
Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama had a delightful friendship.
Occasionally a religious leader comes long who garners universal love and respect from people of all faiths. Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu was one of those leaders, and the world is mourning his passing at age 90.
Tutu will be remembered for his fierce passion for justice combined with his humble, humorous manner. He courageously took on the injustice of apartheid in his home country of South Africa, advocating for nonviolent protest against the white supremacist system. He was appointed the head of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission after apartheid ended, which provided a model for the world of restorative justice. He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 for his work on human rights. He gave speeches and wrote books about hope, faith, forgiveness and joy, including one cowritten with the Dalai Lama.
His inclusivity and open-hearted approach to all people was an inspiration to all.
Desmond Tutu in his own words: ‘He loved, he laughed, he cried.'
He was a man who endured severe racist oppression, then wrote: "When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognising the humanity in others."
He offered wisdom to those who have suffered: “We are not responsible for what breaks us, but we can be responsible for what puts us back together again. Naming the hurt is how we begin to repair our broken parts.”
He called for justice and true equality for all: "I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master," he said. "I want the full menu of rights."
And called us all to action on that front: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."
He was a deeply religious Christian cleric who embraced people of all faiths, famously writing, "God is not a Christian" and telling Real Leaders:
"It doesn’t matter where we worship or what we call God; there is only one, inter-dependent human family. We are born for goodness, to love – free of prejudice. All of us, without exception. There is greater commonality in our belief systems than we tend to credit, a golden thread expressed in the maxim that one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. I don’t believe in the notion of 'opposing belief systems.' It would be more accurate to say that human beings have a long history of rationalizing acts of inhumanity on the basis of their own interpretations of the will of God."
He wasn't about the noise. In his address at the Nelson Mandela Foundation in 2004, Tutu said: "My father always used to say, 'Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.' Good sense does not always lie with the loudest shouters, nor can we say that a large, unruly crowd is always the best arbiter of what is right."
And he was funny. His playful friendship with the Dalai Lama is one for the ages.
This is WONDERFUL.\nI did not expect Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama to be the Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks of organiser religion.pic.twitter.com/h8ub0JCtV8— Dan Thomas (@Dan Thomas) 1640513894
His ready, warm smile and the ever-present twinkle in his eye were emblems of what Desmond Tutu offered to the world—universal kindness, genuine forgiveness, a deep well of joy and an unshakeable belief in people's potential for change.
He shared his faith by continually showering his gifts on all of humanity. May we remember and use them well.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.