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Watch a rock band's hilarious response to the senseless ramblings of a Supreme Court justice.

Justice Antonin Scalia has never sounded better in his life.

In a single week in June 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court stuffed two hot-potato issues with judicial deliciousness.

Not only were the rulings signals of progress, they also stirred the perfect storm for timely, hilarious, musical delight, which you'll be awash with in but a moment.

First, there was King v. Burwell, a ruling that would make or break President Obama's chronically debated health care law. Justice John Roberts delivered the decision.

Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images.

The court may have spared President Obama a trip to the ER with their decision to uphold the constitutionality of the tax subsidies needed for the Affordable Care Act to work. Ironically, the people who benefit most from the ruling live more in places controlled by politicians who opposed Obamacare.

Then there was Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark same-sex marriage ruling. Justice Anthony Kennedy read the decision.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

LEGAL. Across. The. Entire. Country. The ruling ended a battle for marriage equality that has been righteously waged for 45 years. And in an interesting tie to health care, researchers believe the ruling on same-sex marriage may be a boon to public health.

But the rulings left some folks feeling like burnt toast. Namely, the justices who voted in dissent.

Especially Justice Antonin Scalia. He was so flabbergasted by the outcomes that he could neither contain his opinion nor cogently deliver his opinion. Here are a few of his attempts.

On the Affordable Care Act:

  • "The Court's next bit of interpretive jiggery-pokery involves other parts of the Act that purportedly presuppose the availability of tax credits on both federal and state Exchanges."
  • "Pure applesauce. Imagine that a university sends around a bulletin reminding every professor to take the 'interests of graduate students' into account when setting office hours, but that some professors teach only undergraduates. Would anybody reason that the bulletin implicitly presupposes that every professor has 'graduate students,' so that 'graduate students' must really mean 'graduate or undergraduate students'? Surely not."
  • "We should start calling this law SCOTUScare."

On marriage equality:

  • "Who ever thought that intimacy andspirituality (whatever that means) were freedoms? And ifintimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy isabridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask thenearest hippie."
  • "Buried beneath the mummeries and straining-to-be-memorable passages of the opinion is a candid and startling assertion."
  • "The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie."

So rock band Coheed and Cambria did the grumpy justice a solid.

They turned his wordy babbling into something more worth your attention with this lovely but still senseless-as-Scalia ballad on Funny or Die:

<span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span>

We hear you, Justice Scalia. But we still don't get you.

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Spin your own sustainable music with the Recycled Records beat machine

All photos courtesy of The Coca-Cola Company

Behind the Scenes Making Recycled Records with Mark Ronson

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You’re walking down the sidewalk, earbuds in, listening to your favorite hip-hop beats. As your head bobs to the sounds, the sun warms your back. It’s a perfect day.

When the chorus hits, the empty Sprite bottle in your hand becomes a drumstick, passing traffic becomes a sea of concertgoers, and the concrete beneath your feet is suddenly a stage. Spinning on your heels, you close out the song with your face to the sky and hands in the air.

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Drew Barrymore getting a quick assist from Jennifer Aniston

It feels safe to say that many, if not most people hail Drew Barrymore as the “Queen of Candid.” She can seemingly talk to absolutely anyone about anything in a way that’s consistently warm and authentic.

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@elll.rose/TikTok

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@penslucero/TikTok

Pency Lucero taking in the Northern Lights

Seeing the northern lights is a common bucket list adventure for many people. After all, it ticks a lot of boxes—being a dazzling light show, rich historical experience and scientific phenomenon all rolled into one. Plus there’s the uncertainty of it all, never quite knowing if you’ll witness a vivid streak of otherworldly colors dance across the sky…or simply see an oddly colored cloud. It’s nature’s slot machine, if you will.

Traveler and content creator Pency Lucero was willing to take that gamble. After thorough research, she stumbled upon an Airbnb in Rörbäck, Sweden with an actual picture of the northern lights shining above the cabin in the listing. With that kind of photo evidence, she felt good about her odds.

However, as soon as she landed, snow began falling so hard that the entire sky was “barely visible,” she told Upworthy. Martin, the Airbnb host, was nonetheless determined to do everything he could to ensure his guests got to see the spectacle, even offering to wake Lucero up in the middle of the night if he saw anything.

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Woody Harrelson wrote a hilarious little poem for his viral baby doppelgänger

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Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. Most people alive today were not around in the Victorian era when the technologies now deemed old-fashioned were a novelty. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

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