Mom shares why she took her tween daughter's phone away after having it for a year
She explained that it wasn't social media use that led to her decision, but rather "hormonal girls being jealous.”
“We can’t keep them from having phones forever ... they’re a part of the teenage experience now, but at what expense?”
Kids and phones—it’s the modern age dilemma of every parent. When to let them have a phone, what apps to allow them to use on it, how to monitor their usage…none of these are questions with set answers. The only thing we do know is that making the wrong choice can lead to serious consequences for a child’s mental health and development, so parents are understably wary.
One mom named Kailey recently shared how this anxiety even led her to taking away her tween daughter’s phone after she had already had it for a year.
In a video posted to her TikTok, Kelly explained that at first giving her two daughters phones at the age of 10 brought her “peace of mind.”
Phones gave her daughters more independence to roam the neighborhood and go to friend’s houses, while still being able to contact her if anything went wrong, and she could track their whereabouts. This felt especially important to her since so many parents don’t have landlines, nor do they exchange each other’s contact information.
Kelly “struggled” with this decision, given all the information out about granting kids phones too early, but ultimately thought this was the best option.
That is…until now. Kailey went on to say that over a year's time, she has seen firsthand how “detrimental” phones can be.
Perhaps most surprising of all, Kailey added that it wasn’t social media that was the big problem. “You can block the social media. That stuff’s all easy,” she said.
“What it is ... is hormonal girls being jealous.”
@the_geriatricmillennial Taking away my 11 year old daughters phone agter having one for a year because its feeling like more negative than positive lately. No opinions needed, parentinf kids in the digital age is hard enough but would love to hear what other parents are doing to maintain their kids independence while also being safe #momofteens #momoftweensgirls #momofdaughters #parentingadvice #teenswithphones #millennialmom #momsover30 ♬ original sound - Geriatric Millennial | Kailey
Kailey then shared the story of how her daughter was out with friends when one of those friends posted on Snapchat. Her daughter doesn’t have Snapchat but was recorded in the video. Another friend who does have the app saw the video and demanded to know why Kailey’s daughter was hanging out with that friend instead of them. Cue drama.
“And then my daughter feels bad and she has to make up a lie because she doesn’t want to hurt that friend’s feelings.”
While Kailey knows that jealousy and teenage girls have gone hand-in-hand long before iPhones, she felt that—despite all the precautions she’s taken—it only made the problem worse. This eventually led her to deactivating her now 11-year-old’s phone.
“We can’t keep them from having phones forever...they’re a part of the teenage experience now, but at what expense?” she concluded. “We as parents need to band together and agree that we’re not going to allow it until 14, 15, 16.”
Down in the comments, other parents understood Kailey’s experience completely.
One person shared “My daughter is 11. I reluctantly got her the phone last summer. I totally regret it. The texting drama is nuts. I have all social media blocked.”
However, many felt like this decision would bring about more problems—either by compromising her daughter’s trust or ending up making her feel isolated from her friends.
“When you take it away they will hide more from you,” one person said. “They will make accounts on their friends phones, and now they won’t talk to you about problems.”
“I was cut off from my friends because I was the only one without a phone (at 11 specifically) and it was the worst thing for friendships. Nobody cared to include the girl they can’t text. I’m 26 now,” another recalled.
Others pointed out that it might be overlooking the real problem: navigating conflict.
As one person put it: “It sounds like you need to have multiple conversations with her about making good friends vs bad friends and being mindful about who she surrounds herself with and a lesson on boundaries with friends.”
In a follow-up video, Kailey stood by her choice, acknowledging that while we’re never going back to a time without smartphones and their inherent issues, she thinks that waiting until her kid is older is the necessary “happy medium.”
Finding a happy medium is a good way of putting it, for sure. And getting to that balanced place might require some experimentation, since no two kids are alike, and since this is still fairly new parenting territory. Of course, knowing how long to keep kids as kids is not new and will always be a challenge for parents in one way or another.
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An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids…
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Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie?
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Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."