In Nigeria, there is a woman known as "The Iron Lady." And how she earned that nickname is a lesson in perseverance.
Her real name is Zainabu Abubakar and she lives in a society where women don’t work, let alone hold a leadership position. But you know what? She did both.
All images via Zainabu Abubakar, used with permission.
She started working as a nurse because she wanted to help improve the health of her community, especially the health of women and children. After that, she formed a small team to start educating people about sanitation, but they only had a small amount of money to do their work. Then, in 2009, after securing a bigger budget and more staff thanks to the support of their state governor, Abubakar's passion for helping others led her to bigger things.
She was appointed to be the new director of the Water, Sanitation and Hygiene Department (WASH) in Bakori, a local government area in Katsina State, Nigeria.
"The Iron Lady" doing work.
She's the first woman to ever hold that position.
Of course, her appointment was met with opposition by people who were not comfortable with a female leader, but that didn't stop "The Iron Lady" one bit.
"The one thing I have learned is that people believe mostly what they know," says Abubakar. "They never believe that you can change attitudes."
But as director of WASH, Abubakar is proving that you can change people's attitudes by simply walking the walk.
She is tackling one of the biggest problems affecting the people of Nigeria: open defecation.
"Most of our people, they are not hygiene-conscious," she says. "They don't know that not having good environment or clean environment is very important."
Abubakar (left) always leads by example.
A 2016 WaterAid report for World Toilet Day states that a staggering 130 million people in Nigeria still don't have access to a safe and private toilet. This, in turn, contributes to the 46 million people that practice open defecation, spreading serious diseases such as typhoid and cholera and severely contaminating the water supply.
It's estimated that over 44,000 Nigerian children die every year because of diarrheal diseases and 1 in every 23 Nigerian women will lose a baby due to an infection.
But with "The Iron Lady" leading the way, more and more communities are learning proper health and sanitation practices.
"When you want people to do things, you have to do it so that people will learn from you," says Abubakar. "You are not dictating to them. What you are trying to make them understand is that this is good for them. And [if] they agree that it is, they practice it."
The students at a local school learning proper hygiene for Global Handwashing Day.
Through her innovative Community-Led Total Sanitation (CLTS) project, for example, she educates and shows different communities what proper hygiene and sanitation really is — from washing your hands the right way to using the toilet to sourcing your water efficiently. This, in turn, inspires communities to build proper facilities on their own and, more importantly, change their way of doing things.
Abubakar's success rate is the stuff of legends: In less than six years, she has transformed close to 90% of the communities that she oversees to certified open defecation free (ODF).
When "The Iron Lady" speaks, everyone listens.
"I have 428 communities in my local government. In all these communities, people know me. One — I help women. Two — I help children," adds Abubakar. "I always strive for others to see that in the community I visit."
On top of that, she's empowering local women to confront inequality.
In fact, she started a loan program with the government to help aspiring working women gain access to the resources they need to succeed.
"Before now, women don't sit where men are. And men don’t agree for women to be together with them," says Abubakar. "But now, every community you go, there’s a mix of the men and women and they’re working [together]."
Changing people's attitudes is no easy task, but it's what drives Abubakar forward.
"You have to be tolerant. ... We sit with people, we discuss, we ask them their problems, and they’ll tell you," adds Abubakar. "Honestly speaking, changing people is the most happiest thing, I believe, in my life."
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.