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How a famous French chef helped me fight impostor syndrome.

French chef Jacques Pépin is a living legend.

He's an OG culinary genius, known the world over for his prowess in the kitchen, expert hand, and encyclopedic knowledge of all things French cuisine and technique.

Pépin flips crepes with (from right) Michelle Obama, Kelly Ripa, and Al Roker like it's nothing. Photo by Roger L. Wollenberg-Pool/Getty Images.

On a recent episode of "PBS NewsHour," Pépin shared his thoughts on recipes and how (in few words) he thinks they're kind of BS.

(OK, it sounded much more articulate and French than that.)

Pépin told a story about crafting a recipe for pears with caramel sauce. He made the dessert three different ways, and it turned out OK each time.

GIF via "PBS NewsHour."

For Pépin, this was proof that recipes are not the be-all end-all; they're just a place to begin — a Point A for a Point B yet to be determined. He said:

"So, what is the point of a recipe? A recipe is a teaching tool, a guide, a point of departure. ... But as you make [the dish] again and again, you will change it, you will massage it to fit your own taste, your own sense of aesthetic."

You hear that? You get to make the recipe, the technique, and the method work for you.

Yep, just like that.

But this idea doesn't just apply to cooking. Turns out that it's much, much bigger.

Pépin probably didn't intend to illuminate a beautiful truth about life in a four-minute segment about pears with caramel sauce. But he did.

Walk with me.

Each of us, through our parents, tradition, school, or cultural and societal expectations are handed a recipe for life. Here in the States, the recipe might look something like this:

Go to school. Don't make trouble. Find a job. Meet a life partner. Marry them. Raise a kid or two. Complain about Mondays. Retire. Have a quiet life. Die peacefully.

But, like Pépin suggests, every recipe leaves room to improvise and get creative.

You can follow the recipe to the letter or use it as a jumping-off point, but either way, the methods, techniques, and ingredients are up to you.

It may be scary. It may be challenging. But the adventure is all yours.

GIF via "The Simpsons."

Thinking about my own experiences in this frame made me better equipped to fight my own case of imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling that you're not as talented or as smart as you seem to others. Despite some levels of achievement or success, you always live in fear of being exposed as a fraud.

If you've felt a similar feeling, you're not alone. Even Maya Angelou (yeah, that Maya Angelou) dealt with it. She said, "I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they’re going to find out now.'"

You earned every bit of praise, Dr. Angelou!

Thanks to social media, I get to see my peers hit every prescribed adult milestone in living color. Every beautiful wedding, island vacation, new home, new car, and chubby baby along the way. I've always been happy for them (they're my friends after all), but a little part of me always felt like I was two steps behind.

But with this new frame, I'm reminded that when it comes to "adulting," we're all just experimenting in the kitchen. We're using the methods that work best for our circumstances to create something beautiful — a life well lived. It doesn't matter how we get there or when, only that we do.

I am not a phony. I'm just doing the best I can. We all are.

So next time you're in the kitchen (or at your high school reunion), remember that perfectly executing a recipe is not necessarily the definition of success.

Whether it's poached pears or a Ph.D., you decide what comes next. Recipes and roadmaps can only take you so far.

It's up to you to shake things up, get creative, and have some adventures along the way.

Another French chef who knows a thing about adventures. GIF via "Ratatouille."

Hungry for more? Watch Chef Pépin's video essay from "PBS NewsHour."

Joy

A woman accidentally said, 'Love you!' to an important client. His response was perfect.

He even followed up with a heartwarming e-mail.

Photo credit: Canva

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

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Health

Researchers have pinpointed the reason why creative people often come from broken homes

There's a long list of creative geniuses who had hard childhoods.

via Canva/Photos

A woman painting.

Why do some people feel they are devoid of creativity, while others are bursting at the seams? A new study published by The Conversation has found that creativity is closely related to how people were raised and that there are two wildly different upbringings that produce creative adults.

The first type of creative person is raised in stable circumstances and has support from their parents to pursue their craft. They are given lessons and have ample resources to learn more about what they love. The other type of creative person is someone who endured trauma at a very young age and developed a deep inner world to help them combat persistent anxiety.

Does trauma result in creativity?

It makes sense that many of the creative giants of our time, Vincent van Gogh, Charles Dickens, John Lennon, Oprah Winfrey, Beethoven, Michael Jackson, and Frida Kahlo, all endured difficult childhoods, and it may be the catalyst for their incredible creativity. In Donald Winnicott’s 1971 bookPlay and Reality, the famed psychoanalyst notes that when children are young and have separation anxiety from their parents, they cling to “transitional objects” and specific behaviors. When the absence is prolonged and difficult, the behaviors transform into creativity.

“Some academics have proposed a model to explain this phenomenon,” Carlo Valerio Bellieni, Professor of Pediatrics, Università di Siena, writes at The Conversation. “Up to a certain level of separation or neglect from parents, the capacity to develop talents grows, but beyond a certain limit this decreases and alterations in social behaviour become more acute.”

Bellieni says that when young people experience trauma, it causes them to create a “parallel mental world” to shield themselves from the outside world. “The conclusion is that, paradoxically, children raised in an unfavourable environment can develop their own inner creative world to survive the stress, but in several cases, at the cost of producing mental health disorders,” Bellieni writes.

imagination, childhood trauma, creativity, airplanes, kid playing, flight, luggageA child pretending to be a pilot.via Canva/Photos

How does childhood adversity result in creativity?

To put it simply, when young children experience trauma, they develop a more robust imagination than those who do not, which gives them a fertile ground for the creative process.

Bellieni’s findings are echoed in a 2018 study by California State University, Northridge that analyzed 234 professional performers. The study found that the performers experienced a higher rate of childhood trauma and neglect than those who were not in the performing arts. The performers who experienced adverse childhood experiences were found to be more absorbed by the creative process and more receptive to art.

danging, performers, mental health, trauma, creativity, woman dancing, performing artsA woman dancing.via Canva/Photos

"Lastly, [this] group identified greater appreciation for the transformational quality of creativity, in particular, how the creative process enabled a deeper engagement with the self and world. They recognised that it operated as a powerful force in their life," the researchers wrote, "So many participants in our sample have experienced poly-traumatization and yet they also embrace their passion for performance and creativity. They are embracing ways to express all that is human."

Ultimately, creativity can stem from two very different places: support or neglect. But whether it is shaped by love or loss, creativity helps propel our world forward and is a wonderful gift that helps us all better connect to the world around us. Let’s hope that as these wounded creatives share their gifts, they also find healing along the way.

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Pets

Woman builds an elaborate hotel in her yard for stray cats to stay cozy through the winter

People are calling it "Hotel Catifornia" and "The Fur Seasons."

Images via Canva

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

When winter comes around, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


Cats live where they want when they want

cats, stray cats, pet cats, felines, kittiesKitten snuggled in a person's arms. Image via Canva.

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

cats, stray cats, feeding cats, feral cats, shelter catsCats eating kibble on the street.Image via Canva

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one of killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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The most dramatic proof of our current climate catastrophe ever caught on camera

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

Exposure Labs

A sheet of ice the size of Manhattan tumbled into the sea.

Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary. They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.

They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.


science, calving, glaciers, climate changeA glacier falls into the sea.Exposure Labs

ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going greenMassive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.Exposure Labs

It was the glacier calving event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier meltA representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.Exposure Labs

As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe, and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

Greenland, Antarctica, glacier calvingThe glacier ice continues to erode away.Exposure Labs

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Balog has continued documenting changes in the Earth's seas, ice sheets, and other environmental indicators of climate change and spoke with CBS about his work in 2024. "When I started the extreme ice survey, climate change was still seen as a pretty abstract thing," Balog said. "It was something that was going to happen 20 or 30 or 50 years from now and my god when you could start to realize no, it's happening right now right in front of us. It put a real marker in time to say this is now, this is real."

Balog hopes that his photographic record will serve as a record of the present and a message to the future.

"I want to be able to say to those people of the distant future look not everybody in this time in you know 2024 was terribly conscious or cared about climate change," he said, "but I want to be able to say that this mind, these eyes, and this heart was paying attention."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared 10 years ago and has been updated.

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Love Stories

Children of divorce are sobbing over woman's final 9-second video of mom and dad together

"Soulmates doesn't always mean married mates."

Canva Photos

A 9-second video of a woman's divorced parents' last interaction is incredibly powerful.

The statistics around divorce in America sound grim. About half of couples who tie the knot won't make it, and that's generally considered to be a bad thing in the popular discourse; a sign of too much infidelity, poor communication, and other toxic behavior. But what those numbers fail to tell you about is all the couples who split amicably, or who were never the right fit for each other in the first place. In fact, it's possible–and even common—for people to divorce after many years together and still love each other deeply.

That's exactly the sentiment captured in a beautiful nine-second video filmed by Kerrian Connelly Carro.

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathThe statistics around divorce don't always tell the full story. Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

Carro captioned the short clip posted to TikTok: "My parents were divorced over 25 years ago. Met at 12, had me at 19. This was their last video together before my father passed away."

In an interview with Newsweek, Carro explains that the two were finishing up a quick visit with her mom after her dad attended a session of radiation therapy for cancer. Carro filmed the interaction between the two, not knowing for sure that it would be the last time they'd ever see each other.

So much is communicated between the two in just a few seconds of silent footage. They share a loving hug before Carro's mom kisses him on the cheek. She then cinches up his jacket, as if to give him strength to keep on fighting. He pinches her cheeks lovingly and smiles as he turns to leave. And that's the end.

Carro's father would pass away shortly after the video was taken.

Watch the touching moment here:

@kerriannconnellycarro

#myparents #ifiwouldhaveknown #deaddadsclub #grief #griefjourney

Carro said that her parents' divorce wasn't always easy.

The love between the two is incredibly obvious even from just a short video, but the journey that came before was far from sunshine and roses. In the interview, Carro says her mom was the love of her dad's life, and it took him a long time to recover from the breakup. She says the two argued for years after splitting, both angry and trying to find a new path in life for themselves.

But eventually, they made peace with not being together, and their love for each other took over. Carro says they became friends again, supporting each other. And you can see it all come to fruition in their final interaction. The video struck a nerve in viewers everywhere, racking up over 18 million views. Commenters were incredibly moved:

"Like that quote 'even though you didn’t make it to the end of my story, I’ll always have the corner folded down on your page as it was one of my favourites.'"

"Soul mates don’t always mean married mates."

"The way she straightened his jacket, and the way he pinched her cheeks tells me everything I need to know about their love."

"Divorce doesn't mean hate. This is proof of that."

People who had experience living with divorce were especially touched:

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathOne commenter said that soulmates don't always have to be "married-mates." Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

"My parents were better friends than partners."

"Divorced parents here, but they are still BEST FRIENDS. My dad still helps her with house maintenance and visits her once a week to check in. Soul mates aren’t always married mates!"

"My mom's funeral was the only one I ever saw my dad cry at. They were friends much longer than they were married."

About a third of divorces these days are categorized as friendly or at least neutral, rather than hostile. And even in the cases of more contentious separations, many of them just take a little time until the two people remember what they liked and even loved about each other in the first place.

It's rare for people to get married without a strong connection and bond. Disagreements and life circumstances can get in the way and cloud our feelings, and even make reconciliation impossible, but it's amazing to see the proof in Carro's video that that love doesn't always die out.

The video is also a powerful reminder that divorce isn't some great failure. Sometimes it's exactly what both parties need, even if it hurts.

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