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Health

Breakthrough approach to therapy is helping people turn trauma into 5-minute comedy sets

Laughter really is the best medicine

stand up comedy for men at risk of suicide
Photo by Michel Grolet on Unsplash

Don't mind me, just healing my trauma up here

Stand up comedy seems easy, but it's not. First, there’s the arduous task of actually creating material–being able to look at life through a certain lens, then having enough skill to translate that perspective into jokes that actually land. Plus there’s the whole bearing-your-soul-to-a-room-full-of-strangers aspect, one of the most common fears known to man.

Giphy

These factors combined perhaps don’t seem like a recipe for helping mental health, but as it turns out, stand-up comedy is proving to be a powerfully effective therapy tool. Just ask Angie Belcher, founder of Comedy on Referral.

Belcher has taught comedy for a decade, and over the years students would comment how much “stronger, more resilient and happier they were after exploring their personal histories through stand-up comedy.” It not only helped change their perspective, but sharing it all on stage put them in a “powerful position” to change their narrative of painful memories…possibly inspiring others to do the same.

“As a comedian, you could be the reason why someone in your audience does something differently,” Belcher told The Guardian

Comedy of Referral is a six-week program that allows people to process traumatic experiences by turning them into five minute comedy sets. Similar to the way art therapy helps explore difficult emotions through different mediums, students navigate personal issues through the use of theater games, as well as group and one-on-one work as they channel their “comedic persona." Participants are supported by psychologists in order to avoid triggering any past trauma.

two man laughing at each otherPhoto by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

Watching comedy has long been researched and documented as a constructive way to cope with tragedy. Laughter itself produces endorphins that help release stress. It inspires empathy and connection. It can even help reduce stigmas surrounding certain mental health conditions. The Comedy on Referral program is proving that creating comedy can be just as helpful as consuming it. Their website claims that through stand-up coaching, trauma can become “more manageable as the story becomes one of validation and redemption rather than an unpleasant experience.”

The theory appears to be spot on. After a highly successful trial NHS-course for trauma survivors in Bristol, England, London’s NHS (National Health Service) has agreed to fund Comedy on Referral so that private practices throughout the country can prescribe the course to men at risk of suicide. Lourdes Colclough, head of suicide prevention at Rethink Mental Illness, noted that this demographic is an especially “hard-to-reach group.”

“Even though they’ve been diagnosed, [they] don’t think they have an issue and so won’t go to counseling or attend anything signposted [as] ‘suicide prevention’,” she reflected. But this is exactly the kind of challenge that Comedy on Referral is designed for. The unique curriculum uses creativity and humor to help people not only feel comfortable enough to open up, but come out being able to experience their life in a more empowering way.

Humor can be the friend we need when life gets hard. In times of uncertainty, crisis, and despair, it can uplift us from the inside out, and remind us that joy is a basic human need.

“I hope that participants will use what they learn on the course in their practical everyday life, so that they go into future endeavors with joy, hopefulness and playfulness rather than taking out their bully teenager-persona or their depressed 20-something persona or their grieving mother-persona or whatever it is,” said Belcher.

Comedy of Referral has plans to support as many people as possible. In addition, Belcher is also in talks to extend the program to young people with autism and ADHD, the Guardian reported.

Through programs like Comedy on Referral, people can learn to harness humor for themselves, and in the process become resilient, hopeful, and of course, funnier. Not a bad trade-off.

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History (Education)

The fascinating reason people looked much older in the past than they do today

Why did teenagers look like they were in their mid-30s?

via Vsauce/YouTube

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging productsBuddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. upload.wikimedia.org

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products30 going on 60…media3.giphy.com

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person's name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces "match" their names tend to be better perceived.

Basically, this 22-minute video is chalked full of fascinating tidbits. Give it a watch below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. "Tweakments," like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever—not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it's hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can't wait to see bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Community

Texas dad and son have first encounter with a trans woman, and dad sets a powerful example

It's a simple message that speaks volumes.

@oddragon226/TikTok

Sometimes allyship is simple

Now more than ever, the transgender community needs support. Particularly in conservative states in Texas, where bills that would dictate bathroom use, restrict funding for surgeries, and most recently, charge transgender people with “gender identity fraud," have been filed. Even if all of these proposed bills failed, damage has been done as it only fuels bigotry and extremism, endangering the marginalized individuals living in these areas.

Still, even if your heart is in the right place, it can be hard to know the best or most feasible way to even show up as an ally. And that's the beauty of this story. Sometimes it really is a simple matter to accept people as they are and treat all humans with dignity, kindness and respect, even if we don't fully understand them.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

A dad shared his first encounter with a transgender woman in his small Texas town, and the simple lesson he taught his son inspired hope in others. James Eric Barlow (oddragon226 on TikTok) shared a video from his car describing how he and his son saw a trans woman in real life for the first time.

"We all know that there's people that are disgusted whenever they see a trans person," Barlow began. "And we all know of the people who don't care if they see a trans person. "But apparently, we're a third type of person (or at least I am, I can't speak for him)," he says, indicating his son in the backseat who chimes in with "I am, too!"

Barlow went on to explain how they had just had their first experience with a trans woman. It wasn't anything major—she just walked through a door behind them and Barlow held the door for her, just as he would any other person. He didn't even notice she was trans at first, but once he did, his immediate reaction was one we can all learn from.

"When I tell you how happy it made me," he said, beginning to tear up, "to be able to see somebody be out and open to the world here in small town Texas. You just gotta know how much bravery that takes. Right, Mikey?"

"Hell yeah!" the son agreed.

Barlow wanted to say something to her, but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, either.

"But if you're a trans woman and you came here to the Landmark truck stop in Clyde, Texas, just know we're proud of you," he concluded.

@oddragon226 our first trans woman experience #trans #transwoman #transpeoplearepeople #transrights #translivesnatter ♬ original sound - oddragon neckbeard

Barlow's video was shared on Reddit, where it's received a slew of views and comments that prove parents set the tone for their kids' sense of acceptance.

"Indoctrinate your children with kindness, compassion, consideration and respect for others." - Toddthmpsn

"When I was younger I would get my hair cut by a woman named Liz. She spoke Spanish so it was hard for to understand her English sometimes. My dad spoke Spanish so would translate for her and me. I noticed Liz looked a little different then other women. But I never said anything, I never felt any differently about her. She never scared me, or made me question anything. She was just Liz. As I got older I realized she was a trans woman. And it literally changed nothing. She was still just Liz. Liz was always kind and treated everyone warmly. I havnt seen her in years but I hope she is doing well. I really liked her." - PerplexedPoppy

"This literally happened to me as a child in the 80s. A cashier at a store we visited suddenly started dressing in a feminine style and it appeared that they were transitioning. My mom explained to me in an age appropriate way that sometimes people decide they want to be a man instead of a woman, or a woman instead of a man. She told me that people would probably be mean to the cashier and it was important for us to remember that and always be polite to her, as we would anyway. This was way before trans issues were as mainstream as they are now, but my mom had seen an episode of Phil Donahue where trans woman discussed their stories, and she recognized it as a medical issue. Core memory for me." - ZipCity262

"As a trans woman, im deathly afraid whenever I have to go to rural areas. I can instantly feel physical tension when I walk into a gas station or a restaurant in these areas. Thank you for being supportive. Trans people need you now more than ever." – rainbow_lenses

As this dad and son showed, it's a simple matter to demonstrate non-judgmental acceptance in front of our kids so they hopefully will grow up without being bound by chains of bigotry they'll later have to learn to unload.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Education

One teacher's simple, disgusting experiment drives home the importance of hand washing

"Hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!"

Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

Simple. Disgusting. Informative.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in preventing the spread of illnesses and infections in hospitals was embarrassingly simple: hand washing. In 1846, Hungarian physician Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that hand washing played a vital role in the spread of germs, and the practice soon became mandatory in hospitals. The simple act of scrubbing hands with soap and water literally saved lives.

Getting a kid to wash their hands, however, can be an uphill battle. While it's a common thing kids (don't) do, global perspective on the importance and effectiveness of hand washing has risen since the COVID-19 pandemic. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in 2023, before the emergence of COVID-19, a survey found that only about 36% of people always washed their hands with soap, 48% sometimes used soap, and an unsettling 16% of respondents said they wash without soap. After COVID-19 emerged, however, more than 72% of respondents reported using soap every time they washed their hands. There's nothing like a pandemic (and perhaps the reality of FAFO) to strike fear into the hearts of those chronic under washers, but in 2019, one teacher did a simple experiment to show her students just how important hand washing is.

"We did a science project in class this last month as flu season was starting," teacher Dayna Robertson and classroom behavioral specialist Jaralee Metcalf wrote on Facebook. "We took fresh bread and touched it. We did one slice untouched. One with unwashed hands. One with hand sanitizer. One with washed hands with warm water and soap. Then we decided to rub a piece on all our classroom Chromebooks." Robertson later noted that they normally do make a point to sanitize the classroom Chromebooks, but didn't that day in the name of science.

science, experiment, dexter's lab, cartoon, kids, hygiene Dexters Laboratory What A Fine Day For Science GIFGiphy

The bread was put into plastic bags and the germs were left to fester. The bread that had been touched by unwashed hands and the bread that had touched the Chromebook had the most mold. The bread that had been touched by hands washed with soap and water remained (relatively) good enough to eat.

This experiment has been done before, but Robertson expanded on it by testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer. The bread that had been touched by hands cleaned with sanitizer also had a fair amount of mold on it, although not as much as the bread touched by unwashed hands.

bread, mold, experiment, education, hand washing, cleanlinessThe bread doesn't lie. Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

"As somebody who is sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired," Robertson wrote, "wash your hands! Remind your kids to wash their hands! And hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!! At all!" It's kind of making us retroactively gag over seeing port-a-potties with hand sanitizer set up in lieu of sinks.

The experiment was prompted by a different science lesson. "We had just finished a science lesson on how leaves break down during winter. The kids were kind of grossed out by the mold, so we decided to run our own version using germs and mold from our own environment," Robertson told Scary Mommy.

Weirdly, the classroom experiment received some criticism. "Lots of people actually DEFENDED not washing their hands!" Robertson told Scary Mommy. "That was shocking! It really was just a simple classroom experiment to teach about mold but we have all learned more about how easily we can spread the germs we can't see."

In the 2019 lens, this lesson being about mold seems simple enough. All of us here in 2025, though, blessed (or cursed) with the experience of the pandemic, know that washing your hands really is as life-saving as Semmelweis proved nearly two centuries ago. Research done in 2020 and published in PubMed showed that individuals who washed their hands consistently were more likely to have lower rates of COVID-19 infection. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2024, hand washing also reduces respiratory illness like colds and flu in the general population by 16-21%, and reduces the number of people with diarrheal illnesses by 23-40%.

And to be sure, how we wash our hands is incredibly important. A quick rinse without scrubbing won't do the trick. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the proper technique for handwashing is to wet your hands, apply soap, and then run your soapy hands under the stream while rotating, rubbing, and scrubbing every inch of your hands for at least 20 seconds. Usually you can hit that mark by singing "Happy Birthday" twice. Then, rinse. When you're done, dry your hands with a clean towel. Check out this demonstration from the CDC:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The moral of the story is, please, please remember to always wash your hands. It really makes a difference.

This article originally appeared six years ago. It has been updated.

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Motherhood

Stay-at-home mom shares the frustrating thing it took 8 years to learn about her role

"What’s a safe and secure childhood worth? Nothing technically, but also the entire world."

via EclecticHomeSchooling/TikTok (used with permission)

Syd explains one of the most frustrating parts of being a stay-at-home-mom.

There are many ways for people with careers to feel validated. You can get a raise, a promotion, a great review from your manager, or a professional award. You can also be someone respected in your profession and a mentor to younger people entering your field. These forms of validation help someone feel valuable and accomplished and are all tangible in some way. You can say, "I’m now the vice president of manufacturing," "I won the Excellence in Sales Award," or "I have a larger number on my paycheck."

Syd, a stay-at-home mom named @eclectichomeschooling on TikTok, shared that, unfortunately, moms who work in the home have a hard time finding that same feeling of validation.

stay-at-home mom, motherhoodHow do you measure success as a stay-at-home mom?Giphy

“Something that I think that a lot of people don’t realize about being a stay-at-home mom, whether you are a homeschool mom or your kids are young and you’re staying home with them during those years, is that there’s no measurement of success. There’s no metric,” she begins her video.

“There’s no one saying, ‘Congratulations, you have been promoted; you are the top of the top of this skill.’ None of that,” she continued. There is no award for an outstanding stay-at-home mom, and there is no manager to give her a review or promotion.

She says that being a good mother to her kids “feels good” and “makes us happy” but argues that it isn’t something you can “hold” or “write down.”

@eclectichomeschooling

It’s everyone’s favorite time of the month! Where I post insane, 3-5 minute, PMS ramblings about motherhood! Okay love you, bye! 😎


“We’re going on eight years of not being able to measure [success],” she continued. “I think that that’s a thing that nobody really talks about or that we don’t really get to talk about with each other. Your partner goes to work: they get promoted, they get raises, they complete their work for the day and they ... get to be like, ‘OK, I succeeded.’ But my [work] is just constant, all of the time, and there’s no metric for it.”

The dishes that Syd cleans will be dirty the next day. The laundry she folds on Monday will be worn on Tuesday and rewashed on Friday.

motherhood, homemaking, stay-at-home mom, laundryWork done in the home is never "done" and often goes unrecognized. Photo credit: Canva

Although Syd has yet to find a solution to this problem, she sees other ways to get the validation she craves. “It’s hard, especially because a lot of us don’t prioritize hobbies for ourselves. That’s a great place for us to find success or a feeling of accomplishment,” she said.

Syd’s video struck a chord with many stay-at-home mothers feeling the same way.

A commenter named Leigh noted that the need for external validation comes from the corporate culture in which Americans are raised. “On my best days, it is interesting to notice how tied we are to corporate-style success. On my worst, it is inescapably crushing,” she wrote in the most popular comment.

“It's the neverending loops that are never complete. We never get the satisfaction of a ‘job well done’ because nothing is ever really done,” Hazel added. “Once I started focusing on my own happiness, it got better.”

According to Love, the lack of praise for a job well done also means that it’s easy to be criticized. “When you’re doing everything right, there’s no praise, etc., but if you do anything wrong or are not perfect, then the issue gets thrown in your face in every way. So you end up feeling like a failure,” she wrote.

Syd told Upworthy that her followers have tried to help her recontextualize her feelings of worth. “Since the video, I’ve had a lot of conversations with moms about how we measure worth by being very wrapped up in productivity through a capitalist lens. It can be tough to divest from that, but it is also so important. Like, what’s a safe and secure childhood worth? Nothing technically, but also the entire world. We do that!” she told Upworthy.

motherhood, stay-at-home mom Validation comes in different ways for stay-at-home moms.Photo credit: Canva

She adds that a few of her followers suggested she should take up martial arts as a hobby. “I’m still pondering that one,” she told Upworthy.

Ultimately, Syd’s realization could have caused her to feel down about herself or resign to a never-ending feeling of being unfulfilled. However, she’s seen it as an opportunity to reevaluate her sense of self-worth and possibly as a reason to branch off into new and exciting hobbies outside her family.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Feminist blogger has a fool-proof answer when a man asks, ‘May I buy you a drink?’

Men aren't always happy with the response.

via Flickr

Some alcoholic drinks on a bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?" is a loaded question. It could be an innocent request from someone who's interested in having a cordial conversation. Other times, saying "yes" means you may have to fend off someone who feels entitled to spend the rest of the night with you.

In the worst-case scenario, someone is trying to take advantage of you or has a roofie in their pocket. Feminist blogger Jennifer Dziura found a fool-proof way to stay safe while understanding someone's intentions. Dziura is a New York-based writer, educational humorist, educator and the founder of Get Bullish. Dziura says to ask for a non-alcoholic beverage or food. If they're sincerely interested in spending some time getting to know you, they won't mind buying something booze-free. But if they intend to lower your defenses, they'll throw a mild tantrum after you refuse the booze. Her thoughts on the "Can I buy you a drink?" conundrum made their way to Tumblr.

jennifer dzuria, feminist blogger, tumblr, men and womn, alcohol, concerts, barsJennifer Dzuria's Tumblr post on alcohol. via Tumblr

jennifer dzuria, feminist blogger, tumblr, men and womn, alcohol, concerts, barsJennifer Dzuria's Tumblr post on alcohol. via Tumblr

The posts caught the attention of a bartender who knows there are many men out there whose sole intention is to get someone drunk to take advantage. "Most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality," the bartender wrote. They're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down." That's why Dziura's advice is so important, it separates the men who just want to get you drunk from those who want to get to know you. It'll also save you a lot of time from speaking with someone you don't want to in the first place.

The bartender shared a few tips on how to be safe and social when someone asks to buy you a drink.

From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, "serve her a stronger drink, I'm trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?" usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I'm a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl's more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her.
But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down.

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you're none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn't give two shits that you're not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don't want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you'd like something light, and that's a big clue to us that you're uncomfortable with whomever you're standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you're in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:
Here's a list of light liquors, and mixers that won't get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.
Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.
Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.
Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%
Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

drinks, bartender, mixology, orange drinks, cool bartender, salted rim,A bartending mixing up a cool drink. via Canva/Photos

If you do accept a drink from someone at a bar and you want to talk, there's no need to feel obligated to spend the rest of the night with them. Jaqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, says to be polite you only have to "Engage in some friendly chit-chat, but you are not obligated to do more than that." But what if you don't want to have a drink with the guy? "Say thank you, but you are trying to cut back, have to drive or you don't accept drinks from strangers," Whitmore says.


drinks, bar, man and woman, man hitting on woman, alcohol, bar, whisky, well-dressed peopleA man and a woman having a conversation at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If someone asks to buy you a drink and you don't want it, Whitmore has a great tip. "Say thank you, but you are trying to cut back, have to drive or you don't accept drinks from strangers," Whitmore says.

What if they've already sent the drink over? "Give the drink to the bartender and tell him or her to enjoy it," Whitmore says.

Have fun. Stay safe, and make sure to bring a great wing-man or wing-woman with you.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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