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perseverance

Parenting

His daughter crashed on a skate ramp. His response was a masterclass in awesome parenting.

He perfectly balanced empathy, encouragement, and empowerment.

Photo credit: Canva

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to react in the moment.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

 good mom, good parenting It's always good to see examples of stellar parenting.  Giphy GIF by ABC Network  

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. In 2022, he was teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared an exchange he had with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Watch:

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuck-asaurus" video in which she offered delightfully colorful commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

 skateboarding girl, skateboard dad Practice makes perfect.  Giphy  

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

 dad on skateboard, kids skating, parenting Parents often set the tone for how kids react.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

 courage, parental encouragement Encouragement is part of how kids gain courage.  Giphy Schitts Creek GIF by CBC 

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's ongoing family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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After a traumatic injury, one athlete refused to quit and powered on to help others.

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Nature Valley

Roy Tuscany had spent most of his life on the slopes, training in the hopes of one day competing in the Olympics.

The only Vermonter in his family to develop a love for skiing, he knew it would become his destiny. He focused his entire life around the sport and moved west to Lake Tahoe, where he could teach kids and train.

But one day, his ambition got the best of him — or so it seemed. He ignored what he taught his students and hit a jump on new skis while the snow was harder and the wind was stronger.

High Fives founder Roy Tuscany in Vermont. Photo by Brooks Curran.

The allure was too strong to consider any of the above, drowned out by the call of the sensation of the flight, the distance, and the perfect jump. 

Going 130 feet on a 100-foot jump, the impact onto ground instantly paralyzed him from the belly down, and he lost motor skills, sensation, feeling.

When your entire life is about mountain sports, a paralyzing injury isn’t something that keeps you off the slopes — no matter how traumatizing the experience. Swearing off skiing just wasn’t an option. "I knew I didn't want to sulk, and I knew the next move would have to change for me to stay on this path," he says.

Roy Tuscany. Photo by Generikal Design.

Tuscany was surrounded by a network of not just medical professionals, but personal friends, family, and community members who supported his recovery on all levels every step of the way.  

He underwent multiple surgeries, including the insertion of two rods, eight screws, and two plates placed in his back to stabilize and support his spine, followed by Achilles-tendon-lengthening surgery on each ankle that would allow his feet to be flat.

Roy Tuscany in recovery. Photo via High Fives Foundation.

But just learning to ski again wasn’t enough. He wanted to do more.

His traumatic injury became the catalyst that caused him to offer a hand to other athletes who had experienced the same.

Determined to pay forward all the support he had received, he created a foundation to raise injury prevention awareness for athletes who have experienced life-altering injuries. They also provide rehabilitation services and financial support for medical treatment.

High Fives athlete at Adaptive Waterski Camp. Photo by High Fives Foundation via GoPro.

In addition to helping with rehabilitation, the foundation gives athletes a bit more knowledge through its educational program to help prevent another accident  

"For a long time, parents told us we supported daredevils who get hurt, so we created this presentation to help them make better choices," Tuscany says.

A High Fives athlete at the foundation's rehab facility. Photo by Elevated Image Photography.

Known as the BASICS program (an acronym for Be Aware Safe In Critical Situations), the curriculum highlights some of the most frequent but commonly disregarded key safety measures athletes make, like listening to your intuition instead of your ego and increasing your speed without being aware of the consequences.

It's a presentation they travel the country to deliver in person, and it can also be viewed online, with over 225,000 views to date.

Even the name Tuscany chose — the High Fives Foundation — reflects the positivity he received.

One day, after a specific surgery, he held up his hand for his doctor, who had just told him it went well, to slap it.

High Fives members. Photo by Generikal Design.

"After that, it was always high-fives all around because it’s impossible to give a high-five and not feel an exchange of positivity," Tuscany says.

The High Fives Foundation officially got off the ground in 2009.

To date, it has helped 159 athletes from 31 states get rehabilitated and back out there.

The first athlete the foundation helped had been hurt in a skiing accident. The foundation raised $25,000 in its first year — largely through word of mouth — enabling them to offer that skier personal training, a gym membership, ski lessons, and equipment to help get him ready to hit the slopes again.

"We started with [that] one program, an empowerment fund, and were able to grow," Tuscany says, "so that when insurance says 'no,' we say 'yes,' when they suffer life-altering injuries, even if it’s from a car accident."

Military to the Mountain participants on the slopes. Photo by Generikal Design.

At the adaptive camps, athletes who live with permanently altered abilities can take part in the sports they love.

This includes water skiing, surfing, and mountain climbing.

High Fives has also started a program for veterans who have been wounded in the line of duty.

They are given nine weeks of group training for skiing and snowboarding and a full week to hit the slopes. "Individuals volunteer once a week because they’ve built relationships and friendships with members of the staff," Tuscany says. "These guys have the biggest hearts in the world."

Athlete Jeff Andrews and Roy Tuscany. Photo by ClarkBourne Creative.

One snowboarder particularly grateful for the support is Jeff Andrews, who became paralyzed from the middle of his sternum downward.

The High Fives Foundation was there for him during his entire recovery. The organization also sent him on a trip to Hawaii, where he was able to learn to surf. And this experience was transformative for him — giving him a new goal to strive for: become the best surfer he could be.

And three weeks ago, Jeff decided he wanted to go to the U.S. World Surfing Championships.

He won first place in the U.S. Adaptive Division, proving that it’s not just ice or snow that can be healing.

Photo by ClarkBourne Creative.

Folks with disabilities, with little to no function, can move a little in ocean water, according to High Fives's founder.

"The motion is magnified by, like, 100," Tuscany says. "These little twists out of the water are moving. It’s such a positive rush. All of a sudden, your foot and legs are moving."

In addition to the unique "human-care" component that sets it apart from some similar organizations out there, the High Five Foundations Empowerment Grant paves the way for each individual to find their own path back to action.

"We bring everyone into our Ohana, a super powerful term in the Hawaiian culture to define family," Tuscany says. "When you care about the human, the results are endless in their pursuit."

Update 8/15/2017: The share image was changed.

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When life hit them hard, these 4 Olympians persevered and hit back even harder.

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Paramount Pictures Ben Hur

It's no secret that we all have obstacles we need to overcome in life.

There will always be ups and downs. That we know for sure. But, sometimes, unexpected lefts and rights pop up and try to throw us even more off track. When those types of moments hit, that's when our resolve is truly put to the test.

That's the type of perseverance on full display at one of the world's most celebrated sporting events — the Olympic Games. For years and years, athletes go through blood, sweat, and tears for a few precious moments of pure competition. If anything, that struggle to achieve greatness is what makes sports so dang beautiful.

But some members of Team USA had to endure a few extra hurdles on their way to glory.

Meet four amazing athletes who are incredible examples of perseverance.

And if their trials bring to mind any challenging experience you've gone through — athletic or otherwise — Paramount would love for you to share your story on social media with the hashtag #MyGreatestVictory. It's in honor of their upcoming movie, "Ben-Hur," the story of an iconic character who never gave up despite facing enormous challenges.

1. Lopez Lomong, track and field

Photo by Paul Merca/Wikimedia Commons.

As one of thousands of refugees known as "The Lost Boys of Sudan," Lopez Lomong was kidnapped by soldiers and imprisoned in a brutal camp when he was only 6 years old. They were going to force him to become a child soldier.

With the help of some friends on the outside, Lomong managed to escape. He ended up running for his life for three days and three nights toward a refugee camp in Kenya — a place where he would live for 10 years.

Eventually, Catholic Charities got involved and helped Lomong move stateside. Once he got here, he started running again. But this time, it was to represent his new homeland. He became so good and such an inspiration that, at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, he was honored as the flag-bearer for the United States.

Eight years later, Lomong is still running as strong as ever.

2. Kayla Harrison, judo

Screenshot via Olympic/YouTube.

At the 2012 London games, Kayla Harrison became the first American to win gold in judo. Her journey there, however, started off with a heartbreaking circumstance.

In an interview with ESPN, Harrison opened up about how she was sexually abused for years by her coach, Daniel Doyle, when she was just starting out in the sport. The abuse left deep emotional scars and led to thoughts of suicide.

With support from her mom and a psychologist, Harrison moved to Boston to train in a new environment and, in the process, channeled her experience to become an absolute force to be reckoned with — both on and off the mat. In addition to being a badass athlete, she started a foundation helping other survivors of sexual abuse.

Harrison told ESPN, "There's nothing in this life that's going to be harder than what I've been through already. I may lose. But no one will break me."

Come this August, the entire country will be rooting for her to repeat her Olympic success.

3. Jillion Potter, rugby

Screenshot via World Rugby/YouTube.

Jillion Potter is the definition of perseverance.

In 2010, while playing for Team USA, she got into a fluke accident and broke her neck in a game against Canada. Doctors said she would never play again. But you know what? She came back as strong as ever.

But then another tragedy hit in 2014. She was diagnosed with soft tissue cancer and needed both chemotherapy and radiation to treat it. Again, it didn't stop her from competing in the sport she loves so much. With the support of her loved ones, she beat cancer and was just recently announced as a member of the 2016 team.

In an interview with CNN, Potter sums everything up by relating her experience to her sport: "You get tackled, you always have to get up off the ground, just like in life."

Well said, Jillion!

4. Daryl Homer, fencing

Photo by Marie-Lan Nguyen/Wikimedia Commons.

Daryl Homer is trying to make history by becoming the first American male to win gold in fencing. But he also acknowledges that history isn't quite on his side.

He told the Richmond Times-Dispatch, "I’m from the Bronx and most people from the Bronx aren’t fencing. On top of that, most people don’t see African-Americans fencing. On top of that, there’s still the perception Americans aren’t the leaders in the fencing world."

But none of that has slowed down Homer one bit. Throughout his life, he's persevered to become the absolute best — in life and in fencing. He's a fighter and one that won't back down from a challenge.

In a piece for The Player's Tribune, he said, "To most people, I probably don’t look like a fencer. But on the strip, none of that matters. It’s two people facing off for survival."

These athletes are shining examples of the power of the human spirit.

They dedicated themselves to their ultimate goal and never let any roadblock steer them away. And even if they don't medal at the upcoming games, there's no question that they've already achieved victory.

Have a perseverance story of your own? What are some of the victories you've experienced in your own life?

In honor of Paramount's newest film, "Ben-Hur" — a timeless character who knows a thing or two about determination — Paramount is asking for people to share their stories about rising up and overcoming adversity. They'll share their favorites on their social media channels.

Share the moments, big or small, where you were able to overcome adversity and persevere, with the hashtag #MyGreatestVictory.

Family

Meet the fitness model using his scars and artificial heart to inspire people.

It was just like any other daily run for Andrew Jones. He put one foot in front of the other. He breathed in. He breathed out. He made it to the mailbox, but he knew something wasn't right.

"It kind of felt like my lungs had turned into sponges. Like I was breathing through a sponge."

That bizarre feeling first happened in 2012. And it would change his life forever.

Andrew Jones. Image via ajFitness/YouTube.

Labored breathing would alarm anyone, but for Andrew, an avid runner and fitness hound, it was particularly worrisome.

After his run, he called his doctor and requested to see someone right away. Two specialists and 24 hours of heart monitoring later, Andrew was diagnosed with viral cardiomyopathy.

"I didn't really know much about what it meant," Andrew said. "I was still very strong, getting my workouts in at the gym like normal, just being young and feeling invincible."

Andrew at his gym. Photo courtesy of Andrew Jones.

So after that one troubling run, Andrew kept working out. But his symptoms started getting worse.

Andrew, now 26, has loved the gym since college. He found an unexpected home there and noticed that regular workouts kept him focused and disciplined. "The best way to explain it is that being active is in my blood," he said. 

But soon his fatigue and shortness of breath turned into pain and weakness that left him, at times, unable to stand up for more than 10 minutes.

Eventually, Andrew suffered heart failure. He was coughing up blood and had to be rushed to the hospital. There, doctors told him that if he didn't get a heart transplant soon, he could die.

Andrew in the hospital, recording his journey back to health. Image via ajFitness/YouTube.

That was two years ago. 

He is still awaiting a heart transplant and relies on an artificial heart and a pacemaker to keep him alive.

While he waits, Andrew is doing something few people awaiting a transplant would do. He has become a professional fitness model.

As you can see, Andrew doesn't hide from his scars. Nor does he hide from the tubes coming in and out of his body that operate his artificial heart.

Instead, he wants those things to inspire others. He wants people to know that whatever your goals are, you shouldn't let anything, including a near-death experience, stand in your way.

Everywhere Andrew goes, he carries a backpack. Inside it is the machine pumping blood through his veins and keeping him alive. The literal weight on his shoulders is a constant reminder of how close he came to losing everything.

Image via ajFitness/YouTube.

"Tomorrow's not guaranteed for any of us," Andrew said. "For someone in my situation, it’s guaranteed a lot less. ... Two and a half, three years ago? I probably would've taken waking up in the morning for granted."

Now, he says, he's grateful for every single morning he gets.

Photo courtesy of Andrew Jones.

Andrew knows that everyone has goals. Whether it's starting a business, paying off bills, or writing a book.

"If there’s something that’s on your mind 24/7 that you can’t stop thinking about, you need to act on it," he said.

Andrew uses his body and his mind to inspire people all over the world. On his Instagram, he spreads messages of hope and acceptance, calling on people everywhere to embrace the hand they were dealt and push forward. 

"I want people to leave with a little more motivation than they came in with," Andrew said.

In all of his photos, scars and medical equipment are on proud display.

Photo courtesy of Andrew Jones.

They remind people that no matter what you're up against, you can achieve incredible things. 

Andrew has also started a foundation called Hearts at Large, which raises awareness for organ donation and collects the stories of people whose lives have been saved by it. 

For Andrew, paying it forward is not just a thing he occasionally does, it’s a mantra for his life. 

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