Wilson Cruz played a gay teen getting kicked out of his house on TV. It helped his real-life family.
A new, powerful documentary, "Playing Gay," hopes to shed light on how gay television characters helped Americans come to embrace marriage equality for all.
Wilson Cruz was kicked out of his parents' house when he told them he was gay.
At the age of 18, a year earlier, he got the audition that would change his life.
At the end of that audition, for the critically acclaimed series "My So Called Life," Wilson paused at the door.
Assuming he would never see the casting crew again, he teared up and told them how important it would have been for him as a gay teenager to see a gay teenage character on his TV screen.
He got the part. A year later he came out to his parents at Christmas. They kicked him out.
And he spent four months being homeless and couch surfing with friends, until he earned enough to get his own place.
One year later, around Christmas, the episode in which his character gets kicked out by his parents was aired.
When his dad watched the episode about his character being kicked out by his parents, it helped them reconcile.
"My mother and brother were working on him at home too," said Wilson when I spoke with him, "but I think the episode was the clincher."
Wilson went on to become an outspoken activist, championing the rights of gay teens of color.
Television is more than just entertainment — it's more powerful than we think. It has the power to change us
As more LGBTQ characters started to appear on television, people's attitudes about gay people also adapted. People in their homes, seeing relatable characters on TV, started to understand that gay people were just people, like anyone else.
TV didn't always do great things for gay people.
Back in the golden age of television in the '50s and '60s, gay characters were somewhat of an anomaly. They usually appeared as murderers and crazy people.
In 1959, actress Sheila Kuehl played teenage genius Zelda Gilroy on "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis." She became so popular that they decided to give her a TV pilot. But when the president of CBS saw the pilot, he was not amused.
Things stayed that way for a while for most gay characters.
In the '70s, things started to change. And it was one TV episode in particular that was instrumental in changing how gay characters were played.
"All In the Family" was the first to truly break stereotypes.
In its fifth episode, grumpy, racist, homophobic patriarch Archie Bunker teases his son-in-law's friend because he's effeminate. But Archie has his mind broadened when his son-in-law reveals that it's actually Archie's friend, Steve, an ex-football player, who's gay. And his effeminate friend is the one who's straight. Over a manly beer-drinking and arm-wrestling challenge, he tells Steve what his son-in-law said, thinking he'll laugh. And then this happened.
Archie learns that gay people aren't walking stereotypes. GIF from "All in the Family."
That episode was so powerful that in real life, President Nixon had a weirdly panicked homophobic conversation about it in the White House that he actually recorded.
Ellen DeGeneres came out on national television in front of 42 million people in 1997, and the conversation changed again.
GIF from "Ellen."
And as she came out, people across the country started to become more accepting of gay people.
There are more stories just like that, all over television.
And throughout the last decade, as more people got to know gay characters on TV, more people supported gay marriage.
Image via GLAAD.
So what makes TV so much more powerful than other mediums to change people's minds?
When you watch a TV show, you get to see characters develop over weeks and months.
You relate and connect to them in a way that a single two-hour movie just doesn't allow.
The story of how TV helped influence our country's attitudes toward our gay friends is an important one.
And they're making a movie about it.
Producer Wilson Cruz and the film's director, David Bender (who happens to be a former mentor of mine), would love for you to hear their stories. A donor has offered to match every dollar donated, up to $10,000.
Learn more at their Kickstarter page and judge for yourself if this is a story worth telling. (I'm totally biased, but I think it is.) And since TV has the power to change lives, mind help changing theirs and sharing this?
UPDATE Aug. 17, 2015: With 24 hours to go, they're almost to their goal and have been given $15,000 in matching funds. For every dollar you donate, they'll get an extra dollar. Check out the campaign here.
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An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids… 
Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros. 
Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie? 
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Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."