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"80% less stress": Family with newborn reveals how life changed after they left America

"I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..."

Canva Photos

One family says living abroad with young kids has massively reduced their stress.

Most burnt-out parents I know have at least toyed with the idea of moving far, far away. You can only handle so many news stories of school shootings or eroding child labor laws in the US before you seriously start to think about what life could be like elsewhere.

And it's not even necessarily these drastic issues that are so worrying. It's the day to day: the high cost of childcare and living, the extremely fast pace of American life, and being horribly anxious that taking your kids out in public will bother someone's peace and quiet. It's all a lot, and it's taking a serious toll on American parents' mental health.

Marae and Roger Torrelier hit a tipping point when their five-year-old was getting ready to start school in the US. The two had lived in several different states, including far-away Alaska, but they were finally ready to try a different way of life.

The family of four now live in Malaga, Spain with their older child and a baby. Marae has been documenting the journey on social media and how it differs from their experience living in America.

For starters, they say they're way more comfortable being out and about with their kids in public.

"[In the US] we've encountered venues that even refuse children, whereas in Europe and Asia, children are welcomed almost everywhere," mom told Newsweek.

The family has found their new home in Spain to be far more family- and kid-friendly, not just in the design and policies of the cities, but in the way strangers interact and respond to children.

"Playgrounds have cafés so you can have a coffee, a meal or drink while the kids play. People often interact with our kids with kindness, neighbors know them and ask about them."

I remember visiting Italy with my then-4-year-old and being amazed at how relaxed I felt sitting in a piazza having a glass of wine while she wandered and played in the busy square. It's still one of my top overall memories!

In one viral clip on the family's TikTok, Marae admits "I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..." You know, baby does as babies do. But what the people around her did surprised the mom.

"The chef came out running to see 'the cute baby' and see if he could make her something to eat. Then he started showing her to the rest of the staff."

In the clip, the smiling chef can be seen playing with the baby before passing her off to another staff member, who is overjoyed to hold the little cutie.

@bravefamilytravel

The sweetest people 😭 #spaintravel #travelwithababy

"We’ve been outside of the US for less than a year and my stress levels have decreased by 80%," she writes in another post on Instagram.

In this clip, the family has popped on over to Italy for a visit, and a sweet old Italian man stops while passing by to smile and wave at the baby.

"When my baby cries I’m not afraid a stranger is gonna come and complain she’s being loud. Instead, they approach to see how they can help. When strangers approach I’m not afraid of what they’ll do but rather excited to see the interaction"

"This is the way it should be. We are social beings. This is the village. ... If you’re looking for a taste of what a child and family friendly society looks like, come to Italy."

There are a lot of things that make many other countries around the world, particularly in Europe, extremely appealing for families.

Kind people, and rude people, exist all over the world. Grumpy folks aren't unique to America. But some parts of the world just have better infrastructure for parents with young kids.

Places like Spain or Italy often have a slower way of life, more built-in time off for workers, better maternity and paternity leave, and childcare that is astronomically more affordable.

(In the United States, putting two or even just one child in full-time daycare so both parents can work costs about as much as a mortgage.)

@bravefamilytravel

we’ve been outside of the US for less than 2 months and my stress levels have decreased by 80%

Viewers and commenters love hearing about the family's journey, and have been quick to share their own stories of living and traveling abroad.

"In Singapore, the sweet Asian ladies took my baby out of my hands, a group of older women circled around her, and couldn’t believe she had blonde hair and blue eyes. It was absolutely such a sweet moment, and you could understand there was no threat."

"We hear a baby cry and we 1) Understand babies cry 2) Hope mum / dad isn't too stressed 3) we've all been there and 4) we remember our little ones"

"In italy we say "it takes a town to grow up a child". It's rare to see people not being kind to kids"

"You should visit Japan once. Babies are rare there because of population decline so they get such a celebrity status kinda love that its heart-rending."

@bravefamilytravel

Best decision ever 😂 says baby Atlas 👏

European countries aren't without their own problems. And believe it or not, there are lots of great communities and villages right here at home in America. You just have to put in a little extra effort to seek them out.

You may not feel comfortable letting your toddler loose in a busy city square here in America. But you can definitely cultivate a close group of family friends who live nearby, maybe even in walking distance.

And you can definitely be that person who offers to hold a crying baby or gives a reassuring smile to a tired parent who's worried they're bothering everyone.

You don't have to move halfway across the world to seek out a different way of life, or make a difference in other people's. But... it sure would be nice if America could make it a little easier sometimes.

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15 everyday American conveniences that feel like a 'luxury' to Europeans

Ah, the things we take for granted.

via Franchise Opportunities/Flickr and SridharSaraf/Flickr

Free soda refills, our National Parks system, and many more things Americans may not think of as luxuries.

Even though European countries and the Unites States are roughly on the same level development-wise, there are still some stark differences in their ways of life. Americans may look to Europe and feel a bit jealous over their free healthcare systems and more laid-back approach to their professional lives.

But Europeans who visit America are also in awe of some of the everyday things that Americans take for granted, which seem to be luxuries. A Reddit user asked Europeans to share the everyday American things that they believe are luxuries, and the question received nearly 13,000 responses.

sacha baron cohen america GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

Even if there are things we may envy about Europe, Europeans clearly admire many things about the American way of life.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Europeans of Reddit, what do Americans have every day that you see as a luxury?”

1. Disability access

"Disability access everywhere. I can go to any place -- theater, store, office, school, whatever -- with confidence that I'll be able to navigate fine in my wheelchair. They'll have ramps and/or elevators." — 5AgainstRhoneIsland

"Of all the things in this thread, the disability access is it IMO. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was an absolute game changer, and European countries and the EU as a whole should be embarrassed for not having something like it." — Jedrekk

wheelchair accessible, ada, americans with disabilities act, The U.S. is more wheelchair-friendly than many European nations that have older infrastructure.Photo credit: Canva

2. Climate changes

"You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate - move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather - move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather - move to the Southeast." — DachauPrince

"I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I'll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I've even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It's a magic state for wildlife biologists." — Skinsnax

3. Big kitchens

"Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one." — Granadafan

kitchen, large kitchen, american kitchen, european kitchenAmerican kitchens tend to be much larger than European kitchens.Photo credit: Canva

4. Square footage

"The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space." — Howiebledsoe

"The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There's a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn't the living room or the kid's bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room." — mcnunu

5. Free refills

"As an American, it's so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn't exactly a thing in many other parts of the world." — Gaveuptheghost

Refill, anyone?Giphy

6. National Parks

"There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be." — CactusBoyScout

7. A/C

"Americans pump it all summer long." — Websurfer49

air conditioningWe do love our A/C.Giphy

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

"Remember, the world's longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship." — Dervishler

"We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough." — TitanFox98

10. Big schools

"My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class." — Elephantepiphany

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

11. Free public bathrooms

"As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe." — QuotidianPain

12. Mexican food

"Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious." — punpun_Osa

tacos, mexican food, taco tuesdayTaco Tuesday!Giphy

13. Supermarkets

"Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I'm in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory when I enter one. There's so much stuff!" — Better protection

14. Big showers

"This stands out - I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn't spray water all over the bathroom." — IGNSolar7

15. Money

"There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment." — AnotherPint

money, bugs bunnyMany Americans don't realize how comparably well-off they are.Giphy

"In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can't." — ltlyellowcould

This article originally appeared last year.

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Democracy

'It's all a lie': Woman who returned from Europe shares why life is much harder in the U.S.

Why work harder for a lower quality of life?

via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels

Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue is going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She moved back to the Boston area. Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned. Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

@kayshaynee

popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.

Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.


@kayshaynee

first weekend in amsterdam complete✨🇳🇱🫡 #americanabroad #dutchtiktok #thenetherlands #amsterdam #fyp #movingabroad

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

British man in U.S. explains why Americans aren’t 'well-traveled’ and it’s so true

“I don’t think people really understand the size and scale of America.”

Glacier National Park (Michael Kirsh/Unsplash), Badlands (Jéan Béller/Unsplash), Key West (Meriç Dağlı/Unsplash)

All three of these places are in the continental United States.

Americans are known for many things, some of which are mostly true (we do tend to be open and friendly, though not all of us are) and some of which are exaggerated stereotypes (we're not all obsessed with guns, though some of us are).

But one stereotype that isn't exaggerated is that Americans aren't as "well-traveled" as our friends across the pond—at least not in the international sense. The United States has an overall level of wealth that enables many citizens to travel to other countries, but Americans are less likely to be traveled internationally than Europeans—a reality that might make some assume Americans just aren't compelled to travel as much.

However, as Joshua Cauldwell, a man from the United Kingdom staying in the U.S. explains, it's a misnomer that Americans aren't well-traveled.

"Brit in America here," he begins in response to a video about Europeans complaining that Americans aren't well-traveled and can't point out Switzerland on a map.

"I now know why Americans aren't 'well-traveled,'" Cauldwell says. "Trust me, they are well-traveled, but there's a reason why. I've spent many months in America like actively trying to get to as many states as possible in America, and I haven't even scratched the surface. American's don't need to venture outside America because America is that big. Americans go on vacation in America."

Cauldwell goes on to explain that in the U.K. you can get to France, Germany or Amsterdam in about 45 minutes.

"I just don't think Europeans are clued upon how big America really is," he says.

Watch:

He's not wrong. A lot of Americans don't have passports, even if they travel a lot. The U.S. has 50 different states—more states than Europe has countries—that are comparable in size to European nations. And the geographic diversity between those states is is mind-boggling.

Compare the Olympic Rainforest in Washington to The Badlands in South Dakota and they look like different planets. You can travel around the U.S. and experience mountains, deserts, plains, deciduous forests, coniferous forests, saguaro cactus forests, oceans, lakes that feel like oceans, rolling hills, glaciers, swamps, canyons, palm trees on tropical white sand beaches, moss-covered trees on ocean cliff sides and more. There are 63 official National Parks and 429 total National Park Sites (federally protected places of historical or geographical significance, which include the National Parks) in the U.S., so even just trying to go see all of those places alone could take the better part of a lifetime, even for an avid traveler.

In other words, he's right. There's so much to travel to and see in the U.S., it's not necessary to leave the country to have many unique, interesting and beautiful travel holidays. That's not to say Americans shouldn't travel to other countries simply because there's so much to see at home, of course. There's arguably more cultural diversity throughout the U.S. than many people realize, but it's not the same as going to another country. Certainly, there's value in experiencing the cultural richness that comes with traveling internationally.

But for Europeans, traveling internationally is much easier, more affordable and more accessible than it is for Americans. The U.S. is only about 4% smaller than the entirety of Europe, so it's a bit silly to say that Americans aren't "well-traveled" if they've not visited multiple countries. Distance and convenience-wise, traveling around the U.S. is similar to traveling around Europe, and well…it's just nice to see it acknowledged by someone from outside the country.

You can follow Joshua Cauldwell's American adventures on Instagram.

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