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This viral post of women getting honest about how they judge each other is a must read.

Most of us, if we live long enough, learn the truth in the saying, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes."

A Reddit user asked, "What was a decision or choice you judged/didn’t understand until you went through it yourself?" and people had a heyday responding. From getting divorced, to being homeless, to staying in abusive relationships, the answers can teach us a lot about seeing other with a non-judgmental eye.

Here are a few of the karma lessons users shared:

Many people said they now understand why their parents always seemed boring, tired, or cranky.

Mousetronaut35813 wrote, "As a kid I never understood why adults complained about being too tired to do stuff, or wanting to do seemingly boring shit like watch the news and read newspapers, or just not wanting to do anything. Why not come play with us kids? I don't even have my own kids yet and I'm already doing the same stuff lol. I'm sorry I ever got upset at adults being 'too tired to play.'"

Another user, meckyborris, said they now understand why their parents always seemed so cranky. "I never understood why my parents were mostly always so irritable. But now, being on the other side, I know that bills, unexpected expenses racking up the credit card, cooking a meal that barely gets touched, repeating yourself 1,000 times, and basically everything else that has to do with being a parent and adult can really piss a person off lol."

[rebelmouse-image 19397911 dam="1" original_size="960x960" caption="Image via Julie Maida." expand=1]Image via Julie Maida.

A number of people said that they understand why people let go of their ambitions and embrace mediocrity.

A comment by homeschoolpromqueen summed up what many others said about how they used to judge people who weren't striving for more than an average life, but now see that mediocrity has certain merits:

"As a teenager, I was very judgmental of the adults who were just kind of 'meh'—as in, they were basically normal, middle class, bill-paying adults, but they didn't really have much spark or ambition to them. They just went to their boring jobs, phoned it in for another day, got back in their Camry, and drove home to their crappy tract houses to watch mindless TV until bedtime.

As an adult, I get it.

At some point, we all realize that we aren't going to be astronauts, and that we've already climbed the corporate ladder as high as it's going to take us. Sure, we could uproot our entire lives and risk everything we've spent the last decade-plus working towards, but why? So we can buy a marginally nicer Camry and tract house?

There's a lot to be said for a relatively easy, comfortable life."

[rebelmouse-image 19397912 dam="1" original_size="659x288" caption="Screenshot via Reddit. " expand=1]Screenshot via Reddit.

Another user, keakealani chimed in with the reality of what "following your passion" can look like:

"As someone who 'followed my passion' (classical singer), I get it too. I love what I do and really value the privilege of getting paid for what a lot of people see as pointless art, but every so often I fantasize about going back to school and going into a more 'practical, boring' career with stability and benefits.

It's a very tough balance. I don't think I would actually go through with it, but I totally understand why people do, and I work with many many people who sing as a hobby with a 'real job' to pay the bills, which is absolutely a valid option."

Sadly but not surprisingly, many people expressed an understanding of why people don't come forward after an assault.

The repetitive question of "Why didn't they come forward sooner?" after someone speaks out about a past assault has been answered a million times, but many who haven't experienced it still don't get it.

Reddit user CSQUITO wrote: "Not talking about harassment and sexual assault or not reporting it until it was too late... now I’m in that position. I used to never understand why people didn’t report straight away and I thought it was stupid."

Another user, rev9of8, said, "I'm male but I was physically assaulted by a manager (unprovoked, without warning and whilst I was defenceless) at work - an assault for which there was multiple witnesses.

The company not only let him get away with it, they then proceeded to engage in a campaign of bullying, threats, harassment, intimidation and smears intended to silence me and to cover-up what happened. They had me blacklisted and managed to turn everyone I knew against me.

Everything that was done to me ended up utterly destroying my mental health and left me profoundly traumatised. I fully understand why people choose not to come forward."

Others chimed in with their own stories of assault reports being ignored,—or worse. For example, systolicfire shared: "I was 17 and was sexually assaulted at work by a coworker who was 23. I was too scared about my parents finding out so I didn’t pursue anything legally but I hoped he’d at least get fired or something after I reported it. Nope, my workplace didn’t even GIVE HIM A WRITE UP. He was still allowed to work with me. Only one of the managers kept him from me, and that manager was the one I initially reported it to within minutes of it happening. Then when I warned my other female coworkers, I was told by a manager that that would make me look bad. I definitely understood why things go unreported so often."

Sharing these kinds of questions and answers can help us be less judgmental, but also help others know they're not alone.

The whole post on Reddit is worth a read, not only to open our eyes to how many ways we might be judging unfairly, but also to show us that so many others may be going through the same thing we are. Understanding is one of the greatest gifts we can give our fellow humans. When people share stories and experiences openly, it broadens our understanding of one another and helps us all feel less alone in our struggles.  

Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.









Friendship

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they can walk her dog, and the dog wrote back

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they can walk her dog, and the dog wrote back

via Stevieticks / Instagram

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well.

When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her.

They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog.

"If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream) we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.

"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote.

"Yours sincerely, The boys form number 23," the letter concluded.

via Jack_McCrossan / Twitter

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. Although it may have been written by her human, Sarah.

In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans."

(The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)

"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued.

via Jack_McCrossan / Twitter

A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie

"Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"


Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era when sometimes neighbors are strangers.

"In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said.

She hopes to have the boys over for beers in the near future so they can hang with Stevie at her place.


This article originally appeared on 12.18.19

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Wellness

A woman with dementia adored her haircut. Her husband's letter to the stylist is everything.

"Looking back, it was likely dozens of haircuts you gave that day. But one which revitalized a woman's sense of self and her singular beauty."

Image by Michelle Maria from Pixabay, Sara Verkuilen/Instagram

Grab a tissue, folks, because this is one of those stories that has almost too much love and goodness to bear in it.

Sara Verkuilen was working at Hair Cuttery in Round Lake Beach, Illinois last winter when an older couple walked in for a haircut. "I don't think I had ever done their hair before," Verkuilen told Upworthy. "They were walk-ins."

The man and his wife were "just really cute together," she recalled. "He was so sweet with her and obviously very in love."

Little did Verkuilen know how much of an impression her personal service and professional skills would have on both them that day.

The stylist shared a letter she received recently from the husband, signed only as "a grateful customer." The letter reads:

"Dear Sara,

This is a little bit awkward. But I've waited a really long time to pass this on to you.

My wife and I came in for haircuts shortly before Christmas of last year.

My wife was suffering from dementia, and you treated her as if you'd been working with dementia patients all your life. You let us sit next to each other, and when it came time for her cut you turned her chair towards me so I could watch her expression as you cut her hair.

It turned out even better than I thought it would.

Sadly, she died in March. And that haircut was one of the last, best moments of her life. She felt so pretty. She visited the mirror in her bathroom several times during the day and would come out beaming.

To see her so happy was priceless.

Looking back, it was likely dozens of haircuts you gave that day. But one which revitalized a woman's sense of self and her singular beauty. I hope you always realize the power of your profession.

It's so easy to take things like that for granted.

Sincerely,

A grateful customer"

Verkuilen said she wishes she could contact the man.

She doesn't remember the couple's name and the letter didn't give any personal information, but it meant a great deal to her to receive it. She says she'd been feeling kind of stuck and bored in her career, which she's been in about eight years, and this letter gave her the boost she needed.

"Receiving this letter was a huge reminder why I do what I do," she said. "It's an amazing feeling seeing someone look in the mirror after a transformation and smiling. Seeing how beautiful they feel, how confidence levels change. But it's an extremely difficult career. I get burnt out easily. I hope this letter can restore faith in other stylists that are maybe doubting if this career is right for them. We touch more than hair and I hope all the stylists out there realize how important they are and how what we do can have such an impact on our clients."

She also hopes seeing the letter helps clients understand that stylists don't "just cut hair."

What a beautiful reminder to appreciate people who work in service jobs, the little things that make us happy, the "singular beauty" of our loved ones, and the time we have with them.


This article originally appeared on 7.10.20

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Woman's viral tweet about her mom's new boyfriend inspires a thread about second love

Love is...real 😍😍😍

'Love is a battlefield' indeed. They say you have to kiss ~~at least~~ a few frogs to find your prince and it's inevitable that in seeking long-term romantic satisfaction, slip ups will happen. Whether it's a lack of compatibility, unfortunate circumstances, or straight up bad taste in the desired sex, your first shot at monogamous bliss might not succeed. And that's okay! Those experiences enrich our lives and strengthen our resolve to find love. That's what I tell myself when trying to rationalize my three-month stint with the bassist of a terrible noise rock band.


One woman's viral tweet about a tacky mug wall encouraged people to share stories about second loves. Okay, first things first: Ana Stanowick's mom has a new boyfriend who's basically perfect. All the evidence you need is in the photograph:


People were impressed by the boyfriend's embrace of her hobby, which is collecting some of the funkiest mugs this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, not all male partners are so supportive. Some of those 'male partners' include our literal dads. Luckily, the stories shared had happy endings. Love is possible!






The mug collection itself is iconic, tbh.


Bystanders were also curious about the stuffed frogs pictured. A mom who has TWO off-kilter collections? We stan.





This article originally appeared 6.15.19 and was published on SomeeCards. You can read it here.

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School responded to a parent's book complaint by reading it aloud to the entire student body

What possible issue could a parent have had with this book?

Jess Piper/Twitter

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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