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Husband shares 'tips' for men with perimenopausal wives and it's totally spot on

"Any form of heavy breathing, particularly from the nostrils, is now out of bounds. Things like this could quite literally get you killed."

Photo credit: Canva

Perimenopause is not joke, but these tips are hilarious.

In recent years, the long-neglected period of female life known as perimenopause has finally gotten the attention it deserves. Menopause most people knew about. The decade or so preceding it, when women's bodies go haywire in a hundred different ways due to hormonal fluctuations, not so much.

You know it when you experience it, though. It's super fun playing a constant game of "Am I dying or is it just perimenopause?" Random symptoms ranging from the somewhat expected hot flashes and irregular periods to the totally unexpected insomnia, irritability, and itching all over just show up out of nowhere. Ten pounds move in like squatters in your mid-section, refusing to leave even when you try to kick them out. The body you've lived in for decades suddenly feels foreign and your brain feels like it's trying to reign in a tornado of physical, mental, and emotional upheaval.

perimenopause, menopause, mid-life, women's health, humorPerimenopause comes with all kinds of random symptoms.Photo credit: Canva

All of this is super easy for our families to deal with, of course. Ha ha.

While we women bear the brunt of the perimenopause bombardment, our loved ones do get hit by the shrapnel. And there's little question that our spouses get most of the collateral damage, which is why a husband's video with advice for men with perimenopausal wives is hitting home. The creator @mitch.little.academy explains that his wife is currently in perimenopause and he wants to share some tips that he's learned with his peers.

"Tip No. 1: Snacks. Don't be messing around with the snacks in the house," he says. "These are no longer yours. Your partner is very up to date with the snack inventory, and if there's one left in the fridge, this does not belong to you, for safety reasons."

@mitch.little.academy

Some tips for the blokes


Next tip: "You have to be quieter about everything that you do. Any form of heavy breathing, particularly from the nostrils, is now out of bounds. Things like this could quite literally get you killed."

"I suggest, if possible, thinking quieter is ideal," he continues. "Even sounds like blinking, which we didn't even know was a thing, is something that you should avoid doing or learn not to do."

He goes on to suggest that husbands "just say 'sorry'" upon waking, even if you don't know what you're sorry for, definitely don't tell her that your core temperature is "comfortable and ideal" when she tells you she's hot, and other such life-saving advice.

insomnia, irritability, perimenopause, women's health. spouseInsomnia and irritability aren't the best perimenopausal combo.Photo credit: Canva

The video is tongue-in-cheek, of course, but he does add a touch of seriousness, acknowledging that perimenopause genuinely is a lot to be going through.

"Did you [know] that suicide and divorce rates are at the highest for females between the age of 35 and 50?" he wrote on Facebook. "Perimenopause is an extremely tough time for a female. I'm no expert, but I'm learning. All I'll say is 'I hear you.' Maybe more conversations can help spread awareness."

Awareness is great, but so is humor, honestly. We have to be able to laugh at this wild stage of life, otherwise we'll cry. Perimenopausal women in the comments appear to agree, appreciating these "tips" for their hubbies:

"OMFG I can’t stop laughing, I’m 12 yrs (of hell) with this crap! Sending your partner hugs and please keep the awareness going, along with the humour!"

"Spot on!! Our marriage nearly ends nightly due to the opening and rustling of packets of food."

"Haha! Peeling paint with the snoring gets me. I'm laying there wide awake at 2 am thinking well I guess I'll get up and do some yoga or put a pillow on his face. Yoga is a better option, it's saved a life a few nights!"

menopause, perimenopause, women's health, women, spouseMenopause is on its way.Giphy GIF by Better Things

"For me it was loud chewing during dinner and the strapping of utensils on the dinner plate. The kids didn’t bother me but my husband…well poor man."

"You didn’t talk about the ear itching! Why didn’t You talk ABOUT THE EAR ITCHING! Now I need to yell at my husband because you missed the ear itching."

"Thank you! It is so recognizable. My husband is still the culprit I am extremely irritated by his behavior, which I never really bothered about before. I am already through pre-memopause and probably at the end, but I am still a volcano that erupts in the morning and at times I feel terribly unhappy. I am bothered by people in general and want them all to disappear.It is a bit less now that I am 60, but I can well imagine that women think about suicide and divorce during that period. I am glad that there is more openness and that it is taken seriously. Thanks again! Love your humor!"

"My husband will ask me do you love me or hate me today and I say no I hate you today but you’ve not done anything wrong it’s not you and he will say ok I’ll go out the back to play with the pigeons. You just have to be understanding about it. Good communication."

In all seriousness, perimenopause sucks. It's good for us all to have a sense of humor about it to ease the angst and pain.

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Women don't know whether to laugh or cry over this 'Perry Menopause' comedy sketch

No one fully prepares you for "Perry" moving in, but she's the worst roommate ever.

The Holderness Family/Facebook

Kim Holderness meets her unwelcome new roommate, Perry Menopause.

Whether you are female yourself or you love someone who is, there's someone you need to be introduced to. Perry Menopause—or perimenopause in the real world—is a witch with a b who suddenly moves into your life sometime in your 40s, bringing with her all kinds of baggage and annoyances.

For some reason, no one fully prepares women for her arrival. Sure, we all hear about menopause itself all the time. You know about hot flashes. You know the hormonal changes and end of your menstruating years are coming sometime down the road, but that's it. Nobody informs you ahead of time that for years and yearsbefore menopause your body is going to go through drastic changes that will leave you constantly saying WTF?! and wondering if you have some horrible, hidden disease or if it's "just hormones" from perimenopause.

Let me tell you right now, there's no such thing as "just hormones." Hormones are potent and powerful, and they affect basically every single function in your body, as this Holderness Family skit about Perry Menopause illustrates.

Let’s run down a partial list of unwanted luggage this uninvited roommate brings with her, shall we? Perimenopause can cause upwards of 100 different symptoms, which include:

- heart palpitations

- hair loss

- joint pain

- forgetfulness

- foot cramps

- itching

- weight gain

- hot flashes

- cold flashes

- poor night vision

The really fun thing about this list is that a whole lot of these things can be indicators of something much more serious, so for years you get to play games like “Is it lymphoma/arthritis/a heart attack/dementia or is it perimenopause?"

And a lot of times your doctor is no help because they either have no idea that perimenopause is a thing or they pull the "just hormones" line as if the upheaval of your entire body is "just" something you're supposed to live with.

Watch Kim Holderness meeting Perry Menopause officially for the first time:

Women in the comments were thrilled to see what they've experienced being validated in such a funny way.

"This is all spot on," wrote one commenter. "I'm so glad that menopause and especially perimenopause is being highlighted more to help make us ladies not feel so crazy and gives men (and doctors) an idea that it actually exists!"

"I was just going to say that Perry is a B*$ch but you beat me to it," shared another commenter. "The itching, weight is the same but have shift to different places, acne, mood swings, lack of sleep…yup, the pleasures that we go through. My poor husband and son have to deal with Perry as well."

"So f-ing true. Perry’s been around me about 8 years. Getting pretty tired of her! Also, what about brain fog!!!" wrote another.

"I don’t know if I should laugh or cry because you guys NAILED it!!! (But that’s just Perry confusing my emotions again)," shared another. "The only thing I would add is the back and forth between hot & cold all night! 🥴 kicking covers off, then to get cold, then to get warm, so you just let the one leg out of the covers. 😳 Finally finding a way to push covers away onto my husband and just end up with the top sheet! Go away Perry!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Kim explained that her husband Penn was actually the one who wrote the skit, which is admirable because it means he's been paying attention. Perry Menopause may be a fictitious person, but perimenopause is real, she's the worst and we definitely need to talk about her more.

You can follow The Holderness Family on Facebook for more hilariously relatable skits like this.

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Woman lists 100 perimenopause symptoms in a 7-minute, unforgettable viral video

It seems like everything outside of 'breathing' is on this list.

Kari Anne Wright/YouTube

Woman lists 100 perimenopause symptoms in 7-minute video.

Perimenopause is the sort of gift you never really wanted but you can't take back because you lost the receipt. It's like the last hoorah of your fertility as it slowly makes its way out of the door, but it overstays its welcome and has to mess stuff up on the way out so that you're stuck cleaning up like the responsible adult you are.

Many people are familiar with the term menopause and equate that to symptoms such as hot flashes and night sweats. But menopause is actually just the term for not having a menstrual cycle in 12 months or longer. Perimenopause is the time before the year-long absence of a menstrual period, and it can last a pretty long time, as much as four to eight years for some people.

But like a lot of things that involve women's reproductive health, it's under-researched, so even doctors may scratch their heads at some of the symptoms.

A comprehensive list of symptoms can be helpful even if some may still constitute a trip to the doctor to check for other causes, because chances are, if you're nearing 40, perimenopause symptoms are knocking loudly. Thankfully, YouTube creator Kari Anne Wright has compiled a visual list to help you feel a little less alone on this wild ride.

Everyone knows the most talked about symptoms such as hot flashes or vertigo, but Wright takes the time to list things people may not know. Heart palpitations, hair loss, joint pain and forgetfulness are all symptoms of perimenopause. But so are things like foot cramps, itchy ears, weight gain and cold flashes. Yeah, you can just randomly become freezing cold and nothing works to warm you up.

Honestly, the list of symptoms for perimenopause is so long that it feels like the only things not listed are breathing and spontaneous combustion. But having a list and knowing you're not alone may be just the thing you need to survive this inevitable part of life, so hurry and watch the video below. Save it to your favorites for when you have a moment of wondering, "Is this perimenopause or am I losing it?"

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Health

Influencers are pulling the veil off of menopause and women are shocked but thankful

"This was perhaps the most accurate and hilarious account of menopause I have ever watched! This is amazing!"

Kristina Kuzmic Facebook

Influencers are pulling the veil off of menopause.

Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly depending on who you ask, menopause and perimenopause aren't really talked about much. Women sort of fumble through this part of life relying on whatever information your mother or older relative can remember. For some reason what happens to women's bodies when hormones start to decline is still a mystery, even to some medical professionals.

Thankfully in the age of the internet and middle-aged women who no longer care for many societal niceties—like not talking about menopause in mixed company—women are being educated about their bodies. Kristina Kuzmic, a social media influencer and author, posted a video where she and a friend discuss menopause. Out loud.

Earlier in the month, I also posted on my page about those pesky hormonal changes and the things no one tells you about. In both instances, the comments were full of women shocked at the symptoms or sharing their own wisdom. But overwhelmingly, women of varying ages were thankful that the conversation was being had.


Most people know menopause is a thing that happens and is defined by when a woman has not had a period in 12 months. But what happens leading up to that? That's the stuff we don't talk about. That phase is called perimenopause and can start as early as your 30s and last for up to 10 years, though some women in the comment sections are saying it can last much longer.

The symptoms are kind of all over the place, which may be why some doctors don't put things together right away. In Kuzmic's video they go over symptoms like hair loss, hot flashes, heart palpitations, brain fog and more, in a humorous way. For starters, they call menopause "cougar puberty."

"Am I going to smell like my teenager's bedroom?" Kuzmic playfully asks after being told that your body odor changes. While the video is funny, it also brings a lot of information forward in an easily digestible way and the comments prove women are happy it's being talked about.

"Peri-menopause and I've got it all....thanks for making me feel semi-normal today. Some days I know in my head that these changes are normal.... some days my brain says I need to run to a doctor cause I'm totally dying," one woman wrote.

Another woman said, "Cougar Puberty. Totally love it. Totally glad to see an educational and humorous video about it."

"A mandatory party no one wants to attend. That sums it up perfectly. Thank you for sharing candidly all we have to look forward to and hope we don't get 1st prize of all the symptoms," one commenter wrote.

If you're ready to learn all about "cougar puberty" check out the video below:

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