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Woman fights to give her baby a name that her husband says is 'abusive'

Some traditions just don't feel right in 2024.

pregnancy, baby names aita

A family fights over a baby name.

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid. Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without.

According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.

A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord and had her family's full, passionate support, but her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. The woman was looking for validation and posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.

“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important. The firstborn son since the 1800's has been given this name. I'm well aware it's a stigmatized name today, so that's why I have agreed to using a short form,” the woman wrote.

Understanding that her son would be bullied for being called Gaylord, she decided that it would be his legal first name, but could go by Gail. Her family believed that it was acceptable for him to be known as Gail initially, but as society grows more tolerant, will be called Gaylord when he gets older.

“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she continued. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”

The father wouldn’t even consider naming his son Gaylord, or Gail, for that matter. His family went a step further and said that naming him Gaylord or Gail would be “abusive.”

"My in-laws are telling me that even Gail isn't an acceptable boy's name and that I need to 'get with the times' and choose something more appropriate," she continued. “What happened to respecting our elders and traditions? His family doesn't have any naming traditions, so it should fall to my family that does. How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?”

The commenters were overwhelmingly against the mother’s decision.

"Use your imagination. A boy named Gaylord goes to his first day of school. The teacher does the roll call. ‘GAYLORD SMITH?’ Class breaks into giggles. Embarrassed boy says, ‘It's Gail.’ Class giggles some more, since Gail is usually a girl's name. Boy has no chance of fitting in with his classmates. His fate is sealed. He is a social pariah for life. Don't do this to him. Please,” one user wrote.

"Your name is the first thing people know about you. It’s the cover page of how people perceive you. Even if you think Gaylord will just appear on the birth certificate, you’re wrong. His legal name will have to be used on official documents, at school, on his license and passport. It will appear at the top of every resume he hands out. It’s not as simple as putting a name on paper. It’s how he is going to appear to the whole world. Gaylord is totally stigmatized and has been for decades. It’s not going away, sorry." Elinbeth added.

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time. Pick another name," CashieBashie wrote.

After the post went viral, the mother shared that both sides of the family have tentatively agreed on a name.

“We managed to work out that Gale Gaylord would be a reasonable compromise, with Gale being the complete first name, and Gaylord being the middle name,” the woman wrote. “My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants. Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here.”


This article originally appeared last year.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

Mental Health

Neuroscientist explains why it's impossible to 'live in the present' and what to do instead

"We spend three quarters of our day time traveling between past, present and future."

Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A person meditates at the beach.

"Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream; for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in its place, and this will be carried away too.” – Marcus Aurelius

How many times have philosophers and meditation experts suggested we "live in the now"? Countless bestselling books have been written on the topic and it's no doubt a helpful tool in reducing anxiety, depression, and other mental health barriers that many of us struggle with. In other words, it's a perfectly lovely idea—and an important one.

But, according to one neuroscientist, it's actually impossible. In fact, she suggests that we need to reframe how we think about time—and our space in it—in order to truly thrive.

On an episode of The Mindbodygreen podcast, Caroline Leaf, Ph.D., BSc, suggests that we give ourselves a break about "living in the present." She says to instead think about how time has a linear story. Everything in your past (and that's everything at the time you're reading this) will inform everything that is to come. So living "in the now", while a nice idea. is a fool's errand. The idea gives the illusion that if one can't do that, there's something wrong.

She says, "You have a narrative, you have a story, you are responding in this moment because of everything else about you. We spend between one-half and three-quarters of our day in our minds time-traveling between the past, present, and future." This is absolutely not to say we shouldn't strive for present-living. Just that we should be aware that there's always past experiences and future uncertainty that informs every waking moment.

Olivia Giacomo further explains this idea, writing in a podcast companion piece on Mindbodygreen.com to "think of your non-conscious mind as an endless forest, rich with thoughts and memories. Those memories are never rooted in the present: Once they occur, they're immediately existing in the past. Then once a memory has been consolidated, it has the power to affect your future by informing you of what has and could happen."

Many have tackled this idea and some disagree. In a piece for the BBC, clinical psychologist and professor at University College of London, Dr. Joseph Oliver, gives his thoughts on the matter. He discusses mindfulness and living "in the present," and while he notes that there is a distinction (mindfulness is more about taking note of one's thoughts), he does believe through meditation and practice one can learn to live in the now.

Regardless of how technical one wants to get about the possibility of "nowness," Leaf offers ways to reframe the idea of thoughts and feelings about the past and future taking up space in the mind and ultimately rewiring the brain. Jason Wachob gives a "step-by-step" using Leaf's methods:

"GATHER" information.

This is the time to dig deep into what you're really thinking. Leaf suggests breathwork and meditation. The question is: WHAT do I think? WHAT do I feel?

"REFLECT" on your thoughts.

Now we move into the "why" of it. Once you're relatively aware of what your thoughts and the emotions that follow them are, you can start reverse-engineering where it came from. Look for patterns in your triggers.

JOURNAL your feelings.

It's important to note that actually writing with your hand and not a computer is best. Leaf shares, "There's so much science behind writing," she says. "When you write, you activate certain parts of the brain in a beautiful way."

RE-FRAME:

"Take the sting out of the emotions," Leaf urges. Try to look at it from an aerial view, perhaps by asking yourself: Would this be bothersome if it happened to a friend…or is it just me who it overwhelms?

TAKE ACTION:

Defined as "active reach," this simply means thinking about ways (big or small) that you can take action when your mind starts to negatively wander. For me personally, when an anxious thought pops in, I literally say out loud (when I can), "That thought does not serve me." It's amazing how much it can help.

Again, Leaf isn't the first or only person to suggest these methods. It's similar in some ways to the concept of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which guides people to examine their thoughts, look at the feelings that are a result of those thoughts, look at patterns, and then try new approaches.

Redditors also had some questions on "in the now" as well. On the subreddit r/Meditation, someone asks, "Why is being present so important?" They ask a number of follow-up questions: "What does 'being present' mean in the context of awareness, consciousness, state of mind/being, etc.? Why is the human mind seemingly 'built' or easily resists being in the present moment? If being present is such a better way to exist, then why do we have a limited sense of perceiving time? I'll admit, I'm probably missing something really basic and simple here, but every time I see statements or quotes about 'being present' I sort of get confused because I feel like I'm present all the time whether I'm aware of it or not. So I ask, what does being present mean to you?"

There are many interesting comments, but perhaps the most profound is this:

"It's not so much being in the present. In Buddhism, there's the expression 'the 4th moment.' The 4th moment is 'nowness' — not past, present, or future. If you meditate and do something like watching your breath, you'll find that it's very difficult to pay attention for even a few seconds without spacing out. We cycle through emotional conflict, fantasy, bright ideas, and so on. We imagine that we're conscious beings who think by choice, but it turns out that we're almost entirely unconscious. So meditation cultivates attention — being where you are.
Why is that important? Aside from the most obvious point that we may not want to pass our lives in a vague reverie, there's also the fact that we actually don't enjoy discursive looping and conflicting emotions. They're a generator of anxiety."



Remember things being built to last?

Unfortunately, most Americans are well aware of shrinkflation, where food companies reduce the sizes of their products while the price remains the same at the grocery store. You see this in fast food restaurants when you pick up a burger and feel like your hand has grown a few inches, and at the supermarket when you buy a box of cookies, it weighs less than it did a few weeks ago. Companies use this strategy when they think you’ll be less likely to notice a dip in quantity than a hike in the price.

We see something similar in the world of retail, particularly fast fashion. Fast fashion offers cheaper garments made from low-quality materials that last about as long as the trend does, so people can throw them away and buy the next hot thing. This can be a real problem because fast fashion harms the environment and leads to exploitative labor practices. And the tough part is—even for the most conscious of consumer, it's hard to escape from.

Here's a prime example of what this looks like in the real world. A few months ago, a TikTokker named Tom (@SideMoneyTom), popular for making videos about consumer products, went viral for a video where he called out shoe manufacturers for dropping their quality while keeping prices high. “So many of you guys want to shoot the messenger, but look, it's not my fault shoes are made out of Styrofoam and oil now,” Tom says in a TikTok with over 528,000 views. “It's literally every shoe you look at now. It's not even just the cheap ones. I can find hundred dollar plus pairs of shoes all day long with glue squeezing out of their Styrofoam cracks.”

@sidemoneytom

Replying to @Oscar Magaña shoes are done #fyp #shoes #foryou

Tom notes that recently, shoes have been made with foam soles instead of rubber. Both have pros and cons. Foam is a little more comfortable, but rubber lasts a lot longer. Rubber shoes keep shape and support over time and are much more durable. Conversely, foam shoes compress over time, losing their support and comfort. When companies sell cheaper shoes that wear out more quickly, they make much more money because you must keep replacing them.

In the video, Tom adds that many companies that used to have shoes made with rubber heels, such as Carhartt and Timberland, have switched to foam. This is an interesting choice for brands that pride themselves on selling durable products.

Cora Harrington, a writer and lingerie expert, says that companies aren't entirely to blame. Americans don’t want to pay higher prices. “People don’t exactly want to pay more for all that stuff,” Harrington told Vox. "So what has to happen if everything is more expensive and the customers still want to pay the same price, something has to be cut and that’s often going to be the quality of the garment.”

“There is an entire generation of consumers at this point that doesn’t actually know what high-quality clothing feels like and looks like,” Harrington continues. “It gets easier, I think, for consumers to just not know any better.”

@sidemoneytom

Replying to @donkles #shoes #fyp #sketchers #nike

Many commenters have noticed the decline in shoe quality and praised Tom for pointing it out. "I am so happy I’m not the only one who is baffled by shoes being made of styrofoam and then being upcharged for them," one commenter wrote. "When shoes started being named some version of 'Air Light Cloud float,' my thought was it was because they went from quality rubber to cheap foam and less materials,” another commenter added.

Tom believes the decline in shoe quality is an example of a more significant trend affecting American consumers' products: quality is decreasing while prices remain the same. “The quality of everything is going to hell, and the prices are going up," Tom concludes his video. "The problem is, so many of us have just become used to it that we keep buying it, and we basically allow them to dumb down the quality of everything. Everything in our lives. These shoes are just the tip of the iceberg. Start thinking about it in your life. What are you gonna allow to be garbage quality?"

This article originally appeared in March. It has been updated.

Images courtesy of Instagram/@imscottdonnell (used with permission)

Parenting coach and father of four Scott Donnell explains why his kids order for the family while eating at restaurants.

Going out to eat as a family at a restaurant is a special time together. As you sit around the table, you get to spend quality time together and indulge in delicious meals. For Scott Donnell, a parenting coach and dad of four, he also uses the opportunity to help his kids build useful life skills.

He shared his parenting philosophy with fellow parents. "We have a family rule that when we go to a restaurant, one of the kids has to order for the whole table," he explained. "This is about public speaking, this is about communication. It's about memory."

Donnell tells Upworthy that challenging his kids to do this has taught them even more. "When kids order for the whole table, they take responsibility and learn assertiveness," he says. "They learn strong communication, presentation skills and initiative. And it’s fun!"

He continues to explain how having one of his kids order the family's meals at restaurants builds them up. "We tell [our daughter Reagan] what we want on the menu. We tell her the different things not to put on the food or in the food, what size to order. She is in charge of telling the waiter or waitress," he shares.

He adds that each kid [in this case, Reagan], must know the waiter or waitress's name, and address them by it while looking them in the eye. "She goes, 'Hello Bob, my name is Reagan. And I'd like to order this. My sister would like to order this. My brother would like to order this. My other brother would like to order this. My Dad would like to have this, and my Mother would like to have this.'"

Donnell notes that this also teaches his kids to be respectful of the waiter or waitress, and also bonds the family. "Get them engaged. Get them talking. Build relationships. Dinner is where your kids become friends," he says.

Many parents love Donnell's parenting strategy. "What a great idea❤️❤️❤️❤️," one commented.

Another added, "This is awesome. My four year granddaughter has been doing this for [us] for over a year. She has dairy allergies and knows how to navigate that for herself and how to be respectful and kind if the restaurant makes a mistake. Kids are amazing. Way to show your children that they are a responsible and caring part of your family. Little opportunities to learn can be a game changer! 👏👏👏👏"

One grandparent shared, "Yes yes yes!!! I always did this with my son and are encouraging our grandchildren to do the same!"

How to make the most out of family meals at restaurants

Donnell also adds that while spending time at the table when eating out with your family, it's important for kids to be tech-free.

"Going out to eat can sometimes be stressful for parents with younger kids," Donnell tells Upworthy. "Instead of handing them an phone or iPad to pacify them, use it as a learning experience. Train them in how they should behave in public, how they represent your family values, and ask great questions. Make meals more interesting than tech."

For parents looking to encourage their kids to try ordering at the table, he recommends also doing the 'special plate' strategy once orders have been placed and meals are served.

"Another great tip is the 'special plate' strategy," says Donnell. "The child who orders gets the special plate everyone gets to say one thing they love about them. Rotate each dinner, including parents."

These obscure words will make you sound smart during conversations.

The pursuit of expanding one's vocabulary has made games like Wordle more popular than ever. And while there are an estimated one million words in the English language, the average American only has about 42,000 words in their vocabulary.

With that in mind, most Americans have plenty of work to do to learn some more interesting words. Having the background knowledge to properly use them is like icing on the cake to sounding smart. Peppering your conversations with obscure words is a fun way to enhance conversations, too.

Drop these 16 obscure words during your next chat:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Cacography

Cacography means "bad spelling or handwriting."

Indubitably

Indubitably means "too evident to be doubted; unquestionable."

According to Merriam Webster, indubitably has Latin roots that "arrived in Middle English in the 15th century from Latin indubitabilis, itself a combination of 'in-' ('not') and 'dubitabilis' ('open to doubt or question'). 'Dubitabilis' is from the verb dubitare, meaning 'to doubt,' which also gave us our 'doubt.'"

Abate

Abate means "to decrease in force or intensity."

Reciprocity

Reciprocity means "the quality or state of being reciprocal; mutual dependence, action, or influence."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Ameliorate

Ameliorate means "to make better or more tolerable; to grow better."

According to Merriam Webster, ameliorate "traces back to melior, a Latin adjective meaning 'better,' and is a rather formal synonym of the verbs better and improve."

Incongruous

Incongruous means "lacking congruity; not harmonious; incompatible; not conforming; disagreeing; inconsistent within itself; lacking propriety."

Mellifluous

Mellifluous means "having a smooth rich flow; filled with something (such as honey) that sweetens."

According to Merriam Webster, mellifluous "comes from two Latin roots: the noun mel, meaning 'honey,' and the verb fluere, meaning 'to flow.' These linguistic components flowed smoothly together into the Late Latin word mellifluus, then continued on into the Middle English word mellyfluous, before crystallizing into the adjective we employ today."

Apoplectic

Apoplectic means "of a kind to cause or apparently cause stroke; extremely enraged."

Sanguine

Sanguine means "marked by eager hopefulness; confidently optimistic."

According to Merriam Webster, "Sanguine traces back to the Latin noun sanguis, meaning 'blood,' and over the centuries the word has had meanings ranging from 'bloodthirsty' to 'bloodred,' among other things in that (ahem) vein, so how did it also come to mean 'hopeful'? During the Middle Ages, health and temperament were believed to be governed by the balance of different liquids, or humors, in one’s body: phlegm, black bile, yellow bile, and blood. Those lucky people who were governed by blood were strong, confident, and even had a healthy reddish glow (all that blood, you know)—they were, in a word, sanguine."

@etoilemarley

12th May - word-grubber: someone who uses obscure words in everyday language ✍️❤️ the cabinet of linguistic curiosities 📘 #wordoftheday #wordlovers #etoilemarley #lostwords #logophiles

Terse

Terse means "using few words; devoid of superfluity; short, brusque."

Ephemeral

Ephemeral means " lasting a very short time."

Compunction

Compunction means "anxiety arising from awareness of guilt; distress of mind over an anticipated action or result; a twinge of misgiving; scruple."

According to Merriam Webster, "An old proverb says 'a guilty conscience needs no accuser,' and it's true that the sting of a guilty conscience—or a conscience that is provoked by the contemplation of doing something wrong—can prick very hard indeed. The sudden guilty 'prickings' of compunction are reflected in the word's etymological history. Compunction comes (via Anglo-French compunction and Middle English compunccioun) from Latin compungere, which means 'to prick hard' or 'to sting.'"

Paroxysm

Paroxysm means "a fit, attack, or sudden increase or recurrence of symptoms (as of a disease); convulsion; a sudden violent emotion or action; outburst."

Loquacious

Loquacious means "full of excessive talk; wordy."

Copacetic

Copacetic means "very satisfactory."

Renascent

Renascent means "rising again into being or vigor."