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The winners of the Underwater Photographer of the Year contest were announced and they are incredible

From rare river dolphins to abandoned aircrafts, there's an entire world to explore just below the water's surface.

underwater photography
Kat Zhou/UPY 2023 (USA), Shane Gross/UPY 2023 (Canada)

There's an entire universe down there.

Space might be considered the final frontier, but right here on planet Earth, entire universes remain unexplored beneath the water’s surface.

Every year, the prestigious Underwater Photographer of the Year contest highlights stunning images from all over the world that offer a small glimpse into this mysterious world, reminding us of its breathtaking beauty, fascinating wildlife and—perhaps most important of all—the need to respect and care for its resources.

American photographer Kat Zhou won the title for 2023. (Technically, she also won Up & Coming Photographer of the Year—way to go, Zhou.) Her image of a rare Amazon river dolphin, captured at the perfect moment of smiling while poking its nose out from under the water, rose to the top in a sea of 6,000 entries. Due to river contamination and being killed or injured by fishermen, the species is listed as vulnerable in certain areas by the World Wildlife Organization, making this apparently happy interaction all the more impactful.

As judge Alex Mustard wrote, “In dark, tannic waters, Kat has created a striking composition capturing this rarely photographed and vulnerable species at the perfect moment…By far the best image we've ever seen of this species.”

Zhou also explained the river dolphin’s folklore in her entry.


Underwater Photographer of the Year 2023 Winner: “Boto Encantado” by Kat Zhou (USA)

Brazilian Amazon

river dolphin

“Boto Encantado” by Kat Zhou

Kat Zhou/UPY 2023 (USA)

“There’s a legend among locals in the Amazon that river dolphins, or 'botos,' can transform into handsome men known as 'boto encantado' at night to seduce women. Though I did not witness this elusive boto transformation, at dusk I was enchanted by these beautiful mammals in a different way. After seeing how botos would sometimes bring their beaks above water, I knew I want a split shot at sunset. Though the water was so dark that I was shooting blind, this dolphin gave me a perfect pose and smile!

As indigenous communities settled by rivers in the Amazon, river dolphins began living in closer proximity to human populations, even making use of food scraps. Frequent dolphin sightings led to tales like boto encantado, but there’s a darker side to the legend, as it was often used to excuse pregnancies after women were assaulted or forced into prostitution. While botos are generally revered as mythical creatures, many scorned husbands have killed dolphins because of these stories. Furthermore, many river dolphins have also been killed for use as fish bait. Though there have been bans on this practice, it has not been eradicated. With this, alongside even bigger impacts like mercury poisoning due to the gold mining industry and large development projects that have disrupted the river ecosystems, I fear that one day botos will truly become no more than mythical creatures.” – Kat Zhou

Take a look below at the winners from other categories:

Wide Angle Winner: “Fade” by J. Gregory Sherman (USA)

Stingray City, Cayman Islands

stingrays

“Fade” by J. Gregory Sherman

J. Gregory Sherman/UPY 2023 (USA)

“My dive partner and I chartered a boat to arrive at Stingray City on Grand Cayman before dawn so as to capture the morning light and undisturbed sand ripples. Just as the sun broke the horizon, a line of southern stingrays headed straight for me and I captured this image as they glided across the sand. Using a large dome port allowed me to create a split image showing the intensely colorful dawn sky contrasted against the nearly monochromatic stingrays and sand beneath the surface chop.” – Gregory Sherman

Wrecks Winner: “Engine with a Saddle” by Brett Eldridge (USA)

Point Loma, California

wrecked planes

“Engine with a Saddle” by Brett Eldridge

Brett Eldridge/UPY 2023 (United States)

“We were out scanning targets in June when we saw a very small, but promising sonar blip 230 feet deep. I geared up and jumped in hoping for something special. After some searching, my heart started racing when I first saw fish then the propeller of an almost completely intact, single-engine WW II airplane! It turned out to be a F8F-1 Bearcat, a rare aircraft that Neil Armstrong famously once said was his favorite and has been described as 'An Engine With a Saddle.' Alone on the first dive with limited bottom time, I took enough photos to build a 'draft' model and identify the wreck. Needing a better photogrammetry model for the UPY contest and with deadlines quickly approaching, I booked December 19th and crossed my fingers. We fortunately had epic conditions and I got the photos I needed. It was my last dive of 2022.” – Brett Eldridge

Behavior Winner: “Make Love Not War” by Yury Ivanov (Indonesia)

Tulamben, Bali

octopus

“Make Love Not War” by Yury Ivanov

Yury Ivanov/UPY 2023 (Indonesia)

“A couple of coconut octopuses 'making love' (mating). I knew that I can find this species of Octopus at one of dive sites near Tulamben village (Bali, Indonesia) and they are active only at night time in that place. I dive there only after 7pm hoping to photograph something unique – their mating. I've done more than 30 night dives at the dive site and finally I got lucky. The photo shows the end of their love.” – Yury Ivanov

Portrait Winner: “The Trunk” by Suliman Alatiqi (Kuwait)

Phuket, Thailand

elephant

“The Trunk” by Suliman Alatiqi

Suliman Alatiqi/UPY 2023 (Kuwait)

“The elephant's trunk is one of the most distinctive anatomical features in the natural world and this photo aims to emphasize it. Luckily, he was curious about my camera and was happy to feel it out which gave me the opportunity to capture this perspective despite otherwise bad conditions for an over-under photo (choppy water and poor visibility). In my first attempts, the nostrils were not fully lit because of how close they were to the lens (which was necessary for the intended photographic effect). So I returned at a specific time window when I thought the sun’s angle would be optimal and managed to fully light the nostrils. This added a lot more detail to the key part of the image without which the photo would not be as effective.” – Suliman Alatiqi

Save Our Seas Foundation Marine Conservation Photographer of the Year 2023 Winner: “Hopeless” by Alvaro Herrero (Spain)

Baja California, Mexico

whale

“Hopeless” by Alvaro Herrero

Alvaro Herrero/UPY 2023 (Spain)

“A humpback whale dies a slow, painful and agonizing death after having its tail entangled in a ropes and buoys, rendering its tail completely useless. A reflection of what not only our oceans are suffering, but also our planet, the product of man's selfishness and lack of responsibility. Taking this photograph was, for me, the saddest moment I've experienced in the ocean. Especially because I have spent so much time with humpbacks underwater, experiencing eye contact, interactions, and seeing with my own eyes how they are sentient and intelligent beings. But I'm 'happy' to being able to capture that moment and show the world what is happening, what we are doing. I really hope this image make us aware , open our eyes and drive us in to make real changes.” – Alvaro Herrero

Black & White Winner: “El Blanco – The White One” by Don Silcock (Australia)

Península Valdés, Argentina

whale photos

“El Blanco – The White One” by Don Silcock

Don Silcock/UPY 2023 (Australia)

“The image was taken on the last morning of a five-day trip to Peninsula Valdés in Argentina, in August 2022, under a special permit to enter the water with the Southern Right Whales that gather there between June and December each year. The mother, who can be seen in the background, accepted our presence and allowed the calf to interact with us. It was very playful but careful not to hit us with its tail and seemed to be really enjoying it all – almost as much as we were! White calves are very rare and referred to locally as 'El Blanco' or the white one!

Peninsula Valdés is an incredibly important safe haven and breeding ground for the Southern Right Whales of the southern Atlantic and Argentina has done an excellent job of managing it. It was, without doubt, my best ever underwater experience!” – Don Silcock

Compact Winner: “Klunzinger's Wrasse In Motion” by Enrico Somogyi (Germany)

Marsa Alam, Egypt

underwater photography

“Klunzinger's Wrasse In Motion” by Enrico Somogyi

Enrico Somogyi/UPY 2023 (Germany)

“When I was snorkeling in Marsa Alam I saw countless Klunzinger's Wrasses. One of them was particularly curious and very interested in my lens. I was able to take some good classic wide angle pictures. After a while I figured it would be a good idea to try a long exposure. So I set my camera to the smallest aperture f11, the ISO value to 64 and the exposure time to 1/13s. For this picture, I moved the camera forward a bit while the shutter was released. This created the zoom effect in the lower part of the image. I was very happy with the result.” – Enrico Somogyi

Macro Winner: "Unsung" by Shane Gross (Canada)

Location: Vancouver Island, Canada

baby fish photograph

“Unsung” by Shane Gross

Shane Gross/UPY 2023 (Canada)

“Walking along a rocky shoreline we would peer under rocks using a probe lens and my camera's LCD screen to check for plainfin midshipman nests. Once found I would lay on top of the barnacle-covered rocks, cutting my elbows, trying to compose images of fish most people have never heard of despite having one of the most interesting lifecycles of any animal. Plainfin midshipman are deep water fish that travel to the intertidal zone to spawn. The males sing to attract females and she will lay as many eggs as his singing deserves before moving on to the next singer. Now, the male has a chance to fertilize the eggs, but only if he is not beaten to the punch by a sneaker male who looks like a female. The singer male will then guard the nest never knowing the kids may not be his. Drama!” – Shane Gross

There are even more incredible images swimming around on the UPY website. You can even download a free yearbook featuring all the winning images and their captivating stories here.

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service

A German man explains why smiling at strangers in public is weird in Germany

Americans have such an interesting reputation internationally, but one that seems to give our nationality away in Germany is our habit of smiling. That's not to say that Germans don't smile because of course they do! But they don't smile while passing strangers on the street or use it as a social nicety.

Some may consider the constant smiling that many Americans do as fake or disingenuous because it's not part of their cultural norms. Dominik, a German man who runs the YouTube channel Get Germanized, explains that Americans may be taken aback by the lack of smiling by German citizens in public settings.


In America, it's considered polite to smile when greeting people or even when entering a place of business while passing another customer. It's a social norm that signals to the other person that you're acknowledging them. Sometimes this can be followed by a good morning or a thank you if the person in question held the door. There are places in the country where this is not as prevalent, but even in large cities where everyone seems to be in a rush, smiling still seems to be an understood custom.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling girl chatting outdoors with a friend.Photo credit: Canva

Cultures vary from state to state, so it's no surprise that German social niceties are different than those in the U.S., Dominik explains, "Smiling is social lubricant everywhere else. [In] Many cultures, especially English-speaking ones, smiling is a social default. You smile at strangers. You smile to soften social interactions. You smile even when you don't mean it. It's a universal, friendly, 'I'm harmless' gesture. In Germany, that's suspicious. People will think, 'Why is this person smiling at me?'"

He goes on to share that the German smile is rare because it is only used when they're familiar with the person and are genuinely happy or amused. According to Dominik, a German offering up smiles to random people could "feel fake, intrusive, or overly familiar." It can also be seen as nervousness, insecurity, or manipulation. Germans don't smile to soothe the discomfort of themselves or others. Instead, their faces remain neutral until they experience an emotion that would elicit change.

"German communication is built on honesty. Not just in words, their body language too. If they're tired, you'll see it. If they're annoyed, you'll feel it. If they're happy, they'll show it, but only when they actually are. No forced cheerfulness. No plastic service smile. No, 'How are you? Fine,' dance. It's refreshing once you get used to it. Like taking off a mask you didn't know was there," Dominik says.

The no-smiling cultural norm extends to the service industry in Germany. Customer service employees are there to solve the customer's problems, not to be entertaining. Dominik explains that Germans trust professionals who look focused while working. Even on public transportation, no smiling is going on between commuters; people mind their own business. They're not unfriendly, they're respecting your space." Dominik shares.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling warmly in a cozy sweater, feeling relaxed and happy.Photo credit: Canva

The German culture enthusiast assures viewers that Germans smile a lot, but it's reserved for friends, families, and cute puppies. They also smile at people they like, so it's not that Germans think Americans are strange for smiling; their cultural norms are just different.

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.


"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.


Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

Friendship

Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive

"It's such a simple and effective way to show love..."

friendships, hangouts, friends, organizers, adult friendships, how to stay friends,
Photo credit: Canva, alvarog1970 from alvarostock (main image) / anlomaja (text box)

People think this post-hangout question can be a friendship game-changer.

It's not always easy to maintain close friendships as an adult. Everyone's busy and to some degree exhausted, and free time is scarce. So how do we maximize our friend time? And how do we reach out without looking too pushy? A regular person offered a suggestion: asking one thoughtful post-hangout question that's made their friendships "so much stronger."

It's pretty simple: "When's the next time I'll see you?"


Here's their logic: "You're showing enthusiasm for seeing your friend again, reassuring them you had a good time, and planning the next time you'll see each other all in one go," they wrote on Reddit. "Obviously this requires the friend to reciprocate, but it's such a simple and effective way to show love that has had consistent, lasting effects on my friendships. I don't typically say this to new friends; it's for people that I'm confident I want consistently in my life."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Their trending post earned hundreds of replies, as people weighed in with their perspectives.

One person appeared to echo the OP's sentiment, talking about the importance of having a "chooser" in friendships—someone who will take on the role of making plans. "'Be a chooser' is the best advice I ever received," they wrote. "People want to hang out, but very few want to make the decision to hang out and organize it. Be the chooser…people will follow."

In reply, someone added, "I'm the planner and the calendar friend. For a long time, I took it so personal that no one else really planned things. But actually, people appreciate this. If they didn't, they'd make excuses to not hang out or would just say no instead of enthusiastically agree."

Here are more interesting comments, including some with a different perspective:

"This works because it removes guesswork"

"I have a group of girlfriends from college that get together every month for brunch, and most of them are also in a book club with me. At the end of each hang, whether it's brunch or book club, we get our calendars out and plan the next one. Occasionally we skip a month if there's a ton of conflicts, and not every person makes every single hang, but they happen very regularly and have been happening regularly for about 2 1/2 years now. We're all late 30s-mid 40s with careers and (in their cases,) spouses and families. 10/10 everyone should do this!"

"It rules that this works for you! I have to say, if someone asks me this, unless we're super duper bestest friends I'm just gonna say, 'hopefully soon- let's talk!" and not much will change. Seeing friends is more of a time issue than a desire issue IMO. Even if we want to plan things, we're busy a lot."

friendship, happiness, adult friendships, staying close with friends, friendship dynamics Two friends hugging. Photo credit: Canva, mododeolhar from Pexels

"I see the usefulness of this, but also I think this would low-key give me a panic attack if I just got done hanging out with someone and they wanted to plan the next one. I'm fully prepared to believe this is a 'me' thing"

"Agree with you in spirit but phrasing it that way puts a lot of pressure on them to figure out a date in advance, and some people don't like to plan far in advance."

"Instead I usually go with something like 'what's our next thing?' Easier for another person to figure out what something is than when on the spot"

"I love this because it shows intention without being clingy. So many friendships fade just because no one makes the next step explicit. This feels simple, warm, and very human."

"If this isn't your speed, you can also text them the next day. This works well for anxious people because it also sends them an affirmation/aftercare if they are worried about the hangout."

"This works because it removes guesswork. Clear interest plus a next step keeps friendships from fading by accident."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Focus on the reception"

While some people felt the question could come off as pushy, the OP clarified their stance with a few key points: they don't ask it every time they see someone, particularly people they see often, and they always make sure to read the room. They continued, "You do NOT do this after an exhausting event, or with people who do not like planning. Sometimes it's a conversation opener; others it's a time to pull out the calendar. This works well for busy people who also like consistent quality time. If that is not you, that's okay."

While every friend dynamic is unique, it's natural to feel like you're constantly initiating hangout plans.

Friendship coach Danielle Jackson explored this idea in a 2021 YouTube video, explaining that there are three key things you can do if you feel like the "giver" in a relationship: give the other person the "opportunity to initiate," reframe how you view their contributions, and "focus on the reception" rather than the initiative. "At the end of the day," Jackson says, "it's less about who's asking and more about who's saying yes."

- YouTube www.youtube.com