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Watch a rock band's hilarious response to the senseless ramblings of a Supreme Court justice.

Justice Antonin Scalia has never sounded better in his life.

Watch a rock band's hilarious response to the senseless ramblings of a Supreme Court justice.

In a single week in June 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court stuffed two hot-potato issues with judicial deliciousness.

Not only were the rulings signals of progress, they also stirred the perfect storm for timely, hilarious, musical delight, which you'll be awash with in but a moment.

First, there was King v. Burwell, a ruling that would make or break President Obama's chronically debated health care law. Justice John Roberts delivered the decision.


Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images.

The court may have spared President Obama a trip to the ER with their decision to uphold the constitutionality of the tax subsidies needed for the Affordable Care Act to work. Ironically, the people who benefit most from the ruling live more in places controlled by politicians who opposed Obamacare.

Then there was Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark same-sex marriage ruling. Justice Anthony Kennedy read the decision.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

LEGAL. Across. The. Entire. Country. The ruling ended a battle for marriage equality that has been righteously waged for 45 years. And in an interesting tie to health care, researchers believe the ruling on same-sex marriage may be a boon to public health.

But the rulings left some folks feeling like burnt toast. Namely, the justices who voted in dissent.

Especially Justice Antonin Scalia. He was so flabbergasted by the outcomes that he could neither contain his opinion nor cogently deliver his opinion. Here are a few of his attempts.

On the Affordable Care Act:

  • "The Court's next bit of interpretive jiggery-pokery involves other parts of the Act that purportedly presuppose the availability of tax credits on both federal and state Exchanges."
  • "Pure applesauce. Imagine that a university sends around a bulletin reminding every professor to take the 'interests of graduate students' into account when setting office hours, but that some professors teach only undergraduates. Would anybody reason that the bulletin implicitly presupposes that every professor has 'graduate students,' so that 'graduate students' must really mean 'graduate or undergraduate students'? Surely not."
  • "We should start calling this law SCOTUScare."

On marriage equality:

  • "Who ever thought that intimacy andspirituality (whatever that means) were freedoms? And ifintimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy isabridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask thenearest hippie."
  • "Buried beneath the mummeries and straining-to-be-memorable passages of the opinion is a candid and startling assertion."
  • "The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie."

So rock band Coheed and Cambria did the grumpy justice a solid.

They turned his wordy babbling into something more worth your attention with this lovely but still senseless-as-Scalia ballad on Funny or Die:

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We hear you, Justice Scalia. But we still don't get you.

Photo courtesy of Capital One
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Growing up in Virginia, Dominique Meeks Gombe idolized her family physician — a young Black woman who inspired Meeks Gombe to pursue her passion for chemistry.

While Meeks Gombe began her career working in an environmental chemistry lab, after observing multiple inefficient processes in and around the lab, she took the initiative to teach herself to code in order to automate and streamline those issues.

That sparked her love for coding and imminent career shift. Now a software engineer at Capital One, Meeks Gombe wants to be a similar role model to her childhood mentor and encourage girls to pursue any career they desire.

"I'm so passionate about technology because that's where the world is going," Meeks Gombe said. "All of today's problems will be solved using technology. So it's very important for me, as a Black woman, to be at the proverbial table with my unique perspective."

Since 2019, she and her fellow Capital One associates have partnered with the Capital One Coders program and Girls For A Change to teach coding fundamentals to middle school girls.

The nonprofit's mission is aimed at empowering Black girls in Central Virginia. The organization focuses on designing, leading, funding and implementing social change projects that tackle issues girls face in their own neighborhoods.

Girls For a Change is one of many local nonprofits that receive support from the Capital One Impact Initiative, which strives to close gaps in equity while helping people gain better access to economic and social opportunities. The initial $200 million, five-year national commitment aims to support growth in underserved communities as well as advance socioeconomic mobility.

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Another week of 2021 in the books...and now we're fully into September. Holy moly, how did that happen? Pandemic time is so wild.

Another week means another chance for us to counter the doom-and-gloom headlines with some simple rays of sunshine. Need a reason to smile? Here are 10 of them.

Enjoy.

1. This story of quick-thinking generosity on 9/11 is a reminder of the goodness of ordinary people.

Mercedes Martinez shared a story on Twitter about how her dad rented the biggest van he could find just before his flight was grounded on 9/11 because he knew people were going to be stranded. He ended up driving seven scared strangers from Omaha to Denver, took them straight to their front doors, and refused to accept any payment. She wants to find the people he helped. Read the full story here and follow her thread here for updates.


2. A WWII veteran got to meet the girl who wrote him a letter in the third grade, which he's kept with him for 12 years.

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