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Prosperity

Reminder: You can't judge a person's financial situation by their clothing—or anything else

Reminder: You can't judge a person's financial situation by their clothing—or anything else
Image by Jeremy Smith from Pixabay

Say you're in line at the grocery store when the woman checking out in front of you pulls a SNAP benefits card out of an expensive-looking, name brand purse to pay for her groceries. Let's say her nails are freshly manicured. Maybe she's carrying an iPhone as well. Is your first thought something like:

Why is she receiving public assistance if she can afford that nice purse, nails, and phone?


Our brains are prone to making immediate, reflexive judgments about people we encounter. That's just basic psychology, but it doesn't mean we can't consciously counter our snap judgments or reprogram our brains to make different ones. And when it comes to assumptions about people who are struggling financially, a whole lot of us could desperately use some reprogramming.

RELATED: What one man's anger can teach us about the way we treat welfare recipients.

A viral Facebook post from last December is making the rounds again because it reminds us of a vital truth we all need to internalize.

Jenni Svoboda wrote:

Starting to see a lot of posts about people panhandling or using SNAP cards while dressed in decent/nice clothes again.

In the last month, I've donated 4 trash bags full of nice clothes—including miss me and silver jeans, VS fleeces, and a Columbia coat to People's City Mission. I don't say this to brag, I say this to remind you to mind your own business. You have zero idea where the stranger at the grocery store got their name brand clothes, and they don't owe it to you to be dressed in rags so you know they're worthy of getting some help to eat. 💯 If you're warm, dry, and not starving, just be grateful.

Not only do people donate brand name clothing to shelters or clothing drives, but brand new, name brand clothing can often be had for a song at thrift stores or yard sales. Commenters on the Facebook post pointed out examples of how they had bought a new-with-tags Adidas jacket for $3 and a $60 pair of Converse for 50 cents. My own name brand purse cost $1.49 at our local thrift store, and it was barely used. Someone wearing or carrying something that looks expensive is in no way an indicator of someone's financial status.

Maybe that woman at the store paid pennies for that purse. Maybe her roommate is a manicurist who does her nails for free. Maybe she got that phone before she fell on hard times.

Maybe it's none of our flippin' business.

"But they're using my tax dollars to pay for their groceries, so it is my business!"

No, it's not. First of all, the fraction of our tax dollars that goes to public assistance is pretty negligible. The average American tax payer shells out less than $7 a month for welfare assistance—is that really worth judging a perfect stranger over? And second of all, our tax dollars go to all kinds of things that other people use and we don't. That's the way taxes are designed to work.

If my city has to repair a street across town that I never drive on, I'm not going to start questioning whether the people who use it really need to drive on it that frequently. "They're using my tax dollars to repair that road, so it is totally my business to determine whether the people are driving on that road more than they really need to." That sounds silly, doesn't it?

RELATED: This mom left an abusive relationship and fell into poverty. Here's how she got out.

People also tend to get judgy about what people buy with food stamps, as if people receiving assistance are obligated to have a far more perfect diet than the rest of us. When that judgment comes, we need to ask ourselves why someone struggling financially doesn't deserve a donut once in a while.

The bottom line is it's not okay to police people using public assistance. It's not okay to decide that a person has to meet some visual standard of poverty in order to need or deserve help. It's not okay to assume anything about a person's financial situation based on what they're wearing, what they're carrying, or how put together they look. It's not okay to judge what a person has in their grocery cart or how they are paying for it.

When you think about it, we don't know where anyone's money comes from. The well-off woman paying for her kombucha and organic spinach may have made her money scamming the elderly. That dude paying for his groceries with cash might be selling drugs on the side. And that mom with the SNAP card buying cake and soda might have a kid celebrating a birthday and those treats are the only ones they're going to get for a while.

But which of those people would we tend to judge first?

We all have the choice, during the seconds of a random encounter, to assume the best or assume the worst in people. When you don't know what you're looking at, give people the benefit of the doubt. If our brains are going to make snap judgments anyway, let's reprogram them to come from a place of kindness and compassion.

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


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Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



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