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How to teach kids to love and respect their bodies, in 8 steps.

How you love and respect your body is how your children will learn to love and respect their bodies.

“Mommy,” my 6-year-old daughter said, “you look beautiful!”

We were in Kauai, Hawaii, and I was in a store trying on a beautiful, sensual bikini with my 42-year-old post-baby body.

I never had worn or owned a bikini — not even when I played soccer and my body was strong and lean. And my body has changed a lot since then. These breasts have offered my children milk for a total of four years. My hips have balanced children on them while cooking dinner, coaching soccer, and helping another child down off the monkey bars at the playground.

Photo via iStock.

I think there comes a time in many women’s lives when we decide we will embrace and embody the sensual, beautiful women we are instead of trying to change ourselves. There I was in the changing room, standing before my children and husband in a Hawaiian bikini. I felt beautiful. A bit self-conscious at first, but beautiful. My family saw my beauty too.

For two weeks on the beaches of Kauai, I wore that bikini. Rubbing my round and flabby stomach now exposed in a bikini, my children told me how they loved my belly. “Yes,” I would say, “I love my belly too.” And I meant it.

And, no, you don’t have to wear a bikini to feel beautiful.

This is about our bodies as moms changing with childbirth and aging with every passing year and about growing in our love and respect for our bodies. This is about how we can model to our children love and respect for their bodies through our deepening regard for our own bodies.

Over the years of being a mom and somatic (body-centered) psychotherapist, I have heard a lot of advice on how to teach our children to respect their bodies. Clients who are parents ask me how to teach their children how to love and respect their bodies so their children don’t have the same hateful relationships they have with their own bodies.

They want to know how to raise children who are confident, love their bodies, and respect other people’s bodies. They want to prevent their children from experiencing trauma and feeling ashamed of their bodies.

If we truly want to support our children in loving and respecting their bodies, I know this:

How you love and respect your body is how your children will learn to love and respect their bodies.

And this:

How you love and respect their bodies is how they will learn to love and respect their bodies.

Photo via iStock.

How do we get there?

Here are eight mindful and compassionate ways to be a parent who models to your children how to regard and love their bodies:

1. Treat yourself with compassion.

One of the surest ways to instill in our children a healthy relationship with their whole self is to start showing ourselves compassion. When someone, including ourselves, is suffering, we are naturally prompted to respond to extend compassion. But often, through experiences of trauma and shame, we have learned to override this innate sense of responding with compassion. Thankfully, we can learn to cultivate compassion again.

When I am having a hard time, my children often will see me doing this: I pause. I put my hand on my heart. And I say to myself (and often so they can hear, too, and learn to do the same), “Wow, I’m having a hard time right now. It’s OK, Sweet Love.” (Yes, I call myself “Sweet Love,” the same words I use with my children). Having compassion for ourselves in everyday life and modeling compassion to our children can be as simple as that.

2. Heal the harshness by “practicing gentleness.”

In a harsh world, gentleness is the antidote. Like compassion, gentleness has transformative power. Gentleness is both soft and strong. By bringing gentleness into situations where we are often prompted to become harsh and controlling, we support connection.

How? Trying asking yourself: “What would ‘practicing gentleness’ with my body look like in my life? What would it look like in my children’s lives?” Is it to go at a slower pace in the day? Is it to use a softer, more accepting tone of voice? Is it a gentle hand on your child’s shoulders when he or she is feeling anxious?

3. Bring “soften” into your everyday vocabulary.

A few years ago, I made “soften” my word for the year because I knew I was being hard on myself. When I looked at my post-baby body — even several years after having children — I would often get dressed, look in the mirror, and say something harsh under my breath. But as I brought the word “soften” into my everyday life, I began to embody this word a little bit more every day. Now, it is commonplace in my own head and in our family.

4. Heal the hurry.

I get it. We have a million things on our plate. We live in a culture that’s addicted to hurry.

Photo via iStock.

But we show this to our kids early, and hurry shows itself in our bodies. So if you can, try to notice your own addiction to hurry. Notice how your body may be addicted to the adrenaline rush of “running late” and hurrying throughout the day. Start to treat your body with respect by saying to yourself (and your children), “It’s OK to slow down.”

5. Show your children how to rest.

Related to our addiction to hurry, we often don’t pause to rest in our day, but our bodies and brains need pauses. Teaching our children to treat their bodies with love and regard involves learning how to rest.

Build rest into your and your child’s day. Look up at the sky as you and your children stand at the bus stop. Lie down for a moment after getting home from school and work. Say to your children, “Let’s rest for a bit.”

6. Do nothing else while you eat.

Mindless eating and busy schedules can create unhealthy habits around food. Because we eat several times a day, building in mindful rituals of pausing while eating supports healthy digestion, regulates nervous systems, and develops a healthy relationship to food and a deep regard for our bodies.

When you eat, do nothing else. Model to your children how to pause and “just eat” when it's time for a meal or snack. Put down the devices and try just eating your food and enjoying each other’s company. Even if it’s for a few moments, such mindful eating supports a healthy regard and love for one’s body.

7. Touch your children kindly.

Walking into my children’s school each morning, I see the tenderness between parents and their children. I see these mindful parents pausing in the hustle and bustle of their morning for a moment of tender connection with their children.

Photo via iStock.

When we are frustrated or angry, it gets harder to touch our children kindly. Yet these moments matter in sending the message to our children that their bodies are to be regarded. When we are frustrated, the greatest practice is to pause and get grounded. We are more likely to respond with kindness instead of react with harshness. When our children’s bodies are treated with kindness, they learn they are worthy of being regarded.

8. Look at your children with regard.

I get it. Many families are just trying to get to the bus stop on time. And after school, we are hustling home to get dinner made before evening activities.

But a few years ago, I decided that no matter how rushed we felt in the morning and in the afternoon returning from school, I would pause and really look at my children. The expression on my face would say, “I am so happy to see you! I love you!” I try to do this every day, even for just a few moments in the morning and afternoon. And it changes things.

These mindful and compassionate practices can be woven into our everyday lives.

When our children see us loving and regarding our bodies, they will begin to treat their bodies the same way. When we treat our children’s bodies with respect, our children will begin to see themselves — and their bodies — as worthy of deep regard and respect. And when our children love and respect their bodies, they are more likely to love and respect the bodies of others.

It'll go a long way in creating a more compassionate world.

Education

Unearthed BBC interview features two Victorian-era women discussing being teens in the 1800s

Frances 'Effy' Jones, one of the first women to be trained to use a typewriter and to take up cycling as a hobby, recalls life as a young working woman in London.

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Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. As time marches on, we're moving further and further away from the Victorian era and what life was like for the people living through it. Thankfully, though, relics have survived that are not just historical treasures, but connections our human family now since passed. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

While cars were just around the corner from being the common mode of transportation toward the end of the 19th century, it's pretty wild to imagine what these women experienced. Frances "Effy" Jones explained how, at age 17, she was encouraged by her brother to check out this new machine in a storefront window. Turns out that machine was a typewriter and, after being trained on how to use it, Jones would sit in the store window typing while people outside gathered to watch. Before long, classes began popping up for women to learn how to use a typewriter, starting a new movement for women of that era.

The second woman, Berta Ruck, told the BBC that she would get into a bit of trouble at boarding school for drawing instead of completing school work. This talent took Ruck to art school in London where she rode buses around town, attempting to avoid mud getting on her long skirt. But Ruck explained that it never worked and she would spend hours brushing the mud from her skirt before wearing it out again. I'm sure you're thinking, buses? They weren't the buses we would see nowadays. These were double-decker horse-pulled carriages. It may be hard to imagine, but life was just as vibrant and bustling then as it is now. Check out the video below to learn more:


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Conservation

Danish city put out vending machines for people to return their coffee cups and get paid

Only one year later, and the results speak for themselves.

Reusable/Instagram

Would you use this?

Over 1 billion people worldwide drink coffee every day. That's about 12.6% of the world's population. And of course, there are a bajillion different ways people conjure up their cup of joe, but many opt for swinging by their local café. Problem is, those single-use cups, as we know, create a ton of waste.

Many heavy hitter coffee companies like Starbucks and McDonald’s have made attempts to tackle this issue by incentivizing customers to use reusable cups in exchange for a discount, but one city has a different approach…and it seems to be making a big impact.

One year ago, Aarhus, Denmark’s second-largest city, launched a three-year, first-of-its-kind trial project, where customers can return their reusable coffee cups to automated deposit machines placed throughout town and in return they'll receive a €70-cent rebate back to their debit card.

Once those to-go cups are returned, they’re transported to the TOMRA cleaning/recycling facility, and, barring any damage, will be sent back to participating cafés. According to Euro News, 45 different businesses signed up for the innovative program.

"All of us, we want to have some kind of impact on the amount of trash that's lying around and especially us coffee shops,” said Joe Hougaard, a manager for one of the participating shops.

This scheme is similar to methods introduced by other European countries like Romania, Denmark, and Belgium, which involve deposit systems for returning plastic or glass bottles and cans in exchange for a small refund. However, those machines are only located within supermarkets. The Aarhus system, however, is open air, meaning the machines are located on main shopping streets with a lot of through traffic.

As reported by Daniela De Lorenzo, the project wasn’t an overnight success. Over the initial few weeks after the launch, the return rate was only around 25 per cent, and unfortunately a return rate of 82 per cent would be needed in order for the reusable cups to actually be a better alternative.


However, things turned around in September 2024, when the city held a week-long festival and the reusable cups were exclusively offered. “Many more citizens were exposed to them and around 100,000 cups were returned, an amount which would have filled 1,200 trash bins,” she wrote.

This became a catalyst for change, one that Simon Smedegaard Rossau, project manager for circular packaging at Aarhus Municipality, signaled a noticeable “shift in behavior.”

“We see people going with bags full of cups, which means they recycle in bulk, like for cans and bottles. Now we can see the return rate is 88 per cent, which means a cup is reused 44 times.”

We are only in year one of a three year trial period, but if things continue like this, there are plans to extend the program to plates, pizza boxes and more throughout the city. All of which could be promising for other cities looking for more sustainable systems.

As Tove Andersen, TOMRA CEO, said in a press release, "Aarhus shows the way to one more sustainable future, and we hope that many more cities will be inspired to do the same.”

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Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As the audience cheered, Seacrest playfully circled Demus-Gamble, as though searching for an earpiece that must have fed her the winning guess. Down in the comments, people were equally floored.

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

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Joy

Enjoy the scaly sweetness of a little girl hanging out with her beloved pet snake

Their bond is undeniable.

Reddit

Brb, going out to buy a pet snake.

Kids and pets is a recipe for adorableness no matter what, but the fact that the video below features a kid with a pet snake…that just takes things to a whole new level. After all, it’s not like snakes are widely considered a great match for any pet owners, let alone children. But after seeing the pure love these two beings share for one another, it’s hard to not be won over.

In the clip posted online, we at first see the onscreen text (presumably from mom or dad) read “no one warned us that having a snake could look like this” as a little girl, smiling ear to ear, holds her snake—which appears to be a piebald ball python—in both hands.

From there, we’re taken on a lovely thirty second journey of snuggles while watching TV together, snakey helping with homework, and just lots of cuddles in general. The two are undeniably inseparable.

Watch:

The Bond between her and her snake 💖💖
byu/Both-Ant4433 inBeAmazed

So stinking sweet, right? And it was not only an entertaining watch, but an educational one as well, as it stirred up conversation about how snakes experience television.

“The snake is low-key tripping watching the TV,” one viewer commented. “You see the holes round its mouth? They're called heat pits and from what I understand they react to the heat coming of the TV…So his little brain is getting absolutely blasted with stimulation. Thus the interest in it. He's having fun.”

To that, someone quipped, “TIL that TV is like psychedelics for snakes,” while another echoed, “Wow, I came here to have fun, but I learned something and it was fun.”

For a little more context, the website ReptileCraze.comhttps://reptilecraze.com/can-snakes-watch-tv/

explains that while snakes only see greens and blues, they perceive ultraviolet light, which is invisible to the human eye, as well as heat—all of which a TV gives off. So just because they might not be following along on who’s getting booted from your favorite reality show, they are probably nonetheless enjoying it.

Really the only thing snake owners should be aware of regarding TV is disrupting their natural sleep cycle. But I mean, we as humans should also be aware of that with our own sleep cycles. So if you’re keeping that in mind, TV time can actually be a great bonding opportunity. Which is clearly what these two in the video are doing.

In general piebald ball pythons like this one are considered great pets for their docile nature, but apparently carpet pythons, gopher snakes, milk snakes, garter snakes, rosy boas, western hognoses, California kingsnakes, and corn snakes are also good considerations—most of which can live for decades.

There’s even a breed called the children's python, which got its name not because its safe for children (though it is) but because of the scientist who covered them, John George Children. What a name.

But if you aren’t in the market for a new reptile friend, you can always just peruse the internet to find sweet videos of them, just like this one.

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Pop Culture

Man with schizophrenia shares a video from Batman actor Kevin Conroy that saved his life

"It's saved me from suicide countless times."

Photo credit: Cameo/Warner Bros. Entertainment

Pictured: A true hero and Batman

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.


It’s not often that the person who portrays a hero in movies, TV, or video games is an even greater hero in real life. A man on Reddit shared an experience of that rare exception when he posted a Cameo he purchased in 2020 from Kevin Conroy, a voice actor best known for his portrayal of Batman, saying that “It's saved me from suicide countless times.”

"I paid for a Cameo video from Mr. Conroy. In the introductory text I believe I simply explained how my name is pronounced, that I had schizophrenia and had been extremely moved and inspired to face my fears as Batman did in Arkham Knight. I ended with 'THANK YOU.'"

He only had enough money for 30 second Cameo, but Conroy instead gave him a heartfelt six minute long response.


Kevin Conroy has saved me from suicide more times than I can count. In 2020 I paid $100 for a 30 sec video. I got back over 6 minutes.
byu/MaliciousMe87 inbatman

In the video, Conroy not only did some classic Batman dialogue in the voice but shared about how his brother struggled with schizophrenia. He got personal and touched upon the struggles of life, and how the fan was not alone in his fight and in his treatment. Conroy ended his message with "I believe in you. Batman believes in you, and Batman is on your side."

The fan held onto his video, wanting to keep it private since Conroy was so vulnerable and personal in his response, but felt it was okay to share since Conroy touched upon his brother's schizophrenia in "Finding Batman", an autobiographical comic story in the DC Pride 2022 anthology. In "Finding Batman," Conroy discusses helping his brother with his treatment along with how his life as a young gay man in the 1950s through the 1990s required him to have a "public face" and a "private face" much like Batman and his secret identity of Bruce Wayne. Conroy would portray the character on and off in various animated shows, movies, and video games for over 30 years, with his last posthumous performance as Batman in 2024's Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three.


"His reply, this video, is my most prized possession," said the fan. "It's saved me from suicide countless times. Batman telling me he believes in me is extremely powerful... but over time, it's become Kevin believing in me that is equally powerful."

Commenters shared their feelings about Conroy:

"This high key had me blinking back tears. Mr. Conroy was as important to me as the Batman character - something that became clear after his passing."

"Kevin is one of the people that I'd have loved to spend a day with. A true kind human."

"Bittersweet to know Kevin Conroy was exactly the hero we grew up watching. I miss him."

The commenters also threw in their thanks and support to the fan, too:

"You’ve got this, brother 👊🏽 You’re not alone."

"Your struggles don’t define you, it’s your perseverance against them that does, so fight. Fight tooth and nail."

"Giving this to the world made you a superhero."

Conroy understood that being the voice behind such a beloved character for an entire generation had some weight and responsibility to it, and used that bit of fame and power to grow a supportive community. Another such example is when he did the Batman voice for a bunch of 9/11 first responders as he helped cook meals for them between shifts of moving debris from the attack.

- YouTubeyoutu.be


Kevin used his position to encourage people, help people, and if nothing else made their lives a little brighter. That's something we can all learn from him. If he can be Batman in those ways, we can be Batman, too. Offer a hand to your family members. If someone needs help, help them. You don't need to be a millionaire playboy with an awesome dark costume to make a difference.

Also, if you're struggling with schizophrenia, you aren't alone, like Kevin said. If you could use some support, you can investigate Schizophrenia Alliance to find a support group near you, or a Zoom group if you prefer. Do your best to remember that we believe in you and Batman believes in you.

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