+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy
Health

This woman’s viral Twitter thread about men NOT assaulting her is a must read

We need to hear more stories like this.

college sexual assaults, harassment, assault, real-life encounters
via @behindyourback / Twitter

Maura Quint shares about men responding appropriately.

This article originally appeared on 10.02.18


For anyone who thinks stories of sexual harassment and assault are complicated, writer Maura Quint has a story for you. Actually, she has quite a few.

Quint posted a thread on her Twitter account that quickly went viral in which she talked about a number of real-life encounters with men that started out sexual, involved her expressing disinterest, and the men responding appropriately.

It wasn't an unrealistic hero's tale of men handing over the keys to their autonomy. Rather, Quint's incredible thread made it clear that the only variable in cases of assault vs. non-assault are when a man doesn't respect the autonomy of the woman he's propositioning.

Her thread opens up in an all-too-familiar tone, where we're led to believe it will go to an incredibly dark place:

date rape, Maura Quint, respect

Maybe?

via @behindyourback / Twitter

Instead, Quint says her indifference to his proposition was met in kind with a guy just acting in a basic, non-rapey way:

honorable, educated, respectful

Should be expected.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

She goes on to offer several other examples of being in sexual or potentially sexual situations with men who also managed to not sexually assault her:

women, real men, character

Annoyed but with character.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

responsibility, honorable, equality

Meeting the right instead of wrong person.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

And here's the real kicker, Quint says she has been assaulted. To her, the difference isn't hard to pinpoint:

role models, parenting, raising good people

Difference being whether they were okay with assault.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

Her thread has been re-tweeted nearly 50,000 times and "liked" more than 100,000 times. Other women and some men jumped in with their own tales of drinking, partying and still, somehow, managing to not assault or even harass the women they encountered.

honesty, fairness, behavior

She married him.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

social norms, civic duty, public responsibility

Men avoid abusers too.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

love, kindness, consciousness, respectful

Kind and human.

via @behindyourback / Twitter

It's a stark contrast to the half-baked defenses of Brett Kavanaugh and other men like him. There are incredibly rare exceptions where a man is accused of assault or harassment and he is entirely free of guilt. But for women, or anyone for that matter, who has survived sexual assault or experienced sexual harassment, there is no "gray area."

There's being OK with assault and then there's everything else. Whether or not we're consciously aware of this, we've all chosen a side. But if you're on the wrong side, it doesn't have to be that way forever.

From Your Site Articles
women
Health

Psychologist explains why everyone feels exhausted right now and it makes so much sense

Psychologist Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling and it makes perfect sense.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

It seems like most people are feeling wiped out these days. There's a reason for that.

We're about to wrap up year three of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on.

Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Despite the fact that COVID-19 is still wreaking havoc, we've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.

But why?

Keep ReadingShow less
psychology
Joy

People share the quirkiest things their pets do and it's both hilarious and heartwarming

We asked our people to share their pet's weirdest antics and our audience delivered.

Photo by Daniel Sandoval on Unsplash

Silly doggo.

Pets are good for many reasons, from companionship and comfort to security and snuggles. But they can also be highly entertaining members of the family.

One saving grace during the pandemic was getting to spend lots of time with our pets and witnessing all of their silly, quirky antics all day long. How many times have you wished you could hear what was going through your cat or dog's brain as they do things that defy logic. The cat who likes to chew on people's hair while they sleep—why? The dog who spins around in a circle ten times before relieving themselves—why?

The reason animals do what they do may be a mystery, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable to hear about their silly habits. We asked our Upworthy audience to share the quirkiest things their pets do, and people delivered big time.

Keep ReadingShow less
pets
Family

Single mom's advice for anyone with sons on Thanksgiving is a must read

She was shocked by the amount of reactions—both good and bad—that her viral tweet ignited.

Canva

One single mom went viral for encouraging parents to let boys help with the holiday cooking

Last year, single mom Emily Taylor made some sound Thanksgiving advice that is still great food for thought.

As Taylor shared with Today.com, she had been talking with another parent, one who had two adult sons, when they argued that “boys can't stay in the kitchen all day like girls can when helping with Thanksgiving stuff.”

Taylor was, as she put it, “flabbergasted,” and continued to ponder that comment until she was compelled to share her own thoughts on the subject.

Keep ReadingShow less
kids
Internet

The interesting reason British and Australian people sing in North American accents

It happens to other English speaking people from other countries too.

Dave Huxtable|YouTube

The reason British and Australian people sing in American accents

Music is something that crosses all barriers, including the language barrier. It's so much easier to learn songs in a foreign language than it is to actually learn the language itself. But there's something interesting that happens for people who normally speak with an accent when singing. Suddenly their accents are gone.

Some of the biggest singers in America didn't grow up in the United States and yet when they sing, they do so with an American accent. Lewis Capaldi, Ed Sheeran, Adele and Harry Styles to name a few, are all from England with the exception of Capaldi, who hails from Scotland. They're some of the most popular singers in the world but their speaking accents are drastically different than their singing accents. But why is that?

Dave Huxtable, a language coach explores why singers who aren't from North America, sing as if they are in a video uploaded to his YouTube channel.

Keep ReadingShow less
british singers american accents
Family

Woman fed up with wasteful holiday 'giving' proposes a new way to celebrate the season

"Gifting in America has become insane. So I’m changing my ways."

via Cottonbro Studio/Pexels

A woman buying gifts for her nephews.

After becoming fed up with the material nature of the holiday season, a Redditor who goes by Somanycatsinhere, shared how she is putting her money towards things that matter rather than mindlessly buying gifts. Even though everyone's situation differs, the post is an excellent reminder that we don’t have to give someone a store-bought gift reflexively. Instead, we can focus on getting something they actually need.

“I’m over buying gifts to be thrown away or donated,” she started her post. “I decided I’m done.”

The Redditor explained she usually visits her family a few weeks before the holidays for a joint Thanksgiving and “Early Christmas” celebration, and this year, she took a different approach to gift-giving.

“I made a visit to my sister with my 3 amazing nieces. … The kids have everything they can need or want: toys and clothing-wise—and it’s all so overwhelming. The kids don’t even play with most of it. It’s just piled up everywhere,” she wrote.

Keep ReadingShow less
holiday gifts
Democracy

The night before his murder, JFK became the first president to meet with Latino leaders

The historic meeting was overshadowed by the horrors of November 22, 1963.

via Cecil Stoughton. White House Photographs. John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston

President John F. Kennedy and First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy greet attendees of a dinner held by the League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) at the Rice Hotel in Houston, Texas. Master of Ceremonies, John J. Herrera, stands at far right; Mariachi musicians play at left.

November 22, 2023, will mark the 60th anniversary of one of the most horrific moments in American history, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The anniversary has been greeted by a host of new documentaries and renewed interest in the conspiracies surrounding the assassination.

One historic moment from Kennedy’s short but consequential presidency occurred on the last night of his life, Thursday, November 21, 1963. That night, Kennedy, his wife Jacqueline, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, and his wife, Lady Bird, visited a formal dinner in Houston, Texas, held by LULAC — the League of United Latin American Citizens. The event featured a welcoming party of Mexican-American World War II veterans, including Medal of Honor recipient Macario García.

Keep ReadingShow less
john f. kennedy
Trending Stories