Bride called ‘heartless’ by family for planning child-free wedding refuses to change her mind
Shouldn’t the family have a say in her wedding?
The bride wouldn't budge.
One of the major decisions a couple has when planning a wedding is whether guests are free to bring their children or if it will be child-free. Many people believe that children should be able to come to weddings because, after all, they are family affairs.
However, the counter-argument is that a wedding also costs a lot of money per guest, and people would rather have an adult enjoying a $75 plate of prime rib than a 5-year-old who will take a bite and then ask for some chicken nuggets.
Further, the child-free crowd may also want their party to be an all-out rave, which may be inappropriate for children to attend.
A Reddit user took a lot of heat from her family for having a no-kids policy at her wedding and many folks applauded her decision. The bridge-to-be, 28, posted about her decision and the ensuing drama on the AITAH forum.
“I (28 F) am getting married in a few months, and my fiance and I have been planning a child-free wedding. We both agreed that we want our wedding to be an adult-only affair,” the bride wrote. “We made this very clear on our invitations! However, my sister-in-law (32) has four young children and she's upset about our decision. She called me pleading to make an exception for her kids, saying that she couldn't leave them.”
But the bride stuck to her guns.
“I empathize, but I stood firm on our decision, explaining that we wanted a more formal setting without kids running around. I suggested she could enjoy a night off and assured her we would help her find some childcare options,” the bride continued.
“She got upset, accused me of being heartless, and said if her kids weren't welcomed, she wouldn't attend. My brother (her husband) called me, saying I was causing unnecessary drama and that it was unfair to exclude her children. Now my family is divided,” the bride added.
So, is the bride right to keep her child-free policy even though it would mean that some family members won’t attend her wedding? [Am I wrong] for telling my sister-in-law she can't bring her kids to MY wedding?” she asked the Reddit community.
The commenters overwhelmingly sided with the bride for a simple reason: it’s her big day and she can do what she wants.
"No, it’s your wedding. You're allowed not to have children there if you don’t want them," ShadoMonkey wrote.
LegendofLumis had the perfect response to family members who called her selfish. "You're go***** damn right I am. It's my wedding. Don't bother coming if you aren't going to follow my rules that I've made for my day," they wrote.
Others note that having a child-free wedding comes with a cost and the bride should accept the fact that some people won’t be able to attend.
"As long as OP is okay with people not coming to her wedding due to her rules, then everything should be fine. There shouldn't be drama on either side. … Hopefully, she's flexible and fine if people don't attend," Throwra98787564 wrote.
The good news is that the bride and her sister-in-law were able to work out their disagreement.
“I explained how I envisioned my wedding day and why I preferred it to be an adult-only event. I emphasized wanting everyone to have a great time without worrying about kids being restless or not enjoying themselves,” the bride wrote. “Surprisingly, she was understanding! She admitted she was very upset but appreciated my honesty. We discussed alternative childcare options and she agreed to arrange a babysitter to look after her children during the ceremony and reception.”
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Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids… 
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."