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An awesome dad explains the 5 revelations he's had raising 2 girls.

'I didn't want to raise girls … until I did.'

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Recently, someone asked me if I wished I had boys instead of girls.

Of course the answer was an emphatic, "NO." But did I always feel that way? I'd be lying if I said yes.

First, let's rewind a few years back. When my wife showed me the positive pregnancy test for our first baby in 2009, I blurted out, "Awesome! I just hope it's a boy!"

Fail.

I figured that if I had a son, I could teach him how to play basketball, throw a punch, and play in the dirt. With a girl, I'd be stuck playing dress up and other "girly crap."

Epic fail.

After a few weeks of “I want a boy so badly" talk, our world came crashing down. If you've followed my blog, Daddy Doin' Work, you'll remember that our first pregnancy didn't end well, and it was pretty devastating for us. After months of grieving, I realized that the only thing I ever wanted was to be a dad — not just a dad to a little boy. I cursed myself for being so stupid and immature, and I prayed for redemption — which I fortunately achieved. As the story goes, we got pregnant again in 2010, and there was no “I hope it's a boy" nonsense this time. As a matter of fact, tears of joy streamed down my face when the doctor told us we were having a little girl.

Since January 2011, my oldest daughter has introduced me to a brand of love that I never knew existed.

Me with Reiko (my 2-year-old) and Emiko (my 4-year-old). All photos here provided by me.

I truly believe that having two little girls has transformed me into a better, stronger, and smarter man than I would've been without them.

Here are some reasons why:

Revelation #1: Everything I could do with a boy, I can do with my daughters.

I can play basketball, teach them how to throw a punch, and play in the dirt. Yes, I know that's a big fat "duh" for many of you, but I'm a recovering knucklehead with minimal relapses, so please humor me. And yes, I'm going to teach them much more than those three things – but I promise you that I will teach them those three things.

Revelation #2: My daughters will use me as a benchmark for how men should behave.

The best dads I know (and I know plenty of them) view their day job titles as what they do, but their jobs never become who they are. They are dads and husbands first and foremost.

When I worked a full-time job in corporate America, I remember that after a day of sitting on conference calls, attending project meetings, and hitting aggressive deadlines, the only thing I wanted to do was rest when I get home. Then I thought about my daughters. I'll be damned if they looked at me and thought, “Daddy doesn't cook, give us baths, read bedtime stories, or change our diapers. He just sits around while Mommy does everything. Maybe that's how all men should act and that's what I should expect from a future husband."

Please know that I'm not a robot. Oftentimes I feel like grunting myself into unconsciousness after reading "The Cat in the Hat" for the ninth time in a row, or sometimes I'm so tired that I'll mess up a batch of chili so badly that it could fertilize your front lawn. But I do it anyway because I want my baby girls to expect their daddy to be actively involved – always.

Revelation #3: Being "girly" is just a myth.

Nothing better than a daddy-daughter pedicure date.

What does girly even mean, anyway? Would my kid be less girly if she dressed up as Spider-Man for Halloween instead of a princess? (That's exactly what she did, by the way.) Would she be less girly if she wanted to tackle little boys on the football field instead of taking ballet classes? Not to me.

That would be like saying a dude who can bench-press 250 pounds is more manly than a guy who sings songs to his kids before bed. I've learned that being a girl can be whatever the hell a girl wants it to be, and I will never limit my daughters when it comes to that. Additionally, I want to introduce my daughters to other women who are crushing it in male-dominated fields (executive leadership, sports journalism/broadcasting, coding, law enforcement, etc.) so they'll understand that it's possible to do anything their little hearts desire.

Revelation #4: Being loud is a good thing.

And by loud, I mean believing in something so deeply that they'll shout from the rooftops about it without worrying about what haters, naysayers, and other clowns have to say about them.

In a world where women are still fighting for equality, I want my girls to speak up in the living room, classroom, and board room in order to be heard. Forget the foolishness about being viewed as "pushy," "bossy," or "bitchy" for having an opinion or for taking a stance. Closed mouths don't get fed.

Revelation #5: I'm built for raising girls in today's society, or at least I think I am.

We couldn't resist a Disney moment.

Let's be real — girls have to deal with a lot of challenging things today. Pressure to be liked by others, pressure to have sex, body image, mean girls, teen pregnancy, rape ... I'm sure I missed some, but I'm getting depressed listing them out. I can't protect them from all of the ills of society, but I can ensure they'll have the confidence and smarts (both book smarts and street smarts) to thrive in this crazy world we live in.

Just like I'm fighting for dads to get a seat at the table when it comes to parenting issues, I want women to have a seat at the table when it comes to issues that affect them — and not just for my daughters, but for your daughters, too.

Yes, I'm sure I'd be just as happy if I had boys instead of girls. But there's something special about the bond between a dad and his daughters that cannot be explained, and I wouldn't change that bond for anything.

Now if you'll excuse me, the mall has a half-price sale on toddler jeggings.

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Underpaid teachers reveal they taught while hungry after mom cries over undecorated classroom

"My 1st year I made 27K and my room was empty."

Photo credit: Canva

Teachers reveal they taught hungry after mom cries over empty classroom

It's August, which means a lot of kids have either started school already or are heading back. The back-to-school month also means an influx of parents voicing their grievances on the internet. Everything from not wanting their children to share school supplies to the teacher's wish list items. What is typically an exciting time for children can be a stressful time for parents and teachers for different reasons.

One disappointed mom took to the internet in tears due to the lack of classroom decor in her child's classroom for "meet the teacher." It could be that this is the mom's first time sending a little one off to school, as to the reason she didn't know that there would likely be more decorating happening before the first day of school. Either way, her tearful reaction to the lack of decorations caused a few teachers to reveal the reality they face.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Overwhelmed with emotion.Photo credit: Canva

Most teachers, especially those of little ones, want to have their classrooms decked out in all the colorful, age-appropriate decor, but in reality, that costs money. Often, money neither teachers nor the school districts have. This is why public school teachers have wish lists that they pass out before the first day of school; some even create Amazon lists so people outside of their district can help. It's a pretty common understanding that teachers don't make a lot of money, but for some parents, just how little teachers make may be overlooked.

A teacher who goes by Mrs. Frazzled on social media recently reacted to the post of the crying mom. In this case, the teacher lived up to her social media moniker because what followed was more PG-13 than her usual content. Someone who goes by the name Kubi responded to Mrs. Frazzled's rant with an eye-opening reality, "My first year as a teacher I made 27K and my room was empty because I could[n't] afford to buy things for it. and I didn't even get my first check until 30 days in so I taught HUNGRY the first month."

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.Photo credit: Canva

The confession prompted Mrs. Frazzled to commiserate with her own, revealing, "I also taught hungry my first year of teaching. That's part of why this whole thing made me so freaking mad. I'll tell you my story as a first-year teacher because it is not a unique story by any means, clearly."

She goes on to share that student teaching isn't paid and comes at the end of teaching certification, which requires soon-to-be-teachers to teach during the day for free, then attend classes at night. This essentially means there's no feasible way for student teachers to make enough money to cover living expenses unless they forego their sleep. Mrs. Frazzled says that in the spring of her student teaching, she had a major life event that resulted in her looking for a new place to live on virtually no income.

@mrs.frazzled Replying to @Kubi ♬ original sound - frazz

"On the heels of this happening, I'm starting my first year as a teacher. And you do not get paid for the first month that you teach, so nine months, no work. Summer, very minimal work. Then you start school, and you need to have a fully furnished and ready classroom, because if you've seen a government-sponsored classroom, you know it is very barren in there."

The woman reveals that she couldn't afford to live in the area where she taught, so her commute was anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. She also confesses that the only reason she had anything in her classroom was because "parents kinda carried me on my back financially." They purchased the things she needed, including a big, colorful rug that can run well over $500.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

"My first month of teaching, I was so stinking poor. I had a mattress on the floor, no refrigerator. I had a couch that I dumpster dove for, and I was driving Postmates after school so that I could get like $12 to buy dinner or whatever. I remember crying because I needed Q-Tips and I couldn't afford Q-Tips. I had to go Postmates for hours to make enough to buy Q-Tips. This is the reality of teaching in the United States," Mrs. Frazzled shares.

It's a reality check that some parents may not be ready to hear when their expectations fall short of the reality teachers are living. Feeling disappointed when something doesn't meet your expectations is understandable, but when it comes to classroom decor and supplies, it takes a village.

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Communications expert shares the 7-word phrase to shoot down anyone being disrespectful

Try this method next time someone says something rude.

via Canva/Photos

A woman can't believe what she just heard.

Getting caught off guard by a rude comment from a coworker, family member, or total stranger can throw you for a loop. You immediately start wondering how you should respond. Should I insult the person right back or play it cool without stooping to their level? Everyone is going to be thrown by a disrespectful comment at some point, so it’s good to have a response in your back pocket for that moment when it comes.

Communications expert Jefferson Fisher provided a great response that we can all use recently on the Mel Robbins Podcast. Fisher is a Texas board-certified personal injury attorney and one of the most respected voices on argumentation and communication in the world. He is also the bestselling author of The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More.

@melrobbins

If you've ever wondered if there's a correct way to respond to disrespect, try out this method from lawyer and communication expert, @Jefferson Fisher. Check out this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, for more communication tips from Jefferson! 🎧 “How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power.” #melrobbins #melrobbinspodcast #communicationtips #dealingwithdisrespect

How to respond to a rude or disrespectful comment

Fisher told Robbins that the first step in responding to the comment is nonverbal. You say nothing. “A lot of silence. So often, if you just wait 10 seconds that you're gonna add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond,” Fisher said. “They're saying this to get something out of you, cause in that moment, they're feeling something, whether it's a fear or an insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are.”

The next step is to let the rude person know that their behavior will not be tolerated in a confident manner.

“So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward, and then you're going to say something to the effect of, ‘That's below my standard for a response.’ All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.”

disrespect, rude communications, social skills, silence, how to respond, bad comment A woman covering her mouth.via Canva/Photos

Throw it back on them

If you prefer to put someone back on their heels instead of squelching the situation as Fisher recommends, John Bowe, a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of DisconnectionI Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of Disconnection, says that you should respond with a question: “Do you really mean that?”

“Say it with outrage or dripping sarcasm, with raised eyebrows or deadpan calm. It doesn’t matter. This phrase is quietly disarming and deceptively powerful,” Bowe writes for CNBC. Bowe says the response does two great things for you. First, it gives them a chance to reconsider their words because most rude comments are said without thinking. “By responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you’re holding up a mirror. Often, that’s all it takes for the other person to walk back their offense,” he writes.


After the person is asked if they meant what they said, they can double down on their rude comment, but they are probably more likely to backpedal or apologize.

Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that, unless you live under a rock, you’ll have to deal with people making rude comments. But the best thing you can do is to prepare yourself to confidently put someone in their place so they’ll think twice about ever being rude to you again.

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Woman gives stray cat the most Gen X name ever, and her friend can't stand it

As if?

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A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”


When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.


The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.


It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

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'Anchors aweigh' vs. 'anchor's away' and 9 other idioms most of us get completely wrong

Wait, it's "toe the line," not "tow the line"?

Photo credit: Canva

So many idioms are different than people think.

Before diving into this article, please be warned that it might rock your world in an "everything I thought I knew was a lie" kind of way. Being humbled by the dictionary can be a little disconcerting, especially when you're someone who was sure they had a solid grasp of the English language...but it's okay. We'll get through this together.

In fact, let me preemptively ease any blow to your ego. I'm both a former English teacher and a professional writer. I know my way around grammar and spelling and figures of speech. If anyone should know idioms, it's me, but alas, I recently discovered that some common phrases aren't what I thought they were. So if you find yourself in the same boat as we go through this list, you're in good company.

It all started one day when Merriam-Webster woke up and chose violence on X, blowing people's minds by casually correcting several idioms most of us get wrong. Rude? Yes. Informative? Also yes.

But there are even more where those came from. Here are 10 idioms most of us get wrong along with their correct versions and how they came to be in the first place:

"Anchor's away!" is actually "Anchors aweigh."

For my entire life on this planet, I have 100% assumed it was the former. Makes sense, right? You take the anchor away and the boat can move. But nope, the correct term, "aweigh," comes from the nautical term "weighing anchor," which means taking up the anchor so a ship can launch. Those of us who aren't sailors may not be aware that "weigh" even has that definition, but it does: "to heave up (an anchor) preparatory to sailing."

anchor, anchor's away, anchors aweigh, nautical terms, idioms Anchors aweigh! Photo credit: Canva

"Another thing coming" is actually "another think coming."

"If he thinks he's going to be able to swindle me like that, he's got another thing coming." Technically, no he doesn't. He's got another think coming. However, Merriam-Webster gives us a mulligan on this one, despite "think" coming first from our British friends. So many Americans have started saying "thing," the dictionary gods now accept both as okay.

"Bury the lead" is actually "bury the lede."

If you take a while to get to the important point of a story, you might be accused of burying the lede. The word "lead" may seem to make perfect sense here, because it's the lead part of the story that you're burying. But "lede" is the word for an introductory paragraph in an article. What makes this one extra confusing, however, is that "lede" is actually a deliberate misspelling of "lead," to differentiate the lead paragraph from the "lead" strip of metal that used to separate lines of type. So lede still means lead, but it's spelled lede. Just go with it.

case in point, case and point, idioms, big bang theory, English Case in point, not case and point. Giphy

"Case and point" is actually "case in point."

It's understandable that someone might think this one is "case and point," like you've made your case and your point at the same time with a perfect example. But it's really "case in point." The phrase "in point" comes from Old English and means "pertinent" or "appropriate." So by citing a pertinent example, you are providing a case that is relevant.

"Eek out" is actually "eke out."

This one hurts me personally. I desperately want it to be "eek," like I imagine air "eeking" out of a balloon when you pull the opening tightly—slowly and with great effort. But nope. Eke it is, meaning "to get with great difficulty." Fine, whatever.

horse, reins, horseback riding, free rein, idioms I've been through the desert on a horse with free rein.Photo credit: Canva

"Free reign" is actually "free rein."

If you've always imagined this phrase as referring to a powerful reigning ruler who does whatever they want, you're not alone. You're also not correct. "Free rein" goes way back to the days of ubiquitous horsemanship and refers to letting the reins go so the horse can go where it pleases.

"Phased/Unphased" is actually "fazed/unfazed."

I find this one to be kind of fun, actually. We don't have enough words that use "z" in them, and this homonym feels like you're breaking two different spelling rules at the same time, even though you're not. "Despite discovering she'd spelling idioms wrong all her life, she was unfazed by this article." See? So fun.

shoo, shoo-in, shoe-in, idioms, English Buzz Off Get Away GIF Giphy

"Shoe-in" is actually "shoo-in."

Honestly, some of these idioms are ones we may have never seen written and just assumed they were spelled a certain way. "He was a shoo-in for the position." Not a shoe-in. Shoo-in also has some horsey origins, referring originally to cheating in a horse race. Now it just means to be certain of success.

"Slight of hand" is actually "sleight of hand."

Yeah, this is another one that gets people. It feels right to write "slight," as in the slight movements of the hand that enable someone to trick us. But no, it's "sleight" (still pronounced the same), which means "deceitful craftiness" or "dexterity/skill." Makes sense.

toe the line, race, running, starting line, idioms "Toe the line" literally means put your toe on the line.Photo credit: Canva

"Tow the line" is actually "Toe the line."

This one admittedly got me. I always picture people towing a boat by a rope, all lined up and working in unison toward the same goal. But that's not it at all. It's "toe the line," meaning to line up with your toes along the line at the start of a race.

There, don't we all feel a little smarter now? What's better is there's even a term for these incorrect terms: eggcorn. An eggcorn is "a word or phrase that results from a mishearing or misinterpretation of another." Apparently, a woman heard "acorn" and spelled it "eggcorn," and a whole new term was born. Isn't language fun?

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Who is the 'patron saint' of Gen X? The debate is illuminating and downright hilarious.

You can't ask a Gen X-er a question like this and expect a serious answer.

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Winona Ryder smokes a cigarette

Every generation has its ultimate hero. Or does it? Perhaps for the Silent Generation, it's Jimmy Stewart. The Boomers? Clint Eastwood. Or any of the Easy Rider gang, like, say, Jack Nicholson. But in a recent post on Threads, someone posed the divisive question to Gen X-ers and many of them weren't having it.

The statement/question read: "If Hannah from Girls is the patron saint of millennials (which she is, don't argue), who does Gen X have? Is it Kurt Cobain?"

Lena Dunham, Girls, HBO, millennial Lena Dunham as Hannah GIF by Girls Giphy HBO

For anyone confused by this question, Hannah from Girls is a character created and portrayed by Lena Dunham, who is having a comeback moment with her new show Too Much.

There are nearly 700 responses in less than a week. But before we get into the X-ers’ candid thoughts, a few millennials were outraged by the "saint" applied to them. One writes in typical millennial fashion, "Life is hard enough. Please don't do this to us millennials. We've survived too much for that." Another: "Hannah from Girls? What in the Veronica Mars are you on about?" Another wisely pushes back: "Surely the patron saint of millennials is Taylor Swift?"

Now let's move on to those who attempt to answer the question. "I'm too old to know what this means, but the answer is Janeane Garofalo."

janeane garofalo, reality bites, gen x, generation x, humor A scene from the film Reality Bites. Giphy Universal Pictures

Many merely posted photos or memes of their response, including Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Madonna, and of course, the MTV cartoon Daria.

But the thing that stands out most about my beloved X generation is that most of us are simply not going to take this question seriously. Here are a few: "I claim McGruff the Crime Dog as my patron saint. Let's take a bite out of crime."

Another dives into the Spielberg catalogue: "Now that I think about it: the patron saint of Gen X is…Elliott from ET. Not the actor, but the character. If you're peak Gen X, then you were a little kid when that movie was released and Elliott was f-ing GOD." (A hilarious response to that was: "I'm Gen X and do not care for that movie. If you swap Elliott with Carol Anne from Poltergeist, now we're talking.")

poltergeist, gen x, generation x, spielberg, movies Carol Anne gets in touch with ghosts in the movie Poltergeist. Giphy Tobe Hooper GIF

One person got very serious: "Gen X has no patron saint. We had no one but ourselves and our friends who also had nobody, and that's why we are the way we are. Stop trying to fit us into your worldview and leave us alone like our parents did. We're fine being invisible."

That got real fast, and it was also quite the popular answer. One Threader responded, "One half of my brain fully supports this answer. The other half is doing 8,876 other things so it can't fully get on board with anything."

Another adds, in part: "If I were a millennial, I'd be infuriated by this post. Anyway, Gen X doesn't have a patron saint. We were all into different things, depending on who we were. Some preferred Trent Reznor. Some preferred Kurt Cobain. Some preferred Robert Smith. Gen X wasn't a monolith, and many of us hated the things others loved while others loved the things we hated."

Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, Gen X, Generation X, musician Kurt Cobain, the patron saint of Gen X. Giphy

And lastly (finally), the correct answer is shared: "Whatever, never mind." So very Gen X.


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