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DAYMN: How Many Years Has America Been At War Since 1776?

This pie chart should hang its head in shame (and so should America).

Culture

A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Guys literally only want one thing and it's a cool stick.

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this:

"Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting."

Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures.

TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.


Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.

People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

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Mental Health

Psychologist shares beautiful advice for talking to people with dementia

"This isn't 'playing along to pacify the old guy,' this is an opportunity..."

Canva

Dr. David McPhee offers advice for talking to someone living in a different time in their head.

Few things are more difficult than watching a loved one's grip on reality slipping away. Dementia can be brutal for families and caregivers, and knowing how to handle the various stages can be tricky to figure out.

The Alzheimer's Association offers tips for communicating in the early, middle and late stages of the disease, as dementia manifests differently as the disease progresses. The Family Caregiver Alliance also offers advice for talking to someone with various forms and phases of dementia. Some communication tips deal with confusion, agitation and other challenging behaviors that can come along with losing one's memory, and those tips are incredibly important. But what about when the person is seemingly living in a different time, immersed in their memories of the past, unaware of what has happened since then?

Psychologist David McPhee shared some advice with a person on Quora who asked, "How do I answer my dad with dementia when he talks about his mom and dad being alive? Do I go along with it or tell him they have passed away?"

McPhee wrote:

"Enter into his reality and enjoy it. He doesn't need to be 'oriented.' Thank God the days are gone when people with advanced dementia were tortured by huge calendars and reminder signs and loved ones were urged to 'orient' them to some boring current 'reality.'

If dad spends most of his time in 1959, sit with him. Ask questions he didn't have time for before. Ask about people long dead, but alive to him, learn, celebrate your heritage. His parents are alive to him. Learn more about your grandparents. If he tells the same story over and over, appreciate it as if it's music, and you keep coming back to the beautiful refrain.

This isn't 'playing along to pacify the old guy,' this is an opportunity to communicate and treasure memories real but out of time."

People on Quora loved the thoughtful, compassionate advice. Many people shared that they had taken this approach with their relatives with good results, and people who work with dementia patients confirmed it also. Some said that "orienting" to present reality may be helpful for people in the early stages of dementia, but not necessarily in the middle or later stages.

Of course, caregivers know that dementia means more than simply living in another time period in your head, and that talking with a person with dementia might require different skills and approaches on different days. But this advice to learn about a loved one's past may come in handy for family members who feel sad or hurt that they aren't being remembered in the present. It may help to see it as an opportunity to time travel with the person rather than a loss. When a person is deep in their long-term memory, you may be surprised and delighted by what you can discover.

People with dementia don't need to be brought back to the present if it's just going to confuse or irritate them. If they are in a safe place and are being watched over so they don't wander or do something dangerous, let them be. Join them in their past world and get to know them in a way you may not have had the opportunity to otherwise.

Solid advice, Dr. McPhee. Thank you for sharing it publicly.


This article originally appeared on 10.15.21

From Your Site Articles
well-being
Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

TikTok

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


Clayton’s videos make a huge impact on people. His latest “Dinner With Dad” had 3 million views. Many share being brought to tears, for different reasons.

@yourprouddad

Happy Sunday❤️. Is school out for you??

♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits

Some are reminded of what they once had with their own fathers.

“I’m never gonna have something like this again,” wrote one person.

Others lament what they will never get.

“I would die for my parents to say they are proud of me just once,” wrote another.

Most fully embrace Clayton as a stand-in father, sharing their personal triumphs, challenges, and insecurities.

One person shared, “Hi dad, I got into volleyball.”

Another vented, “Dad…I can’t sleep thinking about how scared I am of real life.”

Channeling Rob Kennedy, the creator of the “Dad How Do I?” YouTube series, Clayton also shares practical skills one might ask their father, such as how to tie a tie.

@yourprouddad

How to tie a tie!

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton
@yourprouddad

How to tie a tie!

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

Or shave. Although he says you do it the same way for every part of your body … I would double check with mom on that.

@yourprouddad

POV:Dad teaches you to Shave🙂

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

With his videos, Clayton exudes unconditional love and support, helping others feel accepted. In the video below, he happily offers his chips to kids who are straight and those who come out. And with both, he jokingly snatches the chip back. If that’s not dad behavior, I don’t know what is.

@yourprouddad

I’ll love you just the same. Dad jokes all around😂😂

♬ Zou Bisou Bisou - Gillian Hills

He’ll even tuck you in after you fall asleep to your favorite show. Pure sweetness.

@yourprouddad

Goodnight❤️

♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits
@yourprouddad

POV:Dad teaches you to Shave🙂

♬ original sound - Summer Clayton

Yep, Clayton gets dad jokes, in the best way. Like the time when he just couldn’t remember what special day it was … oh right, it’s your birthday. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Then he presents three different cakes. It’s cheesy and delightful.

@yourprouddad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉

♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits

Clayton might not be a biological father (yet), but he makes for one great dad. It’s lovely to see the power of the internet being harnessed in such a positive and uplifting way. Thanks to TikTok, it’s never too late to have dinner with dad.


This article originally appeared on 5.3.22

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Family

Four single moms 'burn the rulebook of life' and buy a home together

“We've unlocked the power of sharing."

via Pexels

Single moms break the mold with their living arrangements.

Our choices in life should only be limited by our imaginations. However, far too many of us limit our options because of what others may think or how we’ve been raised.

Four women in Washington, D.C., completely reimagined their concepts of family, friendship and child-rearing and have created an urban commune where they’re free to pursue happiness in a way most people never consider.

Holly Harper and Herrin Hopper always joked that one day they'd live together on a commune in Vermont. But after they both got divorced, they began to take their old joke seriously.

"Holly and I said, 'Why not do this?'" Harper recalled in an interview with Today. "Within a weekend we found this house."

The two friends found two other single women, Jen and Leandra, and they purchased a four-unit home. The arrangement allows the four women to save money but it also has countless advantages for all four families. “We've unlocked the power of sharing, and our baseline expenses decreased, allowing us to experience abundance,” Harper wrote in Insider.

“This living arrangement is a kid's paradise, complete with a giant trampoline, a parkour line, a garden, a gym, a big-screen TV, and a craft studio,” Harper wrote. “Our kids—who can use the buddy system for a walk to get gelato, and who have playmates during the quarantine and homeschool months—are thriving.”

The children, ages 9 to 14, relate to each other like cousins and their new living arrangement provides them with new perspectives on life that they wouldn’t have had otherwise. It gives them a great opportunity to learn more about dating, bullying, divorce, family, sexual orientation, creativity, death and finding joy.

They also have no shortage of playmates and things to do. The home is equipped with a 15-foot trampoline, parkour slackline, hammocks, sleds and an inflatable pool in the summer. Living at the home they’ve dubbed “The Siren House” is a lot like a permanent summer camp.

It has also taught the four mothers how to share. The women share expenses, cars, food, babysitting duties, dog-walking and hugs with each other. Harper says that their living arrangement saves her $30,000 a year.

“We don’t know whose socks are whose ... socks everywhere,” Harper said. “iPads, dishes, cups. There’s a lot of exchanging that occurs. Usually not planned.”

To keep everything in order they have routine “homeowners meetings” where they discuss repairs and yard work. The meetings often happen over a bottle of Champagne.

"There is almost a spiritual safety net every day here," Harper said. "I could be my worst self, I could be my best self, and they see me for who I am, and it's OK."

For Harper, the home isn’t a utopia, but the arrangement gives the four families the greatest chance to find happiness. “The goal of life is not to reach some plane of happiness but to create an environment where we are safe to pursue happiness in every moment,” Harper wrote.


This article originally appeared on 3.15.22


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Science

People are sharing what they believe happens after we die. The responses are enlightening.

Here are 16 of the best responses.

via Pixabay

A man is walking into heaven (or is he?).

One of the funniest and most bizarre things about being a human being is that we really know very little about what’s going on. Sure, many religious people are confident they know why we exist, where we came from and what happens after we die, but there isn’t a whole lot of evidence to suggest they’re correct.

However, even though we are at the center of an incredible mystery, most people are happy to go about their days without worrying about the basic nature of our existence. This has always been very strange to me. Why isn’t the nature of existence the No. 1 question on everyone’s mind the moment they wake up?

There is one thing we do know for sure: that we are all going to die one day. Some people believe that once we flatline we may get invited to heaven where we get to spend all eternity playing the harp, reuniting with old friends and relatives, and enjoying a pain-free, joyous existence.

But as the TV show “The Good Place” suggests, living a perfect life, free of suffering or challenges, eventually becomes pretty forking boring and pointless.

Mark Twain said it best in “Letters from the Earth”:

His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values. It consists—utterly and entirely—of diversions which he cares next to nothing about, here in the earth, yet is quite sure he will like them in heaven. Isn't it curious? Isn't it interesting?

Many also believe that if there’s a heaven, there’s also hell where the folks who had a good time on Earth wind up. But wouldn’t that get boring, too? Just as one can get accustomed to living in constant beauty, one probably gets acclimated to the heat and suffering down below.

There are also some who believe in reincarnation, so every time we die we are born again as a different species. Cool if you’re a dolphin, bad news if you’re a dung beetle.

Then there are those who believe that nothing supernatural happens. Your consciousness shuts off and things are a lot like before you were born—absolute nothingness. That’s the least interesting option, but according to science, the most likely.

Reddit user throwawayacctlmaooo wanted to find out what posters on the forum thought about life after death, so they asked, “What do you legitimately believe happens after we die?” They received a ton of responses that were outside of the usual “go to heaven/go to hell” variety. What’s cool is that the posts show that a lot of people have widely divergent ideas about what happens after we die.

Here are some of the best responses to the biggest question in life.

1. You're a wave

"No idea, but there is this quote from the TV show 'The Good Place' that I really like and have found comfort in.

"'Picture a wave. In the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it's there. And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave.

"And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be.'" — AlexEventstar

2. Our energy moves on

"Our energy — just like that of every living thing before us — will go on and become new things. Soil. Plants. Lions. Toilet paper. Space ship wheel arches. Dragonfly toes. We're all just part of the same system. Neither manufactured nor destroyed. We're just transferring that bestowed upon us from all those before. Death is life." — four__beasts

3. You've been there before

"Just like before you were born. Not good, not bad, just non-existence." — SniffCheck

4. No need to fear

​"In the great words of Mark Twain: 'I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." — Eva__Unit__02

5. One more time

"When I think about it, I come to this very same conclusion. And that terrifies me. The only thing that is a little comforting for me is that, according to some research and according to some people who have experienced Near Death, just before full-on 'nothingness," you relive your life one last time, with an emphasis on the best moments in your life, all being overwhelmed with a feeling of love." — MrXANA91

6. Isn't this reincarnation?

"I think we just keep on hitting a randomize button and we manifest into something else, again and again endlessly." — FarOutSonOfLung

7. The great nothing

"In my opinion, nothing. Like being under anesthesia but never waking up and ceasing to exist." — throwayaacctlmaooo

8. Choose your own adventure

"I'd like to think we reset like a game and we could choose whether we get reborn or go to some sort of heaven or something." — No_But_Yes

9. We're energy

"I’d honestly like to believe that we all become energy. We move around the universe, maybe even become one with it until we are reincarnated again as something else on earth or a different planet." — cheese-emperor

10. Salamanders

"I think we are all reincarnated as salamanders." — Kyky716

11. New universe?

"I believe we go to another universe but that's just wishful thinking." — Zarek_Pumpkineater

12. Incomparable infinity

"I'm under the impression that death is a separate experience we can't comprehend. Like someone with vision will never truly know the concept of blindness or someone with hearing will never know the concept of deafness.

"You only experience it while you're doing it and I am currently experiencing being alive as a human. You don't know what it was like before you were born because you're obviously alive. Just like you don't know deafness because your ears work.
Beyond that, I believe the universe is in endless million-trillion year long cycles of growth and collapse and the fact that I exist at all means, throughout infinity, I am a guaranteed mathematic outcome and must repeat again." — bermudalily

13. Nothing

"Nothing. It's the only answer that makes sense. We ARE our thoughts. Our thoughts are in our brain. When we die, our brain shuts down. So our thoughts no longer exist. Anybody who believes in any form of an afterlife really needs to explain how we can have thoughts without our brain. And if they believe that's somehow magically possible, why do we have brains while still alive?" — joeri1505

14. You become fertilizer

"The same as when trees, plants, or other animals die, we decompose & feed the earth for something else to grow." — skev303

15. May the source be with you

"What I like to believe is that all life comes from a specific energy source and is returned there once we die. Sort of like a big pool of life, where all souls merge after death and cycle back into the world to be reborn. As for what we experience in that form I have no idea. But the entire world lives and functions on cycles, from the food chain to the weather cycle, eveywhere you look there is a cycle to maintain it. So it only makes sense life would work the same way." — doopster77

16. Star stuff

"Your surviving family gets all teary, then buries or burns your lifeless body. As the years pass, what atoms once made you, you, become all mixed up in other things, until much later on when the sun dies and engulfs the earth and all its atoms in a final dance of atomic death. Because we are all made of stars, and to them we will all return." — dbryar

This article originally appeared on 3.4.22

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