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traditions

Screenshots via Vakisla Milliner

Dad gives son chess piece at college drop-off, now everyone's crying

Many families have traditions that they've always done. Some of them have been passed down for so long that they have no idea where or why the tradition started. But some families don't have traditions at all or if they do, they don't feel like significant things that should continue with the next generations. While some family traditions are started on accident, some are much more intentional and they have to start somewhere.

A proud mom captured the emotional moment that her husband started a family tradition with their oldest son. The parents were recently dropping their first child off at college, likely ahead of football camp. Right before the final goodbyes, the dad pulls out a gift for the new college student. It looked to be a large wooden king chess piece but before giving it to his son he explains the reason for the gift.

college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter Checkmate in progress on a sunlit chessboard.Photo credit: Canva

The emotional exchange between father and son was uploaded to social media by the boy's mother, Vakisla Milliner. It has more than 400K views and over 4,000 comments from heart-warmed viewers. In the caption of the video Milliner writes, "We took our oldest son to college last weekend! I had the honor and pleasure of capturing a moment between a father and his son. Filled with raw and unfiltered emotions! They didn’t know that I was capturing this beautiful moment! A king always has a move and this here was a King a move"

On the hood of the car there's a University of Miami duffle bag where the father pulls the chess piece from before starting to explain the seemingly odd gift to his son.

college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter "College Ahead" sign against a clear sky.Photo credit: Canva

"My father didn't get to bring me to college, dog," the dad starts. "This is a king," he ekes out through the emotions clearly welling up in his throat, "this is a king, cause you're a king and whenever you feel like the world is coming down on you and ain't sh*t going your way, take your time, sit back and think bro cause you always have a move, protect the king. It means protect yourself. We don't have tradition in a lot of Black families so I'm starting one with you and then your brother."

The tearful dad tells the boy that the king that he's holding is his and he needs to protect it. He shares that he's been hard on his son due to people underestimating the young man's abilities as he was always the smallest on the team. The dad explains that his toughness was to get his son to that moment–college. Later in the video the dad tells his son that he would like for the college student to continue the tradition when his own children go off to college. Though many tears and several hugs, the video ended with the son taking the chess piece to carry with him and remind him of the promise he just made to his father–protect the king.

@vakislamilliner5

True definition of a Blackman being present and intentional! We took our oldest son to college last weekend! I had the honor and pleasure of capturing a moment between a father and his son. Filled with raw and unfiltered emotions! They didn’t know that I was capturing this beautiful moment! A king always has a move and this here was a King a move ! Feel free to share make it go viral Blackmen are present! #king #YoungKing #thoseashenafiboys @Amenemhet

People were moved by the proud moment that not only sent a first born off to college but started a new tradition, one person writes "As soon as dad teared up, the tears fell immediately! This was beautiful!"

Another shares, "Dad to dad, I’m in tears. You made it son!!! Make that man proud. Be good, stay in school man. That man loves you bro. God bless you son."

"I can’t stop crying parenting is a thankless job but the most rewarding when you see what they grow up to be, bless him" someone else cries.

college drop-off; family traditions; college; college move-in; traditions; dads matter Smiling student with backpack and book outdoors.Photo credit: Canva

"This speaks volume to ANY ethnic background! We need to speak LIFE into this world’s youth!!! THEY hold the key to the future!!! BE THE KING AND NOT THE JOKER!" a fellow dad writes.

"This was so powerful. I love when men show raw emotion. What a beautiful moment to share!" a commenter shares.

Another dad chimes in "Dad to dad, you have done an outstanding job! I hope when my kids are older i can be as strong and amazing as you just showed right now."

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Kraft Family Greatly

Every week, American parents feel an average of 23 pangs of guilt over their parenting. For Casey Fitzner, she's lost count.

As the mom to twins, she was plagued by questions and worries from day one. How do you take care of two kids at once? What do you feed them? Where should you raise them? How do you make sure they grow up to be happy?

All images courtesy of Casey Fitzner, used with permission.


The pressure also came from the fact that she felt there was only one right answer to every parenting question.

“The media gives moms the impression that there’s only one way,” writes Casey in an email.

For her, that one way seemed like the “suburban dream,” complete with a two-parent household, a minivan, and a tidy suburban home. It was a lot to keep up with — and now, as a recently divorced mom of three, she thinks back to how hard it was to let go of that dream.

For example, Casey remembers when she had to leave her youngest son’s first tee-ball game. She’d imagined it as a perfect day, but the divorce was fresh, and it was the boys’ father’s day to spend with them.

“I was a mess... I cried all the way to the car,” Casey shares.

With time, Casey realized that her push for perfect parenting came from emotions like fear, shame, and guilt. That realization changed everything.

That image of the suburban dream just didn’t fit Casey’s family. What’s worse, she felt awful while trying to achieve it, following rules that didn’t even make sense for her life.

The only “rule” Casey needed to follow was to throw out the rulebook, and focus on what’s best for her own family.

And what’s best for her family, she realized, is to embrace what makes them happy — even if it’s a little unconventional.

These days, Casey and her sons, 7-year-old Charlie, and the twins Ben and Colin, who are now 10, enjoy activities like a regular full moon drum circle celebration. Her mother, who’s 82 years old and doesn’t act a day over 60, moved in last year.

Their lives are nothing like she once imagined they would be, and she wouldn’t dream of returning to her old standard of perfection.

This is a family “filled with free thinkers, creatives, and people who are proud to be a bit different,” she says.

For example, young Charlie is already emerging as an artist, making paper models. Casey loves seeing him at his happiest, when he’s creating.

The family’s creativity comes out at holiday time, too. With a small family, they don’t spend the holidays in a big gathering, like you see in the movies. Last year, they celebrated Thanksgiving with a turkey buffet dinner, a stay at a hotel, and a cannonball contest in the hotel pool.

“We were fed, we had a blast, and we all felt loved,” remembers Casey.

And that matters more to them than any tradition.

Casey knows that she’ll never achieve what she once considered perfect parenting – and now she realizes that’s a good thing.

And she's far from alone. Here are several other parents who couldn't agree more.

The Fitzners may have different traditions than other families, but their traditions show their love for one another, and that’s what’s important.

Since every family is different, there is no one way to be a great parent. With so many parents feeling the pressure to be perfect (one national survey shows it's 8 out of 10) it’s clear we could use more reminders that we’re not the only ones with unique ways of being a family.

“Nobody is perfect. Nobody,” says Casey. “But my kids are perfect for me and I think I’m the perfect mom for them.”

Sometimes, she says, being “perfectly imperfect” is the best way to be, and that’s a lesson she’s teaching her sons.

These days, Casey and her family live in a city, instead of a suburban dreamhouse. The boys have been enjoying a giant pile of blankets, stuffed animals, and pillows instead of keeping the house immaculately tidy.

But they’re having a great time, and they’re making Casey laugh, so it’s just right for them.

No matter how unconventional your family is, doing what works for your family is the absolute best you can do.

So if you’re feeling the pressure to make everything perfect this holiday season, just remember how Casey and her family create their own joy — and then go out there and create a little of your own.

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General Mills

Do you have a favorite holiday memory?

For me, one in particular stands out. I was about 15, and it was another hot, island Christmas (I grew up in the Virgin Islands, so Christmas was always over 80 degrees, and every day looked like a postcard). My mom, sister, a chunk of my family, and I went over to my gran’s house to spend time with her and with each other, ushering in the season.

Gran had made her famous homemade eggnog (for which she refused to give away the recipe). The entire family crowded into the kitchen for our serving before moving to the patio, where we watched the sun go down while drinking eggnog, arguing about music, and debating the merits of Mariah Carey.


That memory is what the holidays mean to me. Everyone being together, laughing, and celebrating the season and that we’d almost made it through another year.

The gazebo in downtown Frederiksted, St. Croix, all decked out for the holidays. Image via iStock.  

The holidays mean something a little bit different to each of us, but in the kitchen and around the dinner table, we make some of our favorite memories.

General Mills has been around for 150 years and knows a thing or two about food and the holidays. They asked a few of their blogger fans to share their favorite holiday traditions, and one thing was pretty clear: Food and family are key ingredients for many of us during the holiday season. Their sweet memories — which many of us can relate to — will give you all the holiday feels.

1. Like cookie-decorating extravaganzas that each generation of kids loves.

The great cookie decorating tradition continues with Liz's kids. Image used with permission.

Liz, author of the blog Eat Move Make, remembers she and her siblings helped their mom to decorate holiday treats.

"My mom would bake cut-out cookies, and we'd decorate them. ... We took our little works of art seriously! It was so fun to find the ones we knew we had made. I distinctly remember the crunch of the colored sugars as I'd take a bite," she wrote on her blog.

"I still use the same recipe and decorating technique with my own kids since it's such a fond memory, and my kids insist to this day that those cookies be a part of their tradition every year as well."

2. And then there's the playful squabbles that take place every holiday between the same two family members.

Myrah (also know as the "Coupon Mamacita") recalls her parents' playful bickering each year as her dad attempted to carve the turkey.

Myrah and her parents in front of the Christmas tree. Image used with permission.

Myrah's dad would give carving his best effort, and her mom would poke and prod at him, pretending to be upset with his efforts. She'd tell him, "You’re ruining it!" while he asserted "It’s fine. Let me do it, " Myrah recalls on her blog. "All the hand waving that went with it was so comforting and warming to me. It was a tradition that made me smile as I watched them have their annual 'war.'"

3. Baking for Santa is a tradition that can never grow old.

Stephanie, who blogs as The Tiptoe Fairy, cherishes the moments spent with her kids baking pastries for Santa and family friends.

It's all hands on deck as Stephanie and her kids bake holiday treats. Images used with permission.

"Our favorite holiday tradition is baking together," she shares on her blog. "My  kids love helping me bake. Every year, we make tons of baked goodies for their teachers, friends, and my husband’s coworkers. We also always bake something yummy for Santa to enjoy while he’s leaving gifts. Each year I come up with something new. This year it’s Brownie Stuffed Crescent Rolls. One of these fresh out of the oven is just melt-in-your-mouth heavenly.”

4. And there's nothing like savoring a treat while the family gathers around the Christmas tree.

For Heather, author of the blog Who Needs a Cape, nothing compares to her family's picture-perfect Christmas mornings in front of the tree.

Heather's delicious apple crescent ring, a Christmas morning favorite in her family. Image used with permission.

"As cliche as it is ... Christmas morning is always just my husband, me and our kids (ok the dog is there this year too)," Heather writes. "I LOVE just spending the majority of our day in our jammies. Kids ripping through presents, my husband and I with coffee watching ... we open our gifts after the kids are off playing with whatever new thing is the best. I make something EASY but super yummy [like her apple crescent ring]. It's easy and delish and everyone in my family loves a fancy treat for Christmas Morning!"

What's your favorite holiday tradition?

Whether it's time spent relaxing with your family, stealing food off each other's dinner plates during a shared meal, or swapping stories from the past year and hopes and dreams for the year to come, we wish you a wonderful holiday.

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General Mills

Have you ever gone to Christmas Mass at 4:30 in the morning? For nine days straight?

I did once.

You wake up at dusk, walk to church, run into people you don't see a lot, sing holiday songs half-awake, and when Mass is over, you usually eat traditional street food.


It's all part of a holiday tradition in the Philippines called "Simbang Gabi" or "Night Mass."

I grew up in the Philippines, and let me tell you, Simbang Gabi is an institution there. Plus, the Christmas season starts the moment we enter the "ber" months (yes, Christmas songs start playing in September), so it's only fitting that Christmas Mass should last over a week.

In the Philippines, there's no shortage of decorations come Christmas time. Image by Patpat Nava/Wikimedia Commons.

When I did it that one time, I wasn't a huge fan. (Granted, I was an 11-year-old kid who preferred playing PlayStation to going to school, so really I didn't like anything non-PlayStation-related.) In fact, I never did the full nine days again. I'd go to one, maybe two. Some years I didn't go at all.

But as I got older — and especially since I moved to the U.S. — I started to miss it over the holidays. I realized just how special those moments were and how they brought me closer to the people I love.

Luckily, Simbang Gabi has made its way around the world, allowing many Filipinos abroad to feel closer to home.

A Simbang Gabi celebration at the Los Angeles Cathedral. Image (cropped) via Beyond Forgetting/Flickr.

Aileen Yosuico, coordinator of Simbang Gabi at St. Jane Frances de Chantal in North Hollywood, remembers very well how it all started at her particular parish — with a group of parishioners who just wanted to continue a tradition.

"It started out as just one evening Mass instead of the early morning Mass, held between the 15th and 23rd of December," writes Yosuico in an email. "This year, instead of just one Simbang Gabi Mass, we will start observing the 9-day Christmas Novena from Dec. 16-23rd at 5:30am."

Traditionally, a Simbang Gabi Mass can start anywhere between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. No, that's not a normal hour for most people to go to Mass. But remember, this isn't a normal Mass.

The choir at St. Jane Frances de Chantal dressed in traditional Filipino garb. Image via Jonathan Soriano, used with permission.

"The Mass starts with a procession of lanterns, children carrying poinsettia flowers and the singing of traditional Filipino Christmas carols," adds Yosuico. "Everyone in attendance is encouraged to wear the traditional barong or Filipiniana garb. After the mass, a reception of traditional Filipino food follows at the gym and is accompanied by a program of song and dance numbers, raffles and games."

The choir getting ready for Simbang Gabi. Image via Jonathan Soriano, used with permission.

Even better, other cultures have caught on to the celebration. And of course, being Filipino, we welcome them with open arms.

Today, over two dozen churches in the area surrounding St. Jane's have started their own Simbang Gabi as well, opening the celebration to all communities looking to add something special to their Christmas spirit.

Dr. Maria Ruby Minosa, one of the Simbang Gabi committee members at St. Jane's, notes in a separate email, "We are a loving people and welcome with wide arms all colors of humanity. The way we celebrate is always like a party."

And really, who doesn't love a good party?

It's all about bringing people together. Image via Jonathan Soriano, used with permission.

"I think when the other cultures see how happy and loving we become during our Christmas celebration, they want to experience it as well," writes Minosa.

At the end of the day, that's what Simbang Gabi is all about — community, celebration, and becoming closer with one another.

I didn't realize it when I was younger, obviously, but everything Simbang Gabi stands for is a big part of who I am as a person. It also symbolizes what makes holiday traditions in general so special for millions around the world. After all, what better time to come together and open your hearts to the people around you?

And while you're at it, why not make it a party?