Everyone is dragging Boston's 'straight pride' parade back into the cave it came from.
Every year when LGBTQIA Pride Month rolls around, there are detractors who make false equivalences and ask the exhausting question: Why isn't there a Straight Pride parade?!
To most people, regardless of sexuality or political standing, it only takes a few minutes of critical thinking to figure out why Straight Pride isn't necessary. Straight people aren't brutalized, mocked and systemically discriminated against.
Roughly 95% of romantic representation in the media centers around straight people and the concept of being forced to "come out" as straight sounds more like an SNL sketch than a reality.
That being said, the city of Boston is begrudgingly gearing up to host a Straight Pride Parade at the end of summer after organizer Mark Sahady threatened a discrimination complaint against Boston for permission to fly their straight pride flag.
It’s LGBT pride month, but three guys in Boston want a permit for a "Straight Pride" parade https://t.co/ZREEWNn44m— The Washington Post (@The Washington Post) 1559682125.0
The inspiration for the Straight Pride Parade was launched by a small group of men known as "Super Happy Fun America," a group that aims to "celebrate the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community."
“Straight Pride” parade planned in Boston. With floats. https://t.co/JcTsGRjNPn— carolynryan (@carolynryan) 1559657956.0
On Facebook, organizer Sahady wrote: "If you would like to come as an individual, march as a group, or bring a float or vehicle, then get in touch. This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate straight pride."
Just FYI the organizer of the proposed "Straight Pride Parade" in Boston, Mark Sahady, was the same guy who organiz… https://t.co/ZCLFQGItR3— Julia Claire (@Julia Claire) 1559675338.0
Needless to say, people have been dragging the hell out of the concept of a Straight Pride parade, as they well should.
Will “Straight Pride” be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, new… https://t.co/0mUJaDtD2n— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) 1559740643.0
The straight pride parade will be mostly men because very few women will get to come.— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1559664253.0
Straight Pride Parade float themes: Heterophobia Reverse Racism Toxic Femininity Do you see why it’s a fucking s… https://t.co/ix9742SUWv— The Volatile Mermaid (@The Volatile Mermaid) 1559676295.0
You know you're messing up when Smash Mouth gets involved.
Straight Pride Parade????? FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!— Smash Mouth (@Smash Mouth) 1559672286.0
boston straight pride parade u have to come in costume as your favorite mark wahlberg character everyone walks arou… https://t.co/OJD6MlwEO0— hunter harris (@hunter harris) 1559661709.0
The Straight Pride Parade is every weekend when you see four dudes in polos waking back to their campus at 2am look… https://t.co/dW7YwEbwKZ— Tim Ross (@Tim Ross) 1559564808.0
Truly, all of the jokes are here to make and all of them are well deserved.
To my understanding, the straight pride parade is just the checkout line at Costco.— Nick Wanserski (@Nick Wanserski) 1559674137.0
I’d imagine a straight pride parade to be something like this but in the worst way? https://t.co/j3Kal4ueOq— libby (@libby) 1559674759.0
The Boston Straight Pride Parade https://t.co/5OuFucYHJg— Golden State is a Pee Thing (@Golden State is a Pee Thing) 1559667187.0
All of the jokes roasting the Straight Pride parade may provide the first time these men have faced any sort of personal and emotional obstacles, so their self-professed status as marginalized is manifesting its own "struggle."
a straight pride parade would unironically be excellent to watch because 1- parades are gay as hell 2- there’s n… https://t.co/m8OOqQJbuF— hasanabi (@hasanabi) 1559747685.0
if the straight pride parade happens, I might actually stand a chance on Xbox Live for a couple of hours— Fred Delicious (@Fred Delicious) 1559743703.0
Found this in a fb thread where some guy is talking about organizing a straight pride parade. Hilarious and accurat… https://t.co/A1527yNdYQ— 💖Jessie 💛 Bee 💙 (@💖Jessie 💛 Bee 💙) 1559666541.0
As of now, the Straight Pride Parade is potentially slated for August 31st, but I have no doubt in my mind the entire internet will be all ears for updates.
This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.
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