upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Family

Many folks with HIV stay silent about their status. The reaction to Charlie Sheen's story shows why.

Many people say the hardest part of living with HIV is the stigma. Here's some easy ways to treat HIV-positive people with compassion.

This morning, actor Charlie Sheen made a huge announcement: He's HIV-positive.

Photo by MIchael Buckner/Getty Images.

The move comes after the Internet exploded yesterday with speculation about the actor's status after the National Enquirer promised a "bombshell world exclusive" about the actor's private life.

All totally valid criticisms of Sheen aside, no one deserves to have their personal information shared without their permission. Sheen probably wouldn't even have shared his status without the threat of extortion hanging over his head, because there is still so much stigma and so many misconceptions surrounding an HIV diagnosis. But now that he's come forward, it's significant that he was able to share his story in his words before anyone else could.

Individuals with HIV should be able to live without shame and with the freedom to be open about their lived experiences.

Reactions to Sheen's announcement show we still have a long way to go to overcome stigma about the virus.

Sheen shares that he was diagnosed about four years ago. Why did he keep it secret for so long? Uh, the cover of this magazine might give a hint.

Photo via National Enquirer.

Treating someone's HIV status — a private medical condition that is likely irrelevant to everyone who'll read it — as a sensationalist gossip topic isn't just gross, it's wrong. Not to mention: HIV and AIDS aren't interchangeable diseases — to proclaim, on the cover of a magazine no less, that Charlie Sheen not wanting to disclose his HIV diagnosis is an "AIDS COVER-UP" wildly misrepresents what an HIV diagnosis means in 2015. Media reactions like this are why he and millions of other Americans are hesitant to disclose their HIV status.

Misconceptions and stigma about HIV play a large factor in why many with the diagnosis stay silent, often forever.

“We're finding, despite the fact that we've been living with this disease for 30 years, that the greatest challenge we're facing is stigma," David Furnish, chairman of the Elton John AIDS Foundation, said in an interview with The Advocate. "[That's] the biggest hurdle we have to overcome."

Stigma against HIV-positive people is a large reason why discrimination is so rampant. Loss of housing, employment, and close relationships is common for people with HIV or AIDS in ways that many folks with other life-threatening conditions don't face.


Retired NBA player Magic Johnson publicly disclosed his HIV-positive status in 1991. Since then, he's become an outspoken advocate for safer sex and HIV/AIDS prevention. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.

Here's what you need to know about HIV:

Stigma is a tricky thing that many people don't realize influences how they treat someone — because it can seem so normal. Remembering these facts will help you destigmatize HIV and AIDS when you find yourself in conversations about it in the real world.

1. HIV and AIDS are not interchangeable.

HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, which is a tiny organism in the body.

AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) refers to the condition one can get after HIV completely compromises their immune system.

An individual can have HIV for many years and never get AIDS. Only a doctor can make the call whether someone has AIDS. Thanks to progress in medical care, people in the U.S. who take antiviral treatments often never get AIDS.

2. The risks of contracting HIV through everyday contact like handholding or sharing a swimming pool is minimal.

HIV is not spread through the air, casual touch, tears, sweat, or saliva. So it's OK to use the same bathroom, eating utensils, and water fountain. In the U.S., the most common way people are infected is through penetrative sex, which is why it's important to use condoms.

But it's not just through sexual activity. There are reasons to be extra cautious if, say, you have a cut on your hand and you help your friend with HIV bandage a cut on her hand. HIV is transmitted through certain body fluids, like blood, coming into contact with the bloodstream, damaged tissue, or a mucous membrane like the mouth.

3. HIV is not a punishment.

No one deserves to get HIV. It is not a condemnation from God or some sort of punishment for certain acts that others may not approve of. When you read your magazines in the checkout aisle of the grocery store, don't buy into all the correlations between Charlie Sheen's history of being a "womanizer" or his relationships with sex workers meant to imply that his HIV infection is a punishment for that. It only takes one bad needle, one broken condom, or one partner to transmit the disease.

If you cite Sheen's wild past and say he got what he deserved, that assumption reflects on all people who have HIV, no matter how careful they were in their lives. It reinforces the myth that HIV-positive people are being punished for bad decisions, a stigma that they face every day.

4. People of all genders and sexual orientations can get HIV.

For a long time, HIV was seen as something only gay and bisexual men should worry about. But according to the CDC, 23% of people with HIV are women. Of women who were newly infected, 84% were from heterosexual contact.

While most folks get HIV from sexual contact, remember that there are other ways people get infected, like being born with it or through a blood transfusion. In general, it's just best not to assume how they got HIV. It's irrelevant at this point anyway, right?

5. You can't tell whether someone is HIV-positive by how they look.

Just because someone doesn't "look sick" doesn't mean they're HIV-negative. Many HIV-positive people can be symptom-free for years before discovering they are infected. That's why it's so important to get tested regularly. You'll be able to get early medical intervention and prevent inadvertently infecting someone.

Actor Danny Pintauro, best known for his role as Jonathan Bower on the TV show "Who's the Boss" as a child, came out as HIV-positive this year. Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images.

Here's how to handle conversations about HIV and AIDS in real life to stop stigma in its tracks:

Be mindful of your language when talking about HIV. A lot of common terms can reinforce stigma. For example, the term "clean" when referring to negative HIV status implies that someone who is HIV-positive is dirty.

Treat a person respectfully when they disclose their status. Be compassionate in your response and make sure to respect their privacy. Their disclosure is not consent to being an open book about sexual history, medical treatment, or how they contracted the virus. And just because they disclose their status to you doesn't mean they're giving you permission to reveal it to everyone else, too.

Do not speculate on or disclose someone's HIV status without permission. Basically, don't do what the Enquirer did with Charlie Sheen.

Get tested. Knowledge is power. Visit this link to find a place near you. A lot of places offer free testing, which can be completed in a few minutes!



Olympic gold medalist Greg Louganis tested positive for HIV in 1988. He is an advocate for LGBT and people diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for The Point Foundation.

Educating yourself about HIV just doesn't make you more knowledgeable, it makes you a real force in reducing HIV stigma.

HIV stigma is very real — and it has dangerous consequences. It keeps people from getting treatment and but also getting the care and support from others that they (all of us?) need. Many studies have found there are significant public health risks because of stigma.

We're probably never going to persuade everyone to treat Charlie Sheen's diagnosis with respect and dignity or prevent them from making stupid TIGER BLOOD jokes. But the lessons we learn from how we talk about Sheen's announcement have real-world repercussions on non-famous people living with HIV stigma every day.

If we work hard to reveal the reality — that living with HIV isn't a death sentence, that there's nothing to fear from HIV-positive individuals — we can create a world where folks can divulge their status on their own terms. It'll be a better, safer world for everyone.

Family
Badge
Land O'Lakes
Land O'Lakes® products are made from milk sourced directly from member-owned farms, including butters, cheeses, spreads and other dairy staples loved by consumers for cooking, baking and snacking
Community

Land O’Lakes and Clove are filling the nation’s food banks with much-needed butter and shoes

Land O’Lakes and Clove are teaming up to bring comfort to communities in need.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

CommunitySponsored Article - No Video PlayerSponsoredJoy
Public Health

How often should you shower? Doctors weigh in and rock some people's worlds.

Once a day is not ideal.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska/Pexels

Doctors say a lot of us are showering more than we need to.

A few times in recent years, celebrities and social media influencers alike have made waves by sharing that they don't make their kids bathe every day. For some parents, that was totally par for the course, but for others, letting a child go more than a day without bathing was seen as a travesty.

Doctors have made it clear that kids don't need to bathe daily, with some going so far as to recommend against it when they are young to protect kids' delicate skin. But what about grownups? Most of us don't take baths regularly as adults, but what's the ideal frequency for showering?

According to a YouGov poll of over 5,700 Americans, just over half of respondents said they shower daily and 11% said they shower twice or more per day. That means two out of three of us are showering at least once a day.

woman, showering, shower, daily shower, bathe A woman in a shower cap.Canva Photos

But according to doctors and dermatologists, that's probably overkill for most people. Unless you're doing heavy labor, exercising vigorously, working outdoors or around toxins or otherwise getting excessively dirty or sweaty, a few showers per week is enough for healthy hygiene.

In fact, Robert H. Shmerling, MD of Harvard Health says too frequent showering could actually have some negative effects on your health.

"Normal, healthy skin maintains a layer of oil and a balance of 'good' bacteria and other microorganisms," Dr. Shmerling writes. "Washing and scrubbing removes these, especially if the water is hot." He shares that removing that protective layer can make our skin dry, irritated or itchy, which can lead to damage that allows allergens and bacteria to cross the skin barrier. Additionally, our immune systems require exposure to microorganisms, dirt, and other environmental stimuli in order to create "immune memory," and if we wash them away too frequently, we might be inhibiting the effectiveness of our immune system.

dirt, immune system, environment, kids, baths, dirt don't hurt A healthy coat of dirt.Giphy

Dermatologists who spoke to Vogue had similar advice about shower frequency. Board-certified dermatologist Deanne Robinson, MD, FAAD told the magazine that you can skip showering for the day if you haven't engaged in rigorous activity. Mamina Turegano, a triple board-certified dermatologist, internist and dermatopathologist. agreed. "I think that showering three to four times a week is plenty for most people,” she said.

Of course, everyone is different and what is good for one person's skin isn't good for another's. Showering frequency and health also depend on what kinds of products you're using, what temperature of water you're using, and how long your shower is. There's a big difference between a quick pits-and-privates rinse-off and a long, hot everything shower.

While scorching yourself and steaming up the bathroom may feel luxurious and relaxing, especially if you've got sore muscles, dermatologists say it's not good for your skin. Hot showers are especially problematic for people with skin issues like eczema.

"Any skin condition characterized by a defective skin barrier can be worsened by a hot shower," board-certified New York City dermatologist Shari Marchbein told Allure. "[It] strips the skin of sebum, the healthy fats and oils necessary for skin health, and dehydrates the skin."

shower, shower temperature, hot shower, lukewarm shower, showering Maybe cool it on the hot showers. Canva Photos.

In fact most dermatologists recommend keeping showers lukewarm. That sounds like torture, frankly, but who's going to argue with the experts?

A lot of people, actually. Modern humans are pretty particular about our shower preferences, and judging from the comments on cleanliness discussions, some folks are dead set on the idea that a daily shower is simply not negotiable. Even with the experts weighing in with their knowledge and science, a lot of people will continue to do what they do, advice be damned.

But at least the folks who've been judged harshly by the daily shower police have some official backup. As long as you're showering every couple of days, you're golden. As it turns out, there really is such a thing as being too clean.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
showering
Public HealthHealth
Internet

Woman publicly implored NPR to sell her crop top designs. They agreed the idea was genius.

"On behalf of all the millennial girlies and their dads who used to listen to Car Talk together in the garage…”

Courtesy of Maggie Enterrios (@littlepatterns/Instagram)

Maggie Enterrios wants to help save public radio after funding cuts.

"Are you an NPR Girlie?" Maggie Enterrios was once asked by someone she'd just met, which she found to be a hilarious non-sequitur. "I've never been one to describe myself as the internet "girlie" type," she tells Upworthy. "But I had to admit, that, yes, of all the Girlies I could be, NPR Girlie definitely fit the bill."

For over five decades, National Public Radio has been a staple source of news and entertainment for millions of Americans. Those who were raised on it have fond memories of specific shows—the delight of Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me, the Car Talk brothers' masterful way of making auto mechanics interesting, and the soothing voices of countless hosts who inspired their parody on Saturday Night Live.

NPR has always relied on the generosity of donors for funding, but it has also received funding from the federal government. With funding cuts to public broadcasting, the network has had to make major financial changes, threatening the survival of small stations around the country that were already struggling to make ends meet.

Enterrios is on an over-the-top mission to save public radio through the most unlikely means: crop tops. The designer has been sharing videos on her @littlepatterns Instagram account advocating for NPR to sell merch that includes adorable crop tops and other fun attire that's grabbed people's attention—and the attention of the NPR Shop.

Enterrios implored NPR’s shop "on behalf of all the millennial girlies and their dads who used to listen to Car Talk together in the garage” to start selling her cute branded crop Ts and sweatshirts, baseball caps, tote bags, and more bearing words like “National Public Radio,” and “In my free press era." She gave some specific love to well-known personalities people often hear on their local NPR stations, such as Marketplace’s Kai Ryssdal, legal affairs correspondent Nina Totenberg, Morning Edition's Steve Inskeep, and more.

Enterrios tells Upworthy the idea started as a joke with a Threads post in which she wrote, "I am once again begging @npr to let me design a merch line for millennial girlies. Cancel the pledge drives: we're selling crop tops now." But then she realized it was actually a great idea.

"Right after I pressed 'post,' I thought this may actually be worth taking seriously," she says. "I'm a full-time independent illustrator, with a background in marketing. I truly believe that the best art is made by superfans. If not me, then who?"

Her video went viral as fans of NPR delighted in Enterrios' merch ideas, as well as her tongue-in-cheek threats to NPR if they didn’t respond to her requests. Funnily enough, the NPR shop did respond in just three days.

"I made a slightly sarcastic threat that if NPR didn't reach out to me in one week to produce the designs, I'd [take the idea] to PBS," says Enterrios. "Luckily, it only took three days. NPR's team spotted the post and reached out. As fate would have it, they were actually in the middle of launching new products in their store. The timing couldn't have been more perfect."

They’ve since been working together to get the first merch items up on the NPR shop. As of now, there is a crop top with a long-form script lettering of "National Public Radio", a crewneck sweatshirt that says "Active Listener," and a design that says "In my free press era." Enterrios is hoping to be able to expand the range of merch, and getting more hosts and programs on board to support the push.

"For me, this project was about raising awareness for the loss of public media funding in a lighthearted, accessible way," Enterrios tells Upworthy. "I wanted to speak to people who, like me, might have grown up on public radio and could appreciate the humorous but earnest intent behind the idea. I wanted to give fans a way to support NPR at a moment when it's most under threat."

Fellow NPR fans totally feel Enterrios' passion for wanting to help a beloved network that has provided comfort and joy throughout their lives.

"Some of my best childhood memories are of waking up on Saturday mornings to the smell of pancakes and the sound of Car Talk and Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! " says Enterrios. "As an adult, I'm a daily listener, so this whole experience feels like a full-circle moment. Posting a joke on a whim has turned into something I am so deeply proud of, and excited to see out in the world. And I love that it’s helping keep public media strong in such an important moment."

Check out the NPR Shop here.

From Your Site Articles
joy
InternetPop Culture
Animals & Wildlife

A fun personality test determines 'how you love' based on your animal archetype

Are you a lion, a beaver, an otter, or a golden retriever?

Phtoo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

An otter, a lion, a golden retriever, a beaver

In the never-ending quest to understand ourselves better, or at least have just one more distraction from whatever it is we should be doing, here comes the animal personality test. And the craziest part is (at least for me), it's kind of accurate.

The truth is, these days anyone can create their own personality tests. (And they do… and I've taken them.) Which Sex and the City character are you? Who is your inner Marvel superhero? What color is your heart? (Carrie, Ant Man, and black respectively.)

But this particular animal archetype quiz, in actuality, is a model developed in the late 90s by Gary Smalley, an author with a psychology background and a PhD in counseling. Co-created by author John Trent, the two wrote a book called The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences. The idea is to strike a balance between the tender, "soft" side of love and the "hard," more direct side. After taking the quiz provided in the book (and now online), one can find out if their temperament is the lion, the beaver, the otter, or the golden retriever.

Even though it was written as a love-based tool, this personality test is often mentioned in the corporate world as a way to find out how people relate in the workforce. Jasper Rose, a financial recruiting agency, shared the quiz on their website, but notes, "This model should be taken with a pinch of salt. These animal categories describe the natural leaning of your temperament. In other words, they aren’t entirely fixed, as personalities are flexible and change over time, and people are complex." (So something an otter would say.)

Without further ado, the personality test can be taken (among many places) through this Michigan State University worksheet here:

personality test, lion, beaver, otter, golden retriever Gary Smalley and John Trent's personality testPhoto Credit: Michigan State University

As with most personality tests, these questions can be tricky, as many times more than one answer will apply. For example, one question asks that you rank what best describes you from the following: "likes authority, enthusiastic, sensitive feelings, likes instructions." Another: "Takes charge, takes risks, loyal, accurate." It's possible to relate to all four statements equally, making this a flawed test.

But if you're in it for a lighthearted look at something that may vaguely describe you, here's a breakdown of the results:

THE LION

lion, personality, fierce, strong, animal A lion roams. Giphy GIF by Savage Kingdom, Nat Geo

These, according to the test, are the natural-born leaders. They are confident, take-charge, strong, and independent. From the Jasper Rose website:

"Strengths: visionary, persistent, practical, productive, initiates change and projects, communicates directly, enjoys being challenged, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader.

Weaknesses: Insensitive/cold, sarcastic, self-sufficient, impatient, stubborn, overlooks risks, controlling at times, can be too direct."

An educational worksheet on the Community Engaged Learning website (Michigan State University) adds that lions, "are great at initiating communication, but not great at listening." They add their natural desires are "freedom, authority, variety, difficult assignments, opportunity for advancement."

THE OTTER

otter, personality, silly, cute, animal An otter is surprised. Giphy GIF by Nashville Tour Stop

These are our happy social types. "They are often energetic and enthusiastic, with a tendency to be playful and enjoy humor. Otters are generally creative and enjoy trying new things but may struggle with follow-through. They value relationships and are often empathetic and compassionate towards others."

"Strengths: Outgoing, optimistic, personable, communicator, dreamer, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate.

Weaknesses: Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerative, egocentric, unstable, struggle with follow-through, impulsive, needs social approval, easily offended."

The Center for Relationship Education adds, "Otters find it easy to be soft on people. It is also easy for them to be soft on problems. Otters need to learn to say ‘No’ and provide the hard-side balance of healthy boundary setting."

THE BEAVER

beaver, animal, personality type, snacks, cute Beaver enjoying a snack. Giphy GIF by San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance

These are our go-tos for decisive, detail-oriented people who actually enjoy structure and routine. "Beavers tend to be cautious and risk-averse, preferring to follow established procedures rather than taking chances. They are also known for their analytical skills and ability to organize complex information. However, they may struggle with flexibility and creativity, and may sometimes be perceived as overly critical."

"Strengths: Analytical, thorough, decision-maker, deliberate, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing.

Weaknesses: Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful."

The educational handout adds that in terms of relationships, "Beavers are good listeners, communicate details, and are usually diplomatic."

THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

dog, golden retriever, personality quiz, loyalty Golden Retriever adorably looks up. Giphy GIF by WoofWaggers

These are our loyal, dependable friends/lovers. "They also tend to avoid conflict and prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships. However, they may struggle with making decisions and taking action, and may sometimes come across as passive or indifferent."

"Strengths: Calm, supportive, agreeable, easy-going, loyal, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous, values relationships, stable and consistent.

Weaknesses: Selfish, stingy, indirect with others, resists change, procrastinator, unmotivated, lacks initiative, indecisive, fearful, worrier, can be co-dependent."

The Center for Relationship Education notes, "Goldens’ strong tendency toward the soft-side of love can lead to issues of co-dependence and enabling. Goldens need to learn to balance their natural soft-side with some hard-side qualities."

As with most quizzes like these, most of us are a combination of traits not easily put into labeled boxes. If nothing else, it's a creative way to get people thinking about how they interact with one another in a variety of situations. (Which is totally something a golden retriever like me would say.)

From Your Site Articles
personality test
Animals & WildlifeScience
Badge
Visit Sweden
Visit Sweden
Wellness

Feeling burnt out? Doctors are prescribing trips to Sweden

Get ready for the best "sick days" you'll ever have.

Visit Sweden
True

It’s no secret that modern life is stressful. Burnout is an epidemic. The World Health Organization boldly stated its dedicated efforts to help people improve their health and well-being through nature.

And thanks to a new initiative, Sweden is stepping up to offer a new holistic remedy: a physician-prescribed visit to Sweden, aka “The Swedish Prescription”.

“We have made great strides in making nature/social/culture prescription a more integral part of public health in the United States– but there is still so much more to be done,” said Dr. Stacy Stryer, Associate Medical Director for Park RxAmerica.“I welcome Sweden’s initiative and hope it will help break down institutional and organizational barriers, ultimately benefiting all patients.”

Patients can escape to Sweden’s pristine environment for true respite. Backed by scientific data and research from Yvonne Forsell, Senior Professor at Karolinska Institutet, healthcare professionals can prescribe Sweden as a destination where patients engage in non-medical treatments and outdoor activities to ease their ailments and offer a fresh reset.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Restore body and mind with the Swedish ritual of alternating ice baths and saunas. Swim, hike or forage through silent forests, lakes, parks and nature reserves – or simply sit in the stillness. Witness the Northern Lights dancing across winter skies, or soak up the calm of the summer midnight sun. In Stockholm, Europe’s clean-air capital, take a deep breath and feel the difference.

Or skip the great outdoors and spend time embracing Sweden’s unique cultural practices. “Our cozy fika tradition [Sweden’s daily pause for coffee and conversation], our “lagom”-balanced lifestyle [the idea of “not too much, not too little”] and our easily accessible nature are a soothing balm for body and mind,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

Sit back in front of a masterpiece in one of Sweden’s many art museums, or head out to a live music event after browsing concert options on Swedish-founded Spotify. You might catch chart-topping hits from producer Max Martin or discover the country’s thriving metal scene. Call it an early – or late – night, and enjoy restorative sleep in Sweden’s cool night air.

Sweden is the therapeutic destination your health has been craving. Learn more about “The Swedish Prescription” and its benefits for your mental and physical health here.

WellnessSponsored Article - No Video PlayerSponsoredHealth
Parenting

Mom's attempt to plan a Disney trip explains why it's harder to parent now than in the 90s

The amount of planning involved is absolutely mind-boggling.

via Canva/Photos and Tuxyso/Wikimedia Commons

Disney trips have a lot of parents frustrated, and it shows why parents are so burnt out.

We might be prone to overdoing it on the nostalgia sometimes, but it's often for good reason. "The good old days" may be a tired cliche, but that doesn't mean the phrase doesn't hold a kernel of truth. Some things really used to be better. Different isn't always just different, and it's definitely not always better. Sometimes different is objectively worse!

Take a "simple" theme park vacation with your family and kids, for example. In the 1990s, you could go to Disneyland or The Magic Kingdom relatively on a whim, show up at the park, wait in line to get a ticket, grab a map, walk in, and have a good time. However, these days, things are a lot more complicated. In 2025, the price of the park changes with demand, and you have to make reservations for the day you hope to visit. Want to eat dinner at a sit-down restaurant? Better reserve your table a few days (or even weeks) ahead of time. Want to get on the newest ride? Better hop in the virtual queue when the park opens at 9 am, and that's assuming you remembered to book and pay for enough Lightning Lane passes.


disney, disney world, disneyland, theme park, family vacation, parenting, parents, moms, dads, working parents, millennial parents This image strikes fear into the hearts of many parents. Photo by Kitera Dent on Unsplash

Further, the entire time you’re at the park, you’re staring at your phone, following instructions on where to go based on the app. And there aren’t any days when the park isn’t crowded—it’s always crowded. It’s a wonder people have any fun at the park when things are so complicated and expensive. Planning the trip is a months-long equivalent of a part-time job for many parents, and being in the parks is a grueling rat-race. Fun, yes, but absolutely exhausting!

Why is it so hard to be a parent in 2025?

Sarah Biggers-Stewart, founder of CLOVE + HALLOW, a clean cosmetics line, believes the stress of going to Disney mirrors what everything is like for parents in 2025. “The hardest thing about parenting in 2025 is that the parenting part isn't really that hard. It's everything else,” she said in a post with over 70,000 views. “The amount of participation and engagement expected of parents in literally everything related to raising kids is insane.”

Warning: Strong language.

@thebiggersthebetter

Like the parenting is ofc hard but it’s literally everything else that sucks 😂 #parenthood #momlife #raisinglittles #realtalk #girltalk #motherhood #disneyworld #parentlife

“And nothing perfectly illustrates this better than this Disney trip we're going on next week and the multi-month booking process I've had to go through in order to make sure that we can have a normal Disney trip. Sixty days ago, I had to pre-book at six am, restaurants, activities,” she continued.

Indeed, many Disney experiences open for booking at odd hours long before the actual dates of your trip, like first thing in the morning or even at midnight months beforehand. If it seems crazy to you that you'd have to wake up in the middle of the night to book a meeting with your kid's favorite cartoon princess or risk disappointing them when all the spots are booked up, you're not the only one.

Biggers-Stewart adds that it makes her mad because "it doesn't have to be this way.”

Why are children's sports so intense these days?

Biggers-Stewart says the same thing is happening in children’s sports. “We're treating these seven-year-olds like they're all gonna go pro. They can't even go with their families for a week vacation during the summer break because if they miss a week, they're like shunned and benched,” she told her 602,000 followers. "The seven-year-olds are talking about their protein intake, and the parents are being lectured by the coaches about their protein intake. These kids are seven.”

disney, disney world, disneyland, theme park, family vacation, parenting, parents, moms, dads, working parents, millennial parents Youth sports are supposed to be fun, but they've gotten way too intense. Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

And it goes beyond sports! Want to take your kids to a free storytime at the library? Better hope you remembered to reserve a spot three months ago. And speaking of which, better remember to block your work calendar for the parties your child's daycare throws every week in the middle of the day, which parents are "strongly encouraged" to attend. If your kids are old enough to walk and bike around themselves, well, you'd better be sure you accompany them every step of the way or you might get arrested — seriously.

Many moms in the comments could totally relate to Biggers-Stewart’s frustration.

"The 1st time we did Disney, I did nothing, and it was a nightmare. The 2nd time, I had spreadsheets & binder & it was F-ing magical for my family and satisfied me like I had planned a corporate summit," Booishlady wrote. "I was SWEATING BULLETS trying to get my kid into various summer camps the moment registration opened in JANUARY. And you're right, even basic activities have to be planned and purchased way in advance."

Anastasia agreed, writing "Having to meticulously plan summer camps in January or else there’s no childcare options available."

Another user wrote, "I saw something that said working moms now spend more time with their kids than SAHMs in the 70s." Unbelievably, this is true, despite the nearly impossible math.

"We decided early on that we weren’t going to overbook our kids with a bunch of extracurriculars. We prioritize family time, which is great, and yet I still feel so much external pressure to do more," Katie wrote.

disney, disney world, disneyland, theme park, family vacation, parenting, parents, moms, dads, working parents, millennial parents There's a reason all parents feel like this in 2025. Giphy

At the conclusion of her video, Biggers-Stewart boiled the problem down to what parenting is like in 2025: Intense. “Everything is the most intense version that requires the most effort and participation,” she said. “That is why parents in 2025 are burnt the f**k out.”

This article originally appeared in March. It has been updated.


From Your Site Articles
parenting
ParentingFamily
Trending Stories