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Volkswagen is in deep trouble. These 5 points explain the whole unbelievable scandal.

Volkswagen is in deep trouble.

The grimace on this bright red Beetle pretty much says it all:


That is one anxious hatchback. Photo by Emelian Robert Vicol/Pixabay.

The car company is currently embroiled in a scandal that is rocking the United States and Europe.

And it is — to a large extent — bananas.

The coverage has been so scattered, it's hard to get a sense of what, exactly, the hell is going on. Which is a shame because you can basically sum the whole thing up in five admittedly bonkers bullet points:

1. Volkswagen is accused of installing a secret device in millions of cars that allows them to cheat on emissions tests.

This is what diesel exhaust looks like:

Photo by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency/Wikimedia Commons.

At first glance it might seem like building a machine that emits a thick, black smoke not unlike the ashen upchuck of a thousand demons belching from the maw of hell might not be super ideal for the environment, generally speaking.

But for years, Volkswagen has been making passenger cars powered with the stuff. Lots and lots of 'em. Passats, Jettas, Beetles, Golfs, Audi A3s — the full fist.

They had lots of good reasons to do so, too. Diesel vehicles often feature better engine performance and fuel economy. Volkswagen argued they were clean enough, and sure enough, year after year, its vehicles passed inspection. But here's the thing:

The whole time customers thought they were getting this?

You're telling me I've finally parallel parked this car, and now it might be recalled? Photo by IFCAR/WIkimedia Commons.

They were actually getting this:


Not pictured: Imperator Furiosa.

According to a blockbuster investigation by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, many Volkswagen on-board computers were programmed with a secret algorithm that can sense when the car is being tested for emissions and lower the output of the engine accordingly. When actual tests were run, Volkswagen's diesel vehicles were spitting out up to 40 times (!!!) more nitrogen oxide than U.S. limits allow.

Initially, everyone thought the device was only installed in a few hundred thousand cars, all in the United States. But Volkswagen has since acknowledged that the modification was made to over 11 million vehicles worldwide.

This is exactly the type of extreme corporate malfeasance that usually results in coverups, denials, counter-denials, counter-coverups, and Matt Damon racing with smoking-gun documents in hand to a meeting with the FBI but Tilda Swinton is already waiting there with a hitman so no one ever finds out except maybe for his estranged ex-lover Jessica Chastain, who is seen opening a mysterious envelope in the very last shot.

"Oh God. Morris. Morris. I believe you, Morris. I finally believe you." Those are the lines Jessica Chastain's agent would — probably — negotiate an extra $300,000 for her to say. Photo by Mladen Antonov/Getty Images.

Yet somehow, none of that happened in this case. Mostly because:

2. The company said, "¯\\_(ツ)_/¯," and basically up and admitted to all of the above.

To recap, the United States government accused Volkswagen of manipulating consumers, hoodwinking regulators, deceiving shareholders, and poisoning the atmosphere our great Mother Earth provided for her children to enjoy for all eternity.

And Volkswagen's response was, essentially, "Yep."

A former Volkswagen executive, attempting to express human emotion. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

Or, more specifically, "Yep, uh. Yeah."

The evidence appears to be so rock solid that the company is ... not really denying anything. Either Volkswagen is playing the most head-scratchingly amazing game of 17-dimensional chess anyone has ever played, or they are really, world-historically screwed.

3. The CEO has resigned but claims he didn't know anything.

Until Sept. 23, 2015, the buck at Volkswagen stopped with CEO Martin Winterkorn, seen here, probably watching James Bond struggle to free himself from a glass cage that's slowly running out of oxygen because, well, just look at him. Jeez:

"My plan is absolutely ... breathtaking, Mr. Bond," says Martin Winterkorn — probably. Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images.

Winterkorn has denied all knowledge of any wrongdoing, and yet almost immediately stepped down from his post, quietly disappearing into some hedges surrounding VW's Wolfsburg, Germany, headquarters, never to be heard from again.

"Into the mists of time, go I," says Martin Winterkorn — almost definitely. Photo by Nigel Jones/Geograph.

We are, I assume, supposed to see Winterkorn's denial as credible. Nevermind that this basically requires us to believe that some employee was sitting around the break room one day, halfheartedly playing Temple Run and thinking, "I've got this incredible idea for a complicated, quasi-legal international scheme that could either save the company or cost us billions and send dozens of our executives to prison. I'll just assume I have the green light."

But OK. We're with you, Marty. You do you.

4. The company has budgeted over $7 billion to deal with the fallout.

According to an NBC News report, Volkswagen has allocated $7.2 billion to "win back the trust of our customers" in the wake of the scandal. Not only is that, in corporate accounting terms, an everloving crapton of money, it's more than the nominal gross domestic product of 43 countries, as this street scene from Guinea-Bissau pretty well illustrates:

Guinea-Bissau would love to win back the trust of its customers, but it's gonna need to spend a hunk of that cash getting this old rusty tank out of the road first. Photo by Mariomassone/Wikimedia Commons.

There are at least two possible explanations for this.

One is that, well, Volkswagen did the math and realized that jacking their tiny, sketchy computers out of a bunch of lightly-used Passats and the ensuing awkward ad buy to admit what they did was really going to cost them.

The other is that Volkswagen is still hiding something they're really, really embarrassed about. Which, for a car company founded by literal Nazis is saying something.

You will enjoy the power steering, yes? Photo via German Federal Archive/Wikimedia Commons.

5. In a really bizarre, messed up way, this is good news for the environment. I know. I know. Just go with me here.

Many argue that here in the U.S., we should always be trying to cut our government "down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub." Which is all well and good so far as it goes. Until some jerkwad company decides to start ejecting sooty, greasy, demon smog into the air. And you can't breathe. And you're like, "Uh ... government? You in there?"

"Whew, yeah, uh ... so sorry about that whole thing. Government? You ... OK?" Photo by Yannick Trottier/Wikimedia Commons.

The Volkswagen bust is an example of the Environmental Protection Agency doing what it does best: protecting the hell out of the environment in a way that has not just national but global implications. It makes the decision not to drown the EPA, despite repeated calls to do so, pretty darn sage.

And the best part? We get it on the cheap. The EPA runs the U.S. taxpayer just over $7 billion a year. "Now wait a minute," you might be thinking, "I thought you just said that was a crapload of money." And in car company terms, it is. But in U.S. government terms, it's pocket change. The Department of Defense, for comparison, set us back nearly $500 billion in 2015. You could have 71 EPAs for every one DoD.

Thankfully, we don't need 71. Because, as the Volkswagen saga makes abundantly clear, at the end of the day, one jacked up, 'roided out EPA is plenty good for the Earth.

Gets no love, but amazing in the clutch. Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images.

Let's hope they keep on swinging for the fences.

Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

Family

Mom shares how being actively parented as a full-grown adult makes all the difference

“I think this is what people mean when they say ‘It takes a village.’”

@hannahwiththelipstick/Instagram (used with permission)

We need our parents after we leave the nest, just in different ways.

When we think of "parenting" we usually think of the years from birth to college age, when kids become legal adults and many start fleeing the nest. It's not like there's a magic switch that gets flipped at 18 that suddenly makes kids not need their parents anymore, but the young adult years are a time when people grow into their independence, taking on the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood gradually but surely.

But what happens after that? Once kids are grown and flown, what role to parents play? They're not rulemakers or final authorities anymore, and they certainly aren't having to make sure basic needs are being met, but that doesn't mean their parenting years are over.

A video from a mom named Hannah shows what supportie, active parenting looks like with fully adult children, and it's a beautiful example of the way parent-child relationships ideally shift over time.

"My parents could write a manual on how to practically love your adult children," wrote Hannah Cases of @hannahwiththelipstick. "I was feeling overwhelmed and this was their response."

As she sits outside with a blanket around her shoulders and a warm mug in her hand, Hannah's parents are shown playing with her child, cooking some soup, organizing and cleaning and otherwise taking some of the load off her shoulders.

"Your adult children still need you," she wrote.

@hannahwiththelipstick

I think this is what people mean when they say “it takes a village”. 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say “I’m fine” or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words “I love you”. I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻 #ittakesavillage #myvillage #familyiseverything #ittakesavillagetoraiseachild #grandparentgoals #parentgoals #loveyouradultchildren #grandparentslove #parentslove


In the caption of the video, she expanded her thoughts:

"I think this is what people mean when they say 'it takes a village.' 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say 'I’m fine' or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words 'I love you.' I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻"

It's true that not everyone has parents or a relationship with their parents that would give them this kind of support, but that doesn't mean people aren't desperate for it.

"Honestly seeing this inspires me to be this parent… I pray one day I can create a space this loving for my daughter. I wish every family had this. The world would be such a better, more healthy place."

"Such a gift. I wish we all had parents like this. 🥺"

"100000000x this!!!
Arguably we need you more than ever, now!
We crave independence when we are young, and family/support as we grow our own. ❤️❤️❤️❤️"

"I really wish my mother was capable of this kind of love and support, but unfortunately many of us don’t have this… count yourself blessed if you do!! ❤️"

"You are very blessed to have them ❤️ myself and my husband’s parents don’t ever come around for us or our 2 kiddos and it’s very sad. We have no village except our good friends."

"All I get when I tell my mom I’m struggling is ‘I remember those days.’ Happy for people who have this support but also jealous 😅 But someday I will be there for my grown kids with whatever they need."

"I hope I get the opportunity to show up for my adult babies and their babies like this someday."

"My parents are like this and I’m SO thankful. My mom showed up Monday with a coffee for me. Today both kids have swim class. My dad tags along, and every Wednesday he brings us breakfast. Little things like that, that just make it a little easier on me. My parents live 6 minutes away and I tell them all the time I couldn’t do it without them!"

"We live 15 away from my in-laws. Once a week, my Mother-in-law does one on one time with my two kids. Since the kiddos will nap during the time it’s not their turn with their mimi, it really ends up being such a wonderful break for me. It really does take a village!"

"I tell my parents all the time that I still need my mommy and daddy lol it sounds silly, but it’s so true! I’m so thankful they live one street over and are always available at the drop of a hat! ❤️"

Though it's sad to see in the comments how many people don't have this kind of support, it's also a good reminder to be there for one another when and how we can be. There's no substitute for loving and supportive parents, but any friend or family member who has the time and inclination can help fill that role when they see there's a need.

It's always good to see positive examples of healthy relationships, both to know what's possible and to inspire us to be the people—the village—we want someone to be for us.

You can follow Hannah Cases on Instagram and TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year.

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

Man's tour of his $1200 NYC micro-apartment is wild

There is likely not a single adult that doesn't know that living in New York City is ridiculously expensive. It's been expensive since before there was a Carrie Bradshaw refusing to let go of her rent controlled apartment and the prices in the late 90s show "Sex and the City" were much lower than current day. Most people are not expecting reasonable rent for reasonable sized apartments in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

What people likely weren't expecting was how expensive an apartment the size of a walk in closet would cost. That's not an exaggeration, the micro apartments in New York city are so small that it would take someone three to four steps to make it to the other side. But somehow the space accommodates a bed, which doubles as a couch, a bathroom and what they're labeling as a kitchen.

Seeing the micro apartments empty makes it difficult to imagine how someone would live in such a small place. Quincy Weirts, a dog groomer in NYC wanted to give his family and friends a tour of his new micro apartment which unintentionally ends up satisfying the curiosity of strangers after he uploaded it on social media.

barcelona lego GIF by MakeSpaceGiphy

From the start of the video it's evident that the apartment is much smaller than one would expect. Weirts is standing in the middle of the apartment and sits down onto his futon pointing to the front door and other areas around the room. A friend is sitting on the floor directly in front of the door as there doesn't appear to be anywhere else they can sit. Just a couple steps from the front door is the kitchen space that sits right outside the bathroom door.

The kitchen has a small sink that also doubles as the counter space and two burners to cook with and no oven. There's a micro-fridge that fits in the space under the burners. Surprisingly the bathroom isn't much smaller than a half bathroom that you'd find in just about any small house or apartment. While the apartment lacks some serious storage space and the only closet is blocked by the bed, it does seem to have everything a college kid or single adult needs to live contently in the city.

Season 5 Ifc GIF by PortlandiaGiphy

The video has over 2.5 million views leading to comments from people fascinated by the tiny living space and the extraordinary price point. And while some were worried about the dog not having enough space, Weirts assured viewers that his dog goes on multiple walks a day and goes to work with him daily.

Once everyone got over the shock of the price tag for the micro apartment, people were quick to jump in with ideas to help with functional decorations to add storage space.


Someone offered a solution for Weirts not having enough space to hang his television saying, "Get a projector and watch tv on the brick wall across the ally."

Another suggests, "Get rid of extra. Like keep 2 mugs, 2 cups etc. store all the kitchen stuff above the cabinet. I think being more minimalist would really improve the way it looks and feels."

One person offers ideas for making more space, "Storage on the back of the bathroom door for spices, cooking utensils etc and then a cover for the stove so it can be used as a counter top."


Someone else thinks the tiny apartment videos should become a regular thing, "So hear me out… make this a series. Let us watch you make it your cozy home! I’m super excited for you!"

Of course there were people very focused on the price compared to what you get, but the man shares that he's happy with the apartment. He was recently accepted into Columbia University and wanted an apartment within his budget near the college and the micro apartment fit his needs perfectly. Weirts is dedicated to making his home feel cozy and now he has an unexpected audience ready to come along on his journey.

This article originally appeared last year.

Learning

Teacher explains why he doesn't like the classic kid's book 'Rainbow Fish'

The story loved by millennials everywhere might have a flawed message.

If all you remember of "Rainbow Fish" were those holographic scales, you're not alone.

Few children’s books are as deeply ingrained into the collective millennial psyche as “Rainbow Fish.” After all, what’s not to love about those oh-so sparkling rainbow scales and heartwarming lesson about how sharing leads to happiness far better than selfishness will. Only, according to some…that’s not the story’s lesson.

In a video posted to his TikTok, Fifth-grade teacher Mr. Vương admitted that while the illustrations were, in fact, great, and the author probably had “good intentions, he still “didn’t like” the story behind this award-winning classic.

For those who never read the book, or perhaps forgotten, Vương explains that at the beginning, “Rainbow Fish is full of himself because when all the other fish wanted to play with him, he sort of swam past them and thought he was better. Then one of the fish asked for one of his scales and he refuses.”

This is where Vương feels the book missed the mark, since the book depicts drawing a boundary to be Rainbow Fish’s character flaw (more on that later).

“In my opinion, I think he has the right to do that because he doesn't have to give up part of himself or anybody,” Vương.

The real flaw, Vương argues, “was that he was not humble.”



Vương goes on to say that in the book, when Rainbow Fish said no, all the other fish decided not to play with him, which “made it more about how all the fish didn't accept him because he didn't give up his scales rather than them responding to his stuck-up behavior.”

Also in the book—the wise Octopus advises that Rainbow Fish overcome his pride and give up all but one of his scales to the other fish. He might no longer be the most beautiful fish in the sea, but he is finally happy. Thus bringing in the moral of the story of sacrificing vanity for peace.

“So he got acceptance…when he gave up parts of who he was…” Vương declares matter-of-factly.

Vương’s hot take seemed to resonate with a few other adults who thought the Rainbow Fish had lost its luster over time.

““Rereading it as an adult now, it made me angry. Little fish has the audacity to ask for a shiny scale, Rainbow Fish says no, so little fish goes and bad mouths him to all the other fish so they all turn on him and only become his friends when he gives up a part of himself,” one viewer wrote.

“I feel like the book had more of a ‘sharing is caring’ moral and just carried out the message in a weird way with the scales” another said.

One person even quipped, “…and now I know where I learned to be a people pleaser from. Thanks FYP.”

But still…the holographics scales are pretty neat…right? *cries in millennial*

It’s worth noting that regardless of his own personal opinion of the book, Mr. Vương still uses it to “teach about how to think critically about themes.”

“I opened up with what the theme was and then I read the story without telling them my opinion,” he says. “Then the kids made all these connections themselves and some of them looked at it through the lens of, ‘Oh it's selfishness.’ And some of them were like, ‘Wait, is he buying his friends?’”

Not only that, but the class had “really good discussions” about transactional relationships, as well as dissecting what the author's original intent might have been. They will also be creating their own alternate endings, “where the theme is not that you gotta, you know, pay for your friends,” as the last part of their assignment.

While not everyone might share Vương’s opinions on this kid’s book, we can probably all agree on his stance that “just because it has an award-winning sticker on it, it does not make it top-notch.”


This article originally appeared last year.