coaster.

Deep down, you probably recognize this pattern of feelings. You don't like it, but you know it all too well.

It's called the five stages of grief:


Photo via iStock.

Don't worry. It's normal to have these feelings.

The saving grace? You're definitely not alone.

And despite how it may seem after Super Tuesday, there's actually a serious, honest-to-goodness light at the end of the tunnel! For real!

Let's do this:

1. First, we were in denial.

Photo by Mark Walheiser/Getty Images.

When Donald Trump descended the gold escalator in a gold building adorned with his own name to declare his candidacy, we thought it was all a big joke.

It had to be a joke, right?

(This has to be a joke.)

Donald Trump couldn't really be running for president.

Donald Trump isn't really leading in the polls. No way. It's just a mirage.


He'll be gone in a month, we told ourselves.

Once they (whoever they are) figure out what a terrible businessman he actually is, he'll go away. After all, we're talking about the guy who sold his brand of steaks (steaks!) exclusively through a retailer best known for free massage chairs at the mall. The guy who could have been worth $10 billion more if he'd just taken the money he inherited and invested it in basic index funds instead of plowing it into failed real estate deal after failed real estate deal. The guy who is, according to some reports, exaggerating his own net worth by a full 100% — in part by valuing his own name at $3 billion.

Once they hear all the horrible things he's said about women, he'll disappear. Like the time he suggested Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly had "blood coming out of her wherever" after the first Republican debate. Or when he said his favorite part of the movie "Pulp Fiction" was when a male character told his girlfriend to shut up.


Once they hear all the horrible things he's said about minorities, we told ourselves, there's no way anyone would vote for him. This is a guy who tweeted a graphic that claimed 81% of white homicide victims were killed by black perpetrators — a totally baseless, pants-on-fire lie.

Once they hear about his fraudulent university — currently being investigated by the state of New York for scamming students — he'll slink away in disgrace.

Everyone within 50 miles of Manhattan knows what a joke this guy is, we told ourselves at night. The rest of the country will wise up soon enough once they get to know him.

We comforted ourselves with the knowledge that Nate Silver didn't think he had a chance, and that Nate Silver almost always get it right.


There is no way anyone could actually vote for Donald Trump in real life. No way in hell. The American people are rational and smart, we repeated to ourselves like a mantra. They won't be fooled. They'll get it.

We went back to sleep.

2. Then, we got angry.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

Donald Trump won New Hampshire, and we were pissed. Royally pissed.

"Donald Trump won New Hampshire?" we asked incredulously. "Like, won won?"

(What the hell?)

Moderate, libertarian New Hampshire just voted for a racist who wants to ban Muslims from entering the United States — as if the First Amendment is just a suggestion? For a con man who wants to build a wall along the border and promises — without a shred of evidence or logic — that Mexico will pay for it? For a preening narcissist who talks relentlessly about how nice his own hands are? (His own hands!)

How could anyone believe this obvious BS? How could anyone vote for him? It's infuriating! Why isn't everybody pissed off about this? We wanted — no, needed — to know.

"Wait, did Uncle Jim vote for him? He did, didn't he? Uncle Jim voted for Donald Trump?! Screw him forever," we said indignantly. "His invitation to the wedding just got lost in the mail!"

Donald Trump isn't qualified to run a Wendy's, we told each other. And yet, despite how many people lost money in his ill-conceived, often sketchy real estate ventures, despite launching a mortgage company in 2006 — just two years before the housing bubble burst — despite four of his businesses filing for bankruptcy, thousands of people actually believe he's a good businessman? Why? Because he fired Meat Loaf and Lil Jon on "Celebrity Apprentice"?

How could America be so blind?

That's it — if he wins again, we're moving to Canada.

3. Next, we started bargaining.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

This was when we realized: Donald Trump wasn't funny anymore.

There had to be a way to stop him.

There ... has to be. Right?

Sure, Trump won South Carolina by 10 points. So what if he won Nevada by even more? That's just three states. Three out of 50. This thing isn't over yet. Can't somebody stop him?

Take him out, conservative billionaires! Ad blitz him into the ground, RNC! Destroy him, John Oliver!

Please? Anyone? We're not actually about to put Donald freaking Trump — former "Miss USA" pageant owner — in charge of our country, right? Right?!

We started to feel pretty desperate. "Just tell us what we need to do!" we said to ourselves. "If we're Republicans, we'll donate to whoever can beat him. If we're Democrats, we'll change our registration! We'll vote for John Kasich. We'll vote for Ted Cruz. We'll vote for a guinea pig!"

Make the cage full of wood chips great again. Photo by Jean/Flickr.

Just let it be a dream, we hoped.

Just make it go away.

4. Then, depression set in.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

"Oh God," we thought.

This is happening, isn't it? It's really happening. Look at his numbers. Look how many states Trump just won on Super Tuesday. It's undeniable now.

"Donald Trump is probably going to be the Republican nominee for president of the United States," we realized, as a giant, gaping pit of despair opened up in our stomachs. "There is now a 50-50 chance that Donald Trump is going to be the most powerful person in the most powerful nation on Earth."

Donald Trump. The man who called Mexicans who come to the U.S. "rapists." The man who refused to denounce the KKK when he had a chance. The KKK!


It is possible — likely, even — that a guy who was too incompetent and racist to successfully manage a beauty pageant could be in charge of hundreds of nuclear weapons less than a year from now.

Who can even stop him?

Hillary can't beat him, we worried. Too many people hate Hillary.

Bernie can't beat him either, we panicked. Sure, Bernie's numbers might look good now, but if he wins, it's going to be: "Socialist socialist raise taxes Stalin communist raise taxes USSR atheist socialist," 24/7.

It's over. It's all over.

Nothing left to do but go back to bed. Forever.

5. And lastly, we had to accept reality.

Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images.

Now, with the dust settling on yet another massive Trump victory on Super Tuesday, only one question remains: Could we be OK with a Trump candidacy? Like, actually OK?

Yeah. Sure. Why not. It's not the end of the world, right?

Donald Trump might be president for the next four years? Fine. We can handle it. We can accept a lot of things. We can accept disappointment. We can accept the inevitability of our own deaths. We can accept Iggy Azalea—

But ... no. You know what?

No.

We don't have to accept this.

Not in a million years.

That's right. Backing this train up. Back to anger. Before anger. Before denial.

Back to hope. Pure, blind, possibly naive hope. If there's one thing Americans do better than anyone else, it's hope, dammit.

Donald Trump is not America. Lots of people may seem to support him — for now, at least. But he's not you. He's not me. He's not even Uncle Jim, no matter what Uncle Jim thinks.

He can't be.

You know why?

America is still a country that doesn't discriminate against anyone because of religion.

Photo by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.

America is still a country that allows everyone to marry the person they love.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

America is still a country that believes in the words on the Statue of Liberty — a country that welcomes immigrants and refugees with open arms.

Photo by Jewel Samad/Getty Images.

America is a country that doesn't have to be made great again. Because it already is great.

Photo by Toru Yamanaka/Getty Images.

It's true. Today, Donald Trump is one step closer to the Oval Office than he was yesterday. There's no denying that.

Photo by Mark Walheiser/Getty Images.

But from now until November, the rational majority of us — Republican, Democrat, Independent — can work our asses off to make sure he never, ever, ever gets there.

Let's go.

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.


The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

Did Julius Caesar have his armpits plucked? Probably.

Modern life may have us shaving, waxing, microblading, laser treating, Botoxing, and altering our natural appearance in all manner of ways in the name of beauty, but the idea of grooming to specific societal standards is nothing new. In cultures all around the world and throughout history, humans have found countless creative ways to make ourselves (ostensibly) look better.

Of course, what looks better is subjective and always has been. Take, for example, the ancient Romans. If you wanted to be seen as a studly man 2,000 years ago in the Roman Empire, you'd remove as much of your body hair as possible. That meant tweezing—or being tweezed by someone else, most likely an enslaved person.


armpit hair, grooming, hair removal, hairless, beauty standard Armpit hair wasn't cook in ancient Rome. Giphy

The Romans, in general, weren't big on body hair for men or women.

"You had to have the look,” Cameron Moffett, English Heritage’s curator at the Wroxeter Roman City museum in Shropshire, U.K., told The Times. “And the look was hairlessness, particularly the underarms.” A collection of 50 tweezers on display at the museum, recovered from the archeological site that was once the Roman city of Viriconium, speaks to Roman tweezing habits, but that's not the only evidence we have.

Stoic philosopher Seneca once wrote in a letter lamenting how the noise from the Roman baths was disrupting his work: "Besides those who just have loud voices, imagine the skinny armpit-hair plucker whose cries are shrill to draw people's attention and never stop except when he's doing his job and making someone else shriek for him."

When we picture the ancient Romans, "skinny armpit-hair plucker" may not be the image that comes to mind, yet here we are.


teeth brushing, toothbrush, oral hygiene, toothpaste, dental hygiene They brushed with what now? Giphy

While we fret over fluoride, the Romans brushed their teeth with pee and mouse brains.

Toothpastes of the past were made with all kinds of things—herbs, spices, salts, crushed bone, and more. For the ancient Romans, that "more" included mouse brains and human urine, according to Decisions in Dentistry. Mouse brains were believed to enhance the effectiveness of toothpaste, and urine, imported in large quantities from Portugal, was utilized for its ammonia content and whitening properties. A standard Roman toothpaste would be a mixture of herbs, mouse brains, urine, and a binder such as honey. Oddly enough, it appeared to be somewhat effective, with archeological findings showing a relatively low number of cavities and tooth decay.

@charissekenion

Sailorr has everyone talking about her sound - and her teeth. Here’s my super short history lesson on the practice of ohaguro #ohaguro #geisha #japanese #japantok #aapi #history #japan #historytok #sailorr #japanesebeauty

Meanwhile, in ancient Japan, women tried to blacken their teeth

Teeth whitening is all the rage in modern times, but in the distant past in parts of Asia, making your teeth black was considered beautiful. The practice known as ohaguro was a traditional Japanese practice that, ironically, was intended to prevent tooth decay.

According to a letter in the British Dental Journal, women in ancient Japan would paint a solution of ferric acetate (from iron filings), vinegar, and tannin from tea or vegetables. It was called kanemizuonto and made the teeth appear black. The practice has made a comeback among some rural areas of Southeast Asia, and the Vietnamese-American singer Sailorr has made waves with her blackened teeth as well.

ear picker, history, artifact, grooming, beauty An ornate ear picker.The Swedish History Museum, Stockholm/Wikimedia Commons

Ear pickers were much prettier than Q-tips. In fact, they were an accessory.

The old saying, "Don't put anything in your ear except your elbow," may not be as old as it seems, as people have been inserting objects into their ears to remove wax for a long time.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, it was common to see beautiful, ornate "ear pickers"—small metal tools with a small scoop at the end for cleaning ears as well as teeth and fingernails. According to Jamestown Rediscovery, it was fashionable to wear gold and silver toiletry tools, such as ear pickers or toothpicks, as accessories. It's hard to imagine wearing Q-tips and toothpicks around. Also, ew. But if you look up "ear pickers," you'll find ornate examples from various parts of the world.

At the very least, it's nice to know that modern humans are not the first ones to go to great—and sometimes interesting—lengths to meet an arbitrary social standard of beauty. (And three cheers for modern toothpaste. Seriously.)

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

A cell phone sticks out of a back pocket. A grumpy baby.

The accidental text. The mistaken email. The butt dial. All of these words, for many, create a modern-day panic about which those in the 1800s didn't have to worry. (Unless one sent a letter by a horse who went rogue.)

This particular mishap was shared on LinkedIn by a man named George Sanders, a self-described branding content manager. He begins his post with the following: "Sorry, I have to share this ABUSIVE and BIZARRE email I received from a colleague last night. NO ONE should be spoken to like this in the workplace. And NO ONE should tell you what to eat or threaten you like this.


'What the hell is this?' Correct. I couldn't understand it at first either."

Near the bottom of the post is a transcribed voice email which reads: "Sit down and eat your dinner, no, eat your pork and eat your vegetables or you'll be in big trouble. Eat it or you'll be in trouble."

George Sanders, LinkedIn, butt dial, funny story A man on LinkedIn shares an unfortunate mishap.Photo Credit: George Sanders, LinkedIn

After some digging, they add the following: "The truth is just utterly enchanting. Turns out my colleague accidentally butt-dialed me on Teams when he and his partner were trying to feed their young child. Gloriously, it took a recording and transcript of the conversation and sent it to me in an email, along with an audio attachment. It wasn't until I listened to the audio I actually realized what had happened.

The fact it captured just that perfectly contained snippet—and how strange it was to receive as a work email—is some delightful serendipity.

Veeeery strong contender for Email of the Year™ right here."

There are well over 100 comments and counting. Many focused on the parenting aspect of it all, with one asking, "In the end, did his son get into big trouble?" Another notes how happy they're not in that "no" phase with their child. "So glad I am past this parenting phase. In related news, I discovered my teenager eating a bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows for breakfast recently—only the marshmallows—so there’s that."

lucky charms, cereal, phases, parenting Man eats a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. Giphy, GIF by 60 Second Docs

Others point out how much they appreciate the lightheartedness of the tech world we live in. "The best part of this post was that you didn’t turn it into a manifesto against technology irreparably changing the world we live in. I was expecting a re-hook saying ‘here’s what butt-dialing revealed about leveraging GenAI…’ and was happy it wasn’t there. Great story!"

And this person was merely pleased by the distraction. "Sometimes an update like this pops into your feed unexpectedly. It's not work. But it reminds us all that human interactions are random, possible, and welcome whenever and however they make their way into our lives. Thank you to all who helped to make this happen for me today. giggles"

Butt dials and accidental texts are a very popular subject on Reddit. Some of them are on pretty old threads, as butt-dialing was easier to do on earlier versions of smartphones. In on thread, someone asks, "Any pocket dialing horror stories?" They're met with nearly 2000 answers, so yes…indeed there are.

butt dial, accidental call, mishap, wrong text, phones A woman picks up to realize it's a butt dial. Giphy, GIF by Offline Granny!

One Redditor creates a strong image: "My husband works with heavy machinery. Every pocket dial sounds like some kind of epic battle between lumberjacks and a Velociraptor/blender hybrid."

Sometimes it happens at the absolute worst times. "I pocket dialed a girl that I was semi-involved with while I was taking a piss. And it was the longest piss of my life. I didn't realize it while I was doing it. She called me later that night and was like, 'Did you really just call me to piss?' It was extremely embarrassing, but we still laugh about it."

My own personal pocket dial story is truly out of a horror film. At around 2:15 a.m., I received a call from my friend Gary. Concerned, I picked up and heard voices screaming, "Give me all your cash," followed by swear words. I called Gary's landline (we all still had them at the time), and he answered, thankfully. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been robbed at gunpoint earlier in the evening—and the ROBBERS must have pocket-dialed me.

Not as sweet as feeding a baby, but nonetheless. Time to put those smartphones on password protected locks...just in case.