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Ever heard of the Battle of Blair Mountain? Federal troops were called against 13,000 miners.

Three battles that led to the biggest armed insurrection since the Civil War.

Have you ever heard of the West Virginia mine wars?

Maybe they were mentioned in your high school history class, or maybe they were skimmed over, or even left out entirely for one reason or another. Too often, these stories are deemed not "important" enough to warrant the time and attention they deserve.

But the West Virginia mine wars are critical to understanding the history of the labor movement in the U.S. — and soon a new museum will be open to tell the story.


The Battle of Blair Mountain, for example, was — and still is — the most violent labor confrontation in history, in which union-supporting coal miners fought against local government and a coal company-funded militia, eventually involving the U.S. Army.

So, what happened?

Be glad you weren't born into "Coal Country" West Virginia in the 1800s.

In the late 1800s in West Virginia, it wasn't easy to be a coal miner. For starters, mining wasn't just a job, it was a way of life — and a hard way of life. You lived in a company town, bought all your food and supplies at the company store, were paid in company money called "scrip," sent your kids to the company school, read the company paper, obeyed the company-employed police … on and on.

Because the coal companies controlled every aspect of the miners' lives, they could do whatever they wanted: pay as little as they felt like, teach what they felt like, and trap the miners in a cycle of bare-bones survival as they saw fit.

Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Sixteen Tons" paints a good picture of the life of a coal miner.

Not to mention, the job was rife with danger. Fatal accidents were frequent, and illnesses such as black lung disease claimed miners and their families alike.

As the decades wore on, the owners of these coal companies kept raking in the profits. The fledgling United Mine Workers of America (UMWA) started to gain a foothold in many parts of the country — and even in many parts of West Virginia — to fight for a better way of life.

But southern West Virginia stayed mostly non-union, and the coal companies were quite determined to keep it that way.

The stakes were high and so was the tension building between workers and their bosses. And that tension built and built until it eventually exploded into what is to this day the largest armed insurrection since the Civil War.

Typical mining family.

"BLOODSHED REIGNS IN VIRGINIA HILLS!"

That was the terrifying newspaper headline that described how those tensions erupted into violence during the Paint Creek-Cabin Creek strike of 1912, near Charleston, West Virginia. It was the first major demonstration of the violence to come as the workers stood up for their rights.

Coal miners were fed up with the low wages and the poor working conditions — loading tons of coal for weeks, months, years on end in the cramped, dark mines, only to find themselves deeper in debt at the end of each day.

The miners demanded the right to unionize, the right to free speech and assembly (y'know, that bit in the U.S. Constitution!?), the right to be paid accurately and in real U.S. dollars rather than the company scrip. They were tired of being cheated out of their already meager wages. You see, being paid by the ton and having no access to scales, they had no choice but to take their earnings at the word of the company weigh men. “16 tons? Nah, that's only 12 today."

Coal coming out of a mine.

When nearly 10,000 miners finally went on strike, their protests were largely nonviolent. Until, that is, the mine operators called in the notorious Baldwin-Felts Detective Agency to break up the strike. Over 300 armed men descended on the area on behalf of Baldwin-Felts.

Beatings were common. Sniper attacks and sabotage were also used. Miners were forcefully taken from their homes and tossed into the street to live in tents. Inside these tents, people were starving.

Miners called it the “Death Special."

The tent colonies were soon subject to a new tactic from the company goons — a heavily armored train that the miners called the “Death Special" was sent through the tent colony, firing machine guns and high-powered rifles at tents.

In a Senate committee investigation that followed, reported by the Wichita Times, one woman described her encounter with the train:

Mrs. Annie Hill, who limped into the committee room, told how she shielded her three little children from the bullets by hiding them in the chimney corner of her little home at Holly Grove when the armored train made it appearance. She said she had been shot through the limbs and the bullet had gone through the Bible and hymnbook on her parlor table.

Martial law was declared. Mary Harris “Mother" Jones (a feisty union activist already in her 70s who had come to the area to help the miners) was arrested and imprisoned.

"If they want to hang me, let them. And on the scaffold I will shout, 'Freedom for the working class!'" — Mother Jones

After nearly 12 months, at least 50 people lay dead. The number grew when others succumbed to starvation and sickness from the near siege-like conditions in the tents and on the streets.

A miner's family in the tent colony, 1920.

A Massacre in Matewan

Six years later, unionized miners in other parts of the country were seeing huge victories — like a 27% pay increase. This inspired the miners around Matewan, West Virginia, to join the United Mine Workers of America in record numbers. By the spring of 1920, 3,000 Matewan miners had joined.

But the Stone Mountain Coal Company retaliated.

This time, the miners had key public officials on their side: both the mayor and Sheriff Sid Hatfield.

So when the coal company called in the Baldwin-Felts (or the “Baldwin Thugs," as the miners knew them), Sheriff Hatfield met them at the train station. After a brief verbal tussle, the Baldwin Thugs carried on, throwing six mining families and all of their possessions out of their homes and into the rain.

Word spread fast, and soon an enraged group of miners headed to the train station where Sheriff Hatfield had promised to arrest the Baldwin men.

The two forces came together on the steps of the Chambers Hardware Store.


The site of the showdown: Chambers Hardware Store, then and now.

When the dust settled, the mayor was shot, seven Baldwin-Felts detectives were killed, and two miners were dead.

Sheriff Hatfield — who claimed credit for the deaths of two Baldwin Thugs — became a hero. This was the first time the seemingly invincible "Baldwin Thugs" had been defeated, which gave the miners hope.

The 1987 John Sayles movie "Matewan" is a dramatic portrayal of the events leading up to the Battle of Matewan. In this scene, the white miners discussing the union get a surprise visitor in the form of an African-American miner and learn a valuable lesson. (Warning: racial slurs.)

In the spring of 1921, charges against Hatfield and his men were either dismissed or they were found not guilty. The enraged Baldwin-Felts crew swore vengeance, and just a few months later, they killed Sheriff Hatfield and his deputy on the steps of the county courthouse.

Nearly 2,000 people marched in their funeral procession. It wound its way through the town of Matewan and to the cemetery in Kentucky. As the rage built among the miners, it headed toward a final confrontation —the Battle of Blair Mountain.

Matewan was "a symbolic moment in a larger, broader and continuing historical struggle — in the words of Mingo county miner J.B. Wiggins, the 'struggle for freedom and liberty.'" — Historian David A. Corbin



Logan defenders.

"ACTUAL WAR IS RAGING IN LOGAN": The Battle of Blair Mountain

Another newspaper headline described the outbreak of violence, the culmination of decades of mistreatment by the mining companies and years of rising tensions. This was the Battle of Blair Mountain.

It was just after the Matewan Massacre, and thousands of miners began pouring out of the mountains to take up arms against the villains who had attacked their families, assassinated their hero, and mistreated them for decades. The miners wore red bandanas around their necks to distinguish themselves from the company men wearing white patches and to avoid getting shot by their own troops. (And now you know where the word "rednecks" comes from.)

The sheriff of Little Coal River sent in law enforcement to keep the miners at bay, but the miners captured the troopers, disarmed them, and sent them running. The West Virginia governor also lost his chance for a peaceful resolution when, after meeting with some of the miner's leaders, he chose to reject their demands.

The miners were 13,000 strong as they headed toward the non-union territory of Logan and Mingo counties.

A Blair fighter in 1921.

They faced Sheriff Chafin — who was financially supported by the coal companies — and his 2,000 men who acted as security, police, and militia. Chafin stationed many of his troops in the hills around Blair Mountain, West Virginia. From there, Chafin dropped tear gas and pipe bombs on the miners.

For a moment, it seemed like the confrontation might come to an end when a cease-fire agreement was made, and many of the miners began to head home. But the cease-fire broke when Sheriff Chafin's men were found shooting miners and their families in the streets of Sharples, West Virginia, just beyond Blair Mountain.

They never imagined it would come to this: Federal troops were called in to break up a strike.

"FIGHTING CONTINUES IN MOUNTAINS AS FEDERAL TROOPS REACH MINGO; PLANES REPORTED BOMBING MINERS," reported a New York Times headline shortly after Aug. 25, 1921, when the battle escalated to a new point in U.S. history — with tactics that have not been seen before or since.

On Aug. 30, President Warren Harding intervened, placing all of West Virginia under martial law. Harding sent 14 planes to West Virginia that were fully armed for combat but were only used for surveillance. According to Robert Shogan, "the Federal force that mattered most were the infantry units that began arriving ... [on] September 2, some 2,100 strong."

Blair fighters turning in guns.

The miners never made it through Chafin's lines — and it's hard to say what would've happened if they had. After 1 million rounds were fired, the miners retreated. It was time to go home and fight another day.

Over 100 people had been killed — about 30 on Chafin's side and 50-100 on the union miners' side. Almost 1,000 of the miners were indicted for murder and treason, and many more lost their jobs.

Federal troops standing with arms collected from the striking miners after surrender.

In the short-term, the defeat of the striking miners was devastating to the UMWA. Membership plummeted from 50,000 to 10,000 over the next several years. It took until 1935 — post-Great Depression and FDR's New Deal — for the rest of the mines in southern West Virginia to become unionized.

But a single battle doesn't tell the whole story of the larger fight for justice.

In the end, the coal companies lost more than they gained. These bloody conflicts drew the nation's attention to the plight of the long-suffering mine workers, and unions began to understand that they needed to fight for laws that allowed them to organize and that penalized companies that broke the law.

These victories of conscience allowed a number of other unions, like the United Automobile Workers and the United Steelworkers of America, to flourish as well.

Each battle led to the next.

Each fight solidified the resolve and desire of the miners and their families to stand up for their rights to improve their lot in life.

For these brave workers, the American dream was something they had to fight for, something they died for, and something they wanted to pass on to future generations, despite the efforts of the coal companies to prevent them.

Many people have never heard these stories, but now, they can.

94 years after workers laid down their lives for the right to fair employment, their story is taking root inside the building that used to be the Chambers Hardware Store in downtown Matewan.

The first museum to tell the story of these brave people is opening this May.

The West Virginia Mine Wars Museum will open to tell the people's history of the mine wars — something all Americans can be proud of.

Want to learn more and help them reach their opening fundraising goal? You can donate here. Or read more about the museum and the mine wars here.

Pop Culture

All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a Dancing with the Stars trend gone viral or maybe bridesmaids who fully supportive of the bride's favorite movie (and recreates an iconic scene). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.


1. An Iconic "snow-coaster"

One thing about going all in - it can be crazy and childish at times. That’s something that makes going all in special, connecting with that side of you that takes things less seriously in order to have some fun. Shira Goldstone and her husband took to that mindset when it started snowing in their backyard. Shira’s husband picked up planks of wood (and whatever other tools are required) and within the same night, in the falling snow, built a “snow-coaster” for the two of them to play on.

2. A Truck That's Feeding It's Community

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free bar), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things

For Giving Tuesday, All In teamed up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.


3. All In on Madam Morrible

I’m always all in on a good TikTok trend. This week, I’m going to share with you a classic that has come out of the Wicked franchise and the incredible actress Michelle Yeoh.

Michelle, who plays Madame Morrible in the Wicked movies, is an outstanding actress. She’s known for iconic films like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, as well as Crazy Rich Asians and Star Trek. But her legacy might be this one quote, which she’s said in interviews countless times, and now people can’t stop making videos with the phrase “Madame Morrible, M.M…flip it around, W.W. Wicked Witch!”

You might have to take a look at how people are going all in yourself, the sound has taken off with already 14.3K videos, and the variations are unstoppable...defying all odds and maybe even...defying gravity?

4. Spotify Wrapped: All in on "Coconut Mall"

TikTok · Ale

www.tiktok.com

There’s nothing better than finding a song that hits just right and gets you feeling productive. For some people, it’s lofi beats. For others, it’s orchestra music. For TikTok user @aleinmotion, it was the “coconut mall” song from the Mario Kart racing soundtrack. Ale never realized how much she listened to the song until it became #1 on her Spotify Wrapped. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what you love most, and I’m thinking this is one of those moments for Ale.

5. A Family Prank Everyone Enjoys

This girl said her boyfriend had an ugly hat, so her family decided to go all in on supporting him instead. This is when love and humor come together, a perfect prank that actually made the boyfriends day…and taught his girlfriend that nothing is really that serious! They even got the daughter her very own hat as well, and she looked happy to wear it!

As someone who grew up with a dad who always wore floppy hats to protect him from the sun, I understand the embarrassment. Maybe it’s time I go all in and show my support with a matching hat and white long sleeve sun shirt!

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick up your favorite flavor of an All In bar at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one bar. Enjoy!

Autumn de Forest, art, kids, artists, painting, Pope
Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was five years old, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-six-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."


Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. When they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.

art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old.Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame

When Autumn was eight, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had...questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn ignored her critics and kept painting.

By age 14, she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5

Somehow, as the focus on her age began to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it was back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest

The results speak for themselves

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists An Autumn de Forest paintingAutumn de Forest

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with Pope Francis.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, art Autumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

At 16, she also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager—fetching as much as $25,000 each—much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.

Now 24, Autumn continues to be represented by Park West Gallery, the world's largest art dealer, and is keeping busy with her craft and philanthropy.

- YouTube youtu.be

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has certainly kept her busy. In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 88 million views on YouTube.

And of course, de Forest continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone so young, but that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

De Forest's latest solo exhibition debuted in late August of this year, and ran through mi September at the Park West Soho Gallery. She now resides in Los Angeles according to her profile on the networking site, dot.cards.

For more information, visit her website.

This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.

money, tech, teaching money to kids, tech boundaries for kids, parenting, parenting tips, kids and screens
@growingwithleong/TikTok, used with permission

Dad Leong Hiew came up with a brilliant set of ground rules for tech and money that both kids and parents can benefit from.

Australia-based dad Leong Hiew shared that his sons are approaching the age where they're ready to start dealing with little bits of pocket money here and there. Wanting to start them off on the right foot, he sat down to write some appropriate ground rules for healthy money management.

That's when he realized not only that the rules he had already jotted down for technology and screen use applied perfectly, but also that they were guidelines adults could benefit from as well.


So he combined them into one set. And parents are begging to grab this document. Reading them, it's easy to see why.

Rule #1: Money and tech are TOOLS to help us grow

…and therefore, can't make you happy. Being kind, working hard, and spending time with those you love, on the other hand, can.

money, tech, teaching money to kids, tech boundaries for kids, parenting, parenting tips, kids and screens A joyful family playing outdoors.Photo credit: Canva

Rule #2: Do important things first

Eating and sleeping well, playing outside, spending time as a family, and completing homework and chores always take precedence. "No exceptions," he says.

Rule #3: Learn small before doing big

"We practice spending $2 before we try to spend $20. We try playing with small apps before we jump on big platforms. We learn by biting off what we can chew," said Hiew.

money, tech, teaching money to kids, tech boundaries for kids, parenting, parenting tips, kids and screens Child counting coins with an abacus and jar nearby on a table.Photo credit: Canva

Rule #4: If we show healthy signs, we get more; if we have warning signs, we get less

For both technology and money: if it leads to hiding or sneaking, throwing tantrums when we don't have them, or thinking about nothing else, then "it all goes away."

Rule #4: Mistakes are OK. Hiding them is not.

Hiew argues that talking openly about mistakes helps us learn from them. Both kids and adults prove that they're trustworthy, and thus, earn more privileges.

Rule #5: Our job is to be ourselves

Hiew explained that a kid's job is to be a kid, not to solve a parent's money problems, and vice versa. This one was a little more money-oriented, but easy to see how it could be applied to tech use, especially if certain platforms are forcing kids to lose their innocence a bit too quickly.

And perhaps the sweetest part of all comes at the very bottom statement of the document: "Daddy loves you, and I am here to help you learn and grow! If you are not sure, talk to Daddy, and Daddy will listen and help you learn what to do."

Hiew concluded by reiterating how much children thrive on routine and structure, saying, "it grounds them and gives them an environment where they are safe and they can trust." And even as an adult, he said that the rules helped remind him of the importance of "concentrating on myself."

@growingwithleong Gratitude 458: Household Rules for Money & Tech. I share with you my household rules for money and tech. Do they resonate with you? — Series intro: Everyday I find a moment of gratitude, to cherish my life and the world, and help me initiate positive action. This series is a record for my kids… Boys, this is what Daddy is grateful today. Did you find something to grateful for too?
♬ original sound - Leong’s Growth Journal 🇦🇺

People were totally onboard with these rules, and applauded Hiew for putting them together in such a concise and effective way.

"I am a wealth planner…[and] I am confident that many of my clients would have had easier paths if someone instilled them in them at an early age."

"I like that money and tech are tools that really sat with me."

"As a parent, a therapist, and a sober adult, I want to tell you I found this to be perhaps the greatest understanding of parenting and self reflection on what's important in life that I've ever seen."

With this framework, families can all get aligned with what really matters. And if you, like many viewers of this video, are jonesing for your own copy, Hiew graciously made a free downloadable, editable document, found here.

Community

Frugal people share 15 "fancy" home hacks that feel bougie while still saving them money

"It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!"

frugal, frugal living, frugal home, frugal house, frugal money saving tips

Frugal people share money saving home tips.

Being frugal can sometimes feel anything but luxurious. Saving money usually means cutting back or giving up on the "finer" things.

But frugal people have found ways to still cut back on household spending while making their homes feel like five-star hotels. And bonus: their frugal "little luxuries" can have even bigger payoffs than saving money—they have big mental health benefits.


“Little luxuries can trigger the release of feel-good neurotransmitters, improving overall mood,” Robert Cuyler, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer at Freespira, explained to VeryWell Mind. "Physically, little luxuries that promote relaxation and well-being can lead to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, reduced muscle tension, and a strengthened immune system due to decreased stress levels."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

To save money around the house while still feeling fancy, these are 15 frugal home hacks.

"My grandfather in law has motion sensor lights in every room in his home. He got me some for my apartment back in the day, and man oh man. I felt like a KING every time I walked in and the lights just popped on. My energy bill was also noticeably smaller. Still not sure why they changed to walled sized bills... Also, as an eco conscious human, I was glad to be saving energy. Finally, I found it to be more hygienic and less stressful when not having to worry about touching lights when cooking or whatever. Still swear by automated illumination to this day." - KVNTRY

"Wait til you hear about pressure-based light switches. I put one in the door jamb of my pantry so when you open the door, the light immediately kicks on. Close it again, and it shuts off. It’s glorious." - Stone_The_Rock

"Cloth napkins. We haven’t bought paper napkins in years, and the cloth ones are so much nicer anyway." - SmileFirstThenSpeak

"Carrying everything on trays. I might be overdosing on Downton Abbey, but having trays of various sizes readily available is nicer and easier." - Heel_Worker982

@hellobrownlow

welcome to Frugal Living Essentials! we're talking about all the little things that add up to being super frugal in your day to day life. #frugalliving #frugalmom #singleincomefamily #livebelowyourmeans #frugal

"Changing my toilet seats out to the easy to slide off versions so you clean everything more thoroughly without fighting crevices is a game changer." - mycofirsttime

"An led bulb that I programmed to do sunrise/sunset wakeup and sleep routines. Silicone trays to put skincare products on." - Okiedonutdokie

"Auto sensor soap and water dispenser for the kitchen so I don't have to clean the faucets when I might have gotten raw meat juices on them." - SilentRaindrops

"I bought a big pack of white washcloths for general use and I keep a stack neatly folded in half on the bathroom counter. Feels hotel-core and 'prepared' for little effort." - infieldmitt

"Having indoor plants - especially the ones that have low light needs and are easy to propagate. My pothos plant is the gift that keeps on giving since its cuttings have allowed me to have greenery in every room of my place. I’ve gotten all my plants frugally - cuttings from friends, inherited plants from moving neighbors, rescued plants from work, and occasional purchases from places like Aldi or Trader Joe’s. I’m lucky to have a southeast facing room and all of my plants thrive in there. I feel so freaking fancy sitting among my plants, reading a book with my dog by my side." - onlythegoodstuff44

"Bathroom fan switch with choice of how many minutes you want it to run. No more worrying about it running when we're asleep or outside the house." - fishfishbirdbirdcat

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I put a pretty vintage pitcher in my shower that I fill up with hot water to use while I have the water turned off. It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!" - laurasaurus5

"My door catchers and door stops. For the room doors that are almost always open, I installed magnetic door catchers on the baseboard. This holds the doors in place, creating clean lines in the rooms and predictably large openings. I also had two 5 lbs kettle bells which I spray painted chrome and use as door stops at my front and back doors. They are easy to place, look good, and securely hold heavy exterior doors open. I love them." - AvivaStrom

"We got a robot vacuum mop. For the price of one month of having a cleaner come in to do my floors, I can have someone other than me vacuum and mop daily! Yay for Mr. Clean! Such a cheerful helper! It feels a little like having staff. 🧐" - mystery_biscotti

"Purchased a French door from Lowes and replaced my sliding glass door. It made the room 'pop'. They have doors in every price range via their catalog from a modest expense to very expensive. I absolutely hate sliding glass doors." - texasusa

"Get one of those shower curtain rods that's curved outward. Total game changer." - CurnanBarbarian

Music

Gen X icon Tori Amos brain farted a song on stage. Her recovery has menopausal women rolling.

She stopped cold mid-performance, then had a perfect improvised response.

tori amos, live concert, menopause, women, aging
Justin Higuchi from Los Angeles, CA, USA (Wikimedia Commons)

Tori Amos is still a voice for Gen X women.

When Tori Amos launched her debut solo album Little Earthquakes in 1992, she became an icon to a whole generation of angsty Gen X teens and young adults. At age 62, the singer-songwriter is still known for her flaming red hair, passionate piano playing, and unique voice. Fans still go see her live to hear her perform classics like "Silent All These Years," "Crucify," "Cornflake Girl," and more.

Now, Amos is making a name for herself as a "menopausal queen" after she brain farted one of her own songs live on stage. She's been performing for decades and writes her own songs, so forgetting a lyric or chord is pretty unexpected. But in the middle of a concert, after singing, "Not tonight, Josephine"—the opening line of her song "Josephine"—she stopped abruptly, looked at the audience, and whisper-dropped an f-bomb.


The audience laughed out loud. Then Amos picked right back up with a whole new song, improvised on the spot, about her menopausal brain:

"It was bound to happen, it was bound to happen, somewhere in my menopausal mind…as long as I know a couple things, like this is what it is, and this is what it is [indicating the microphones], we'll get there eventually. It was bound to happen in my menopausal mind, but at least I can laugh this time."

The audience, undoubtedly filled with menopausal and perimenopausal fans, cheered wildly.

The woman who shared the video, @thegarbagemom on Instagram, wrote:

"Tori Amos having a full blown brain-fog moment and just rolling with it? GEN X ICON QUEEN BEHAVIOR👑

THANK YOU @toriamos for continuing to be a siren voice for our generation. 🩷 I loved her as a teen and love her even more now!

Her music was the soundtrack to our girlhood revolution, and now she’s still here (!!!) still showing up for us and telling the truth, even when her brain is foggy, even when her body is changing.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It feels like watching our entire generation grow up together.

This is why Perimenopause-a-Palooza matters (and will happen!) Because artists like Tori didn’t just shape our youth, they’re shaping this chapter too. 💯

We deserve a place where our stories, our humor, our rage and our power in mid-life are seen and heard. This chapter of our life needs a stage too!!"

Amos has been a graceful aging advocate for years now. In 2012, she told CNN journalist Brooke Baldwin, "As you get older, you just have to step into your grace ... The youngsters don’t have what you bring, which is an awareness, a knowledge. Please, just hold your head up high. You can’t be 27 and be a great queen.”

She also spoke about menopause at another concert, saying the worst thing about it was forgetting things. However, she added that there were great things about it, too, telling young women that they'll "understand what fire is" when they're 50. "Just you wait," she said.

from toriamos

Gen Xers are loving how Amos went from being the voice of our girlhood to the voice of our womanhood without skipping a beat. Those angsty youngsters still live somewhere in us, and it's all the more comforting to have Tori Amos nailing our feelings at this stage of life, too.

7 ways to have a blast at holiday parties even if you're an introvert who can't stand holiday parties

Woman in a black and white polka dot sleeveless dress standing beside a green Christmas tree.

There has long been a notion that introverts (or people who get drained easily by people or events) just want to stay home. This isn't true! And as the holidays approach and schedules begin to fill up, there are super healthy ways to navigate the season with grace…and have fun while doing it.

In fact, with a little pre-planning and boundary-setting (which is helpful regardless of how you give and receive energy), it's time for introverts to put their party gear on and enjoy life on their terms.


So often, many of us get stuck in a narrative. "Oh, I'm not as talkative as Jane, I guess I don't belong." Or "Dave really likes to do the limbo and I don't." But how boring would the world be if there were only "Janes" and "Daves"? The limbo line would be never-ending!

stefflon don dance GIF by LuisFonsi Giphy

Many experts, alongside everyday people, have offered advice on how to reframe what fun looks like and help guide everyone toward a good time.

1. RETHINK YOUR NERVES

This tactic is often used by entertainers. When, say, a comedian or musician is about to step onto the stage, sometimes the butterflies can feel overwhelming. But once someone has learned to control their nerves or at least become fully aware of them, they can use those nerves to their advantage for an even better performance.

In a piece for Good Housekeeping, Lauren Laverne suggests, "Accept your nerves. Trying to stamp down anxiety makes it worse. Instead, do what everyone in showbiz does and let it be your fuel. It's okay to feel wound up when something matters. If you can, reimagine those fizzy feelings as potential excitement and a sense of possibility."

Polly Campbell, in an article for Psychology Today, has similar advice: "Reinterpret the signals you’re getting from your body. When I walk into a social gathering—even one with good friends—I have some anxiety. It makes me nervous. My heart beats a little faster in the base of my throat, I feel the tension in my shoulders, sometimes my palms sweat, and I become super alert. Stress? Maybe. But it's really just my body preparing me to be successful at the event. It's priming me to be alert and energized. Reinterpreting those physical signs as excitement and curiosity can change how we experience stress and remind us that physical changes mean our body is responding naturally."

2. DON'T CATASTROPHIZE

It's difficult, when our minds start spinning anxiety in a blender, not to think of the worst-case scenario. But Laverne puts it nicely when adding, "Instead of disaster scenarios, add other possibilities into the mix. Your worst case is possible but highly unlikely, as is your dream result. Infinitely more probable is that your event will land happily in the middle of the two."

parties, holidays, introverts, extroverts, fun People at a party give a toast. Photo by Al Elmes on Unsplash

3. SET BOUNDARIES

Over on Reddit, in a thread tackling this very subject, many suggested approaching the party in terms of when you go. That way, everyone can enjoy themselves, each in their own way.

One Redditor suggests to "Go early enough that everyone's still sober(!), then stay for one or two drinks before leaving after a couple of hours (and/or everyone starts getting too drunk to be worth socialising with anyway). You've done your obligation by showing up, without feeling pressure to stick around as it gets more chaotic." That seems fair.

Similarly, this commenter says, "Only go / stay for as long as it’s enjoyable at all for you. Get some free food, try and soak in the atmosphere of Christmasy-ness. Then leave."

4. LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS

This one can be super helpful. Sometimes we write out what the whole event will be in our heads before we even step into the shower to get ready. If you drop those expectations, you might find yourself surprised by the outcome.

Campbell wisely shares, "The things that make the festive events so much fun and memorable are the unexpected things that happen, the crazy stuff people say, the new friends you make, and the great meal you enjoy even when Grandma brings the weird Jell-O mold. When you drop the expectations about how things should be—how people should act, how the food should be, what kind of environment you want—things get easier and much more interesting."

5. BE INQUISITIVE

If shyness, introversion, or just plain nerves make you anxious about talking to people you hardly know (or don't know at all) flip the script. Ask them questions. Laverne puts it bluntly but clearly: "Worried about chatting to strangers? Ask questions! It sounds obvious, but everyone loves talking about themselves, and they like people who are interested. It’s the quickest way to make friends and – bonus if you’re shy – means that the spotlight is elsewhere rather than on you."

party, introvert, extrovert, Vince Vaughn, fun Vince Vaughn enjoys the party. Giphy Vince Vaughn Party GIF

6. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE

Campbell shares the notion that the Golden Rule always applies and that, on some level, what you put out is what you get back. She advises, "Be generous to others. Even the extroverts among us get worn out, have bad days, have a hard time connecting with strangers, or deal with difficult family members. The best way through is to be generous with all whom you encounter. This means offering to get a drink if you are going to the bar, showing interest in others, smiling, and being patient and appreciative. There isn't much kindness that doesn't improve."

7. GO INTENTIONALLY

Perhaps the most important thing to remember when you're attending an event is that it is designed to be fun. No one is actively hoping you have a bad time. So if you go in with an intention, whatever that might be, try to stick to it.

Campbell also shares, "The second you decide to attend a festive affair, commit to enjoying it. If you are going to your child’s choir concert, intend to soak up the good music and relax. Headed to your spouse’s office party? Intend to talk to one of the people you have heard so much about. Joining a family gathering, intend to experience gratitude for whatever appears in those crazy, chaotic affairs. Knowing what kind of experience you truly want to have will help you create it and make it better for those you are sharing the time with too."