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Bring back yearning!

Is romance a lost art? Some might say it is. Many people find dating apps to be an impersonal nightmare, and meeting up in-person is not always much better. Still, love connections do happen every day despite the odds! But is there courtship? Is there chivalry? Has everything gone to complete hell since the invention of social media?

Some experts say that romance isn't dead, just different, and that's a good way of looking at it. But there's definitely something nostalgic about the old-fashioned ways of our parents and grandparents. When you met each other in real life, dated properly, took each other to a sock hop, and couldn't instantly go find someone else the second you got bored.

One woman recently shared a fascinating and nostalgic document she received from her grandpa: He had documented every single date with his wife for over 60 years.

people on a date in the 60sIf he wanted to, he would. Giphy

The caption, shared by the granddaughter, Kayla, read: "When girls can barely get a good morning text but my grandpa documented every memory and date he ever had w my grandma for 60 years."

What follows is an extremely well-organized log of every date or key memory between the pair. A couple of things stand out from the early years of Jim and Kay's love story:

  • The title of the document is "The Beginning of a Wonderful Relationship." Pure romance.
  • They met on December 5, 1969 at a collegiate dance.
  • They hung out A LOT in the early days. In the first month of dating, they went on around 15 dates!
  • Jim refers to himself in the document as "Jim," which took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out. I kept wondering, who's this Jim guy?!
  • There are no NSFW details—that's not how that generation rolls — but you can read between the lines. "Kay came over to Jim's place before she went to work." Alright, I see you, Grandpa and Grandma.
  • It is pages and pages and pages long. No memory was too minute to leave out. In the video, just the year 1970 goes on for over five pages.
  • In June of 1970, Jim proposes, and the story is pure gold:

"Jim picked up Kay after work and went to the 'Den of Times' for drinks. There, Jim proposed to Kay asking if she 'wanted to marry him.' She said she had 'wanted' to marry him for some time but that he needed to ask another question. When he said 'will you marry me? she accepted!"

Watch Kayla's touching video here:


@kaylastipsits1

my grandma is one lucky gal #fyp #foryou #dating #love #relationship #stl #silversprings #stlouis #missouri

Commenters swooned, sobbed, and in some cases, were super jealous of the love on display in this document.

Over 8 million people have viewed the video on TikTok and we're all in agreement: The bar has been raised.

"may this love ATTACK me," wrote one user.

"Now I'm mad at my husband"

“Made spaghetti, went grocery shopping” SOBBING

"MAY THIS LOVE FIND ME"

"They just don’t make them like this anymore"

"We get caught up in so many modern day dating rules….'don’t make yourself too available'. Notice how they spent almost every day together immediately after meeting for the first time [When you know you know]"

The most beautiful part of the journal, to me, is the pure mundanity of it. So many dates involved them going shopping for groceries, cooking dinner at home, or watching TV. The fact that it was all done together over the course of many decades, and Jim considered every instance worthy of writing down, speaks volumes about their love.

Reading through what's visible of the document, I didn't see any instances of "picnic in a rowboat on a lake at sunset" or "candlelit dinner at the top of a skyscraper." It's just all so normal and ordinary. And I think it paints an amazing picture of what love really is: Finding a person to live life with.

I'd love to see how the pages of this journal evolved over the decades. In any case, not only is this journal an amazing testament to true love, it's an incredible thing for Kayla to inherit. It's the entire story of her Grandpa and Grandma, from the very beginning, without a single detail left out. And it's a good blueprint for her to keep if and when she tries to find her own life partner.

Grandparent bonds should be nurtured with healthy boundaries.

People who become grandparents often say the experience is nearly as joyous as having their own kids. And in some ways, it's better. Grandparents get to have all the fun and delight of children without all the work. Many grandparents look forward to "spoiling" their grandkids with lots of love and affection, special outings and experiences, sweets and gifts and then handing them back to their parents for the actual parenting part.

Parents, too, often look forward to the kids spending time with their grandparents, not only to have a little break but to allow them to build relationships. However, there can be some habits some grandparents fall into that cause unnecessary tension in the family. It's not a bad thing to "spoil" a kid grandparent-style, but there are some healthy boundaries the grands need to keep in mind to maintain family unity and ensure that kids aren't literally being spoiled.


Every family dynamic is different and there are countless individual circumstances that play into what spoiling looks like, but here are three main boundaries that all grandparents should keep in mind as they love on their children's children:

1. Don't undermine parental authority

Parenting is hard, as every grandparent (theoretically) knows. Trying to raise individual kids with different personalities into healthy, happy, contributing adults while not losing your mind takes a lot of thought and effort. Rules are a part of that. Every set of parents creates rules based on their own beliefs about what's best; not everyone will always agree with them, but parents have the right to set rules.

Grandparents spoiling their grandkids might occasionally involve some slight rule-bending (two scoops of ice cream instead of one, for instance) but it should never entail blatantly going against a parent's authority. If a parent says their kid isn't allowed to watch something, don't let them watch it in the name of grandparent spoiling. If a parent requires a child to wear a helmet to ride their tricycle, that same rule needs to be enforced at Grandma and Grampa's. Inconsistency in rules, especially ones kids have been told are for their safety and well-being, can be confusing.

It might help to have an upfront discussion about what hard and fast rules parents have in place so that grandparents don't accidentally undermine them. And definitely don't do the "I know your parents don't let you do this, but I will" thing, telling them it's okay to break their parents' rules. Just smile wisely as you add some extra ice cream to their bowl.

2. Don't forget to say no sometimes.

One of the most fun parts of being a grandparent is having the freedom (and perhaps the means) to say yes a lot. But that doesn't mean you should always say yes to any requests your grandchildren make.

Kids actually do want some boundaries, no matter how much of a fuss they may make about them. Saying no sometimes lets your grandchildren know that you care enough about them to offer thoughtful limits and that you yourself have some boundaries they need to respect. It doesn't have to be a mean or grumpy "no," but it's good to not give every wish and desire a green light. Sometimes you simply have to say no because something isn't feasible, but even the occasional "No, Grandpa needs a break from that game" or "No, we've had too much sugar today already" sends the message that not every whim is worth indulging.

3. Don't compete with the other set of grandparents

It's not unusual for children to have grandparents on both of their parents' sides, especially when they're young. Unfortunately, in some families, a competitive dynamic can emerge in which one side strives to be the "favorite." This can lead to overdoing the spoiling as well as making kids feel like they're being pitted against one side of their family. It can also fuel resentment or jealousy among family members, which isn't fun for anyone.

There's no need to one-up the other grandparents by trying to be more fun or more generous or more indulgent. Just be the best version of a grandparent you can be, and encourage the kids to enjoy spending time with all of their elders while they're still around.

Being a grandparent is a privilege, and if you get to that stage you've earned the right to spoil your grandkids a bit. Just do so with these boundaries in mind so you can enjoy the joy and wonder of grandparenting with everyone's blessing.

You cautiously follow a dark hallway into a cramped, cinder block room.

Through the dim lighting, you can see that it looks to be a hospital room of some kind. On one side, an elderly patient lies lifeless, strapped to a gurney. (It's just a doll, but still — it's super creepy.)

Then you see her. An old woman, sitting in a wheelchair wearing a floral robe. She's bludgeoning a nurse with a bloody wrench as she wails: "You can't make me eat any more peas and carrots! I won't do it!"


Mary-Lou Williams knows her way around a wrench. All photos by Kevin Williams, used with permission.

If you're me, you run screaming from the premises and never return.

But this actually happens every night at the Warehouse of Fear in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, one of the areas most popular Halloween attractions.

That haunted house grandma is no teenager in makeup, though. She's Mary Lou-Williams, a local 93-year-old who knows how to have a good time.

2016 marks her fifth year as an actress with the haunted house, which her son, Kevin, helps manage.

She's not the world's biggest Halloween fan, but when her son asked her to help out, she figured, why not? "When you get older like I am, anything you can do, you better hop at the chance," she said.

The whole, twisted gang. Mary-Lou is right-center in the red pants.

During the first year of the attraction, Mary-Lou played an unassuming women in a quiet but spooky living room scene. Her feet rested on a bear skin rug. The bear, by the way, had killed her character's husband. And you were going to be next.

This year, Mary-Lou has finally graduated from merely uttering cryptic things to haunted house goers. Now, she's the one swinging the wrench, and she's giving it everything she's got.

"They'll be some of them so scared, they don't want to go into the next room," she joked. "It's just fun."

Murderous nursing home patient might be Mary-Lou's oddest job to date, but her life story is anything but boring.

In 2015, Mary-Lou played the role of a mental patient at the Warehouse of Fear.

She worked in factories most of her life, she said, including a cannery, then a muffler shop. Later, she found work at a laundromat. In between, there were various gigs loading and unloading packages. She worked until she was 78 years old.

In other words, Mary-Lou is not a woman who shies away from a tough job.

She gets paid a small hourly rate to work the haunted house, but that's not what motivates her.

"I just like doing it, and I like all the people," she said. "They're all really nice."

Now, she spends her days with her family, taking cabs to the market, and getting pedicures. And, of course, she also frightens the bejesus out of the local youths come Halloween, too.

"I thank the Lord to be able to do it," she said. "There's a lot of young people that's worse off than I am, so I just enjoy every minute of it."

Once the rush of fear has died down, a lot of the visitors are happy to meet and talk with Mary-Lou, too.

Many of them, even ones who have never met her, call her grandma.

That's what keeps her coming back year after year.