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It's hard for refugees to adjust to their new life. It's even harder for a child.

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J&J Save the Children

A mother and her two sons were on a boat that got lost at sea while making their escape from Afghanistan.

The refugees (due to safety concerns, we won't use their names) had to throw everything they owned overboard. They were rescued by another boat and arrived in Germany with nothing, knowing no one, and moved into an airport-turned-refugee camp in Berlin. Despite the harrowing journey, their future looks brighter. Watch their story:

Until they arrived in Germany, these children’s lives had not been peaceful.

The home they came from was war-torn Afghanistan, where 1,943 civilian casualties were reported in the first quarter of 2016 alone. Many children there spend their days afraid for their safety, surrounded by armed violence and poverty, looting, and potential recruitment by militia groups.

Image via Save the Children, used with permission.

Children are at a particular risk in areas affected by war. Constant exposure to threat of danger — not just of bodily harm, but also of sexual violence and recruitment to armed groups — ultimately robs them of their ability to experience their childhoods properly. They don't get to play or go to school, and according to Save the Children, this has negative effects long after they leave their home countries. Refugee children often react to their trauma by withdrawing from others and refusing to play or laugh. Many end up with learning disabilities and developmental issues, and when the problems go untreated, they can turn into long-term psychological conditions.

For a child of war, the opportunity to move to a peacetime environment — even in an abandoned airport — is a chance at a new life.

The Tempelhoef airport refugee camp in Berlin, Germany. Image via Johnson & Johnson/YouTube.

Living conditions for refugees are far from optimal, but for children, the simple freedom to experience life as a kid represents a massive change from life in their war-occupied countries of origin. Getting to play, go to school, and have regular kid experiences does wonders, as evidenced by the sense of calm that the boy in the video shows. And he's likely to continue to thrive — studies on the psychological recovery of refugee children have shown that they are strikingly capable of survival in the direst of circumstances, and often, these same qualities of resilience are what give them the potential to thrive in their new homes.

An Afghanistan refugee and her son. Image via Johnson & Johnson/YouTube.

So what can we do?

For starters, we can find out more about the work that organizations like Save the Children are doing to make children's welfare "an integral part of every humanitarian response." If you're able to, donate with intention to causes that do the most positive work in war-occupied areas. Save the Children's charitable gift catalog, for instance, allows individuals to donate items to children in need. Additionally, Johnson & Johnson matches all Save the Children gifts up to $450,000, so your donation goes twice as far. (Don't have it in the budget? Johnson & Johnson also makes it possible to Donate a Photo.)

It's also imperative to look for ways to support refugees once they've made it out of their country of origin. Finding refuge in camps in peaceful countries is an imperative step toward escape for victims of war, but it’s no substitute for a safe home with doors that lock, education, employment, and health care — all of which are necessary for refugee families to settle fully and successfully in their new homes.

The best way to help is to simply look for ways to aid in the refugee crisis in general. Anything that can help establish a sense of normalcy for a refugee child is another step toward helping them achieve a happy life.

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Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

via Keswick Mountain Rescue Team/Instagram, Cat Protection/Youtube

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

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In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

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Health

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults. The symptoms may be surprising.

"75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety."

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Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults

If it seems that everyone is being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), there may be a reason and it's likely not the reason people think. Diagnostic criteria were initially based off of how ADHD presented in white children who were mostly male, so if you fell outside of that box your diagnosis was often overlooked. This is especially true in girls who then turned into undiagnosed or misdiagnosed women.

But it's not just women who were undiagnosed since the criteria mostly included ways in which hyperactivity showed up—you know, the "H" in ADHD. But not everyone with ADHD presents with the stereotypical hyperactivity bit. Dr. Heather Brannon breaks down ways in which ADHD is missed and how to identify it in adults.

In the first few minutes of the video, Brannon drops a statistic that feels mind-boggling: "75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety." Even though I fit into that category, consider my mind completely boggled because I thought I was a rarity and my psychiatrist was a magician. Turns out, he was probably just up to date on his continuing education credits.

Brannon talks about how people who may express feelings of overwhelm, anxiousness, and tiredness and who are easily frustrated may actually have undiagnosed ADHD.

It's pretty easy to overlook ADHD that presents with more of the attention deficit part of the diagnosis than the hyperactivity part. When someone is having difficulty sitting still, talking so fast that you can barely keep up and is constantly on the go, it's pretty easy to pinpoint there may be an issue.

But when the person is quiet, sits still but misses large chunks of conversations or is chronically forgetful and sleepy, it's much easier to miss the signs, according to Brannon.

Brannon says many people feel bad about themselves without knowing why, so having an answer for why you're feeling this way can be helpful.

The video is really fascinating and may help others recognize signs within themselves or with loved ones.

Give it a gander below:

This article originally appeared last year.

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Simple visualization exercise is proven to help people's long-term happiness

Seeing things clearly can make all the difference.

via Canva/Photos

A woman looking towards the future.

Often, our biggest mistakes come when we make decisions based on how we feel in the present instead of thoroughly considering their effect on the future. The amount of money we save, the food we eat, the relationships we choose to nurture and our career decisions will all have a significant effect on our futures. The problem is that connecting with someone so distant can be challenging. The good news is that some prominent researchers have figured out how we can connect with our older selves to improve our happiness in the present and the future.

Hal Hershfeld, a marketing, behavioral decision-making, and psychology professor at UCLA's Anderson School of Management, found that when we think about our future selves, our brains light up like we are thinking about a stranger. That’s a problem because most people are more apt to look out for themselves than strangers. According to Hershefeld, uncertainty is the big reason we can’t relate to our future selves because the future looks blurry. We don't know where we'll be, how we'll look, what we'll be doing, or what the state of the world will be.

visualization, happiness, hal hershfeldA woman thinking about the future.via Canva/Photos

How to be happy in the future

So, the key is to start building a relationship with our future self by creating a vivid image in our minds and hearts about what our lives will be like in 20 years. When we connect with that person, we’ll be much more likely to treat them well by saving a little more, hitting the gym more often and fixing today’s problems before they worsen.

Yale professor Laurie Santos, teacher of its most popular class, the Good Life, took a page from Hershfeld's research and regularly talks to her future self.

How to connect to your future self

“We’re navigating what our future self might want in the present moment, but we often perspective-take on our future self quite poorly,” Santos told Fast Company. “Hal’s research has found that just seeing a picture of your future self can bring [the idea] more into view. It helps with that process of trying to figure out what [the future you] would really want.”

“It’s profound,” she continues. “I really recommend people try it out. You see an image of yourself as much older and it’s like: I don’t want her to be unhealthy or have diabetes. I don’t want her knees to be screwed up. It really did change the amount that I worked out and how I was eating. It made it easier to make choices that would help my future self, rather than screw her over.”

visualization, happiness, hal hershfeldA woman on the couch thnking about the future.via Canva/Photos

Why you should talk to your future self

Hershfeld also believes in having regular conversations with your future self. “Make that more a part of your life so that when you’re making big decisions that are going to have impacts and consequences later on, you are thinking about that push and pull between your present and future selves,” he told UCLA Newsroom.

The professor also recommends that people write a letter to — and then from — their future self. This will help you visualize the future more vividly. “I also talk about trying to figure out what parts of your life are going off course, then creating pre-commitments to a certain course of action,” he continues.

Ultimately, it’s hard to plan for a future or have strong feelings about its direction if we don’t have a clear idea or image of what it'll look like. Our lives are our greatest endeavor, and in the same way someone might visualize an art project or what a thriving business looks like, we can do the same with our lives. The clearer the picture we have of our future today, the greater the chance we will one day get to live it.

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The 3-step Harvard conversation trick that makes shy people more likable

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

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10 gift ideas for that one family member that you never quite know how to shop for

They're not picky, they're selective. Here's a little help.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's the ultimate holiday gift guide for picky relatives

Shopping for holiday gifts can be exhausting in general but there are a few groups of people that make picking out gifts even more challenging. Those groups are the people who already have everything, teenage boys and people that tend to be a little persnickety when it comes to gifts. This doesn't mean that they don't want to receive gifts, they're just a little trickier to please.

So how are you supposed to shop for the persnickety present receiver? The truth is, unless they're shopping for themselves you'll never quite know if you've found them the perfect gift. But there are a few gift ideas that might help you get a little closer to putting a genuine smile on their face, you just might have to do a little detective work to personalize it to their liking.

Whether you have time for sleuthing or not, here are some quick gift ideas for the picky present person in your family that might make them feel like you didn't give up on trying to make their holiday special.

Santa Claus Abc GIF by HULUGiphy

Gifts that make them feel bonita

There's nothing like getting to feel pampered for a little while or the feeling of something luxurious against your skin. If you've got a few extra coupons, reward points or some extra money to spend splurging on making that hard to shop for person feel special, spring for a something with a little more pizazz.

1. Something leather or cashmere

This can be anything from a nice wallet, handbag, a beautiful scarf or shawl. Nothing says luxurious like the smell of real leather or the feel of cashmere. You don't have to break the bank either. Utilize your store reward points, find something clearance or stick to the smaller items but have them packaged professionally at the store to add to the experience and feel of luxury.

Cbs Christmas GIF by HULUGiphy

2. A fancy tea or coffee sampler

These high-end samplers usually already come in pretty packaging so you should be safe to just toss it in a gift bag and zhuzh up the tissue paper. If you know they're a tea or coffee enthusiast, you can take it a step further by doing a subscription from their favorite brand.

3. Indulgent bath products

We aren't talking Bath & Body Works here. We're talking things like French milled soaps with a creamy lather and light scents that make you feel like you're walking along side lilacs. Handmade bath bombs, lotions and scented candles from a local artisan who carefully crafts each individual item.

Charlie Brown Dancing GIFGiphy

4. The gift of books

If you know the person you're buying for is an avid reader, you can try to find an autographed copy or first edition of their favorite book. You can also buy them an upgraded e-reader with one of the latest book from their favorite author downloaded on it. Or if you know they love to read but just don't know what books they love, purchasing a gift card to the local bookstore in their town could go a long way.

Gifts to make them feel seen

Some of the best gifts are the ones that let people in your life know that you notice them. It's not always something fancy and expensive, sometimes it's the extra care when picking it out that counts the most. That can lead to amazing gift exchanges of uniquely personalized gifts.

Christmas Tree Art GIF by Tyler RestyGiphy

5. Artwork can speak to people

Finding a local artist that has unique artwork that can't be picked up at a chain store can feel extra special. Not only are you supporting a local artist, but you're also proving that you've paid attention to the type of art the gift receiver likes.

6. Personalized keepsake

Maybe this particular family member lost a pet or person close to them. You can get a custom portrait painted of them and their loved one. There are also companies that make teddy bears out of old clothes complete with a little voice memo from the deceased loved one pulled from old voicemails or home videos.

7. A full belly

A gourmet food basket could do the trick for that picky relative. They're filled with all sorts of artisan cheese and delicacies for those who enjoy high-end snacking. There are also companies that will do a subscription for foods and snacks from around the world that can be perfect for trying new things.

Give them the gift of experiences

If you're feeling extra generous, gifting an experience can be a big winner for the hard to please person. It doesn't have to be a trip to Martha's Vineyard or Paris to count as an experience, though if you have that kind of gift giving money, go for it. But there are plenty of smaller things that would fill the role of an experience gift.

Christmas Wow GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy

8. A spay day

This does not mean you necessarily have to splurge on a full day at the spa doing all of the services they have to offer. Plenty of spas have massage packages that allow the participant to spend as much time as they'd like enjoying amenities like the sauna, jacuzzi and steam room. Of course you can always spring for a full spa package that includes a facial, manicure, pedicure and more. The options are fairly extensive.

9. Tickets to something they want to see

Whether it's a musical, play or one of their favorite bands, gifting a pair of tickets is a fantastic option for a gift. This is also one that requires a little detective work on your part if you don't have this sort of information handy from the interactions you have with them. Once you know what they've been dying to see or hear, grab a pair of tickets and put them in a fancy gift box for them to unwrap. They'll be thrilled.

Happy Merry Christmas GIF by LifetimeGiphy

10. Cooking classes

No, that's not telling them that you think they're a terrible cook, though if they are a terrible cook this may not be the gift for them. But if you're confident that they enjoy cooking, gifting them cooking classes for Italian, French or some other cuisine could be a fun experience for them to have. Come on, who wouldn't want to tell people they make their own pasta from scratch after learning it from an Italian chef?

Pleasing everyone during any time of the year is impossible but that unlikelihood increases exponentially when it comes to holiday gift giving. Some people will always be Visa gift card gifts because you've tried everything in the book to try to ensure they like their gift to no avail. But the hope is that something on this list does the trick or sparks an idea that may be perfect for that difficult gift receiver in your family. Just remember that in the end, spending time with people you love is the goal, not who gave the best gift.

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Her blind sister was missing out on the holiday spirit, so she had a brilliant gift wrap idea

"She’s always a little sad that she can’t see the lights or gift wrap."

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash
gold and white gift box

The holiday season capitalizes on all things light, bright and sparkly--something that Reddit user 1228maj's blind sister has missed out on. So in a touching post shared on the social media platform, she explained how she plans to make this year's holiday extra special and inclusive: enter puffy paint.

"My sister is blind. This year I’m making her Christmas wrap tactile with puffy paint!" she captioned her post. She accompanied it with a photo of wrapped gift in red, white and blue snowman wrapping paper. The photo shows the raised texture outlining the shape and details of the snowman, as well as snowflakes by the thoughtful sibling.


"She’s always a little sad that she can’t see the lights or gift wrap so this [year] I’m making it tactile for her as a surprise! I’m also going to use a velvety bow so that is tactile too," she added, describing her sister as her "best friend for almost 30 years now. She’s the best older sis ever!"

The post garnered resounding praise for the strong sisterly love.

"This is what the holidays are all about, thoughtful gestures filled with love," another Redditor commented. And another added, "This is such a thoughtful idea! You’re bringing the magic of Christmas to her in a way that truly matters. She’s so lucky to have you!"

And a number of blind Redditors also chimed in. "As someone who is blind, that’s amazing!" one wrote. And another commented, "I love this so much. As a fellow human on the blindness spectrum, I touch EVERYTHING! You are an incredible sibling for doing this.

When asked what she got her sister for a gift, 1228maj replied that it's also a well-textured gift. "It’s a slate blue wrap/jacket kind of thing from a Christmas market we go to," she wrote. "It’s woven with silkier threads making a paisley design and a thick golden-yellow wool yarn running through it in places. It’s really cool looking and feeling!"

The description spawned further questions from Redditors about her sister's vision and if she could see colors, "so 1228maj kindly explained her sister's journey into blindness.

"Growing up, she was legally blind but still had minimal vision (no vision in one eye and reduced field and very fuzzy view in the other) so she could see colors, especially if there was high contrast," she explained. "A few years ago though she had an infection in her eye that took the remainder of her vision. She actually still ‘sees’ colors and shapes in her minds eye. She describes it as a built in screen saver haha."

Another user asked if 1228maj had ever considered working with an adaptive clothing company. She shared that she is a music teacher, however she has learned everything from her sister about helping those who are visually impaired. "My sister works for the state to support visually impaired students, so I learned everything I know about adaptations from her!" she added.

The thread soon became a discussion of other thoughtful tactile touches to add to the wrapping, including using pom poms as ornaments on Christmas trees, snowflake 3D stickers, and small pipe cleaners to use for arms on some of the snowmen on the wrapping paper.

The finishing touch for the present? "I’m planning to braille the card I’ll put on before I give it to her :)," she wrote.

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