upworthy

double standards

Modern Families

Seth Rogen was asked a question about being childfree that men never hear. He answered honestly.

“I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I've seen, honestly,” he said.

Seth Rogen on stage during the opening night of Collision 2019 at Enercare Center in Toronto, Canada.

Childless women in the public eye are often plagued by the question: “So, why don’t you have any children?” It’s a deeply personal question that cuts right to the bone, and there can be many answers. But, if the woman doesn’t want children and says so publicly, she is bound to face some judgment.

"[I don't] like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women—that you've failed yourself as a female because you haven't procreated. I don't think it's fair," Jennifer Aniston told Allure. "You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn't mean you aren't mothering—dogs, friends, friends' children."

On the Monday, March 6 episode of “The Diary Of A CEO” podcast, host Steven Bartlett asked actor Seth Rogen why he’s childless, and it was a rare moment where a man in the public eye was challenged on the topic. Rogen gave a thoughtful explanation for his and Lauren Miller’s decision to be child-free.

Rogen and Miller were married in 2011.

seth rogen, seth rogen kids, set rogen comicon, set rogen wife, seth rogen family, actorsSeth Rogen speaking at the 2016 San Diego Comic Con International, for "Preacher", at the San Diego Convention Center in San Diego, California.via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

“There's a whole huge thing I'm not doing, which is raising children,” Rogen told Bartlett. The host attempted to play devil’s advocate and asked Rogen if he considered whether having children might have made him and his wife “happier.”

“I don't think it would,” Rogen responded.

Then, as if anticipating the question, the “Pineapple Express” star upended one of the arguments that people who have children often make: that people who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like.

“I've been around obviously a lot of children; I'm not ignorant to what it’s like…Everyone I know has kids. I'm 40, you know? I know,” Rogen said. “Some of my friends have had kids for decades. Some people want kids, some people don't want kids.” He added that many people seem to have kids without considering the issue.

“I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I've seen, honestly,” he said. “You just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids—it’s what happens.” Rogen and his wife have only grown stronger in their decision and they believe that it has helped their relationship.

“Now, more than anything, the conversation is like, ‘Honestly, thank God we don’t have children,’” he continued. “We get to do whatever we want. We are in the prime of our lives. We are smarter than we've ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another that we've never been able to live before. And we can just do that, and we don't have to raise a child—which the world does not need right now,” Rogen concluded.

lauren miller, seth rogen, lauren miller husband, seth rogen wife, childfree, golden globesSeth Rogen and Lauren Miller at the 69th Annual Gold Gen Globes Awards.via JDeeringDavis/Wikimedia Commons

Rogen received a lot of pushback for his comments, and two years later, in an interview with Esquire, he addressed the criticism and doubled down on his decision. “People really had strong takes on it, being like, ‘F**k this f**king guy,'" he said. “Well, if you hate me that much, why do you want more of me?” He also addressed those who asked, "Who's going to care for you when you get older?"

“Is that why you’re having kids? Because I have two things to say: One, that’s very selfish to create a human so someone can take care of you. And two, just because you have a kid, I hate to break it to you, that doesn’t mean they’re going to do that,” he said.

Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to have children, and no one has the right to judge them. Rogen and Miller have thought their decision through and should be applauded for living how they see fit. It’s cool to see Rogen with such a thoughtful opinion on the matter. It’d be even cooler if celebrities never had to discuss the topic in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Most Shared

Hillary Clinton is a worried American and 6 other things we learned today.

Her interview was a highlight of the Women in the World Summit's second day.

In the nearly five months since the 2016 presidential election, Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton has kept a relatively low profile. On Thursday, she gave her first interview.

In a candid sit-down with Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times at the annual Women in the World Summit, the twice-elected U.S. senator and former secretary of state touched on everything ranging from the role Russia played in the election to whether she plans on running for office again.


Photo by AP Photo/Mary Altaffer.

On the aftermath of the election, coping with loss, and deciding to move forward:

"I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. The aftermath of the election was so devastating, and everything that has come to light in the days and weeks since have been also troubling. So I just had to make up my mind that yes, I was going to get out of bed, and yes, I was going to go for a lot of long walks in the woods, and I was going to see my grandchildren a lot and spend time with my family and my friends. ... So, I'm OK. I will put it this way: as a person, I'm OK; as an American, I'm pretty worried."

On what it was like to be the first woman nominated by a major party only to lose to a man who bragged about sexual assault:

"Certainly, misogyny played a role. I mean, that just has to be admitted. And why and what the underlying reasons were is what I'm trying to parse out myself."

"I think in this election there was a very real struggle between what is viewed as change that is welcomed and exciting to so many Americans, and change which is worrisome and threatening to so many others. And you layer on the first woman president over that and I think some people, women included, had real problems."

Photo by AP Photo/Mary Altaffer.

On double standards and why young women shouldn't give up:

"We need more young people, and we particularly need young women. ... With men, success and ambition are correlated with likability, so the more successful a man is, the more likable he is. With a women, it's the exact opposite."

On why Congress should think twice before gutting women's health care:

"'Why do we have to cover maternal care?' Well, I don't know, maybe you were dropped by immaculate conception?" she joked.

"This is in our national security interest," she added later, stressing the importance of making sure women have access to reproductive health care around the world. "The more we support women, the more we support democracy."

On one of her favorite memes in the post-election world:

She thought the photo of men discussing how they planned to obliterate women's health care was pretty ridiculous, too.

On criticism coming from supporters or detractors:

"Toughen up your skin. Take criticism seriously, but not personally. ... I am always open to people saying, 'Oh, you should have done that.' Sometimes I don't know how to fix what they're concerned about, but I try. So I take it seriously, but I don't any longer ... take it personally. Because part of the attacks, the personal attacks, part of the bullying, part of the name-calling that has certainly become much more pervasive because of the internet, is to crush your spirit and to make you feel inadequate; to make you doubt yourself. And I just refuse to do that."

Photo by AP Photo/Mary Altaffer.

Finally, on whether she'll ever run for office again:

"I am looking at doing interesting things. I don't think that will include ever running for office again. ... I think there are lots of ways to make a difference, to work in all sectors of our society — the for-profit, the not-for profit — looking for ways that you can help people live their own lives better, tell their own stories better. ... I am committed to the unfinished business of the 21st century: the rights of women and girls."

Most Shared

17 amazing women who probably aren't in history books, but should be.

Some women won't be found in history books. Don't let them be forgotten.

True
PBS Victoria

In 1968, Shirley Chisholm became the first African-American woman elected to Congress in U.S. history. Four years later, she ran for president.

It's a bit embarrassing, but I'll admit that her name didn't immediately ring a bell to me. Growing up, even as a self-described history buff, I don't recall ever seeing Chisholm's name in a textbook. That's a problem.

But that was before I came across Rori, a cartoonist and freelance illustrator, and her "100 Days, 100 Women" project that was inspired by Chisholm's forgotten place in history.


‌Shirley Chisholm. All illustrations courtesy of Rori.‌

"She's not well known," Rori writes in an email, talking about Chisholm. "That's a shame, but really common."

"100 Days, 100 Women" is dedicated to shining a light on powerful women from history who don't get the recognition they deserve — through comics.

"People do great things and history forgets them," writes Rori. "Maybe their story is seen as a sidenote, or doesn't fit smoothly into the narrative."

She's right too. For the longest time, recorded history revolved around men — or at least that's the way it's been portrayed in books that were, almost certainly by no coincidence, written by men. Quietly, though, women have been leaving their mark on the world, and it's time they got their due.

That's where Rori comes in.

‌Sybil Ludington and Tammy Duckworth‌‌Lady Triệu and Anita Hill‌

The project is Rori's way of giving back to young girls who are searching for their own role models.

Growing up, Rori was drawn to the stories that make up our forgotten history. Sure, there have been powerful female role models to look up to, but Rori felt as though there simply weren't enough who were visible and well-known. With this spark of curiosity and purpose, she set off on learning about some of the women time forgot.

"The more I found figures that truly resonated with me, the more confident and inspired I felt!" she wrote.

‌Juana Galán and Nellie Bly‌

The parameters were simple: highlight women in history, the lesser known the better. After starting with around 50 names, the list quickly ballooned to over 150. With so many inspirational women to highlight, some of the more well-known figures (for example, Joan of Arc) wound up on the cutting room floor.

‌Wilma Mankiller and Ida B. Wells‌

Each comic is accompanied by a brief explanation of what historical contribution that woman made along with a link to some further reading. It's a bite-size history lesson perfect for parents, teachers, and students alike.

The list is a work in progress. The only names truly set are the ones that have been drawn already.

So far, Rori's put the finishing touches on around 35 portraits, including civil rights activists (such as Dolores Huerta and Ida B. Wells), the first woman in space (Valentina Tereshkova), pioneers in arts and music (Artemisia Gentileschi and Wendy Carlos), and politicians (former prime minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto).

‌Josephine Baker and Lucy Gonzalez Parsons‌‌Benazir Bhutto and Hypatia‌

To keep up with Rori's ongoing list of 100 Days, 100 Women, you can follow her on social media. She posts updates to Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook, and she gives special sneak peeks through her Patreon profile.

‌Kumander Guerrero and "Stagecoach" Mary Fields‌‌Rumiko Takahashi and Queen Liliʻuokalani‌

With any hope, Rori's project will inspire a renewed interest in women's history, opening up an entire new universe of role models for young minds.

In 1968, Shirley Chisholm became the first African-American woman elected to Congress in U.S. history. Four years later, she ran for president.

It's a bit embarrassing, but I'll admit that her name didn't immediately ring a bell to me. Growing up, even as a self-described history buff, I don't recall ever seeing Chisholm's name in a textbook. That's a problem.

But that was before I came across Rori, a cartoonist and freelance illustrator, and her "100 Days, 100 Women" project that was inspired by Chisholm's forgotten place in history.

‌Shirley Chisholm. All illustrations courtesy of Rori.‌

"She's not well known," Rori writes in an email, talking about Chisholm. "That's a shame, but really common."

"100 Days, 100 Women" is dedicated to shining a light on powerful women from history who don't get the recognition they deserve — through comics.

"People do great things and history forgets them," writes Rori. "Maybe their story is seen as a sidenote, or doesn't fit smoothly into the narrative."

She's right too. For the longest time, recorded history revolved around men — or at least that's the way it's been portrayed in books that were, almost certainly by no coincidence, written by men. Quietly, though, women have been leaving their mark on the world, and it's time they got their due.

That's where Rori comes in.

‌Sybil Ludington and Tammy Duckworth‌‌Lady Triệu and Anita Hill‌

The project is Rori's way of giving back to young girls who are searching for their own role models.

Growing up, Rori was drawn to the stories that make up our forgotten history. Sure, there have been powerful female role models to look up to, but Rori felt as though there simply weren't enough who were visible and well-known. With this spark of curiosity and purpose, she set off on learning about some of the women time forgot.

"The more I found figures that truly resonated with me, the more confident and inspired I felt!" she wrote.

‌Juana Galán and Nellie Bly‌

The parameters were simple: highlight women in history, the lesser known the better. After starting with around 50 names, the list quickly ballooned to over 150. With so many inspirational women to highlight, some of the more well-known figures (for example, Joan of Arc) wound up on the cutting room floor.

‌Wilma Mankiller and Ida B. Wells‌

Each comic is accompanied by a brief explanation of what historical contribution that woman made along with a link to some further reading. It's a bite-size history lesson perfect for parents, teachers, and students alike.

The list is a work in progress. The only names truly set are the ones that have been drawn already.

So far, Rori's put the finishing touches on around 35 portraits, including civil rights activists (such as Dolores Huerta and Ida B. Wells), the first woman in space (Valentina Tereshkova), pioneers in arts and music (Artemisia Gentileschi and Wendy Carlos), and politicians (former prime minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto).

‌Josephine Baker and Lucy Gonzalez Parsons‌‌Benazir Bhutto and Hypatia‌

To keep up with Rori's ongoing list of 100 Days, 100 Women, you can follow her on social media. She posts updates to Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook, and she gives special sneak peeks through her Patreon profile.

‌Kumander Guerrero and "Stagecoach" Mary Fields‌‌Rumiko Takahashi and Queen Liliʻuokalani‌

With any hope, Rori's project will inspire a renewed interest in women's history, opening up an entire new universe of role models for young minds.

Humans of New York, the popular photo blog you've probably seen on  Facebook, did something a bit unusual on Sept. 8, 2016.

It featured Hillary Clinton.

“I was taking a law school admissions test in a big classroom at Harvard. My friend and I were some of the only women...


Posted by Humans of New York on Thursday, September 8, 2016

The move was pretty out of the ordinary for Humans of New York (HONY), as the series typically stays away from the muddy waters of U.S. politics.

And although you could argue Clinton's inclusion on HONY was political — everything a candidate does in the gleam of the spotlight is political, after all — the post still struck a chord with women of varied political leanings who can relate.

In the post, Clinton opens up about an experience she had in college when classmates tried intimidating her out of taking a test.

"While we’re waiting for the exam to start, a group of men began to yell things like: ‘You don’t need to be here.’ And ‘There’s plenty else you can do.’ It turned into a real ‘pile on,'" Clinton explained in the post. "One of them even said: ‘If you take my spot, I’ll get drafted, and I’ll go to Vietnam, and I'll die.’ And they weren’t kidding around."

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

Clinton goes on to explain it was moments like these that taught her, as a woman, she needed to be extra careful in handling her emotions publicly.

It speaks to the double standards often applied to women when it comes to how they should express themselves and their emotions (double standards that, by the way, also hurt men too).

The best part about Clinton's post, however, was how it resonated with other women online.

Many of the commenters were't too kind, as you can imagine.

But there were also many notes from women chiming in on the fact that, regardless of how you feel about Clinton the candidate, her experience shines a light on the type of sexism half the population still has to deal with all the time.

Like how society's mixed messages on how women should think and act can create impossible standards to uphold.

Or how — even to commenters who aren't fans of Clinton — the candidate's firsthand experience hits very close to home.

Of course, in Clinton's case, these double standards have been thrown into a spotlight for the world to see. And it's not pretty.

Other commenters noted how double standards affect all of our perceptions, oftentimes in subconscious ways.

And some gave a shoutout to the women who overcome this type of treatment and keep going.  

Clinton's HONY story was impactful because, in a certain sense, it wasn't really about her at all.

People with various political leanings were able to empathize with what she went through. They know how these double standards have affected their own lives in very real ways.

Thousands of people were able to connect with one another over shared experiences in a single Facebook thread. And it had little to do with the candidate who started the conversation.

Clinton's story got to the heart of a much bigger message: We all have emotions, and we should all be free to express them however we choose — regardless of our gender (or the office we're running for).