Every week, American parents feel an average of 23 pangs of guilt over their parenting. For Casey Fitzner, she’s lost count.
As the mom to twins, she was plagued by questions and worries from day one. How do you take care of two kids at once? What do you feed them? Where should you raise them? How do you make sure they grow up to be happy?
The pressure also came from the fact that she felt there was only one right answer to every parenting question.
“The media gives moms the impression that there’s only one way,” writes Casey in an email.
For her, that one way seemed like the “suburban dream,” complete with a two-parent household, a minivan, and a tidy suburban home. It was a lot to keep up with — and now, as a recently divorced mom of three, she thinks back to how hard it was to let go of that dream.
For example, Casey remembers when she had to leave her youngest son’s first tee-ball game. She’d imagined it as a perfect day, but the divorce was fresh, and it was the boys’ father’s day to spend with them.
“I was a mess… I cried all the way to the car,” Casey shares.
With time, Casey realized that her push for perfect parenting came from emotions like fear, shame, and guilt. That realization changed everything.
