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Harvard negotiator teaches you how to argue in a way that leads to better understanding

In four minutes he teaches you a better way to communicate.

Dan Shapiro; arguing; conflict resolution; arguments

Harvard negotiator teaches you how to argue.

Conflict is something that most people don't like. It can easily escalate into an argument, tempers can get flared and feelings hurt. But it doesn't have to be that way. Dan Shapiro, a Harvard negotiator, demonstrates how to argue effectively in a new insightful four-minute video.

The video covers three keys to an effective argument that can leave the other party feeling heard, validated and understood. This may all sound like some sort of magic trick, but the man has got some solid points, especially as it seems like people's ears stop working when someone disagrees with them.

Immediately in the video, Shapiro states that he personally doesn't feel comfortable around conflict, which is kind of surprising since his job is negotiation. I'm not sure if everyone has seen how negotiations work but sometimes the exchange can get pretty heated. Don't worry, he goes on to explain how conflict can actually be pretty helpful. The professor talks about how America has fallen into a "tribal trap" where you disbelieve and discredit everything someone with opposing views says.

Shapiro discusses people's need to be right at all costs and to shut the other person's view down—which isn't a helpful strategy. He starts naming the secrets to effective negotiations or in this case, arguments. Identity, appreciation and affiliation are the three big things he breaks down to build a solid ground for respectful and understanding disagreements.

The professor addresses the emotion behind identity and how it relates to core values, which immediately helps set the tone for understanding how disagreements escalate. Watch Shapiro break it all down below and be sure to take notes if you also have trouble with conflict.

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5 ways people are going all in this week

From the silliest to the most sentimental, there are so many ways people are going “all in” on the internet this week. Here are our five favorites.

5 ways people are going all in this week

5 ways people are going all in this week

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What does it mean to go “all in” on something? We’ll tell you: Whether it’s an elaborately-themed birthday party for your dog (like this one) or a guy learning Mandarin to propose to his girlfriend, going “all in” means total commitment. There’s no holding back, no second guessing—just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. When people go “all in,” something truly special happens as a result.

In this roundup, we’ve scoured the internet for the best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are silly, some are sentimental, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100% is the only way to truly leave a mark on this world. Buckle up: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

This guy's passion for lip syncing

@pokemonmasterzo every time I see an edit to this mix it’s almost guaranteed tears #beyonce #tyrant #allnight #fyp ♬ original sound - dannyvarr

We all lip-sync from time to time. Sometimes we even get a little bit into it. And then there’s this guy: TikTok creator Pokemonmasterzo, who goes viral every other week re-enacting passionate lip-syncs of trending songs. No matter what song people are listening to this week—a Beyonce mash-up, an old Radiohead hit, or a celebratory rendition of “Love Story” in honor of Taylor Swift’s recent engagement—this guy goes completely all in with hand gestures, dance moves, and quite often even a shot of his face superimposed on the screen (also singing!). His picture is basically next to the definition of “enthusiastic” in the dictionary. We can't get enough.

This trading experiment, brought to you by All In

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A post shared by ALL IN (@allinfood)

Remember that story about a guy who traded a paperclip for a house? In a nutshell, Canadian blogger Kyle MacDonald started a year-long project back in 2025 to take one red paperclip and keep exchanging it for things of increasing value until he ended up with a house. With the paperclip, MacDonald traded for a pen. With the pen, he traded up for a hand-sculpted doorknob. With the doorknob, he traded up for a Coleman camp stove (with fuel included). On and on it went until 2006, when he finally traded a role in a movie for a two-story farmhouse in Kipling, Saskatchewan. It’s basically a testament to what you can accomplish if you just have dedication, creativity, and vision (aka, you go absolutely all in).

This week, our friends at All In are starting their own version of the paperclip trend, starting with an All In bar and trading up to see what they get. (Though we have to say the phrase “trading up” is debatable, because these bars are delicious.) Check it out and see where they end up!

Another thing you should check out: This incredible deal where you can get a free(!!!) box of All In organic snack bars. Just sign up with your phone number on Aisle, grab two free boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a pic of your receipt and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box, and that’s it! Enjoy.

This "chicken jockey" ice skating routine

@k.and.miss.congeniality 🐓⛸️🌟Chicken Jockey from Minnesota 🌟⛸️🐓 @U.S. Figure Skating #nationalshowcase ♬ Holding Out for a Hero - yourmusic4ever💯

If you have children over the age of, say, preschool, you’ve likely heard the words “chicken jockey,” a term from Minecraft, a popular video game in which players can build, create, and interact with others in a 3D world made up of blocks.

A little background: A “chicken jockey” in the Minecraft universe is when, in the course of the game, a baby zombie will randomly spawn onscreen, riding a chicken and attacking the players. (I don’t get it either, I just had to have a child explain this to me just now.)

Anyway, in the Minecraft movie, which premiered earlier this year, there’s a scene where a chicken jockey drops into the arena and Jack Black’s character shouts “Chicken Jockey!” The moment quickly became a fan favorite and turned into something of a movement, where moviegoers would scream “Chicken jockey!” and erupt in chaos, throwing popcorn and just generally going wild (you could even say they were going all in).

Fast-forward to today, and chicken jockey is still a popular term among kids—so much so that this young performer created an ice-skating routine to honor the chicken jockey moment, complete with a full-body costume. That’s right—she ice skated in an inflatable chicken jockey costume. Talk about dedication. The creativity, the enthusiasm, and the cultural relevance truly make this a performance to behold.

This woman's transformation—an entire year in the making

@tiszfit.cpt And I always made sure I was on incline 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 Was it hard in the beginning? Hell yeah sometimes I would only sprint for 10 secs at a time But I knew if I kept doing it I would get faster , stronger & build my endurance And quess what I did ! Keep going sis !! It’s possible with consistency! #gymtok #motivation #fypシ ♬ Otis nola bounce part 2 - VIP

There’s something beautiful about a person who shows up for herself, day in and day out. In this viral TikTok, creator @tiszfit.cpt recorded herself running on a treadmill in her garage every day, ultimately reaching a goal of eighty (!!!!) pounds lost. Going all in to achieve your goals is one thing to celebrate for sure, but it’s just as meaningful to watch her confidence gradually grow throughout the video. As she continues to run, her garage door opens little by little, until she’s working out unashamedly in open view of her neighborhood. You can’t help but be incredibly proud.

The most tear-jerking college send-off you've ever seen

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Finally, here’s one of the most thoughtful (and meaningful) college send-offs we’ve ever seen. In this video, Ben (@its_benzram) walks into the hallway of his parent’s house and finds all of his childhood toys lined up along the walls leading to the staircase. The reason? They’ve all come to “say goodbye” and wish him well as he goes to college. Not only are all his stuffed animals there, his family made handmade signs (“We Love You”) and created a collage of pictures of Ben throughout the years alongside his childhood toys. Parents: Get a box of tissues before you watch this. Not kidding.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts.

Dad shares 'complaints' about his toddler's restaurant business and it's too adorable

"It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner."

assets.rebelmouse.io

Ava's Kitchen leaves a bit to be desired in the customer service department.

Toddlers can be a handful, but they're also the absolute best, with their tiny little adorableness, their burgeoning vocabulary, and their slowly evolving understanding of the world. Their imaginations are something else, and spending time in a wee one's world is always an unpredictable treat. Being the parent of a toddler is a unique joy that only lasts for a fleeting season, so you have to take full advantage of it while you can. And one dad has clearly done just that.

Christopher Kyle is father to Ava, who at 18 months old treated her dad to a meal at her sit-down restaurant. Only according to Kyle, the service left much to be desired. In a post on Instagram, Kyle shared a photo of Ava in her play kitchen while he sat waiting for his food in a tiny chair at a tiny table.

See on Instagram

The father/customer wrote:

"So I tried to support another Black Owned Business for lunch today. It's called Ava's Kitchen, just opened end of April. It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner.

First off, I asked why there are balloons on my chair, and it's not my birthday? She talm'bout, mind yah business; those are Mommy's.

I been waiting on my order to get done for 45 minutes, and I'm the only customer here. She was making good progress at first, then she stopped for 20 minutes to go watch Paw Patrol.

Paw Patrol Dog GIF by Xbox Giphy

Overall the customer service could be better, but the cook is a cutie; so I'll give her another chance. Let's not give up on Black businesses so fast after one mistake. 💕"

People absolutely loved this dad's humor and clearly stellar parenting skills. Anyone who has sat through a tea party—or any activity with the wee ones—knows that for all of its cuteness, toddler play is an exercise in patience and endurance.

Upworthy shared Kyle's story on our Instagram page and our readers did not disappoint.

Some played right along with the game:

"Starting a restaurant is tough.. give her a chance ❤️❤️"

"I mean, she started a restaurant during a global pandemic, give her a break 😂"

See on Instagram

"Is she taking reservations?"

Fans of Paw Patrol had some words:

"Paw Patrol is a must watch so 🤷🏾♀️😂"

"I died at Paw Patrol 🤣🤣🤣 that's my show though. I don't have kids I just watch it just because lmao."

"Paw Patrol break is mandatory. Too cute! ♥️"

Others just gushed over the entire scene:

"Love EVERYTHING about this!! The adorable owner, the customer's humor and the incredible love."

"That's the cutest restaurant owner I've ever seen. The dad's face is priceless! 😂👍❤️"

"LoL the story is funny & beautiful!!! This warms my heart!! This babygirl will grow up to have such a healthy look at men (in any capacity) as long as she & her Daddy keep such a beautiful bond!! Happy Father's Day (early) Keep encouraging her to do her thing and her confidence will continue to soar!! I just love this!! 😍😍😍"

Since that post went viral, Ava and her dad have had some other creative adventures, including building things at Home Depot's free kids weekend workshop:

See on Instagram

Will Ava be a restaurant owner, a carpenter, or something totally different when she grows up? Who knows, but with her dad's support, no doubt she'll build success wherever she ends up.

This article originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.

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What it's like having 'face blindness' and not recognizing people you've known for years

I've lived with it my whole life. Here are 5 things I've tried that help.

Photo link: Canva

A woman only sees half her face.

If you know, you know. Face blindness, or as medical professionals call it, prosopagnosia, can be frustrating even in its mildest form. For me, it's the constant disappointment I see on people's faces when I don't register who they are. One time, I didn't identify my own comedy agent at the Laugh Factory. Another more egregious time, I didn't recognize my boyfriend of three years at the mall. (I didn't expect to see him and he was wearing a hat. He never wears hats!)

I used to have a joke that, to me, everyone looks like some version of actor Tobey Maguire no matter their gender, race, or height. I would be awful picking out a suspect in a police lineup, because I'd just keep saying, "Um, he was Spiderman, I think?"

The topic of face blindness isn't new. In neurologist Oliver Sacks's book The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, he writes, among many things, about a case study in which someone has a much more complex, severe condition processing stimuli called visual agnosia. Sacks discusses the neurological theories behind the condition, even adding in philosophical and Freudian explanations.

- Neurologist Oliver Sacks discusses what it's like to have prosopagnosia. www.youtube.com, CNN

The condition is actually somewhat common. According to Neuroscience News, 1 in 50 people have mild face blindness or "developmental prosopagnosia."

In her recent piece "Even mild face blindness can cause serious difficulties in daily life – new study," for The Conversation, psychologist Judith Lowes asks, "Have you ever been ignored by someone you knew when you bumped into them in the street or at an event? If so, you probably thought they were being rude. But they might have face blindness–a condition officially known as developmental prosopagnosia."

Her findings were fascinating. "In a new study my colleagues and I conducted, 29 adults with face blindness revealed the daily challenges they face. Ten of the participants said they could not reliably recognise immediate family members, and 12 couldn’t recognise closest friends in out-of-context or unexpected encounters. Yet many felt it was socially difficult to admit these struggles."

-People talk about their experience with face blindness. www.youtube.com, The New York Times

The study concludes prosopagnosia might be a form of neurodivergence, and somewhere on the autism/ADHD spectrum. She writes that recognizing face blindness as a "form of neurodivergence isn’t just about awareness, it’s about dignity, inclusion, and making everyday life easier for thousands of people."

But, for my fellow face-blind folks, there's hope and help. On the subreddit r/Prosopagnosia, an OP asks "Strategies for recognizing people?" Their more specific question is "How do y’all compensate for your face blindness?" The comments section bursts with ideas.

Come from the assumption that you know everyone

A few people suggest greeting people with "good to see you," instead of "nice to meet you," no matter what. I do this and while it seems strange at first, it's a way of faking it until you make it. Then if it's a short conversation, no harm, no foul.

Learn to rely on vocal cues

If, let's say using the last example, you need to buy more time. Listen closely to a person's voice. For me, my auditory memory is intact, so if I can just get a few seconds with vocal cues, my recognition sensors set in.

Be honest and open about the condition

Other Redditors recommend a more honest approach. One shares, "I’m open about it. I say something like 'I’m so sorry, I have face blindness, can you remind me how we know each other?' And people are usually really kind about it. The only time it’s been truly awkward for me was when the response was 'Ten years of friendship?!' (She’d changed her very distinctive hair.)"

Look for specific traits to memorize

This has truly helped me. When I'm meeting someone, especially someone I assume I'll see again, I try to find one thing on their face I can remember. A beauty mark on their cheek or a tattoo on their arm. Then, personally, I repeat it in my head: "Mike, tattoo, Mike, tattoo." Another Redditor advised to "look for scars." Same idea—find something on them that won't likely change and commit it to the space in your brain where the memory of their face would have gone.

Subtly ask for more context

This is a big one. Like many of us, it becomes kind of a game of fishing for information without awkwardly giving yourself away. I'll often ask, "When was the last time I saw you?" And if they say, "At our high school reunion of course," then boom—that's information! Once I have just a few pieces of the face blindness jigsaw puzzle, I can piece it together pretty quickly. (And then I often overcompensate once I realize who they are. "Oh yeah! You were wearing the cutest pink dress! How's Steve? Still living in Milwaukee?")

As one commenter put it, "Bluffing and hoping for some context from the conversation's clues."

face blindness clues, tattoo, body markings, memory Tattoo artist with a canine assistant creates colorful ink. Giphy

While many in this and other threads online discuss the anxiety and embarrassment that can come as a result of this condition, it is not all that uncommon. And if we approach it from the neurodivergence standpoint, as Lowes proposes, it might make it easier to discuss and give grace to ourselves and others.

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History (Education)

Artist shows us what famous historical figures would look like in the modern world

Her historical knowledge and research puts AI art to shame.

via Royalty Now / Instagram

Artist's gallery shows us what historical figures would look like if they were alive today

One of the major reasons we feel disassociated from history is that it can be hard to relate to people who lived hundreds, let alone thousands, of years ago. Artist Becca Saladin, 29, is bridging that gap by creating modern-looking pictures of historical figures that show us what they'd look like today.

"History isn't just a series of stories, it was real people with real feelings. I think the work brings people a step closer to that," she said according to Buzzfeed.

Saladin has always loved archaeology and always wished to see see what historical events actually looked like. She uses her digital art skills to do exactly that.

She started her Instagram page after wanting to see her favorite historical figure, Anne Boleyn, in real life instead of artist's depiction.

history, historical figures, art, artists, paintings, portraits, abraham lincoln, shakespeare, anne boleyn, marie antoinette A contemporary painting of Anne BoleynBy English school - Public Domain,

"I wanted to know if she could come to life from the few pale, flat portraits we have of her," she wrote for Bored Panda. "I started the account to satisfy my own curiosity about what members of the past would look like if they were standing right in front of me."

This is no AI gimmick. Saladin, in addition to being a great artist, is also a student of history. She consults existing portraiture, reads letters, studies the period, and examines both life and death masks (wax or plaster facial molds) of her subjects. She understands period art, as well. In her recreation of Marie Antoinette, Saladin writes, "It’s pretty obvious how stylized 18th century French portraits are; the huge eyes, tiny noses, and pinched lips." Her image of Antoinette, then, needed some "facial correction." I'd like to see AI do that.

Her artwork has earned her over 375,000 followers on Instagram. "I always struggled with finding a true hobby, so this has been such a fun creative outlet for me," she said. "It's really cool to have found a hobby that combines my passions for both art and history."

Saladin does brilliant job at giving historical figures modern clothing, hairstyles and makeup. She also shows them in places you'd find modern celebrities or politicians. Her modern version of Marie Antoinette appears to be posing for paparazzi while her Mona Lisa is photographed on a busy city street.

Here's a sampling of some of Saladin's modern representations of historical figures.

King Tut

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Genghis Khan

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King Henry VII

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Louis XV

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Agrippina the Younger

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Queen Nefertiti

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Ben Franklin

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Julius Caesar

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William Shakespeare

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Marie Antoinette

See on Instagram

Saladin's work has connected deeply with hundreds of thousands of online fans and followers. Her images have brought history to life in a way most of us have rarely experienced. There's something about seeing Abraham Lincoln in a dapper sweater with modern beard and hairstyles that makes him seem much more like a real person than any official portrait ever could.

Saladin began sharing portraits online years and years ago, but continues to this day. There's always more to discover, new ways to push her medium forward, and more history to unearth.

This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

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A dad's hilarious 'time-travel' letter to school asks them to explain field trip fiasco

Are you able to search the school buildings for a rip in the space-time continuum?

Images via Twitter

Stephen Callaghan and his letter

In 2017, Stephen Callaghan's daughter Ruby came home from school. When he asked her how her day was, her answer made him raise an eyebrow. Ruby, who was in the sixth grade at her school in Australia, told her dad that the boys would soon be taken on a field trip to Bunnings (a hardware chain in the area) to learn about construction.

The girls, on the other hand? While the boys were out learning, they would be sent to the library to have their hair and makeup done. Ruby's reply made Callaghan do a double take. What year was it, again? Callaghan decided to write a letter to the school sharing his disappointment — but his wasn't your typical "outraged parent" letter.

"Dear Principal," he began. "I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter is a Year 6 student."

"When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017," Callaghan continued. "But when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968."

dads, parenting, kids, Australia, sexism, gender, women Representative image of an angry dadImage via Canva

The letter goes on to suggest that perhaps the school is harboring secret time-travel technology or perhaps has fallen victim to a rift in the "space-time continuum," keeping his daughter in an era where women were relegated to domestic life by default.

"I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines," he concluded.

Dear Principal

I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter Ruby is a Year 6 student.

When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017 but when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968.

I know this to be the case as Ruby informed me that the "girls" in Year 6 would be attending the school library to get their hair and make-up done on Monday afternoon while the "boys" are going to Bunnings.

Are you able to search the school buildings for a rip in the space-time continuum? Perhaps there is a faulty Flux Capacitor hidden away in the girls toilet block.

I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines.

Yours respectfully
Stephen Callaghan

sexism, dads, daughters, parenting, school, sexism, time travel Stephen Callaghan and his letterImages via Twitter

When Callaghan posted the letter to Twitter (since deleted), it quickly went viral and inspired hundreds of supportive responses.

Though most people who saw his response to the school's egregiously outdated activities applauded him, not everyone was on board.

One commenter wrote, "Sometimes it is just ok for girls to do girl things."

But Callaghan was ready for that. "Never said it wasn't," he replied. "But you've missed the point. Why 'girl things' or 'boy things'... Why not just 'things anyone can do?'"

He later commented that he didn't think the school's plan was malicious, but noted the incident was a powerful example of "everyday sexism" at work.

Callaghan says the school hasn't responded to his letter. (Yes, he really sent it.) At least, not directly to him.

Some media outlets have reported that the school claims students are free to opt in and out of the different activities. But, as Callaghan says, gendering activities like this in the first place sends the completely wrong message.

In response to the outpouring of support, Callaghan again took to Twitter.

"At 12 years of age my daughter is starting to notice there are plenty of people prepared to tell her what she can and can't do based solely on the fact she is female," he wrote.

"She would like this to change. So would I."

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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