+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy
Culture

Kal Penn finally came out, sharing how he and his partner fell in love in his new book

Kal Penn fiance, Kal Penn book
Instagram

Kal Penn on Instagram

When people picture Kal Penn, they most likely think of a certain stoner with a munchie-induced craving for hamburgers. Others might remember Penn's two-year stint as an associate director in the Office of Public Engagement during the Obama presidency. But whether you associate him with White Castle or the White House, Penn recently revealed what most of the world did not know about him: that he is also the loving fiancé to his partner, Josh, of 11 years. His first public coming out came alongside the promotion for Penn's new memoir, "You Can't Be Serious."

The actor known for his roles in the "Harold and Kumar" movie series tweeted that the book delves into his story of growing up as the son of immigrants, moving out to Hollywood to pursue a dream of "making people laugh" (which apparently involved some racist auditions for shows like "Sabrina The Teenage Witch") and taking a break from acting to work at the White House. The book also covers Penn's relationship with his partner Josh, including their first date watching NASCAR.

According to People, "You Can't Be Serious" details their meet-cute, with Josh arriving at Penn's apartment with an 18 pack of Coors Light, ready to watch a car race. Penn wasn't quite ready to think of this date as romantic. But don't worry, this love story has a happy ending.

"I thought, 'This obviously is not going to work out,'" Penn told People. "I have one day off from The White House and this dude is unironically watching cars go around and making left turns? Next thing you know, it's been a couple months and we're watching NASCAR every Sunday. I'm like, 'What is happening?'"

I mean … if that's not love, I don't know what is.

For Penn, this aspect of his identity came later in life. He shared with People that "I discovered my own sexuality relatively late in life compared to many other people. There's no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s--- out at different times in their lives, so I'm glad I did when I did."

Penn also shared that coming out to his parents was relatively easy, telling People that "I know this sounds jokey, but it's true: When you've already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy. They're just like, 'Yeah, okay.'" He noted that everyone has different coming out experiences and that he was "very fortunate" to receive his family's support.

Though Penn has been very eager to share his relationship, he had the challenge of respecting Josh and his family, who "don't love attention and shy away from the limelight." This includes a "big disagreement" on whether or not to do a huge wedding or a tiny wedding. Penn told People, "I want the big ass Indian wedding. Josh, hates attention, [has said], 'Or we could just do quick 20-minute thing with our families and that's it.' So we have to meet halfway in the middle." I think all couples are really just different versions of tiny wedding Josh's and big ass wedding Kal's.

Of course, we're striving to create a world where instead of headlines reading "Kal Penn Comes Out and Is Engaged," we can see something as simple as "Kal Penn Is Engaged" without needing a public announcement of sexual orientation. But the truth is that for many cultures this subject is still under a challenging stigma. And for someone like Penn to normalize it helps others like him make it normal too.

Take a look at some of the responses he's received online.


One person wrote: "this was originally gonna be a generic Halloween tweet about a costume but given that he came out today & announced he is engaged to his boyfriend of 10 years I just wanna say thank you @kalpenn for inspiring a whole generation of Indian kids to break stereotypes. I owe u so much"

This comment pretty much sums it up: "because of you I felt safe pursuing entertainment, and now thanks to you millions of LGBTQ+ indian people will get to see themselves represented in the mainstream media."

Sometimes these seemingly small moments of expressing individual truth helps others live their lives in a more authentic way.

Others responded that they were disappointed in Penn's announcement, including journalist Louis Peitzman, who wrote "Kal Penn coming out by announcing he's marrying someone who isn't me … that's a choice."

Considering that Penn has been listed as "Most Eligible Bachelor" by People magazine, I'd say he's probably left many feeling unrequited love. It's well worth the broken hearts, Kal! Congrats to you and Josh.

Penn told People that he wanted his book to feel like "sharing a beer" together while he brought people into his stories. You'll be able to check out those stories for yourself on Nov 2.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
kal penn
Joy

Dog mom shares a funny video of the 'chores' her pitbull pup thinks she’s doing

"We didn't want a freeloader."

via Stiv XTZ/Pexels

A pitbull stares at the window, looking for the mailman.


Dogs are naturally driven by a sense of purpose and a need for belonging, which are all part of their instinctual pack behavior. When a dog has a job to do, it taps into its needs for structure, purpose, and the feeling of contributing to its pack, which in a domestic setting translates to its human family.

But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

Keep ReadingShow less
dogs
Joy

Here are the 13 most common lies people have heard from their employers

It's good to get them all out in the open.

via Sebastian Herrmann/Unsplash

A group of men look at paperwork.

The massive changes to the American workplace caused by the COVID-19 pandemic invited many to reconsider their professional lives. This reevaluation has led people to push for improved work-life balance, and many now are looking for work to provide a greater sense of meaning and purpose.

When the world returned to work after COVID, many believed they deserved to be treated better by their employers. This resulted in many taking a break from the workforce or changing professions altogether. It also helped usher in a more comfortable culture for calling out companies that don’t treat their employees respectfully.

Recently, a group of thousands came together on Reddit to expose the common mistruths that people often hear at the workplace. It all started when a Redditor named PretenstoKnow asked: "What's the most common lie employers tell their employees?" And over 2,600 people responded.

Keep ReadingShow less
work-life balance
Health

Doctor destroys the myth about 'clear pee' that just about everyone believes

This may change how much water you drink.

via Miriam Alonso/Pexels

A woman looking at her phone while sitting on the toilet.


One of the most popular health trends over the last few years has been staying as hydrated as possible, evidenced by the massive popularity of 40-oz Stanely Quencher cups. The theory among those who obsess over hydration is that, when you pee clear, you’ve removed all the waste in your body and are enjoying the incredible benefits of being 100% hydrated. Congratulations.

However, according to Dr. Sermed Mezher, an NHS doctor in the UK, peeing clear isn’t always a sign of being healthy.

Keep ReadingShow less
health
Internet

Amanda Seales breaks down the fascinating history behind the DAP handshake

It started in the military.

Photo Credit: William Fortunado via Canva

Amanda Seals breaks down history of DAP handshake

We've all seen people do it. Anywhere from basketball players on television to kids meeting up at the skating rink. Even former president Barack Obama when greeting a mixed group of men gave "DAP" to the Black men in the group, yet switched to a firm handshake when greeting the other men.

It was almost like watching the president code switch, but with body language, in a move that many Black Americans recognize as a gesture of acceptance and comradery. But did you know that there's an actual history behind the DAP that has nothing to do with looking cool? Social justice educator and actress, Amanda Seales, recently re-shared a clip from "The Real" where she was diving into the history of the handshake.

Seales, who has a master's degree in African American Studies from Columbia University, was also admittedly surprised when she learned there was a deeper meaning to the gesture.

Keep ReadingShow less
meaning of dap
Health

Neuroscientist reveals perfect amount of time to spend on social media for your mental health

Over several weeks, the participants felt less loneliness, depression and anxiety.

@rachelle_summers/TikTok

Anyone can use this checklist.

There are pretty clear cut guidelines on how much screen time kids should have, but for adults…not so much. And perhaps it’s this lack of clarity that leaves people to go on full blown digital detoxes or get off social media entirely.

And while there is certainly a case to be made for that decision, for many of us, that isn’t quite feasible—especially in certain lines of work.

Luckily, according to neuroscientist Rachelle Summers, there is a way we can still be on social media, without being subjected to its negative side effects.
Keep ReadingShow less
science
Joy

Woman details groom-to-be's behavior at bachelor party and it has people swooning

"The plot twist we DIDN'T expect."

Photo by Kats Weil on Unsplash

Ready for a refreshingly wholesome story?

The stereotypical image we get of bachelor parties is a booze-filled evening of depravity and bad choices. Followed of course by a massive hangover…and some regrets.

And granted, there are plenty of viral videos to show that this is sometimes the case. But there are also plenty of grooms who don’t see it as their “last night as a free man.” On the contrary, they see it as an opportunity to simply celebrate the next chapter with close friends.

Case and point: a husband-to-be named Luke, who apparently couldn’t stop “gushing” about his bride, Sam. This, according to a woman also named Sam, who happened to be at the bar Luke was having his bachelor party at.
Keep ReadingShow less
relationships
Trending Stories