Black mom confronts restaurant manager's racist 'dress code' after he refuses to seat her son
A Baltimore restaurant has released a public apology after refusing to serve a black woman and her son because of its dress code. In a video taken of the incident, the boy's mother, Marcia Grant, clearly points out that while her son, Dallas, wasn't allowed to be seated, a white child who is wearing a very similar outfit was eating in the restaurant.
The white manager at Ouzo Bay verbally ties himself into knots over why the black child cannot be seated in the restaurant but the white kid —who he can clearly see out the window — was eating with his parents.
The video shows that the black child is wearing athletic shorts, tennis shoes and an Air Jordan T-shirt. The white child, who appears to be just getting up and leaving the table after eating, also has on tennis shoes, an athletic shirt, and blue shorts that may or not be athletic in nature.
"I'm sorry, I would love for you to be able to come back and eat here," the manager said.
"So you're telling me my son can't eat here because he has on athletic stuff?" Grant pushes back.
"No, no, no, just the shorts," the manager replied. "It is part of our dress code."
Dress codes only apply to some of us — apparently. This is ridiculously heartbreaking... https://t.co/93fhnNPPe3— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@Rex Chapman🏇🏼) 1592925431
The problem is that the manager is really sticking to his guns and splitting hairs over the two nearly identical outfits. He could have seen the similarities and let them sit down to eat, but he instead refuses service to them when he should have given them the benefit of the doubt.
At that point, it's nearly impossible not to see his decision as being discriminatory. Especially when he states that the white child's shirt wasn't athletic but also admits that he didn't get a "good look" at the shirt.
Plus, he's a child. It's not like his choice of dress is going to disturb other patrons.
"This was not about dress code it was about a black child being treated differently than a white child," Grant wrote on Instagram. "My 9yo was so hurt to see a white child that looked like one of his friends at school and somehow you adults can not seem to understand that this was not about dress code."
The restaurant's parent company, Atlas Restaurant Group, apologized for the incident and said the manager had been placed on indefinite leave. It also immediately changed its dress code so that children 12 and under will not have to adhere to one as long as they are accompanied by a parent.
Today, we learned of an incredibly disturbing incident that occurred at one of our restaurants in Baltimore, Ouzo B… https://t.co/h24sKChjkN— Atlas Restaurant Group (@Atlas Restaurant Group) 1592870961
The incident calls attention to the sometimes not-so-subtle dress codes at bars and restaurants that are aimed at specific ethnic groups. Some places specifically call out baggy clothing, Jordan shoes, flat-bill hats, facial tattoos, and doo-rags.
While others have codes that are ambiguous and allow the door person to make a judgements based on their personal prejudices.
Ouzo Bay's vague ban on athletic shorts invites the manager to project their own biases on the customers, allowing situations where black patrons are discriminated against and white are allowed to eat.
In the end, the sad news is that a nine-year-old boy had to face the ugly reality of racial inequality in America by seeing it in full view, first-hand. "He's 9 years old. It was so hard for him. He goes to a school that's about seventy-percent white," grant told Black News Network.
"They always teach the kids they are the same," she added. "It was really hard for Dallas to see a kid that looked like one of his friends at school sit and eat there and he couldn't."
- A high school principal created a dress code for parents. It's being ... ›
- Woman Skirted Her Work's Strict Dress Code By Dyeing Her Hair Gray ›
- The NFL let players break a rule this weekend. About shoes. For a ... ›
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.