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Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard open up about being attracted to other people - and why that's OK

In a relationship, it can be a little uncomfortable when a super attractive person comes on the TV. Maybe a beautiful actress or a handsome athlete. How couples handle these moments can actually tell you a lot about them and their relationship. Do they talk about it? Squirm in silence?

One of the ways to tell if you're in a healthy relationship is whether you and your partner are free to talk about other people you find attractive. For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips OK, maybe don't do this around your partner. Or ever. Giphy

Of course, there's a healthy way to approach such a potentially dangerous topic. Telling your partner you find someone else attractive shouldn't be about making them feel jealous. It's probably also best that if you're attracted to a coworker, friend, or their sibling, that you keep it to yourself.

But, being open about your sexual feelings, can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and to let your partner know what you like.

Actress and mental health advocate Kristen Bell admits that she and her husband, actor Dax Shepard, have learned how to be open about their attraction to other people.


dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are one of the most relatable couples in Hollywood.By MingleMediaTVNetwork - Kristen Bell, CC BY-SA 2.0

The couple believes that being able to talk about such taboo topics without making each other jealous is a great way to preserve their relationship.

"He can tell me someone he finds attractive, female or male, 'cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners, but it doesn't make me feel like he's going to leave me for that person because I'm not allowing my self-esteem to be affected," she explained.

Bell believes that it's completely normal and healthy for people in monogamous relationships to be attracted to other people.

"I know there are people on planet Earth that are more attractive than me, and well, we're not dead. I have to acknowledge we're monkeys," Bell said. As an attractive, famous couple working in Hollywood, there is extra pressure for them to be able to handle their jealousy.

Some couples might choose to keep their attraction to others a little closer to the vest, and that's OK, too. But if you feel like you have to lie or pretend that no one else on the planet is good looking, well, your relationship may have some communication issues to examine.

The couple has also done a good job at accepting the fact that Bell is the primary bread-winner in the family. Studies show men have higher levels of stress if their wives earn more than 40% of their home's combined income.

About a third of women in the U.S. make more than their husbands.

While Shepard has had a successful career, acting in films such as "Idiocracy" and "Without a Paddle," Bell has starred in some major hits including, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and the "Bad Moms" films.

She's also made a pretty penny voicing Princess Anna in Disney's "Frozen" franchise. Shephard's work on his successful podcast "Armchair Expert" has no doubt been a big boon for their family, but come on: Bell's got Disney money!

dax shepard, kristen bell, celebrity couples, frozen, armchair expert, marriage, marriage advice, couples therapy, relationship tips Kristen Bell plays Anna in Frozen, so her career has been going OK. Giphy

"I think I've always out-earned him," Bell said about their careers. "I got a lot of opportunity, you're sharing in it, we're able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling," she continued, as if addressing Shepard. "I don't look at it like, 'This is mine and this is yours.' I'm like, 'This is ours. Get over it.'"

Bell and Shepard have also worked through his very public battles with addiction, including a relapse after a motorcycle accident in 2020. FHE Health writes, "Bell shared [at the time] that Dax was forthcoming with her about falling back into the desire to use and communicated that he wanted her help coming up with a new plan for how to keep him sober."

Bell believes that the couple's ability to get over petty jealousy is one way to make sure their unique relationship stands the test of time. But it's not just about suppressing jealousy. It's about open, honest communication; even when it's hard or uncomfortable. That, truly, is one of the bedrocks of a successful marriage.

"Do you want to be on the porch with someone when you're 80?" Bell asked. "We both want that."

No one knows the inner workings of anyone else's relationship, of course, but from the outside, Bell and Shepard sure seem like great role models for how to keep love alive in a longterm marriage.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.


Joy

Win $1,000 and a personal message from Kristen Bell with This Saves Lives giveaway

We're so excited about This Saves Lives bars hitting Costco, we're holding a nationwide giveaway. Here’s how to enter.

This Saves Lives is on a mission to end child hunger.

True

When you become a parent, your grocery bill starts to grow right along with your kids. During growth spurts, the amount of food that kids consume can be mind-blowing, and many parents find themselves trying to balance keeping their kids fed well, keeping their bank account from dwindling and keeping their time in the kitchen to a minimum.

For millions of parents, Costco is a lifesaver on this front. The wholesale club is known for huge warehouses full of bulk buys and fair prices that make feeding a family a bit less daunting. (For real, who can resist a humongous rotisserie chicken for $4.99?)

One way Costco shines for busy families is in the grab-and-go snack department, which is why we’re thrilled to announce that This Saves Lives Kids Snack Bars are now being stocked at Costco stores across the Southeastern United States. For $15.49, you can get a 24-count box of This Saves Lives Kids Snack Bars, which includes 12 S’mores Blast and 12 Chocolate Chip “Dino”mite flavors.


What makes This Saves Lives Kids Snack Bars special? For one, they have the "Yum!" factor kids want without the junk parents don't. They're allergen-friendly (no nuts, gluten, dairy or soy, so safe for schools), and they contain a full serving of fruits and veggies (without tasting like it, seriously). Plus, in addition to being delicious, nutritious and convenient, each This Saves Lives box purchased helps feed children facing malnutrition and hunger around the world. As part of the launch at Costco Southeast, This Saves Lives is supporting No Kid Hungry to help provide 60,000 meals to children in the Southeast.

Nothing but wins all around.

To celebrate this milestone, we are announcing a nationwide giveaway with a chance to win:

Prizes: 50 winners selected at random will receive a This Saves Lives sample box.

Grand Prize: One lucky winner will win a $1,000 grocery gift card (via Visa gift card) PLUS a personal message from actress Kristen Bell.

Enter the giveaway between now and March 14, 2023. There are two options to enter:

OPTION A

OPTION B:

  • Share a post on Instagram in support of the movement to end child hunger and include your This Saves Lives snacks, if you have them.
  • Tag @upworthy @thisbar and @nokidhungry. @Upworthy will reshare our favorite posts. (DM us your post if you have a private account.)

That’s it! If you don't live near a store that sells This Saves Lives bars (check store locator here), you can order them online or through Instacart. With Upworthy and This Saves Lives teaming up with Costco to make families' lives easier and fight child hunger, everyone wins. And until March 14, everyone has the chance to win even bigger. What would you do with a $1,000 grocery shopping spree? What would you ask Kristen Bell to say in a custom video recording for you?

Kids need healthy snacks and parents need convenience, so share this exciting announcement – or even better – grab your box of This Saves Lives bars and post a photo for a chance to make the shopping you’d do anyway pay off even more.

Visit thissaveslives.com/grocery-giveaway for more information on the giveaway, and happy snacking!

Family

Kristen Bell's 'honest parenting approach' could help other parents.

Parents sometimes withhold honest information to protect their kids, but that may not be the best approach.

Kristen Bell's honest parenting approach could help other parents.

Let's be honest here for a minute.

There are tough conversations that are just plain ol' uncomfortable for parents to have with their children. Some parents would rather deflect difficult questions or give a very made-up, childlike answer. For example, a parent might tell a child babies come from storks or they give them out at the hospital, just to avoid the topic of sex.

The thought is usually that the child is too young to know actual information about the difficult topic, so in a fit of panic, the parent makes something up. But as a licensed therapist with a degree in child development, I can tell you kids typically only ask questions they're ready to hear the answer to. In fact, they're really good at letting you know when you over-explain because they'll either change the subject or become obviously disinterested.

Actress Kristen Bell made headlines recently for her approach to discussing difficult topics with her children. She's honest with her kids, even about their father's addiction and recovery. Bell appeared in the magazine Real Simple and explained that there's nothing off the table to discuss with her two daughters, Delta, 8, and Lincoln, 9 1/2.


"I know it's shocking, but I talk to my kids about drugs, and the fact that their daddy is an addict and he's in recovery, and we talk about sex," she says. "There are all these 'hard topics' that don't have to be if you give the person on the other end your vulnerability and a little bit of credit," Bell told Real Simple. Being completely honest with children can be shocking to some parents, Bell noted in the interview.

Certainly, complete honesty comes with the caveat of delivering the information in an age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate way. But why do parents shy away from honesty when it comes to talking to kids about hard topics? Well, in my experience, it's often because it makes the parent uncomfortable or they're so worried about getting it wrong that they put off answering, thus creating anxiety-inducing anticipation.

Parents don't want to accidentally mess up their kids and they also don't want to expose them to things they don't think they're ready for. And sometimes things pop up unexpectedly that parents simply don't have a choice about when it comes to having hard conversations.

"There are many things that children don't yet understand, and exposing them to complex topics early on can help both their emotional and intellectual development," Alicia Robins from the Institute for Childhood Preparedness wrote. Being truthful also helps encourage children to be open and honest in return because there's been a reciprocal exchange of information and feelings from an early age.

A 2022 study of Indigenous families found that being honest with children created more resilience, quality relationships and overall life satisfaction. But when looking at parents who practiced less open communication, including lying, children were less likely to be resilient and had an increased risk of trauma symptoms in adolescence.

While experts aren't saying you should tell your children all the nitty gritty details of topics, they are saying that age-appropriate honesty is best, even when the topics are hard.

Podcast

Upworthy Weekly podcast: Stranger danger, kids ask God, inner monologues

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? Kids ask God the big questions, a mom has the perfect way to deal with stranger danger, and does everyone have an inner monologue?

Upworthy Weekly podcast for November 12, 2022.

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? Kids asked God the biggest questions and we have the answers. A woman is confused about whether she has an inner monologue and a mom shares the perfect way to deal with stranger danger.

Plus, Upworthy joins the fight against world hunger and we try to make sense of Elon Musk.

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