Titans of the fashion industry Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana (better known as Dolce & Gabbana) made a powerful enemy over the weekend after referring children born to parents via in vitro fertilization (IVF) as “synthetic children."
“No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: Life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed. You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that's how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog."
Soon after, Elton John took to his Instagram account, tearing into the famed designers. "How dare you refer to my beautiful children as 'synthetic.'"
In doing this, the hashtag #BoycottDolceGabbana was born.
How dare you refer to my beautiful children as "synthetic". And shame on you for wagging your judgemental little fingers at IVF - a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfil their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana
A photo posted by Elton John (@eltonjohn) on
"How dare you refer to my beautiful children as 'synthetic.' And shame on you for wagging your judgemental (sic) little fingers at IVF — a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfil (sic) their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana"
Almost instantly, he was joined by celebrities, LGBT individuals and allies, children born through IVF, and parents who have had children through this method.
"Degrassi" actress Aislinn Paul chimed in, coming forward as an IVF baby.
She was joined by parents of children born via IVF.
One man swore off the brand after noting that he was twice adopted.
Another pointed out that lobbing what was sure to be viewed as an insult to LGBT parents was a slap in the face to many of the brand's most ardent supporters.
Since the first baby was born via IVF in 1978, more than 5 million children have come into the world through the method.
Statements like the ones put forward by the designers are more than simply a comment of personal choice; they're a condemnation of the existence of millions of babies born via IVF, a criticism of the parenting skills of the loving couples who have adopted or undergone fertility treatments, and — as saddening as it is — dismissed LGBT people as unfit parents. IVF is not a new concept, making their comments seem that much more outdated.
This, however, isn't the first time Dolce and Gabbana have chimed in on the topic.
In 2005, the two posed for a "family photograph" on the cover of Vanity Fair. Gabbana told the magazine he wanted to have children but added, “I guess you cannot have everything in life."
The following year, Gabbana elaborated on his position, which stayed mostly under the radar. At the time, it seems as though he was in favor of IVF, noting that he had asked an acquaintance to act as a surrogate mother.
"My dream is to have a baby, not to adopt one because I am not up to it and I don't feel strong enough. I want my own child, a biological child, the fruit of my sperm, conceived through artificial insemination because it wouldn't make sense for me to make love to a woman I don't love. The person I love today is my partner so I am looking for a civilized and refined woman. A week ago I asked a dear friend of mine, who is twelve years younger than me, if she would help. I asked her 'Would you like to be the mother of my child ?' She was left a bit shocked and the following day telephoned and said she was still shocked but thought it was a great idea. I am opposed to the idea of a child growing up with two gay parents. A child needs a mother and a father. I could not imagine my childhood without my mother. I also believe that it is cruel to take a baby away from its mother."
The designers have since attempted to sidestep the backlash by offering statements of clarification, though the damage may have been done.
"We firmly believe in democracy and the fundamental principle of freedom of expression that upholds it," Gabbana said. "We talked about our way of seeing reality, but it was never our intention to judge other people's choices. We do believe in freedom and love."
"I'm Sicilian and I grew up in a traditional family made up of a mother, a father and children," Dolce added. "I am very well aware of the fact that there are other types of families and they are as legitimate as the one I've known. But in my personal experience, family had a different configuration. That is the place where I learnt the values of love and family. This is the reality in which I grew up, but it does not imply that I don't understand different ones. I was talking about my personal view, without judging other people's choices and decisions."
The designers absolutely have a right to express themselves and their opinions, and those who disagree are free to take their business elsewhere.
Families come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. While Dolce states that he learned "the values of love and family" through "a traditional family made up of a mother, a father and children," the views expressed in their recent interview do cast aspersions on others' choices and decisions. Freedom of expression doesn't mean that others are in any way required to stand by as their loved ones are insulted. The boycott of Dolce & Gabbana is just as much an expression of free speech as the original comments, themselves.
There's always time to change, and as Dolce & Gabbana have done before, their views on this subject may shift as the years pass. They still might come around on this issue. Until then, though, you can't really blame Elton John and others for taking umbrage at blatant disrespect and dehumanization being projected onto their loved ones. True love and family — the very concept Dolce & Gabbana claim to uphold — means standing up for your loved ones when they come under fire, and Elton John is showing himself to be the type of wonderful parent the designers don't believe he can be.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.