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If you haven't tuned in to the RNC yet, here are 13 reasons why you should.

If you haven't tuned in to the Republican National Convention yet, you’re not alone.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.


Maybe you’re a Republican who gnashes their teeth every time Donald Trump opens his mouth. Maybe you’re a Democrat who’s already heard "Jail Shillary Clinton" enough for one decade. Or maybe you’re just a person who gets bored by boring speeches.

And yet, you still want to do your civic duty. You want to be able to participate in the watercooler conversation. Or, perhaps, you’re a nervous internet writer who dabbles in politics and you want to continue to justify your salary to the publication that employs you.

Fear not! Even if the speeches ramble, the music is suspect, and the balloon drop is anticlimactic, there are many ways to make watching the RNC a fun experience for the whole family:

1. Focus on the fun hats.

When you watch a baseball game, you see baseball caps. When you watch a rodeo, you see cowboy hats. When you watch bearded 27-year-old programmers in "Buffy" T-shirts hitting on college students, you see fedoras.

The hats at the RNC are in another league. A noble league ... like The League of Nations.

A league that peaked in 1918.

Cowboy hats?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

Check.

Coonskin caps?

Photo by Timothy A. Clary/Getty Images.

Check!

Hats directly from the costume chest for the West Oakport Community Players production of "The Music Man"?


Photo by Jeff J. Mitchell/Getty Images.

Check and mate.

If you’re a fan of delightfully anachronistic haberdashery, the Republican National Convention is the small-screen event of the mid-2010s.

2. Watch campaign operatives desperately try to spin obvious screwups into success stories.

Melania Trump's apparent cribbing of a passage from a 2008 Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the RNC has already sent Trump's surrogates into a flurry of questionably credible but extremely entertaining denials.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Some simply pretended it didn't happen. Some tried to explain it away as a case of the two women simply having the exact same thoughts on the exact same subject. Others suggested that — hey! — only 7% of the speech was plagiarized, which really isn't that much. (College students on deadline, take note!)

There's no feeling quite so warm and cozy as sitting back on your couch, knowing there's a problem out there in the world ... and it's someone else's job to deal with it.

3. Cheer on the dancing delegates.

2012 convention attendees get their clap on. Photo by Robyn Beck/Getty Images.

The RNC remains America’s #1 source of elderly people who’ve still got it, show it, and want you to know it.

Curious what style of arrhythmic jerking was popular in 1962? Looking forward to seeing some semi-coordinated American flag-ography? Want to watch a county commissioner from Ladysmith, Wisconsin, gingerly hip-bumping the state comptroller of Tennessee?

You only get one chance every four years. Seize it!

4. Gawk at the ridiculously over-the-top entrances.

For Donald Trump, last night's raucous, backlit entrance to "We Are the Champions" was actually pretty restrained.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

It can only get more grandiose from here. Will we see him riding in on a hoverboard? Descending from the ceiling on ropes? Time-jumping in from the future? It's only Tuesday! The possibilities are endless.

5. Feel nostalgic about celebrities you haven’t thought about since you were a kid/before you were born.

Sure, "celebrity" might not the exact right word, but it totally would be if you had a time machine.

Scott Baio (Chachi!) was there Monday night.


Ehhhhhhhhhh. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

So was Antonio Sabato Jr., who totally was in something once.

Oh and hey, remember soap star Kimberlin Brown? No? Well, she’s speaking too.

Like Pogs, jelly shoes, and friendship bracelets, you might not have missed them and you might not have even loved them all that much even at the height of their popularity, but they're back, and sure, why not!

6. Cringe at the massive pandering fails.

In a Monday session with delegates from Pennsylvania, Paul Ryan took a few seconds to wave a Terrible Towel — an emblem of the Pittsburgh Steelers — in the air...

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

...which irked some in the city of Cleveland, where the RNC is happening. They were none too pleased to see the Republican leader brandish the banner of their bitter football rival.

In other news, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are apparently different cities. You learn new things when you watch the RNC!

7. Shovel popcorn into your mouth as Trump and his team pick random, hugely entertaining fights with GOP lawmakers.

Fittingly, for a candidate whose highest profile accomplishment is hosting a reality show, Donald Trump is really, really, good at draaaaaaaaaama.

Even before the speeches started, top Trump aide Paul Manafort attacked Ohio Gov. John Kasich — America's Republican uncle — as "petulant" for refusing to attend the convention.

Photo by J.D. Pooley/Getty Images.

"Manafort’s problem, after all those years on the lam with thugs and autocrats, is that he can’t recognize principle and integrity," Kasich strategist John Weaver fired back in an e-mail to The New York Times, calling out Manafort's public relations work for the former president of Ukraine.

Rawr! Go get 'em, boys!

8. Daydream about what LeBron James is doing elsewhere in Cleveland while all this is going on.


Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

One of the great things about Cleveland hosting the convention is that, if you’re not feeling the program, you can just close your eyes and imagine what King James is up to just a few blocks away at any given moment. Maybe he's grabbing a beer at the Radisson lobby bar across the street or wandering around the perimeter of Quicken Loans Arena trying to catch a Pikachu!

Train your brain to conjure 'Bron, and you're sure to realize a truth that hardened political insiders have long known: The mental image of LeBron James doing anything beats watching the 19th lieutenant governor shuffle haltingly around the stage to Kid Rock’s "Born Free."

9. Enjoy the spectacle of news organizations testing out new technology with mixed results.

The Washington Post has a robot!


Come for the debut of an amazing, cutting-edge mass communication tool. Stay for the schadenfreude of when it inevitably, hilariously tips slowly forward and plants on its face.

10. Applaud the fact-checkers doing A+ work.

It's pretty hard to wallow in self pity about having to sit through three prime-time hours of the Trump Family Variety Spectacular when the heroes at FactCheck.org are spending their week watching every minute of both conventions evaluating every ridiculously hyperbolic claim made by every marginal elected official on that stage, presumably with their eyelids taped open.


Every single American owes these people a drink. At the very least, we need to all go in for a gift basket.

11. Savor the meme-worthy speech faces.

Like this one:

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

11. Revel in the ramshackle production quality.

A delegate stands on stage. The lights are hot. He's got his suit, tie, and firmest scowl on. He's projecting a stern air of authority. He's feeling good.

And then, this happens:


One prop master's catastrophe is one potato-chip-eating, couch-slouching American's perfect television.

12. Rock out to the endless playlist of music you love to hate to love to wonder what even is it?

Between the speeches, the logistical announcements, and the arcane points of order, the playlist on the first day of the 2016 RNC featured a weird collection of B sides — "Limelight" by Rush, The Who's "Eminence Front," "Stay With Me" by Rod Stewart — that undoubtedly delighted your Uncle Craig:

"I have an extra ticket to see Yes with your name on it." Photo via iStock.

But it pretty much left everyone else scratching their heads. And you know what, scratching your head is immensely soothing and gratifying, so thanks, music team!

13. Appreciate that you are watching democracy happen in real time — weirdly — exactly the way it’s supposed to.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You may not be thrilled about the election. You may think the ads are tacky. You may wish the participants were different (dear God, you may wish the participants were different).

You can hate everything about the American political process and still be grateful this is how our political transitions go down rather than when the guy in charge dies and his 9-year-old son takes over, or when a bunch of tanks plow over the White House while the president is in Bermuda, or when every federal employee is replaced by an alien impostor except for a single, mild-mannered Nebraska congressman who, luckily, is played by Kurt Russell.

New political administrations in America happen after a bunch of nerdy bureaucrats make a bunch of boring speeches about freedom, justice, and patriotism in support of candidates we don’t like very much but who we will dutifully go out and choose between in November.

It’s unglamorous. It’s stressful. It’s frustrating and exhausting. But I’m going to tune in. Because it really is the worst.

Except for all the other options.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

cats, olympics, luge, winter olympics, cat hunting instincts

Some cats just can't resist a luger.

Cats are famously among the most efficient hunters on Earth, total ambush experts with keen hearing, excellent night vision, lightning-fast reflexes, and the ability to stalk in silence. The fact that humans domesticated these carnivorous predators to keep as cuddly pets is pretty wild when you think about it, especially knowing they could do some real damage to us if they wanted to.

Thankfully, they generally don't want to. Pet cats want to pretend-stalk squirrels from the sofa, go wild with a laser pointer, and do their best to catch Olympic lugers on the TV as they whizz by.


Wait, catch lugers? Yep. Watch:

The comment section on the video is filled with images of cats trying to catch not only lugers but skiiers, figure skaters, hockey players, and even curling stones. And people just loved seeing the tiny hunters pawing at the screen:

"Watching cats watch the Olympics is the best way to watch the Olympics."

"Wow she almost caught that guy."

"The ear flick in confusion after not catching it is so damn cute lol."

"Do the athletes even know they're up against such a terrifying foe?"

"Hey so actually this is bad for the cats because they can get overly invested and join the Jamaican bobsled team."

Others shared their cats' love of luge and other Olympic sports as well:


@lagatitalunalollipop

Lunas is loving the Winter Olympics #luge #winterolympics #cats #funnycat #olympics

@kristiinawilson

Our CH kitten is OBSESSED with watching Olympic luge #olympics #luge #funnycat #chcat #olympics2026

@micaela_bona

Ci sarà anche lei alle prossime olimpiadi !!! 🐈⛸️ #iceskating #cat #olympics #milanocortina2026 #iliamalinin

What triggers a cat's hunting instincts?

Whether cats were first domesticated to be our furry little friends or to keep rodents away from our food stores is debatable, but there's no question that their penchant for catching mice was a perk for humans throughout history. Most modern housecats aren't kept for that purpose, but they still act like they're hunters-in-training.

Cats' predatory instincts don't go away just because they lead a cushy indoor life, as every cat owner cat attest. How often do we see a seemingly bored cat suddenly come to attention, eyes wide, ears engaged, back hunched, locked in on a bird or squirrel out the window? Those instincts are triggered by sudden movements, which is why the luge and other quick-moving sports have so many kitties pawing at the screen.

Horizon Animal Hospital shares some tips for playing with your cat in a way that honors their predatory nature:

- Provide views of the great outdoors

Be sure they can look out windows to see the wildlife. Just be aware that some cats may find their inability to catch the prey they see frustrating and become aggressive because of it.

cat, kitten, cat harness, cat on a leash, indoor cat Indoor cats can enjoy the outdoors safely with a harness and leash.Photo credit: Canva

- Let them explore outside safely

Veterinarians and wildlife experts recommend keeping pet cats indoors, but there are ways for cats to enjoy outdoor time in ways that are safe for them and other animals. Setting up an outdoor enclosure, or a "catio," for them is one option. Taking them outside on a harness and leash is another.

- Prioritize interactive play

Cats quickly become bored with toys that don't simulate prey, so finding interactive toys for them is vital. Catnip mice, feathers on a string, and other things they can attack or toss around are great choices. Puzzle toys and interactive feeders can also keep them busy while you're away.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

- Try a laser pointer

Laser pointers really are the ideal way to play with a cat. They can't seem to help themselves when the laser light starts darting around the room, and it's great entertainment for them and for their humans. Avoid shining it in their eyes, and it's helpful to end a laser play session by pointing the laser dot on a toy they can "kill," like a toy mouse, to avoid frustration.



Pop Culture

People share their favorite 'non-tech' hobbies that keep them sane in a digital world

Some inspo for those craving a bit of simplicity and a break from the screens.

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies

Working with your hands is medicine for the soul.

Digital fatigue is brutal. It robs us of our focus, productivity, and most importantly, our joy. Thankfully, there is a way to escape the never-ending flurry of notifications, emails, and pings and reclaim our inner peace in a way that’s not only effective but fun as well.

Cue: analog hobbies.


The health benefits of analog hobbies are well-documented. Whether they be artistic pursuits like painting or drawing, which help ease racing thoughts and anxiety, or physical activities like gardening or dancing, which get us more active, or some combination of both, like cooking or woodworking, which enlists both the practical and creative sides of our brains.

During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us found out firsthand just how soothing tech-free hobbies could be. According to one survey, nearly two-thirds of Americans picked up a new hobby during this time. And even though we are more or less back to the regular hustle and bustle of pre-COVID times, the need to unplug is just as important now as ever.

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Do any of us still make sourdough? media2.giphy.com

If you’re looking for inspiration for your next low-to-no tech hobby, keep reading.

Recently, a Reddit user shared that they had been “craving a bit of simplicity and a break from screens,” and in the process rediscovered former analog passions like sketching and playing vinyl records.

“Personally, I’ve found that stepping away from tech even for just an hour or two really helps with mental clarity and stress relief," they wrote. "Also, there’s something so satisfying about making something with your hands, right?"

“It made me wonder: what non-tech hobbies have you all picked up or returned to recently?" they added. "Whether it’s knitting, gardening, brewing your own coffee, or something else that doesn’t require a charger or Wifi.”

Boy, did people respond in kind. Be it with classics like cross-stitching, or some out-of-the-box ideas like sending postcards to German princes (more on that later). Many even shared samples of their WIPS (works in progress), which was doubly inspiring.

Take a look at some of our favorites:

Fused glass is my current hobby. I just enjoy doing it and don't look at my phone for hours when I'm cutting glass. Unfortunately, I do have a lot of cuts on my hands.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A fused glass bowl. Reddit

“Solo board games. There are tons of different mechanics, difficulties and themes…My favorites are Tiny Epic Dungeons, Nemo’s War, Zombicide Black Plague, Threetale, Grove, Valor and Villainy, Ludwig’s Labyrinth.”

Aquascaping is such a good break from tech. I have all the time I spend fiddling with rocks and plants, and once that’s done and I stock the tank with fish and shrimp and whatever else, I have a living piece of art that is 100% custom and always changing.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An example of aquascaping. Reddit

“Volunteering at the animal shelter.”

“Journaling! My thoughts feel so much clearer after writing everything down. :-)”

“I've fallen in love with whittling.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Whittled Halloween figures. Reddit

“Gardening has probably become the one that’s changed my life the most, it gets me more active, I spend and enjoy hours outside now. It’s taken a big bite out of my grocery bill, it also forces me to cook more. I extend the season by growing cool season crops, keeping a small hydro grow indoors and starting seeds in March. I also vermicompost indoors which is oddly fun and comforting — digging in dirt in the middle of winter and anticipating spring. I find having year round gardening activities helps with SAD and it’s done a ton for my overall mental health and sense of wellbeing.”

“Water coloring bookmarks.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A water color painted bookmark. Reddit

“I’ve been doing film photography since 1973 and am still at it in my home darkroom.”

“Repairing old electric toy trains. I find myself looking forward to unplugging and taking these things apart to fix or replace a part or two and bring them back to life. The smell of oil, soldering a wire or two, working through a fairly simple mechanical problem - these are the only things keeping me sane these days!”

“Counted cross-stitch work in progress”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A cross-stitched pattern of a goddess-like woman. Reddit

“I have gotten back into writing letters to pen pals but most of them are what I call fictional pen pals. That's where I create a character and that character writes a pen pal letter to another created character. It's a lot of fun and makes me slow down to actually write a letter and I can live a more exciting life through my character.”

Latte-art for me :)”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Latte art.Reddit

“I write letters to royals and nobles world wide and collect their responses. It makes going to the mailbox a lot of fun! I always send birthday, anniversary, and coronation day greetings. Other times it might be commenting on an event they attended or appearance they made. Other times letters of condolence if they've experienced a recent death of a loved one. You'd be surprised how many respond personally, particularly minor royals or nobles (the German princes have been particularly gracious with their time to write back).”

“Been a woodworker since I was a wee lad. It’s just super relaxing and mentally rewarding to dive into a project… Here's one of my latest…Most of the work was done with muscle powered hand tools…”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A handmade wood cabinet.Reddit

“Making collages from old magazines. It’s somewhat mindless and cheap to get started. People give away free old magazines on Facebook marketplace or you can buy cheap ones on eBay.”

“Making my own stencils from cardboard and using them on my gelli plate. I’m into surface design at the moment.”

Watercolor painting

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A watercolor butterfly.Reddit

“I’m getting back into art welding. Last week, I found myself in a flow state and forgot to eat. I’m also stunned at how encouraging different old dudes have been to me at supply shops. It was not like that 13 years ago when I learned.”

“Knitting socks.”

“Dollhouse miniature modeling.”

“Getting back into pottery. I get into my zen zone when my hands get dirty.”

“After dabbling before, I’m now taking up bookbinding! Despite the latest trend in doing up fancy versions of paperbacks, you can actually start with stuff you have at home and would otherwise throw away. The first book we’re making in my coptic class uses cardboard packaging and regular printer paper.”

“Camping and backpacking are the most fulfilling for me. I enjoy hiking, birding, tying knots, chilling in a hammock, reading, and photography. I get to do all those things in one hobby.”

“Mandolin and tenor guitar.”

“I paint portraits in oils - mostly of family, or pets. Here is my latest piece. It’s a very rewarding hobby and I’ve met some amazing people along the way.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An oil portrait of a baby. Reddit

“My all-time favourite analog hobbies are dirt biking, snowmobiling, skiing at 2-3 years old, and they certainly do not need WiFi. Why are they such a great escape from the digital world? Cause you literally leave your home, go where theres no cell service, and you only focus on the machine/skis and never the phone while doing them. Perfect, best escape from the digital world.”

“I go on walks looking for 4 leaf clovers and lay them out in a photo album and think of it kind of like art meets meditation meets scavenger hunting.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Pressed four leaf clovers. Reddit

“Penmanship. Specifically: writing cursive with a fountain pen. I've started collecting some pens, improved my handwriting, started journaling a little, and even ground some of my own nibs.”

“Public lectures, author meet-and-greets, book clubs, meetups in general- local colleges often have special interest groups open to the public, public libraries usually have some event going on, farmer's markets and local festivals frequently have interesting people who love to talk about what they do.”

“I love air dry clay, particularly the brand Das.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A clay pumpkin.Reddit

“Rockhounding, because it literally gets me out of the house and going places.”

For those wondering, rockhounding is searching for and collecting rocks, minerals, fossils, gems, etc. Some folks get specific on what types of colors or shapes they aim to find. And while rockhounding itself involves no tech, you might need to hop online to make sure you're allowed to take items from the spot you're in.

“I love fishing! It's so peaceful!”

“I danced as a kid and recently got back into it through a dance fitness class. Now I'm choreographing my own dances. It's fun, active, and creative.”

Let this be your sign to carve out some time for joy today, in whatever way feels best. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you for it.

This article originally appeared last year.

Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

boomer parents, parenting styles, dishonest harmony, parents, older parents, '70s and '80s parents,

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.


Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture

Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

otter, lion, dog, golden retriever, beaver
Phtoo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

An otter, a lion, a golden retriever, a beaver

In the never-ending quest to understand ourselves better, or at least have just one more distraction from whatever it is we should be doing, here comes the animal personality test. And the craziest part is (at least for me), it's kind of accurate.

The truth is, these days anyone can create their own personality tests. (And they do… and I've taken them.) Which Sex and the City character are you? Who is your inner Marvel superhero? What color is your heart? (Carrie, Ant Man, and black respectively.)


But this particular animal archetype quiz, in actuality, is a model developed in the late 90s by Gary Smalley, an author with a psychology background and a PhD in counseling. Co-created by author John Trent, the two wrote a book called The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences. The idea is to strike a balance between the tender, "soft" side of love and the "hard," more direct side. After taking the quiz provided in the book (and now online), one can find out if their temperament is the lion, the beaver, the otter, or the golden retriever.

Even though it was written as a love-based tool, this personality test is often mentioned in the corporate world as a way to find out how people relate in the workforce. Jasper Rose, a financial recruiting agency, shared the quiz on their website, but notes, "This model should be taken with a pinch of salt. These animal categories describe the natural leaning of your temperament. In other words, they aren’t entirely fixed, as personalities are flexible and change over time, and people are complex." (So something an otter would say.)

Without further ado, the personality test can be taken (among many places) through this Michigan State University worksheet here:

personality test, lion, beaver, otter, golden retriever Gary Smalley and John Trent's personality testPhoto Credit: Michigan State University

As with most personality tests, these questions can be tricky, as many times more than one answer will apply. For example, one question asks that you rank what best describes you from the following: "likes authority, enthusiastic, sensitive feelings, likes instructions." Another: "Takes charge, takes risks, loyal, accurate." It's possible to relate to all four statements equally, making this a flawed test.

But if you're in it for a lighthearted look at something that may vaguely describe you, here's a breakdown of the results:

THE LION

lion, personality, fierce, strong, animal A lion roams. Giphy GIF by Savage Kingdom, Nat Geo

These, according to the test, are the natural-born leaders. They are confident, take-charge, strong, and independent. From the Jasper Rose website:

"Strengths: visionary, persistent, practical, productive, initiates change and projects, communicates directly, enjoys being challenged, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader.

Weaknesses: Insensitive/cold, sarcastic, self-sufficient, impatient, stubborn, overlooks risks, controlling at times, can be too direct."

An educational worksheet on the Community Engaged Learning website (Michigan State University) adds that lions, "are great at initiating communication, but not great at listening." They add their natural desires are "freedom, authority, variety, difficult assignments, opportunity for advancement."

THE OTTER

otter, personality, silly, cute, animal An otter is surprised. Giphy GIF by Nashville Tour Stop

These are our happy social types. "They are often energetic and enthusiastic, with a tendency to be playful and enjoy humor. Otters are generally creative and enjoy trying new things but may struggle with follow-through. They value relationships and are often empathetic and compassionate towards others."

"Strengths: Outgoing, optimistic, personable, communicator, dreamer, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate.

Weaknesses: Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerative, egocentric, unstable, struggle with follow-through, impulsive, needs social approval, easily offended."

The Center for Relationship Education adds, "Otters find it easy to be soft on people. It is also easy for them to be soft on problems. Otters need to learn to say ‘No’ and provide the hard-side balance of healthy boundary setting."

THE BEAVER

beaver, animal, personality type, snacks, cute Beaver enjoying a snack. Giphy GIF by San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance

These are our go-tos for decisive, detail-oriented people who actually enjoy structure and routine. "Beavers tend to be cautious and risk-averse, preferring to follow established procedures rather than taking chances. They are also known for their analytical skills and ability to organize complex information. However, they may struggle with flexibility and creativity, and may sometimes be perceived as overly critical."

"Strengths: Analytical, thorough, decision-maker, deliberate, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing.

Weaknesses: Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful."

The educational handout adds that in terms of relationships, "Beavers are good listeners, communicate details, and are usually diplomatic."

THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

dog, golden retriever, personality quiz, loyalty Golden Retriever adorably looks up. Giphy GIF by WoofWaggers

These are our loyal, dependable friends/lovers. "They also tend to avoid conflict and prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships. However, they may struggle with making decisions and taking action, and may sometimes come across as passive or indifferent."

"Strengths: Calm, supportive, agreeable, easy-going, loyal, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous, values relationships, stable and consistent.

Weaknesses: Selfish, stingy, indirect with others, resists change, procrastinator, unmotivated, lacks initiative, indecisive, fearful, worrier, can be co-dependent."

The Center for Relationship Education notes, "Goldens’ strong tendency toward the soft-side of love can lead to issues of co-dependence and enabling. Goldens need to learn to balance their natural soft-side with some hard-side qualities."

As with most quizzes like these, most of us are a combination of traits not easily put into labeled boxes. If nothing else, it's a creative way to get people thinking about how they interact with one another in a variety of situations. (Which is totally something a golden retriever like me would say.)

This article originally appeared last year

baby names, dog names, golden retriever, name shame, cvs, funny, funny tiktok, funny dog videos, names
@sarahwithscrubs/TikTok, used with permission

Honestly, most of us would have reacted this way.

It started like any ordinary pharmacy errand. A Michigan woman named Sarah was waiting at CVS to pick up a prescription for her “son.” When another woman waiting in line overheard the name of her “son,” she apparently couldn’t help but let out an unsolicited opinion.

“You’ll really name your son anything, huh?” the woman said with a sigh.


The name in question? Whiskey.

baby names, dog names, golden retriever, name shame, cvs, funny, funny tiktok, funny dog videos, names At least it wasn't Bubbles. Photo credit: Canva

Now, if you’re picturing a tiny human in a onesie named after your dad’s favorite Friday-night drink, and feeling a little baffled in the process, don’t worry. So was everyone else.

Except Whiskey isn’t a little boy. He’s a red golden retriever.

Yep. Sarah’s “son” is of the four-legged variety, currently undergoing cancer treatments and racking up a pharmacy bill that could rival a small country’s GDP. She and her husband get his prescriptions filled at their local CVS because (fun fact) many human and animal meds are the same, just at different doses.

baby names, dog names, golden retriever, name shame, cvs, funny, funny tiktok, funny dog videos, names You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. media4.giphy.com

As Sarah explained to Newsweek, this strategy saves them a few bucks, but can certainly lead to some incredible misunderstandings.

In her TikTok video, which has now been watched over 3 million times, Sarah retold this CVS name-shaming incident, and viewers collectively lost it.

@sarahwithscrubs I should’ve thrown in I was picking up his cancer meds too lol 🤭😂 #fyp #foryoupage #storytime #dogs #smallcreator ♬ original sound - sarah renee

One commenter shared, “I was shaming you too until you said dog!” Another wrote, “I mean, Whiskey is a horrible name for a child 😂 But for a dog? Okay lol.”

However, a few folks came to Sarah’s defense. One person noted, “There are women named Brandi—what’s wrong with Whiskey?” Another admitted, “in my 49 years I didn't know CVS filled pet meds!"

It’s the kind of mix-up that reminds us how funny life can be when the human and animal worlds collide. Because let’s face it: Whiskey the dog? Adorable. Whiskey the toddler? Maybe… less so. It might be a mostly unspoken rule, but a rule nonetheless.

As for what became of that misunderstanding, Sarah shared that when the other woman called Whiskey a "horrible" name for a child to grow up with that could lead to getting bullied in school, Sarah quipped back with "Well, he's a dog. So I don't think so." Upon that realization, Sarah told Newsweek that she “apologized very nicely” once she learned that Whiskey was, in fact, a dog.

As Sarah put it, the stranger “just left in a hurry, probably to think about her actions later.”

Meanwhile, TikTok is still chuckling, and celebrating one very good boy with a name that fits him perfectly.

Moral of the story: some names are meant for baby humans, like Zach or Emma. Others are for the fur babies who greet you at the door with a wagging tail and oodles of love…like Whiskey. 🐾🥃

This article originally appeared last year