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Doctor validates parents everywhere by explaining why our 8-year-olds are so moody

What is "Adrenarche" and why is it turning our kids into walking nightmares?

drcarmenbriner/Instagram & Canva Photos

A lot of parents have noticed kids that are "too young" for puberty are moody and emotional. A doctor explains.

As the father of a 9-year-old, let me try to put it gently: What in the absolute hell?! Somewhere along the way, our education and training as parents failed us. We knew having a baby would be hard due to a lack of sleep and all the crying. We know toddlers would leave us feeling touched out and exhausted from tantrums. We also know to brace ourselves for the emotional rollercoaster of puberty in the teen years. But...nobody told us about what happens at ages seven or eight.

A doctor on Instagram is raising eyebrows for teaching parents a hard truth: puberty starts much earlier than we've been told, and it's these behind-the-scenes changes in body chemistry that explain a lot.

inside out, puberty, teens, preteens, kids, children, parenting, parentsInside Out is a masterclass in the emotions of young kidsGiphy

Dr. Carmen Briner, a doctor specializing in hormones, puberty, and periods, took to her Instagram Reels to drop some knowledge.

"Wondering why your 7 or 8-year-old is suddenly so moody? Well, puberty starts before you might think, with the brain signaling the hypothalamus and pituitary glands to start secreting hormones, which happens before any visible physical changes of puberty start to take place," she says.

General knowledge tells us to expect a certain amount of teenage grumpiness when the body odor, growth spurts, and hair growth kicks in, but according to Briner, there's a secret "pre-puberty" phase called Adrenarche. This phase is when those puberty hormones surge behind the scenes, leading to "moodiness, irritability, or even sudden bursts of energy or excitement."

Most parents of a kid this age have seen it play out in real-time where a minor mistake or inconvenience leads to half an hour of hysterical tears. "These early hormonal shifts have a huge impact on their emotions, so you might notice new sensitivity or sudden mood swings or a newfound intensity in their feelings," Briner says.

Listen to her break down the science here:

Needless to say, frustrated parents of kids aged seven to ten are in the comments feeling incredibly seen. Boy and girl moms alike were relived to get an explanation for why parenting suddenly seemed so damn hard, right when it was "supposed" to be getting easier:

"All this plus acne for our 7 year old son. I wasn’t ready."

"My friend's 9yo is starting to act up and I told her it must be puberty starting. She said it's crazy, she's too small and she's just being petty on purpose. Thank you for this video, I might not be crazy after all"

"It’s been a nightmare since she was 8. She’s almost 12"

"My almost 8 year old girl has been a moody NIGHTMARE. Always nice to know its not my fault"

"So my 8 year old boy did not suddenly become possessed by a demon?"

"Save me" one tired mom joked.

peewee herman, help, kids, parenting, parents, moms, dads, pubertyParents of 7 and 8-year-olds desperately need help.Giphy

See? If your pre-puberty kid is, let's say, a handful, it's not just you. We're all going through this together, and it's not your fault. It's also not your child's fault. "They are not being difficult on purpose," Briner reminds us.

Experts say the best way to handle this volatile phase is to have empathetic but firm conversations when the heat of the moment has passed. There's no use hooting and hollering when your eight-year-old is in the middle of a hysterical meltdown. Just be there for them and support them as the feelings pass through. Then, when things are calm, discuss strategies for how you two can handle things better the next time around.

And don't worry—the mood swings won't last forever. They should settle down dramatically by the time your kid is 16 or so. Only eight more years—you've got this!

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Popular pediatrician on TikTok warns parents never to trust their dog around kids

"I know that you love your pets and that you trust your pets, but never trust your pet."

@thepedipals/TikTok

yes, even this adorable little face could cause severe damage.

We love our fur babies. Even after we transition from purely pet parents to full blown baby parents (for those of us that do, anyway) we still see our cats and dogs as pure and precious creatures in need of our attention and care. Cause they are. Duh.

In some cases that means sharing the same activities, wearing matching outfits…heck, it wouldn’t be out of this world to see a baby sharing a stroller with a dog from time to time.

But sometimes, love and trust are two different things. And when it comes to our pets being around children, some experts recommend not placing your faith in the paws of your beloved pets.

Pediatrician Dr. Sami, of the popular Pedi Pals on TikTok, recently warned parents that “you can never be too careful around dogs” when they’re with small children, “no matter how much you love them, no matter how gentle they've been.”

In the clip, she explains that when her kids were very young, they were always kept separate from the dogs until they were old enough to interact safely with them—to know to not come between them and their food, to know when they’re irritated, etc., etc.

And while Dr. Sami admitted that her dogs have never shown aggression, it doesn't mean that their instincts wouldn’t kick in at an inopportune moment. Hence why she always used a partition for her kids or when her kid’s friends came over, and why she encourages parents to ask other parents to keep pets separated during visits.

“I know that you love your pets and that you trust your pets, but never trust your pet,” she says, all while cuddling with an adorable puppy named Daisy.

@thepedipals

The worst cosmetically damaging dog bite I saw was actually done by a chihuaha. Of course larger dogs can even unalive people. So if you love your dog and kids, stop playing into the fairy tales of the internet- and be cautious, vigilant and smart. Im sure someone will say they didn't like me whispering and for that, I pre-emptively apologize.

♬ original sound - The PediPals (Pediatric Pals)

Dr. Sami also points out that those all-too-common videos on social media showing dogs and babies cuddling in harmony is not a reality.

“Anytime I see these like videos on TikTok of people that have like their baby sleeping with their husky, I'm like, ‘Dear God, this animal can't talk, okay?’” she says, adding, “you just don't know what's going on in their brain and they might be okay with everything 99.9% of the time, but then the one time they're not, their instinct is to bite and their instinct is to go for the face. They rarely ever bite extremities. It's always the face.”

“And if I had a nickel for every single one of my patients that has been bitten by a dog and required stitches, I'd be rich. It's way, way, way too common in the pediatric world. Just be careful,” she concludes.

Judging by the comments to her video, D.r Smai is not the only person with this viewpoint. Several parents and even fellow doctors chimed in to agree.

One parent wrote, “My son is two and I JUST started allowing them to walk around each other under VERY careful supervision bcuz my son started to understand my dog’s boundaries. But I never trust ANY dog or ANY toddler 🤣”

Another added, “People always wonder why I’m so cautious with my sweet dog, it’s because she’s still a DOG and toddlers are crazy!!!”

Meanwhile, a doctor shared, Most of the dog attacks we see in the pediatric ER are from the family dog that they thought would ‘never do that.’ 🥺.”

Dr. Sami’s opinion is also shared by The American Academy of Pediatrics’, which states that parents should “never leave dogs and children alone together.”

And as the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) reiterates on its website, “any dog can bite: big or small, male or female, young or old. Even the cuddliest, fuzziest, sweetest pet can bite if provoked. Remember, it is not a dog's breed that determines whether it will bite, but rather the dog's individual history and behavior.”

Furthermore, the AVMA states that children are the most common victims of dog bites and are far more likely to be severely injured. In addition, most dog bites affecting young children occur during everyday activities and while interacting with familiar dogs.

When it comes to dog bite prevention, the AMVA has a few basic guidelines, including but not limited to:

  • Teach kids how to respect animals: that it’s not okay to pull their ears or tails, tease them, how to approach dogs calmly, just as a few examples
  • Break your house into zones: one for the kids, the other for the furry kids. Note that there’s a difference between zoning, like using a partition, and imprisoning your pet.
  • Always, always, always supervise interactions between pets and young children.
  • Avoid the assumption that because a stranger’s dog has been friendly in the past, that it will be in the future. This, of course, goes for the family dog as well.

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Pediatrician goes viral after sharing the 'secret' milestones parents might be missing

These things might not be on the traditional checklist, but they are baby benchmarks nonetheless.

@ThePediPals/TikTok

There are many, many milestones in a baby's development

There are some chapters in a baby’s development that all parents know to anticipate—taking those first steps, saying that first word, doing their first backflip (okay maybe not that last one, but you get it).

However, as pediatrician Dr. Sami explains in a now-viral TikTok, there are also some common, yet not-so-publicized “secret” milestones that many parents might be experiencing without even realizing it.

Rather than adding potential stress, she hopes that this list might help parents recognize that there are plenty of benchmarks worth taking note of and celebrating…and to also not agonize over fitting into a finite timeline.

“So you have kids…which means that you’ve gone and looked at what milestones they ‘should’ be reaching…we’ve all done it,” she says, listing apps and the internet as primary sources of research.

“But I’m gonna tell you some secret milestones…cause what happens when I'm in clinic is that I'm talking to a lot of parents and I'm like, ‘Oh she’s probably doing this by now right?’ And then they’re like 'How'd you know?’”

Profuse hiccuping is listed first, which Dr. Sami asserts is “totally normal,” followed by “screaming bloody murder for everything,” whether they’re “hungry, wet, bored,” and everywhere in between. “It’s always just like one setting, and it's like, ‘I’m dying,'” she quips. Okay, so this one is much louder than hiccuping, obviously. But still normal.

Dr. Sami continues, “Four months is that stage where they’re super cute and smiling all the time, but they also grab your hair and won’t let go. And you’re literally bald because of it because they just pull all your hair out.”

Then, somewhere between 6 to 9 months, things get a little “weird,” apparently. “They start to shake their head all the time or maybe they start to stick their tongue out a little bit,” she notes. Though at this stage parents might wonder if these behaviors are normal or not, Dr. Sami reassures that, yes, they’re not only normal—”they're a milestone.”


Next, at around 12 to 15 months old is actually when the milestone of temper tantrums begins, not age 2, as most people believe. Then, at around 15 to 18 months, “they all totally try to kill themselves every day,” she jokes. “That’s totally a milestone.”

Dr. Sami breaks then breaks down milestones for toddlers all the way up to early teens, which are as follows:

Toddlers

Becoming picky eaters and “selfish, unreasonable terrorists.”

4 to 6 years old

Talking non-stop and asking “Why?”…to the point where as a parent you might reconsider wanting them to be able to talk in the first place.

9 to 11 years old

Developing anxiety toward death and mortality. While this is normal, Dr. Sami does recommend talking to your pediatrician about it so that it’s easier to navigate.

Teens

Having a different circadian rhythm, like wanting to stay up later at night and waking up later in the day. And, as a result of the school system not matching this new rhythm, being tired all the time.
@thepedipals

♬ original sound - The PediPals

Perhaps most importantly, Dr. Sami notes that not every milestone will be checked off at the same time for every kid, if at all.

“You know how milestones work. They kind of all go and develop at their own rate. Then some of ‘em kind of skip over milestones. That’s OK,” she states.

She also suggests that rather than sharing with other parents (or strangers on the internet) what milestones kids have and haven’t hit, which can elicit unnecessary worry, parents should simply tell their pediatrician, who can more likely be the one to address any real concerns anyway.

Bottom line—almost everything in a child’s development is a milestone in its own right. Even the weird and obscure ones. Odds are that as long as your pediatrician has given their thumbs up, you can simply ride that wild and crazy wave that is raising a tiny human.

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In 10 years, this incredibly hard-working millennial could be your kid's pediatrician.

She works four jobs and goes to school full-time. If it gets her closer to her dream, it's all worth it.

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How hard would you work to get the education that will help you reach your dreams? Ricarda Urso knows her answer: as hard as she can.

In 10 years, this incredibly hardworking millennial could be your kid's pediatrician.

Posted by Upworthy on Thursday, October 20, 2016

Working a job while going to school isn't out of the ordinary for a lot of college and university students. Working 60 hours a week at four different jobs is — but Ricarda does it with a smile.

Ricarda Urso is like a lot of young, optimistic, idealistic students. She's passionate, bubbly, and focused — committed to doing whatever it takes to get closer to her dream of going to medical school. In her case, that means working four different jobs to help pay for her education and support her family.

Every week, Ricarda works a minimum of 20 hours at a local Taco Bell, along with 20 hours at a video resource center and 10 hours as a lab assistant at the University of Oklahoma. She also babysits for about 10 hours a week. All of this is on top of her full-time, 15 credit hours of coursework at the University of Oklahoma, where she’s doing an undergraduate degree in preparation for going to medical school.

"It gets crazy," she says "but I'm way determined to complete my path and make my dreams come true."

Ricarda hasn't walked an easy path to get this far. In her young life, she's overcome many challenges — some even grown-ups shouldn't have to face.

Ricarda and her brothers smile for the camera in this old family snapshot. All images via Taco Bell/YouTube.

When Ricarda's family came to America from Germany during her childhood, they never planned on staying long. That all changed when her biological father abandoned Ricarda, her mother, and her two brothers after encountering difficulties with his visa. He fled home, leaving them in Oklahoma to start a new life on their own.

Growing up the daughter of a single mother is tough enough, but Ricarda also had other challenges.

She was born with cerebral palsy, a movement disorder that affects her muscles along her entire right side.

Ricarda's cerebral palsy used to limit her ability to put her right foot on the ground. Regular stretching helps her prevent that from recurring.

Every summer during her childhood, she'd spend time at St. Louis Shriner's Hospital, where doctors and specialists would help her try to convince her muscles to move as they should. Even now, keeping her disorder from progressing requires painful stretching exercises and physical therapy. "It does hurt, and there's been those limits to where I'm crying," she said, "but there’s something inside me that says 'You can't stop.'"

Living with cerebral palsy and spending so much time in care as a child sparked a dream for Ricarda. She's laser-focused on becoming a pediatrician.

"When I was younger I got to see a lot of the medical atmosphere, and I got to see it with my own eyes," she said. "Kids, they're filled with joy, and I love that about them."

Ricarda knows she has a long road ahead. She also knows she can do anything she sets her mind to.

"I start the day early and end the day late at night — and this is just my undergrad years, I still have my graduate years and medical school. It is a long road ahead but I've always had this driven power to show others that I can do it."

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