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Well Being
When should you ditch your doctor? Why I fired my psychiatrist and never looked back.
08.06.20
Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash (left), Kimberly Zapata (right)
Picking a psychiatrist is a precarious situation, one I know all too well. I have bipolar disorder, depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I have been in and out of therapy for nearly 20 years. And while I have left doctors for a wide variety of reasons—I've moved, I felt better and "been better," I've given up on pharmacology and stopped taking meds—I've only had to fire one.
The reason? She was judgemental and disrespectful. In her office, I wasn't seen, heard or understood.
To help you understand the gravity of the situation, I should give you some context. In the spring of 2017, I was doing well and feeling good, at least for the most part. My family was healthy. I was happy, and life was more or less normal, so I stopped seeing my psychiatrist. I decided I didn't need my meds.
But by the summer, my mood was shifting. I was cycling (which occurs when bipolar patients vacillate between periods of mania and depression) and when I suffered a miscarriage that fall, I plunged into a deep depressive episode—one I knew I couldn't pull myself out of.
<p>I called my psychiatrist to make an appointment. She put me in the books for later that week. But then I got a call back. </p><p>"I'm having an issue processing your payment. Has your insurance changed?"</p><p>It had. My carrier had changed over the summer, but I didn't think much of it. Insurance providers change all the time. But this change, I learned, was problematic.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Kim, but we don't take United Healthcare."</p><p>I was gutted. I had worked with the same psychiatrist for years. She knew my family, my story and my backstory. With her, I could be honest. She put me at ease. But now, I needed to find a new doctor—in the midst of depression, while moving through life in a fog, a haze. </p><p>I called more than two dozen numbers. Some doctors were not accepting new patients. Others had exorbitant wait times. I was given an appointment four months in the future. But most never called me back. I pled and left messages but my phone never rang—at least not until <em>she</em> called. Not her receptionist or her office manager, but the doctor herself.</p><p>To say I was excited would be an understatement. I assumed Dr. W's responsiveness was a sign of her devotion and dedication. She must be very committed to her patients. Plus, she was close by. I had an appointment less than two miles from my home the following week. </p><p>But my enthusiasm ended then and there.</p><p>During our first session, Dr. W suggested that when my meds were balanced out I would have a more "normal" appearance—and normal hair. My bright pink locks offended her. She said I should consider a more natural color. I should consider going back to my roots.</p><p>During our second session, she asked what my husband thought about my piercings and tattoos. Yes, I have a lot, but she asked this in 2017, not 1967. My husband's opinion shouldn't matter. It <em>doesn't</em> matter. Plus, these were my appointments. These sessions were supposed to be about my mental health. And each appointment thereafter was riddled with put downs. She constantly criticized me, my relationship and my appearance. </p><p>But that wasn't my breaking point. I decided to fire my psychiatrist when I told her I was having suicidal thoughts and she dismissed them. When she called in (yet another) prescription—one with a higher dose.</p><p>Of course, psychiatrists prescribe medication. That's their job. That is what they do. But the problem wasn't medication per say, it was the fact that I thought my antidepressants were causing said thoughts and she wrote me off. She said such side effects were <em>very </em>rare. She also told me it was all in my head. I just needed to breathe. To relax. To "take my meds."</p><p>I walked out the door that day feeling helpless and hopeless. </p><p>I walked out the door that day and never went—or looked—back.</p><p>That said, there are several reasons why you should fire your psychologist, psychiatrist, and/or therapist. Some medical professionals are dismissive, while others are overly supportive. Some seem distant and distracted. They rush you and lack interest in—and concern for—your life. And some relationships are just not meant to be. Comfort and rapport is key.</p><p>You also may need to find a new doc if and when you stop progressing because growth is everything. Good therapists challenge you. According to <a href="https://www.katielear.com" target="_blank">Katie Lear</a>, a licensed clinical mental health counselor in private practice in North Carolina, good doctors support you. </p><p>"A good mental health practitioner always makes sure that their client feels safe," Lear says. "You may feel challenged, vulnerable, or even a little defensive, but never unsafe or uncertain about your trust in your provider."</p><p>That said, there is also no one-size-fits-all answer for what makes someone a good therapist.</p><p>"Studies show time and time again that more than any particular skill set, the relationship and trust between therapist and patient is the most healing part of therapy treatment," Lear explains. </p><p>Christene Lozano, a certified sex addiction therapist, licensed marriage & family therapist and the founder of <a href="http://www.merakicounselingservices.com" target="_blank">Meraki Counseling</a> providing online sex therapy in California and Oregon, agrees.</p><p>"While there are many factors that go into making a good therapist, such as the therapist's training and expertise, one of the most important components is the relationship between the client and their therapist," says Lozano. "While there can be many excellent therapists out there, they all won't be a good fit for the client. It is somewhat similar to dating: There are some awesome people in the world, and all those people may not be the best romantic partner for you." </p><p>So how do you find your best match? Through research, trial and error. Getting recommendations can also help.</p><p>As for me, I have an excellent psychiatrist today—one whom I trust wholly and completely. One I trust with my life. And the reason is two-fold: He is educated, qualified, empathetic and sympathetic. He also listens. So please know you are worth it. Your life is worth it. Your health and happiness matters, and it's okay to set boundaries, even with psychiatrists and other mental health professionals.</p>
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Photo from Dole
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As you sit down to eat your breakfast in the morning or grab an afternoon snack, take a minute to consider your food, how it was made, and how it got to your plate.
The fruit on your plate were grown and picked on farms, then processed, packaged and sent to the grocery store where you bought them.
Sounds simple, right?
The truth is, that process is anything but simple and at every step in the journey to your plate, harm can be caused to the people who grow it, the communities that need it, and the planet we all call home.
For example, thousands of kids live in food deserts and areas where access to affordable and nutritious food is limited. Around the world, one in three children suffer from some form of malnutrition, and yet, up to 40% of food in the United States is never eaten.
<p>In addition, the plastic packaging used to transport and store your food is made with fossil-fuels, which emit greenhouse gases and contribute to climate change. Then, that packaging is tossed away, <a href="https://foodprint.org/issues/the-environmental-impact-of-food-packaging/" target="_blank">ending up in landfills</a> or as litter into our environment and waterways. </p><h2>It's easy to feel overwhelmed thinking about all of this, but here's the good news: some companies are working to change all of this.</h2><p>They're working towards environmental sustainability, while still providing nutritious foods to everyone. One of those companies is Dole Packaged Foods.</p><p>There is a Japanese philosophy called <a href="https://sunshineforall.com/en/mission" target="_blank">Sampo Yoshi</a> that states that all businesses should have a Three-Way Satisfaction: it should be beneficial to the customer, the seller and society. This is the philosophy that inspired <a href="https://sunshineforall.com/en/our-promise" target="_blank">The Dole Promise</a>.</p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEKvHbjihN/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEKvHbjihN/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;" target="_blank"> <div style=" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div></div></div><div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;"></div><div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style=" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;"> View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"><div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style=" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"></div></div></div></a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEKvHbjihN/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank">When we treat the planet better, everything else gets better too. And while we may not have all the answers, we're committed to learning how to get there. Learn more at the link in our bio.</a><br> A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/dolesunshine/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px;" target="_blank"> Dole Packaged Foods 🍍</a> (@dolesunshine) on Jun 30, 2020 at 8:59am PDT<br></div></blockquote> <script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script></div><h2>Dole, together with their <a href="https://sunshineforall.com/en/partnerships" target="_blank">partners</a>, promises to work towards <a href="https://sunshineforall.com/en/our-promise" target="_blank">six goals</a> that will make their business not only good for them, but also for the people who eat their food and the planet as a whole.<br></h2><p>Here are the promises:</p><ol class="ee-ol"><li>By 2025, they will contribute to good nutrition for 1 billion people by helping improve education around nutrition. They'll also increase the affordability and availability of their products. This will help combat malnutrition rates and food deserts.</li><li>They pledge to reach zero fruit loss on their farms by 2025 in order to combat food waste.</li><li>They commit to use zero processed sugars in their products by 2025.</li><li>They are moving towards eliminating fossil fuel-based packaging, like plastics, by 2025.</li><li>They are working towards carbon neutrality by 2030 by using 100% renewable energy in their processing facilities and by reducing their greenhouse gas emissions.</li><li>They promise to value all of their stakeholders equal opportunity and increased benefits to everyone who works for them.</li></ol><p>But they don't stop there. </p><p>Dole will also be donating $10K each to help further the missions of youth activists who are working to combat food waste, plastic packaging, and food access, including Josh Williams who founded <a href="https://joshuasheart.org/" target="_blank">Joshua's Heart Foundation</a>, the Angeletti siblings that started <a href="https://back2earth.io/" target="_blank">back2earth</a>, and Melati Wijsen, the 19-year old founder of <a href="http://www.byebyeplasticbags.org/" target="_blank">Bye Bye Plastic Bags</a>.</p><div class="rm-embed embed-media"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B6vseQvn2mL/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B6vseQvn2mL/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;" target="_blank"> <div style=" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div></div></div><div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;"></div><div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style=" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;"> View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"><div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style=" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"></div></div></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"></div></div></a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B6vseQvn2mL/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by back2earth (@back2earth)</a> on Dec 31, 2019 at 9:30am PST<br></div></blockquote> <script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script></div><p>The end game of The Dole Promise is simple: bring "sunshine for all." Not only will it mean more nutritious food for you, but their entire business will strive to do good for communities all around the world and the planet as a whole.<br></p><h2></h2><h2></h2><p><em><strong>To learn more about Dole, the Dole Asia Holdings group of companies, and their goals for better nutrition and environmental sustainability, visit </strong></em><a href="http://sunshineforall.com" target="_blank"><em><strong>SunshineForAll.com</strong></em></a></p>
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Comedian Keraun Harris shares inspiring story of his traffic stop being recorded by a white woman
08.05.20
Keraun Harris, who goes by the name King Keraun, is a popular comedian on social media who's appeared as an actor on HBO's "Insecure" and ABC's "Black-ish."
On Monday, he posted a video on Twitter sharing the story of how a white woman had his back during a recent traffic stop.
"I just got pulled over, and for the first time, I watched a white woman record my whole traffic stop," she said.
<p>Harris was pulled over in his neighborhood for not having official license plates on his car because it was new. "As a black man you're used to this, you always guilty until proven innocent," he said.</p><p>"I'm just sitting in my car waiting and as I'm waiting, I look to the left and I see this car parked and it's a white woman in the car," he continued. The white woman had her phone out, recording Harris' interaction with the police to ensure his safety.</p><p>At first, Harris wasn't sure what to make of her, but when he saw that she looked concerned, he realized that she was being an ally.</p><p>"As a black man, you're not used to your allies," Harris said. "But we really got allies now."</p><div id="0ef88" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="873566f9b332f470225b41b11372093a"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1290428862870913024" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I just got pulled over and for the first time i watched a white women record my whole traffic stop . https://t.co/BolkS8K9rj</div> — The Mad King (@The Mad King)<a href="https://twitter.com/Kingkeraun/statuses/1290428862870913024">1596497190.0</a></blockquote></div>
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Nature
Caesar the 'no drama' therapy llama has been keeping protesters and police calm in Portland
08.06.20
Therapy animals have become a controversial issue of recent, even though they've helped over 500,000 people overcome psychological and physical issues that have made it difficult to perform everyday tasks.
It's because countless people have tried to pass off their pets as service animals, making it hard for legitimate, trained animals to gain acceptance in public.
So when people hear about emotional support llamas, they're met with understandable cynicism. However, studies show they are great at helping children with autism spectrum disorder, and they are routinely used to cheer up people residents in retirement homes.
<p>Llamas are calm, have plush fur perfect for petting, and large, empathetic eyes. Llama owners <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/14/well/live/llama-therapy-nursing-homes-elderly-seniors-hospitals-pet-therapy.html" target="_blank">will tell you</a> their pets have a sixth sense about people who are needy, ill or frail.</p><p>One emotional support llama has been helping cool down some of the most heated streets in America.</p><div id="d058b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8104c8c93fbd4478ec4f1c27d420d6ef"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1269487279589842944" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Caesar the no drama llama attended our protest today and I just love this photo of him lol https://t.co/aasCUqTGok</div> — Princess Rebel Scum (@Princess Rebel Scum)<a href="https://twitter.com/caffeineandpix1/statuses/1269487279589842944">1591504328.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Caesar the "No Drama Llama" and his caretaker, Larry McCool, have been marching in Portland Black Lives Matter protests and he's been a calming influence on both demonstrators and the police.<br></p><p>Who in the world wouldn't be comforted by 350 pounds of pure fluffy bliss?</p><p>"Everyone seemed really happy to have him there, even those who were confused by his presence," Caitlin Reasor, who spotted Caesar at the peaceful protest, <a href="https://www.the-sun.com/news/940273/picture-therapy-llama-portland/" target="_blank">told The Sun</a>, "he was definitely a good morale booster."</p><p>Demonstrator Nakaycha Dent added: "Everyone was immediately all smiles as soon as they saw him galloping past. Everyone was shocked there was a llama, but you could definitely feel the positive vibe he brought to the crowd.</p><p>McCool agrees that Caesar can be an oasis of chill in situations that can easily become heated.</p><p>"They'll be clapping, chanting, stomping, and all of a sudden I'll get up with Caesar and the next thing I know, everyone will just band around Caesar," McCool told <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/08/05/therapy-llama-caesar-no-drama-llama-diffuses-tension-protests/" target="_blank">The Washington Post.</a></p><div id="58281" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="55b7d5782b7472d17b6c6e5ec1231c07"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1291096050363559937" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">This made me smile, this is Caeser the no drama therapy llama who gave hugs to protestors in Portland, Oregon.… https://t.co/kd7FJFrNYk</div> — krupali (@krupali)<a href="https://twitter.com/krupali/statuses/1291096050363559937">1596656260.0</a></blockquote></div><p>The 6-year-old Argentine grand champion show llama has been a comforting presence to police as well.<br></p><p>"I don't care how big, how staunch, how intense that somebody is — it could be a big marcher in total riot gear, and he will come up and give Caesar a big hug," said McCool. "It's all I can do to just keep him from snuggling."<br></p><p>Caesar and McCool have attended 10 Black Lives Matter protests in Portland this year and, over the years, have been to over 50 protests in support of a variety of civil and environmental causes.</p><p>They also regularly visit retirement homes to cheer up elderly residents. </p><p>McCool has owned the Mystic Llama Farm for over 20 years and cared for dozens of Llamas. But when he met Caesar in 2015, he knew there was something different about him. </p><p>"He's a magical creature," McCool said. "I wish I could take some credit for him, but he's developed all on his own. I've been his tutor and his guide, but sometimes I'm the one following him."</p>
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