Welcome to the fourth decade.
Turning 30 marks the beginning of pure adulthood. Gone are the days making the same questionable choices from our 20s, and our stupid teenage years are even more a relic of the past. This is the time when Mother Nature says, “I’m not joking around, it’s time to take some things seriously. Like, for real.”
As friend groups shrink and waistlines expand, not to mention as careers or lifestyles go through major changes, the fourth decade can feel a bit overwhelming. Especially as there's still the misconception that somehow, as if by magic, you’ll have everything figured out by that 30th birthday. And if it hasn’t, then it’s too late. Talk about pressure.
In truth, we’re always just figuring things out and we move along. Thirties are no different. But it does help to traverse this new territory with knowledge. Luckily, the internet is a great place to crowdsource that sort of thing.
A Reddit user (perhaps a brave 29-year-old) recently asked the online forum, “What is your advice for somebody entering their 30s?”
People gave some amazing answers. Unsurprisingly, health (of all kinds) was a popular topic. But there were also a lot of unexpected gems, particularly when it comes to dealing with the “hard stuff.” Our 30s might be challenging, but with them come their own special rewards.
Check out these 14 bits of wisdom. Even if you’re well into your 30s—or beyond them—they offer some valuable reminders.
1.
“Life is not over. Not married yet & want to be??? Still time to find a decent partner, & your experience & maturity can help.” – @Bakanasharkyblahaj
2.
“Friends will make kids and settle down - make sure to visit them and don't shy away from playdates and birthday parties.” – @theteenyemperor
3.
“You should have started planning for your 50's about 5 years ago. Get to it. And by planning, I don't mean just retirement. Obviously retirement, but also getting to know yourself and what you want to do with your life. You have to be honest with yourself, find out what ACTUALLY matters for you, and start working towards that. Get rid of the dumb notions you had when you were a teenager. Find your balance between spiritual and material things. Not talking about religion, but social connections, feelings, experiences. Friends and family are important, as is material comfort.” – @robervalladraodeChoc
4.
“Don’t worry if you haven’t achieved your life goals or decided what career you want by now, it’ll come soon. I didn’t start Uni (nursing school) until my early 30’s. Spent a few years traveling the world first.” – @I-stop-pucks
5.
“Hate to be the one to bring this up, but start mentally preparing for the inevitable major loss events that will soon begin to accumulate in your life. If you don't have a healthy perspective regarding death, start working on that asap. See a therapist if necessary. Losing your parents is the first big one for most.” – @Captainmikkl
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“If your friend group hasn't already got smaller, be ready for it to. Don't take it personally. Some people just don't have the energy to hang out as much as they used to and others are entering different phases of their life like moving, different careers, or even procreating for some reason.” – @Drrodeze
7.
“If you keep it up in another ten years you can do the 40s.” – @Theymakemewearpants
8.
“Stretch. Moisturize. Start accumulating cash.” – @Sea-type694
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“If you have unresolved issues or find yourself ruminating over shit that happened years ago, go and see a therapist.” – @noodlefishmonkey
10.
“Enjoy. When I turned 30 I became confident enough to stop auditioning what I wanted to say in my head first in case it sounded stupid and just say it. Life became a lot more fun.” – @Markedmo
11.
“Take care of your teeth. By the time you're in your 30s tooth decay starts to be a problem. Brush and floss regularly. Go to a dentist twice a year. Keep on top of this. It’s easier to fix tooth decay problems early on, before they become a crisis.” – @Hyndis
12.
"Have fun! Too many people treat their 30s like their lives are over, but in reality, they can be a lot like your 20s - just with more money and experience, and ideally less worrying about what others think of you. Pandemic aside I've loved my 30s so far (38 now). Never had more fun." – @Zenstation83
13.
"Start taking care of yourself and make it a habit. Getting to your late 30s and realising you are putting on weight, have a sore back and can't run 100 feet without getting out of breath sucks. If you work an office job, just make the gym a regular routine and make sure you stretch." – @Devrij68
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"Things get harder as they get easier. But you're in a position to handle it and you have the experience and knowledge to keep going where this happening to you in your twenties would have been catastrophic. You'll spend these years finding what makes you happy, realizing you've been chasing probably the wrong thing. Be ready to pivot, restart, readjust, and be open and communicating with those in your life as you go through your joys and challenges. This is a transformative decade." – @Orbax
- Guy shares life hacks he didn't learn until his 30s. - Upworthy ›
- Guy makes a tweet about what you should have 'by age 30 ... ›
- One woman's question asking if life gets better after 30 went viral ... ›
- People are finding healing from woman's refreshing 'welcome to girls night in your 30s' video - Upworthy ›
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids… 
Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros. 
Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie? 
A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain. Photo by 
Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
Ladybug unexpectedly found during colonoscopyPhoto credit: 
Close-up of bottom of ladybug found in colonPhoto credit: 
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."