An ongoing list of 'good kids' and 'thugs,' according to Fox News and Trump.

My exhaustive, tireless attempt to investigate the difference.

I'm trying to get to the bottom of the mystery.

You see, when a trove of previously unreleased court documents revealed that former Trump foreign policy adviser George Papadopoulos had given false testimony to investigators about his contacts with Russian operatives during the campaign, Fox News' Sean Hannity attempted to exculpate the ex-aide by emphasizing his tender age: 29.

I get it. We all make mistakes in our youth. Some of us drink a little too much. Others of us wreck our dad's motorcycle. Still others of us mislead FBI agents about our illegal interactions with foreign governments. It happens.


Yet, according to Fox News, some adults who do wrong things — like Papadopoulos — are "good kids," while some actual kids (and adults) who have had wrong things done to them are irredeemable, no-good "thugs."

It's a fascinating dichotomy. There just has to be some kind of pattern to it all. But I just can't figure out what.

Here's a partial catalog so far. It's a puzzle! An enigma! A labyrinth inside of a Rubik's Cube inside of a snake eating its own tail!

George Papadopoulos, 29, pleaded guilty to lying to federal officers: good kid!

Photo via George Papadopoulos/LinkedIn.

"George Papadopoulos. He admitted, OK, that he lied to the FBI. I think he is 29 years old." — Sean Hannity, "Hannity," Oct. 30, 2017.

Trayvon Martin, 17, shot dead by rogue neighborhood watch volunteer: thug.

Photo by Allison Joyce/Getty Images

"You dress like a thug, people are going to treat you like a thug." — Geraldo Rivera, "Fox & Friends," July 15, 2013.

Jared Kushner, 36, attended meeting with representatives of the Russian government, ostensibly to acquire dirt on Hillary Clinton:  good kid!

Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images.

"Kushner looks like a high school senior. Hard to believe he's fixing elections with Putin. In fact, impossible to believe. Sorry, CNN." — Bill O'Reilly, Twitter, July 24, 2017.

Michael Brown, 18, shot dead by Ferguson, Missouri, police officer: thug.

Photo by Elcardo Anthony.

"[Democrats] want to stir up this racial division within the inner-city communities, and that's why they're going to feature Michael Brown's mother [at the Democratic National Convention]. Michael Brown was a thug." — Allen West, "On the Record" with Greta Van Susteren, July 26, 2016.

Donald Trump Jr., 39, helped organize aforementioned meeting with representatives of the Russian government reportedly to acquire dirt on Hillary Clinton: good kid!

Photo by Saul Loeb/Getty Images.

"Don is — as many of you know Don — he's a good boy. He's a good kid. And he had a meeting; nothing happened with the meeting." — Donald Trump, July 13, 2017.

The rapper Common, 45, rapped: thug.

Photo by Jeff Schear/Getty Images.

"President Obama last week said he wanted to recapture that special moment we had after 9/11. And here [a] week later, we have an example of how this White House can recapture that moment by inviting a thug to the White House." — Karl Rove, "Hannity," May 10, 2011.  

Donald Trump, 71, bragged about committing sexual assault on tape: good kid!

Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images.

"This ['Access Hollywood' tape] was locker-room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago." — Donald Trump, Oct. 8, 2016.

Dajerria Becton, 14, body-slammed and arrested by local police after swimming in a pool: thug.

Image via Fox-4 Dallas-Fort Worth/YouTube.

"The girl was no saint either. He had told her to leave, and she continued to linger. And when the cop tells you to leave, get out." — Megyn Kelly, "The Kelly File," June 9, 2015.

I haven't given up. I'm going to keep updating this list of "good kids" until we figure this out.

Maybe one day it'll come to me in a flash of brilliant light.

White light, most likely.

Keep checking back for updates as I continue to try and parse this impossible puzzle!

More
The Guardian / YouTube

Earlier this month, a beluga whale caught the world's attention by playing fetch with a rugby ball thrown by South African researchers off the waters of Norway.

The adorable video has been watched over 20 million times, promoting people across the globe to wonder how the whale became so comfortable around humans.

It's believed that the whale, known as Hvaldimir, was at some point, trained by the Russian military and was either released or escaped.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Facebook / Maverick Austin

Your first period is always a weird one. You know it's going to happen eventually, but you're not always expecting it. One day, everything is normal, then BAM. Puberty hits you in a way you can't ignore.

One dad is getting attention for the incredibly supportive way he handled his daughter's first period. "So today I got 'The Call,'" Maverick Austin started out a Facebook post that has now gone viral.

The only thing is, Austin didn't know he got "the call." His 13-year-old thought she pooped her pants. At that age, your body makes no sense whatsoever. It's a miracle every time you even think you know what's going on.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Instagram / Katie Sturino

Plus-size women are in the majority. In America, 68% of women wear a size 14 or higher. Yet many plus-sized are ignored by the fashion industry. Plus-sized clothing is a $21 billion industry, however only one-fifth of clothing sales are plus-sized. On top of that, plus-sized women are often body shamed, further reinforcing that bigger body types are not mainstream despite the fact that it is common.

Plus-size fashion blogger Katie Sturino recently called out her body shamers. Sturino runs the blog, The 12ish Style, showing that plus-sized fashion isn't – and shouldn't be – limited to clothes that hide the body.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
via Twitter / Soraya

There is a strange right-wing logic that suggests when minorities fight for equal rights it's somehow a threat to the rights already held by those in the majority or who hold power.

Like when the Black Lives Matter movement started, many on the right claimed that fighting for black people to be treated equally somehow meant that other people's lives were not as valuable, leading to the short-lived All Lives Matter movement.

This same "oppressed majority" logic is behind the new Straight Pride movement which made headlines in August after its march through the streets of Boston.

Keep Reading Show less
popular