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Woman who moved from Ireland to Boston shares why the American dream is 'all a lie.'

"I have been bamboozled."

via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels
Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

Living abroad is a dream many people have, whether it's spending a summer in a foreign country or packing up their entire life to make the permanent move. In fact, about a third or more of Americans would move to another country if they had the means, and many do. Some estimates show that between 4-5 million non-military US citizens live abroad.

But life is funny, and sometimes these ex-pats come back to the United States for a variety of reasons like family or career, which gives them an extremely interesting perspective when they begin their re-entry.

Take American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue, for example. She's going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She moved back to the Boston area. Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned.

Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

"I have been bamboozled," she begins in the now viral clip with over 600 thousand views.


@kayshaynee

popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp

 


Many people like Kayleigh move abroad, especially to European countries, for a slower way of life, better work-life balance, more opportunity for travel, or just to see something different. But America is the land of opportunity, right? For some, that promise always beckons, no matter where they go. So even though Kayleigh had an amazing life in Ireland, she wound up moving home to advance her career and make more money.

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.

Viewers applauded Kayleigh for coming to the realization:

"Yep, I made the same mistake. Then I realized that people and quality of life are more important than income. Enjoy life!" one wrote.

"Get that. We moved back to US and it was horrible. We moved back to the UK. Happier now was 6 weeks off a year" said another.

"I think there are actually very few people who derive their enjoyment and self-worth from their job. Quality of life is so much more important," another user added.

@kayshaynee

so lucky to live this life🤍 #movingabroad #americanabroad #thenetherlands #europetravel


Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.

A Mercer survey in 2024 put Amsterdam as the sixth best city in the world for quality of life. It's a place with rich culture, amazing public transportation, and a reasonable cost of living to earning potential ratio.

@kayshaynee

I guess I live here now??? #movingabroad #dutchtiktok #amsterdam #americanabroad #internationalcouple

Young Americans really aren't asking for that much. They just want to be able to afford and enjoy their life, and they're willing to work hard for it. America should be giving them those opportunities instead of losing more and more talented young people to other countries.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Germans demonstrate how windows, of all things, separate European life from American life

Who knew this was such a cultural difference?

Photo credit: Canva

Stoßlüften is the German tradition of replacing the air in the home several times a day.

We may share some significant historical and cultural roots, but Americans and Europeans also have some distinct differences in the way they do things. There are the big things for us Americans like how we handle healthcare and young children doing active shooter drills at school, but there are also little things like how generous we are with ice and free soda refills.

And then there's something most of us probably don't think of as a difference, but apparently is: windows.

For the most part, in the U.S., windows are just…windows. You look out them. You clean them sometimes. When the weather is not too hot, not too cold, and not too windy or rainy, you open them for a while to get some fresh air.

windows, looking out, gif, open window, curtainsOpen Window Windows GIF by GarbageGiphy

In Germany and many other parts of Europe, window culture is an entire thing. First, windows have a tilt-open-from-the-top option that you rarely ever see in America. And second, Europeans use their windows actively, opening and closing them daily, all year round, regardless of the weather. And in Germany, it's not just daily, but multiple times a day.

Watch the creators at Radical Living humorously demonstrate this cultural difference by acting out someone learning about German windows from their first day in the country through 10 years of living there.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Stoßlüften literally means "shock ventilation" and refers to the German habit of replacing stale air with fresh air, which Germans do several times a day, every day. Yes, even in the dead of winter.

The discussion in the comments of the video is hilarious, as Europeans say they just thought this was normal and Americans (and apparently Australians?) are agog over the tiltable window design.

"I actually didn't knew that in other countries they had no tiltable windows. I just thought every country would have these."

"In Turkey, we call windows that open from the top 'vasistas.' The word comes from the German phrase 'was ist das,' which means 'what is this.' A bit silly, but really funny."

"I'm Australian. I had no idea windows that open on both axes existed. This is the first time I've ever seen this concept."

"My hotel in Italy had a tilting window like this, and until today I really thought that window was broken this whole time. Glad I didn’t complain to the front desk. That would have been embarrassing haha."

window, tilting window, fresh air, culture, GermanySnow Wind GIF by SnowmindsGiphy

"Used to live in Switzerland, and it is so true! You need to air out the kitchen and whole apartment during winter more often. The heater and closed room, mixed with our own body heat, gives off a very moist and warm feel in the room, which means more mold growing."

"I'm an American and do this during the winter too. My grandfather was German, maybe this is why I do it."

"I married a German woman. I LIVED THIS EXACT CHARACTER ARC."

If you're an American reading this, your first reaction to opening all the windows in winter is probably, "Doesn't that do a number on your heating bill?" Most of us get chastised just for leaving a door open longer than a few seconds in winter. According to some, it's not as much of an energy suck as you might think, since the change of air helps regulate humidity levels and it's only a short time that the windows are open.

@liamcarps

In Germany we don’t say 🇩🇪🪟

As Carrie Bradon writes in House Digest, "While you may find that the air in your home feels a bit chillier following a Stoßlüften session, the limited amount of time that the indoors are exposed to outdoor temperatures is short enough to keep all of the walls, floors, and furnishings from getting frigid. This means that it will take limited energy and time to get your home back to your ideal indoor temp."

However, at least some of the American reactions to this idea and the European normalization of it has to do with the age of our homes. Europe has a lot of very old buildings that don't have the kind of ventilation systems newer buildings in America have. Air really does get stale there in ways that it rarely does in most U.S. homes.

heat, cold, thermostat, air, fresh air, GermanyAir Conditioning Summer GIF by Cartoon NetworkGiphy

Americans are also accustomed to right-down-to-the-Fahrenheit-degree climate control in our homes. Not everyone, of course, but many Americans have full HVAC systems with heating and air conditioning that blows through ducts with air filters and return vents and whole house fans, which not only circulate the air but keep it exactly the temperature we prefer. Whole house air conditioning is much less common in Europe, and heating in older buildings is often radiant heat, fueled by natural gas that heats water that gets pumped into radiators. So naturally, using windows for air purification and ventilation would be more necessary in Europe than in the U.S. and sensitivity to indoor temperature fluctuations may be less pronounced.

Still, getting fresh air into our homes on a more regular basis isn't a bad idea, and experts recommend opening windows at least once a day for 5 to 10 minutes—yes, even in winter. Looks like we should follow Germany's lead on this one, fellow Americans.

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15 everyday American conveniences that feel like a 'luxury' to Europeans

Ah, the things we take for granted.

via Franchise Opportunities/Flickr and SridharSaraf/Flickr

Free soda refills, our National Parks system, and many more things Americans may not think of as luxuries.

Even though European countries and the Unites States are roughly on the same level development-wise, there are still some stark differences in their ways of life. Americans may look to Europe and feel a bit jealous over their free healthcare systems and more laid-back approach to their professional lives.

But Europeans who visit America are also in awe of some of the everyday things that Americans take for granted, which seem to be luxuries. A Reddit user asked Europeans to share the everyday American things that they believe are luxuries, and the question received nearly 13,000 responses.

sacha baron cohen america GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

Even if there are things we may envy about Europe, Europeans clearly admire many things about the American way of life.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Europeans of Reddit, what do Americans have every day that you see as a luxury?”

1. Disability access

"Disability access everywhere. I can go to any place -- theater, store, office, school, whatever -- with confidence that I'll be able to navigate fine in my wheelchair. They'll have ramps and/or elevators." — 5AgainstRhoneIsland

"Of all the things in this thread, the disability access is it IMO. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was an absolute game changer, and European countries and the EU as a whole should be embarrassed for not having something like it." — Jedrekk

wheelchair accessible, ada, americans with disabilities act, The U.S. is more wheelchair-friendly than many European nations that have older infrastructure.Photo credit: Canva

2. Climate changes

"You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate - move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather - move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather - move to the Southeast." — DachauPrince

"I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I'll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I've even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It's a magic state for wildlife biologists." — Skinsnax

3. Big kitchens

"Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one." — Granadafan

kitchen, large kitchen, american kitchen, european kitchenAmerican kitchens tend to be much larger than European kitchens.Photo credit: Canva

4. Square footage

"The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space." — Howiebledsoe

"The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There's a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn't the living room or the kid's bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room." — mcnunu

5. Free refills

"As an American, it's so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn't exactly a thing in many other parts of the world." — Gaveuptheghost

Refill, anyone?Giphy

6. National Parks

"There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be." — CactusBoyScout

7. A/C

"Americans pump it all summer long." — Websurfer49

air conditioningWe do love our A/C.Giphy

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

"Remember, the world's longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship." — Dervishler

"We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough." — TitanFox98

10. Big schools

"My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class." — Elephantepiphany

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

11. Free public bathrooms

"As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe." — QuotidianPain

12. Mexican food

"Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious." — punpun_Osa

tacos, mexican food, taco tuesdayTaco Tuesday!Giphy

13. Supermarkets

"Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I'm in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory when I enter one. There's so much stuff!" — Better protection

14. Big showers

"This stands out - I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn't spray water all over the bathroom." — IGNSolar7

15. Money

"There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment." — AnotherPint

money, bugs bunnyMany Americans don't realize how comparably well-off they are.Giphy

"In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can't." — ltlyellowcould

This article originally appeared last year.

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'It's all a lie': Woman who returned from Europe shares why life is much harder in the U.S.

Why work harder for a lower quality of life?

via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels

Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue is going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She moved back to the Boston area. Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned. Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

@kayshaynee

popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.

Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.


@kayshaynee

first weekend in amsterdam complete✨🇳🇱🫡 #americanabroad #dutchtiktok #thenetherlands #amsterdam #fyp #movingabroad

This article originally appeared last year.

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