Julia Roberts stars in her biggest role ever. She will literally never have a bigger one.

She’s been here a long time. She’s not going anywhere.

This is the best Julia Roberts movie that doesn’t ever show her face.

She plays Mother Earth.

And she has a message for you. Brace yourselves.


OUCH.

Yeah, she said that.

Wait, is this a snuff film?

Cold. But true.

It’s time to stop worrying about saving the Earth and start trying to save ourselves.

If you think Julia Roberts was great as Earth, check out Robert Redford as The Redwood, Harrison Ford as The Ocean (greatest role since Indiana Jones), Kevin Spacey as The Rainforest, and Penelope Cruz as Water. Yep, all the water.

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