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Why would someone cross the border illegally? Hear one man's harrowing story.

When your first day in America means hiding from Border Patrol.

José Miguel Cáceres is a 20-year-old who left Guatemala earlier this year to seek asylum in the U.S.

Here's the story of his first 24 hours at the border, in his own words.


First we arrived there, Camargo. That's the Mexican border with the United States. We were there in a house for four days.

It was a normal house. There were children and their mom and her husband there. Like a normal family. There were six of us, only men. Three of us who were there were from Guatemala, one Nicaraguan and two Salvadorans. I'm 20 years old. The others were 20, 22, 25, all the way up to 40.

We were eating well and able to wash ourselves and everything during those four days. We had everything we needed. On the fourth day, they decided to get us to cross the river.

We left the house in Camargo at five in the afternoon. They picked us up in a white truck and it was only a five-minute ride to the river. We sat in the back and we were covered. We had to be covered because if the army had seen us, they might have killed us or handed us over to immigration.

Once we got to the riverbank, we got out and started to walk. That's when the famous immigration helicopter showed up, the one from the United States.

The helicopter went around in a circle and then lowered a little when it saw us. From there, we dove down on the ground where there were some hills, and we stayed down there a little while. There were lots of plants and thorns.

Illustrations by Kitty Curran/Upworthy

The people from immigration weren't able to see us. The helicopter rose back up, and then from there, it did another circle. That was when we got up and started to run. We ran toward the riverbank so that they wouldn't see where we were. I imagine that maybe they let us go because it's Mexican territory and they weren't able to come down and arrest us. And it was just six people.

When we were watching the helicopter, we were all nervous, all tense. A few of the guys I was with had already been in the U.S. They knew what would happen, how we would suffer if we were caught before we crossed. It's better that they catch you here in the United States than catch you in Mexico. Because throughout Mexico there's a lot of corruption and the police work together with the drug traffickers.

I was coming to the United States because the gangs were extorting me in my neighborhood in Guatemala.

A group of people wanted me to give them money. I was working at McDonald's and they would show up there and ask for money. They would also call my cell phone and home. There were times when they actually came to my neighborhood.

I paid them 3,000 quetzales once, which is about $400. I was a target because I was working and because my family lived in the United States. When they asked me to pay again, I refused. Then they threatened me. They told me they wanted money and if I didn't give it, they were going to kill me. So I spoke with my parents and they immediately sent to bring me here. This was the best option.

I was thinking a lot about my family, my friends, and my girlfriend and her family in Guatemala during the trip. I knew that wherever I was, they were always there with me and supporting me.

So we started running again after the helicopter left. We ran and then we found ourselves another little piece of a hill. Then from there, our guide explained what we were going to do. And he told us that we were going to walk for 15 minutes, to the right.

“OK, 15 minutes," we told ourselves. But 15 minutes became an hour and a half. We walked a good bit, maybe five miles along the river.

We had two guides. They were Mexican, normal people, young, just like us. There was one who had gotten caught maybe a month before. He had a visa or residency here in the United States. But when they caught him bringing people over, they took it away.

When we reached the point where we would cross the river to the United States, we started to inflate the raft.

We were going to inflate it with a pump they brought, but they lost a piece and they had to go back to look for it. We tried to blow it up ourselves, but it was too big. So better to go back and look for the missing piece.

We stayed there, hidden in the brush until one of them came back with the piece and they started to inflate it. "It's good," they told us.

There was just one raft for everyone, for eight people. We needed a raft because the river is very deep and the current is very strong. And the river has whirlpools inside it. That's why many people aren't able to cross. Because they try to swim, but it's too strong.

At that moment, what we were most afraid of was that someone might fall off the raft and into the river. I can't swim, but they gave us life vests.

On one hand, I felt calm because I was using a raft. But on the other hand, I was nervous because an immigration boat could come at any time. And they could arrest us or something.

The raft seemed safe, but it's not.

If the raft hits a wire or maybe a pointy tree branch, even just once, then it can break. Yes, it can break. Then it would send everyone down into the river. We would sink.

We climbed into the raft. There was a person who was rowing and he started to row. It took maybe five minutes to cross and we arrived on the other side. When we finished crossing, it was already dark.

On the other side of the river, the American side, there were woods.

There were plants, trees, and roots all over. We started to climb up a little hill and then they told us to wait a moment.

We waited for five minutes or so and then they gave us instructions for what to do. They told us, "Look, we're going to walk for 15 minutes, that's it. And then someone will show up who will get us in a pickup. The pickup will be there already, waiting. Just a little further."

The walk wasn't hard because there was a dirt road. I think it was for agricultural workers. There are a lot of agricultural companies there, all sorts of companies. Pickup trucks go by there.

When we started to walk, it was around 9 p.m., so there wasn't any light. The sun was down.

Everyone was silent. The one person who said anything was the guide.

He told us what we had to do. He told us first that he wanted us to stay quiet, that we should walk in a line, and that the last one in the back was going to look to make sure no one was coming from behind. If the last person sees someone coming, then warn him.

He said that if we got in a row and went quickly that everything was going to be OK. And that we were going to be with our families soon. They were almost like professionals. I think they cross two groups each day, one in the morning and the other one in the afternoon. They weren't with us for the whole trip. They just cross people over, that's it.

We walked the 15 minutes. Then a guide told us there was a light, and we threw ourselves down in the woods out of fear.

We were worried that someone would be able to see us and was going to arrest us or something like that. There were more thorns on the ground, but when you're in this situation, you don't remember that there are thorns on the ground. We just threw ourselves down.

But then the light passed and they told us, "No, no. It's gone." We continued walking and we arrived at the place where the pickup was supposed to be. But the pickup still hadn't arrived and the guides were worried. They were afraid, too, because if immigration came, the agents would go for them, too.

After all we had gone through, there was a moment of tension because the pickup wasn't where it should have been. So the guides started to call and call and call. We thought about going back.

We were there for 10 minutes, not a long time. But in 10 minutes, you can think about a lot of things. Then suddenly the pickup arrived. "You need to go to the pickup," he said, "but you should go running." The truck was a red GMC and it already had the doors open for us.

We went running to the pickup and since it was night, no one saw us.

We all got in. From there, the driver turned around and we went to a city called Rio Grande.

The last time I had eaten was in the afternoon, but I wasn't hungry. When this is happening, you don't remember if you're hungry or thirsty. All you want is to get out of the situation.

Luckily, we weren't wet. We only got our feet wet, since when we put the raft in the water, we had to climb up. And it was March, so the weather was good. It was a nice day, not too cold, not too hot. I remember the day, it was March 9.

I wore a black sweatshirt, with jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers. That's it, they wouldn't let you carry more clothes. I wore them for the whole trip, 10 days.

When we arrived in Rio Grande, we were in a house for about 15 minutes.

It was a nice house and there was a family there. They were good people and they asked us if we wanted something to drink, a soda or a beer. They gave us crackers, something small. They asked if we wanted water, purified water.

The house was pretty big. It had more than one level and maybe five or six rooms, with three trucks parked outside. There was a man, his wife, and a little girl. The man was very nice. They spoke English and they barely spoke Spanish. But two of the guys I was with spoke a little English.

And from there, another young man arrived in a truck and told us, "OK, we're going to McAllen." And then he got us from the house and we got in the truck, a Honda CRV.

We traveled to McAllen and he told us that no matter what — even if the police stop us — we should say we don't know him, that we were just hitchhiking.

There were a lot of police on the highway. We passed 10 patrol cars at one point. We thought they were going to stop us, but they had stopped another person. They had just found a shipment of marijuana and we saw the packages. That's probably what made it so easy for us to pass by at that moment.

The driver was relaxed, though. He was from the United States, but he spoke Spanish. He was 29 or 30 and was wearing boots and a big hat.

It was about 20 minutes from where we were to McAllen. He was playing music and everything. He played Spanish rock music. Maná.

From there, they took us to an auto mechanic shop, where there they told us that two of us would go to an apartment with one guy and the other four would go with another guy. So this is where the group separated.

I went with my friend, the other Guatemalan. They were worried that immigration might check on one of the apartments. This way, if they found one group, they wouldn't get all six of us.

They took us to the apartment, my friend and me.

The apartment wasn't so big. It just had two rooms. One was where the person who was coordinating everything lived. The boss of the operation. In the other room, that was for three of us: me, the other Guatemalan, and a Honduran.

When we arrived at the apartment, it was like 11 p.m. The the Honduran gave us clothes to change into because we were dirty. He told us that the next day we could go to the laundromat.

The room had a television with cable, but no decorations. Just a mattress for him, a mattress for us, a television, and nothing else. That was the room. Oh, and a microwave.

He asked if we were hungry. "Yes, of course," we told him. Then he went to get us food from a restaurant.

We had tacos with beans, a different type than in Mexico. But at that point, anything would have been good. We were really hungry. We stuffed ourselves.

He came and he pulled out a mattress that he had there. He pulled it out and said, "You can sleep here." Then he gave us two sheets. We ate and talked awhile about the experience we had just had. We spoke about the helicopter and all that, about the walking, because we walked a lot. And we thanked God for getting us across uneventfully.

The Honduran guy had already been here six months. He had been living in the apartment, waiting for the right moment to try to pass through the Border Patrol checkpoint on the way to Houston. They were waiting for a rainy day because immigration doesn't go out much when it rains.

After an hour, at maybe 12 a.m., we said, “OK, we're going to sleep because it's time to rest. We've had a rough day."

The Honduran had his own bed and we had a mattress for the two of us. I laid down on the mattress and gave thanks to God for getting us across safely.

I was thankful because there are many people who don't cross the river.

Many people get left behind in the desert. And there are many people who are caught crossing the river. We were lucky to have gotten this far. And we had already gotten through the hardest part.

And from there, we went to sleep. We slept until 9 a.m. the next day and then had breakfast. After a little while, he told us, "Let's go to the shop." The mechanic's shop was only a few blocks away. They didn't want us to stay there alone in the room with nothing to do.

So we walked to the shop to get a change of scenery.

In the shop, we found ways to pass the time. We got to check on some cars and take a few things apart. I don't normally work on cars, but I was watching. There were three mechanics, so we could go with any of those three. If we had any questions about cars, we could ask them. It helped us pass the time more quickly.

A selfie José Miguel took of himself during his time in McAllen. Photo by José Miguel Cáceres, used with permission.

The boss of the operation — who was supposed to help get us to Houston — he was the head of the shop. He had other people who were going to take us to Houston. The shop was big, but he didn't have his own house, just the apartment. He was American, but his mother and father were Honduran and he was born here.

We stayed there until 4 p.m., more or less. When we walked home, the neighborhood was calm. There wasn't traffic and there weren't any people walking around. The street was nice and quiet and there weren't any problems.

Editor's note

I spoke with José Miguel in July at his family's apartment in Arlington, Virginia, where he told me about his first day in the U.S., as well as what came afterward.

He spent five days at the safe house in McAllen while smugglers waited for the right moment to circumvent a Border Patrol checkpoint on the road to Houston. The attempt failed, however, and he was apprehended with 10 other migrants.

He was detained by federal immigration authorities for nearly four months, with most of the time spent at a detention center in Louisiana, far from his family. He was released on bond in mid-July and currently hopes to receive asylum in the U.S.

This is just one story. According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, from Oct. 1, 2014, to July 31, 2015, Border Patrol agents made 270,818 apprehensions on the Southwest border — numbers that are lower than last year, but still significant. Many of these people were fleeing violence, poverty, and persecution. Others hoped to reunite with relatives on the other side.

Share this story and help more people understand the reality at the border.

*This text has been edited for narrative flow, grammar, and clarity.

Humor

Comedian nails the differences in how each generation arrives at someone's home

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.

There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

gen z slang, w rizz, generations, generation gap, generational differences Riz W Sign GIF Giphy

And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

gen z, selfie, generation gap, generational differences, generations Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva

People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

millennial, ok boomer, generation gap, generational differences, generations Giphy

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"

Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

Sometimes happiness is right at our fingertips.

Historically speaking, sex, drugs, and alcohol have been humanity’s go-to dopamine spiking refuges, a short-lived opportunity to feel pure, unadulterated pleasure, in spite of Mother Nature deciding it plays second fiddle to survival and procreation. However, we know these pleasure sources often aren’t as pure as they seem inherently, since they can lead to addiction.

And yet, judging from the truly wholesome answers to this Reddit question:

“What's the purest joy you've ever felt without intimacy, substances, or alcohol?”

…we are offered the reminder that maybe joy isn’t so elusive after all. And in fact, it comes to us, in the simplest of ways. Which can be a bit of a relief for those of us still convinced that happiness lies just on the other side of that goal post.

Below are some of our favorite answers. You’ll definitely notice a few major themes, but hopefully the biggest takeaway of all will be the reminder that in many ways, happiness is waiting to be felt by us. And maybe feeling a bit happier is only one hug, laugh, or sunset away. .

The wonders of nature

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A person basking in nature. Photo credit: Canva

“Seeing the sea for the first time.”

“For me, it was watching a sunrise on a quiet morning—just the colors, the stillness, and knowing the world was waking up. Pure, simple joy.”

“When I first saw a desert, it was honestly depressing. But then night fell and I saw the bands of the milky way galaxy.”

“I had never seen fireflies in real life but got to see them when my daughter was five. I wish I had a picture of my daughter’s face when we had one flashing and crawling up my shirt…We got to experience it together for the first time. If my memory starts to fade I hope that one is last to go!”

“When I was 24…I had just gone through a lot of BS…and was dealing with severe abandonment issues. I was casually seeing a guy and a friend of ours was moving to Washington and needed a ride. So we offered. Very long story short, shit hit the fan. We ended up penniless with nowhere to go…and randomly stumbled on this alpaca homestead that also provided camping…we spent the next few weeks working for them during the day…I mainly worked on the lawn…weeding this plot of land in front of their big log cabin.Every day I worked on the land and just thought about all the things that used to torment me…I eventually became grateful for every single thing that happened in my life, I was grateful for the good and bad. I just felt complete peace and acceptance. I was content for the first time in my life.

Things started randomly coming together…Every single thing we needed was provided in the most insane ways…Before, it was impossible to be alone with my own thoughts. After…I knew that there was something bigger than me…I knew beyond any doubt that true gratefulness connected me with it…I don't think that would have happened if I wasn't so immersed in nature, either. It was like the physical and spiritual connected to allow me to find myself. I swear I'm not a hippy 😂 I just think that radical love for yourself and radical gratefulness leads to some very incredible places that you can't reach otherwise.”

“I was snorkeling alone in a bay off a small Greek island. Suddenly there was a huge shoal of sardines all around me. There must have been thousands of them. I kept taking huge breaths and swimming underwater amongst them for as long as I could hold my breath. It was incredible, like a dream. Almost as if I was flying with a flock of birds. I swam with them as long as I could until they headed for deeper water.”

Second chances

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two people hugging.Photo credit: Canva

“When my parents were on the verge of separation I was very sad for a whole week and I was just trying to process how our lives are going to change forever. One evening my mom, my sis and I were talking about this whole mess and at the exact moment my father opened the door and there was awkward silence because mom and dad weren't talking at all. Suddenly everyone laughed at the awkwardness of the situation and that's when it hit me that ‘this is probably the last time we are laughing as a family of 4…’While laughing I burst into tears because I felt pure joy and peace I was missing for the past week and that day I understood the value of having a loving family. Luckily my parents didn't separate and things are better now.”

“Riding a horse again after being wheelchair-bound for five months.”

Being able to afford all your needs…because money does buy some happiness

“Last night, I went to Target, bought only what I needed, came home to my one bedroom apartment, changed into comfy clothes, lit a candle, and opened the window to a complete downpouring thunderstorm…I sat on the couch, watched a romance movie, ate dinner, my cat crawled her way into my arms and just purred next to my ear while I held her. I vacuumed, folded my laundry, put it away. Brushed my teeth and got into bed, and realized that not only do I have my own apartment to myself, I could still smell the aroma of dinner around and it smelled like HOME. After all the years of shitty roommates and being broke and working two jobs, I make enough to afford my own apartment…and have enough time to spend time enjoying it. I almost cried for joy.”

“I was in an accident and got a decent settlement when I was younger…For a couple years I was able to buy everything I needed, a lot of stuff I wanted, and spend money on my friends. Genuinely those years were the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Residual joy from someone else’s win

“I’m a software developer. During COVID, a close friend of mine got laid off from his job at a catering company.…I offered for him to live with me and my family during the pandemic rent-free and teach him how to code.For the following year and a half, I worked closely with him every single weekday; helping him through tutorials, projects, bugs, frustration, and moments of exasperation…After living with us for a year and a half and applying to over 600 jobs in the last 6 months, he finally got an offer as a software engineer, not only paying more than he ever made at a restaurant, but also with full benefits so he could get dental work done…getting this job meant that he was essentially set for life…The day I came home after he got the offer, we just laughed and cried and bro-hugged forever. It was one of the proudest moments of my life and I’ll never forget that feeling of truly lifting someone else up in a way that affects the rest of their life. This month marks his 3rd year into his engineering career and he is still killing it.”

“Hearing my wife was cured of cancer. Those words will forever be engraved in my memory and associated with pure joy”

“Watching my little boy ring the bell last week after beating cancer ❤️”

Kindness from strangers…especially in times of struggles

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two kids enjoying a milkshake. Photo credit: Canva

“Me and my brother were dirt poor, but we saved up enough money for a McFlurry. We were at the McDonalds door counting up our coins to make sure we had enough. I went in, payed for the McFlurry with exact change, the person at the register saw my brother waiting outside by the door, she handed me two. It felt like Christmas.”

Being the recipient of unconditional love

“The day my niece, who had just learned to talk, saw me walk in the door and screamed my name before running up to hug me. Zero agenda, zero conditions.. just pure joy from someone happy I existed.”

“Being with someone I truly could be myself with. It lasted for only a few months, but I can't remember anything that comes close since.”

“I would have to say the private last dance at my wife and I’s wedding…We had a whole song just to ourselves and the emotions of the day overwhelmed me. I didn’t cry at the first look, but I cried then. I may have been a bit buzzed but the happiness I felt was profound.”

Earning the love of an animal

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A sweet doggo. Photo credit: Canva

“The day my rescue dog laid her head on me to fall asleep after 2 years of work to help her”

“That feeling when a rescue finally trusts you is just unreal. My most recent cat hid under the bed for a few days and one night just randomly decided to come onto the bed and plop down right between my husband and I. I could've cried.”

“I had a rescue parrot…You could not look at him without him visibly trembling…And yet, I could see he wanted so badly to love and trust…I will never forget the first time I offered him my head, since he looked like he wanted to touch it, and he very roughly preened my hair…Once that particular threshold was crossed, he was the most love hungry member of our flock…You could not give him enough loving…I’ll always be grateful to have known and helped you, my dear Smudge.”

“I recently went back to Italy after being gone. The people that I thought would come to see me didn’t, and I was feeling a bit unwelcome. I went to my favorite bar/cafe/restaurant…After I sat down for about 5 minutes the bar’s cat was frantically meowing at me and trotting over to greet me. She remembered me :) I was so happy and the beginning of my stay was a lot better because I was feeling a bit alone and forgotten.”

Engaging the senses

“Fresh cool sheets on my bed with the windows open in the fall for a mid-day nap!”

“Playing live music. Being emotionally connected to a room full of people is an amazing feeling. And of course everyone likes being clapped at.”

And last, but certainly not least—seeing the world

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Someone seeing the world. Photo credit: Canva

“Traveling. The pure excitement of being in a new country, taking everything in and seeing what kind of adventure unfolds. Especially true for my first solo trip 10 years ago when I had wanted to travel forever and finally did, despite people telling me not to.”

May we all find one simple thing to bring us pure joy just like this today.

Canva Photos

There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlife Learning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

This article originally appeared in June.

Flight attendants have stories for days.

In some ways, airplanes are a great equalizer. People from all economic brackets, political persuasions, cultures, and walks of life fly on planes occasionally, so every flight is like a mixed bag of humanity.

Flight attendants see it all and have to interact with the vast array of people in all their quirks on a daily basis. Their job requires providing friendly customer service and also keeping passengers safe, which isn't always easy. Naturally, most flight attendants have stories for days, but we're not always privy to them.

flight attendant, flying, airplane, airlines, air travel Flight attendants have to interact with all kinds of people every day.Photo credit: Canva

A flight attendant named Savannah is giving us an inside look at the weird, funny, and surprising interactions she has with passengers, and it is a hoot. Savannah works for Delta, and her "Life of a Flight Attendant" videos have become viral favorites. It all started with a TikTok video where she launched right in with a handful of brief anecdotes:

"A guy in first class asked if he could smoke a cigarette, and when I said no, he said, 'But I'm in first class.'"

"One lady asked why there was orange juice in her mimosa."

"When we landed it was still dark outside, and one guy literally asked me if our flight took that long cuz it was nighttime again. Mind you, we left at 5:00 a.m. for an hour flight."

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

"I had to inform one lady that we weren't the only airline that allowed babies when there was a baby crying—mind you, for like 15 seconds—and she said she was never flying Delta again. Because of the crying baby."

"The lady's husband asked why there wasn't a dinner on a 45-minute flight. At 8:00 a.m."

Savannah shared that she's had multiple passengers walk into the bathroom barefoot or in socks. One little boy asked if she was related to Tarzan. One lady dropped her back on Savannah's foot and told her to "Take care of it." She's had people tell her to ask the pilots to turn off the engines because they are too loud.

And that's just Part 1. Savannah has made 15 of these so far and she's gathering more stories by the day.

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

Here's one fan favorite from Part 15:

"We board in Minneapolis and this lady comes on, she's like, 'I can't find my seat,' and I said, 'Can I see your boarding pass?' She was like, 'Well, I'm at G18.'

I said, 'Ma'am, there's no G on this plane. It's ABC DEF.' And she was like, 'Yeah, but my boarding pass says G18.' And I said, "Oh, that's the gate. We're parked at G18. Can I see your boarding pass? I'll let you know what seat you're in.'

She was like, 'I want to sit at G18.'

'Well, that's inside the airport, up the jetbridge. Um, can I see your boarding pass, and I can just, um, let you know your seat number?'

'Well, I want to sit at G18 and I'm not sitting anywhere else.'

airport, airlines, airplane, flight gate, flight attendant G18 is a gate, not a seat, ma'am. Photo credit: Canva

'I'm gonna propose a solution. You can go sit at G18 in the airport or you can hand me your boarding pass and I can show you your assigned seat and you can go to Atlanta. So, I'm gonna leave it up to you—it's your call—n=but there isn't a G18 on this plane. I'm very sorry. If you do want to sit at G18, it is in the airport, okay?'"

Can you imagine having conversations like this on a daily basis?

Some of Savannah's stories are just delightful, such as the kid who tried to convince her to give him gummy bears while his mom slept beside him or the elderly man who recognized her from TikTok and pulled up her account to show her her own face.

@savannah0191

guaranteed that mom heard our whole conversation 🥲😅

Part of what people love about Savannah's storytelling is that she has great timing and facial expressions. But she also seems like a genuinely sweet person who is perfectly suited to her job, which is always lovely to see. You can't interact with humans all day without a sense of humor. You also can't do it without actually liking people in general. Based on Savanna's viral video from 2021 in which she explains what she thinks about passengers based on what they're wearing, she really is well suited to interact with people all day:

@savannah0191

welcome onboard 🥰🥰 #flightattendantlife #greenscreen

You can follow Savannah on TikTok for more.


Family

Shocking new poll shows just how incredibly sheltered kids are these days

Seventy-one percent of 8 to 12-year-olds have never held a sharp knife.

A young boy staring at out the window.

If you compare parenting in 2025 to what it was in the ‘70s or ‘80s, there are some glaring differences. The first is that back in the day, kids were allowed to explore more on their own. It was common to see seven- or eight-year-olds walk home from school alone, and some were latchkey kids who came home to an empty house until their parents got home.

However, there has been a significant cultural shift, where the family has become increasingly centered around children, and parents are more concerned than ever about their kids’ safety. Even though the overall crime rate in America is much less than it was forty years ago. The effects of these changes are apparent in a shocking new Harris Poll about eight to twelve-year-old American children.

sad child, sheltered child, girl at window, depression, helicopter parent, stuck inside A young boy staring at out the window.via Canva/Photos

How sheltered are 8 to 12-year-olds?

45% have not walked in a different aisle than their parents at a store

56% have not talked with a neighbor without their parents

61% have not made plans with friends without adults helping them

62% have not walked/biked somewhere (a store, park, school) without an adult

63% have not built a structure outside (for example, a fort or treehouse)

67% have not done work that they’ve been paid for (e.g., mowing lawns, shoveling snow, babysitting)

71% have not used a sharp knife

The problem with raising sheltered kids

The poll results are alarming because children raised without freedom and real-life experiences are likely to have a tough life as adults. Sheltered children become adults who have a hard time making decisions, connecting with other people, and overcoming challenges. Sheltered children also grow up lacking individuality and confidence. It seems that the intense need to protect children winds up making them terrified as adults.

dorm room, college girls, girls studying, college life, bedroom, College girls in a dorm room.via Canva/Photos

How to raise children who aren’t sheltered

Jonathan Haidt, social psychologist and author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, says one way to raise confident, independent children is to give them jobs outside of the house. "Practice letting your kids out of your sight without them having a way to reach you. While you cook dinner for your friends, send your kids out with theirs to the grocery store to pick up more garlic—even if you don't need it,” he told NPR.

Haidt believes that when children are seen walking to the store to get milk, it transforms them, as well as the community. “The brilliant part of this challenge is that it changes the norms. Before you know it, it's normal to see an eight-year-old carrying a quart of milk. It's normal to see a nine-year-old on a bicycle—that's how you change the norms,” Haidt continues.

kid shopping, independant kid, boy, boy with pineapple, boy in grocery store A young boy shopping at a grocery store.via Canva/Photos

He also suggests that parents should print out kids' licenses, similar to the ones available here, so they can demonstrate their independence if questioned by adults.

Raising kids who are resilient, capable, and emotionally mature begins when parents loosen their grip and allow them more freedom and trust. For many, this may run counter to their instincts, but it's necessary to raise well-rounded kids. Furthermore, in a world where many children are sheltered, those with a greater sense of individuality and confidence will have a distinct advantage when they enter the hyper-competitive adult world. In the end, well-adjusted competent adults are built not by shleting kids, but by setting them free.

- YouTube www.youtube.com