Moms are sharing what real parenting looks like and everyone can relate to the unfiltered photos

This is what life with kids looks like.
There is a big difference between what parenthood looks like in real life versus how it appears on social media, especially Instagram. We’ve seen this fake version of parenting so many times that it has become a cliché.
Mom and her children are somewhere beautiful on vacation or in a field with wildflowers in full bloom. Everyone is dressed in matching white linen outfits that are somehow perfectly clean. Mom is wearing a big floppy hat, large sunglasses and looks well-rested.
This may be somebody’s version of fantasy but it sure isn’t real life.
The problem is that when people look at these images they consciously or subconsciously compare themselves to these families and wonder why they seem to be coming up short. In reality, most parents of young children are tired, could use a long shower and are in a living room that looks like a clown moved in.
There are bright-colored bowls and bottles strewn about. Random Legos are embedded in the carpet and a naked dolly with frizzy hair is stashed away in a corner. Being the parent of young kids is all about survival, and appearances are the last thing most have the time or energy to worry about.
Let’s not even get started on the ecological disaster that is the bathroom.
A Twitter user named Amanda injected some much-needed reality into social media on Saturday when she asked a simple question to her followers. “Can we get a realistic mom/parenting photo thread going? No aesthetic filters, no staging - what does the room you’re in look like RIGHT NOW?”
Can we get a realistic mom/parenting photo thread going? No aesthetic filters, no staging - what does the room you\u2019re in look like RIGHT NOW?— amanda \ud80c\udf4a\ud80c\udefc\ud80c\udf4a\ud80c\udefc\ud80c\udf4a (@amanda \ud80c\udf4a\ud80c\udefc\ud80c\udf4a\ud80c\udefc\ud80c\udf4a) 1645927097
She received an outpouring of posts that were photos of the mess, clutter and chaos that accompanies being the parent of a small child. Trashed bathrooms, bedrooms with boxes stacked sky-high, tired parents, toddlers with saggy diapers and lots of toys strewn all over the place.
And the laundry. No one ever has the time to get all the laundry done.
The photos would give most neat freaks apoplexy but they did a great job at showing how most people with young kids actually live. Sure they may clean up the house when they’re having company or act as they have it together on social media, but this is how day-to-day life looks.
It’s great that so many parents were totally fine sharing photos of their mess.
But there’s one thing that is unmistakable about these photos, they’re filled with love.
Here are some of the most real photos that Amanda received after asking what people's lives look like “RIGHT NOW.” If you have a small child and your house is a disaster, these photos should make you feel less alone.
Here’s my bathroom, and it’s been like this for days. I just have no energy to clean up. It’s not too bad, but it feels better knowing others aren’t perfect too. I’m tired of unrealistic expectations to keep a spotless home, home cooked meals every day & somehow entertain kids pic.twitter.com/jm9ncespGW
— amanda 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 (@alkellzz) February 27, 2022
I have homework that’s due tonight that I haven’t even gotten halfway through. I’m still in pajamas. pic.twitter.com/nr0WHadDOc
— em🦖 (80%) (@_emilyhayes23) February 27, 2022
Video still but this is my living room every day. I’m working on knowing it’s okay for my house to look like a toddler lives here pic.twitter.com/PH9WSjDXMt
— Queen Mama ✨ (@livie_bri2015) February 27, 2022
my living room currently lmao and it’s usually much worse by the end of the day every day pic.twitter.com/s6oM2NU9D1
— abby 🌙 (@craycraymer) February 27, 2022
The struggle is real. Takes about 10 minutes to go from totally clean to chaosville. pic.twitter.com/m1lSjf4GAn
— Hali Hoag (@Aitchess55) February 27, 2022
— alisa (@tapiocalisa) February 27, 2022
He's always taking pics too send to his mom in our messy bedroom 😊 pic.twitter.com/lwMHbLmgyP
— Adri Marie Santos (@LoveUrLunchLady) February 27, 2022
I am trying. The kitchen is my least favorite place to clean. But you can see I'm brewing some coffee lol. pic.twitter.com/kldDQwb2Us
— Freshly Expired (@Freshly_Expired) February 27, 2022
I have arrived to make everyone else feel better about their homes. pic.twitter.com/e7NGcRGLdO
— Ms. Faintly Macabre (@mer_hartley) February 28, 2022
Toys, French fries, and chips all over the floor. They’re happy, so I’ll just clean it later lmaoooo pic.twitter.com/98Afln9LAQ
— bonnie (@bonaldd) February 28, 2022
Here ya go!
— Kendrisite (@Kendrisite) February 28, 2022
I never use filters in my photos, as filters annoy me. <3 pic.twitter.com/WeFcZobYJ6
Laundry day and love 💗 pic.twitter.com/6BqrTiAygV
— Sylvia Lozada (@syllysal) February 28, 2022
After scrolling through those photos, don’t you feel a bit better about yourself? Just know that doing your best doesn’t look like a family decked out in matching linen staring at sunset on Waikiki Beach. Nope. It looks like a stack of laundry on a La-Z-Boy chair, a carpet that’s littered with Legos and love, lots and lots of love.
- A Dutch 'boy genius' said he could get the ocean to clean itself ... ›
- Dad's reaction to his son's spilled Slushee shows positive parenting ... ›
- Tidying up can do more than 'spark joy.' It can help your kids be ... ›
- Mom reveals her messy home and people can relate ›
- Kate Middleton's son Prince Louis had a very public tantrum - Upworthy ›
- Mom reveals her messy home and people can relate - Upworthy ›
- Mom wants to 'normalize bing normal' - Upworthy ›
- Mom hilariously demands to know secret to clean kids' rooms - Upworthy ›
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."