upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Joy

Who won this epic Army vs. Navy drumline battle?

People may be torn on the 'winner,' but everyone agrees it's fun to watch.

army navy drumline battle
Mitchell Vinson/YouTube

Drumline battle before Army-Navy football game.

Is there anything more delightfully energetic than a drumline? No, there's not.

Well, except maybe a drumline battle.

Seeing two drum corps duke it out, taking turns wowing audiences with their rhythmic prowess, is always enjoyable. But when a drumline battle occurs between two branches of the U.S. military, it's an even more epic duel.

The sibling-like rivalries among the military branches are well-known, and when they are channeled into a friendly competition, it's nothing but joyful camaraderie. Last year, the Army and Navy drumlines met on the musical battlefield outside MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey, before the 122nd Army-Navy football game, and the video of their matchup has been viewed more than 3 million times on YouTube.

With the Army drumline decked out in what looks like a mix of fatigues and baseball uniforms and the Navy dressed in crisp black dress uniforms, the visual contrast between the two was already quite stark. Casual versus formal. Laid back versus buttoned up.

The contrast between the drumming talent was not quite as definitive, however. Both drumlines brought their own energy to the competition, and both are fun to watch. At different points, each group seemed to take the upper hand, only to be met with something new. The end, though, is the best, as the two groups came together in a joint jam session followed by fist bumps all around.

The two drumlines met up again on December 10 at this year's Army-Navy football game in Philadelphia, and again both corps were a delight to watch.

But who was the winner of each matchup?

This year's battle is too new to get a good sampling of comments. Judging from the comments of the 2021 video, the verdict was fairly evenly split. Most people simply appreciated what each drumline brought to the competition.

"Army was bouncy and fun, Navy was technical and sharp!" wrote one commenter.

"I like Navy's 'Top Secret' moves," wrote another. "Their technical skills are really good. Army's energy was good as well. Great job all around to both teams. Well done everyone."

"Both Army & Navy represent with excellent performances," wrote another. "Army's was filled with more popular rhythms. Navy's was faster and more complex."

No matter who won, each battle was enjoyable to witness. Much gratitude and respect for all of those who serve.

From Your Site Articles
drumline battle
JoyCommunity
Internet

Underpaid teachers reveal they taught while hungry after mom cries over undecorated classroom

"My 1st year I made 27K and my room was empty."

Photo credit: Canva

Teachers reveal they taught hungry after mom cries over empty classroom

It's August, which means a lot of kids have either started school already or are heading back. The back-to-school month also means an influx of parents voicing their grievances on the internet. Everything from not wanting their children to share school supplies to the teacher's wish list items. What is typically an exciting time for children can be a stressful time for parents and teachers for different reasons.

One disappointed mom took to the internet in tears due to the lack of classroom decor in her child's classroom for "meet the teacher." It could be that this is the mom's first time sending a little one off to school, as to the reason she didn't know that there would likely be more decorating happening before the first day of school. Either way, her tearful reaction to the lack of decorations caused a few teachers to reveal the reality they face.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Overwhelmed with emotion.Photo credit: Canva

Most teachers, especially those of little ones, want to have their classrooms decked out in all the colorful, age-appropriate decor, but in reality, that costs money. Often, money neither teachers nor the school districts have. This is why public school teachers have wish lists that they pass out before the first day of school; some even create Amazon lists so people outside of their district can help. It's a pretty common understanding that teachers don't make a lot of money, but for some parents, just how little teachers make may be overlooked.

A teacher who goes by Mrs. Frazzled on social media recently reacted to the post of the crying mom. In this case, the teacher lived up to her social media moniker because what followed was more PG-13 than her usual content. Someone who goes by the name Kubi responded to Mrs. Frazzled's rant with an eye-opening reality, "My first year as a teacher I made 27K and my room was empty because I could[n't] afford to buy things for it. and I didn't even get my first check until 30 days in so I taught HUNGRY the first month."

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.Photo credit: Canva

The confession prompted Mrs. Frazzled to commiserate with her own, revealing, "I also taught hungry my first year of teaching. That's part of why this whole thing made me so freaking mad. I'll tell you my story as a first-year teacher because it is not a unique story by any means, clearly."

She goes on to share that student teaching isn't paid and comes at the end of teaching certification, which requires soon-to-be-teachers to teach during the day for free, then attend classes at night. This essentially means there's no feasible way for student teachers to make enough money to cover living expenses unless they forego their sleep. Mrs. Frazzled says that in the spring of her student teaching, she had a major life event that resulted in her looking for a new place to live on virtually no income.

@mrs.frazzled Replying to @Kubi ♬ original sound - frazz

"On the heels of this happening, I'm starting my first year as a teacher. And you do not get paid for the first month that you teach, so nine months, no work. Summer, very minimal work. Then you start school, and you need to have a fully furnished and ready classroom, because if you've seen a government-sponsored classroom, you know it is very barren in there."

The woman reveals that she couldn't afford to live in the area where she taught, so her commute was anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. She also confesses that the only reason she had anything in her classroom was because "parents kinda carried me on my back financially." They purchased the things she needed, including a big, colorful rug that can run well over $500.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

"My first month of teaching, I was so stinking poor. I had a mattress on the floor, no refrigerator. I had a couch that I dumpster dove for, and I was driving Postmates after school so that I could get like $12 to buy dinner or whatever. I remember crying because I needed Q-Tips and I couldn't afford Q-Tips. I had to go Postmates for hours to make enough to buy Q-Tips. This is the reality of teaching in the United States," Mrs. Frazzled shares.

It's a reality check that some parents may not be ready to hear when their expectations fall short of the reality teachers are living. Feeling disappointed when something doesn't meet your expectations is understandable, but when it comes to classroom decor and supplies, it takes a village.

From Your Site Articles
teacher pay
InternetPop Culture
Family

Neuropsychologist argues why parents are 'shepherds' not 'engineers' in viral 2 minute speech

“This hit harder than any parenting advice I’ve ever heard.”

Photo credit: Canva

Are you an engineer parent or a shepherd parent?

The intention of almost any parent is to do everything in their power to eventually bring a well-rounded, healthy, happy adult into this world. And yet, parents today are uniquely challenged with the anxiety that comes from this false narrative that if you somehow do everything “right,” your child will have all the success in the world.

And if you didn’t do the thing—have the perfect amount of omega-3s during pregnancy, adhere to the most astringent no-screen rules when they’re toddlers, etc.—you take the blame for any shortcomings your child develops.

However, according to one expert, it might be time for parents to reassess how much power they actually do have in the childrearing process.

In 2022, Dr. Russell Barkley, a psychologist who’s done a lot of pioneering work focused on ADHD, had a very tough love speech (one that seems to be going viral yet again) that began with the words, “The problem with parents these days…”


While that might be a little off-putting at first, trust that the overall message is pretty sound. There's nothing overgeneralized or finger-wagging about it, actually. In fact, it’s more of a permission slip for parents to breathe a bit and enjoy the process.

You do not get to design your children.

Nature would never have permitted that to happen. Evolution would not have allowed a generation of a species to be so influenced by the previous generation. It hasn't happened and it doesn't happen and it especially doesn't happen in children.

You do not design your children.

Barkley then gives the example of playing Mozart while pregnant will spawn a “genius,” or that “enough crib toys” will “fire enough synapses” to make a child grow up a “brilliant mathematician." Sure, stimulations matters, but more likely than not, the necessary stimulation is already being provided and no amount of extra effort will take away this truth:

You just don't have that kind of power…it’s out of your hands.

ussell barkley, nature vs nurture, raising kids, kid psychology, psychology, neuroscience Pregnant woman enjoys music (Mozart, perhaps) smiling gently with headphones.Photo credit: Canva

That can be a tough pill to swallow, but Barkley doubled down on his findings from “twenty years of research in neuroimaging, behavior genetics, developmental psychology, neuropsychology, all of which could apparently be boiled down to:

Your child is born with more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature, and they have nothing to do with you. So the idea that you are going to engineer personalities and IQs and academic achievement skills and all these other things just isn't true."

Still, there is also a beautiful gift in surrendering to this fact, Barkley said, wherein parents get to view their child as less of a “blank slate on which they get to write” and more of a “a genetic mosaic of their extended family.”

And this is where his famous “Shepherd vs. Engineer” analogy comes in.

I like the shepherd view. You are a shepherd. You don't design the sheep. The engineering view makes you responsible for everything--everything that goes right and everything that goes wrong. This is why parents come to us with such guilt. More guilt than we've ever seen in prior generations. Because parents today believe that it's all about them, and what they do, and if they don't get it right, or if their child has a disability, they've done something wrong when in fact the opposite is true. This has nothing to do with your particular brand of parenting.

So I would rather you would stop thinking of yourself as an engineer, and step back and say "I am a shepherd to a unique individual." Shepherds are powerful people. They pick the pastures in which the sheep will graze and develop and grow. They determine whether they're appropriately nourished. They determine whether they're protected from harm. The environment is important but it doesn't design the sheep. No shepherd is going to turn a sheep into a dog. Ain't gonna happen. And yet that is what we see parents trying to do, all the time.

In this speech, Barkley made sure to note the unique, vital role for parents of children with special needs, suggesting that they often feel the pressure to coax them into people that they are not, as a way of protecting them. But, as he said, “No shepherd is gonna turn a sheep into a dog.”

He then brought it all home with what’s to be gained by loosening the grip:

Recognizing that this is a unique individual before you allows you to enjoy the show. So open a bottle of chardonnay, kick off your slippers, sit back, and watch what takes place. Because you don't get to determine this. Enjoy the show. It doesn't last that long--they are gone before you know it.

Let them grow, let them prosper, please design appropriate environments around them, but you don't get to design them.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Obviously, there’s plenty of arguments to be made on either side of the whole nature vs. nurture debate, but the major takeaway seems to be that a parent’s role is equally active—providing structure, stimulation, nurturing, nourishing, etc—as well as passively observing (and accepting) what organically emerges. That latter responsibility might be even harder to fulfill than the former, but it beats stressing out over “engineering” the perfect child.

At its core, Barkley’s shepherd approach seems to be a way for parents to not only offer their kids a bit more grace, but themselves as well. That way everyone can feel safe to be their most authentic selves.

By the way, here is a link to The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature, which Barkley references.

From Your Site Articles
psychology
FamilyParenting
Joy

Woman gives stray cat the most Gen X name ever, and her friend can't stand it

As if?

via Canva/Photos

A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”


When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.


The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.


It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

From Your Site Articles
generation x
JoyPets
Health

'Who should I be?': Video explains why having a self-absorbed parent robs you of a personality

Having a self-absorbed parent is a terrible trap.

Canva/Photos

A man sitting alone with a blank stare.

Have you ever met someone who doesn’t seem to have their own thoughts, opinions, or tastes? They tend to glom onto the personalities of their friends and will change their views on important issues, such as politics or religion, on a whim. When you try to get a sense of their core, it doesn’t seem there is much of one at all.

According to the School of Life, a social media company founded by writer Alain de Botton that helps people better understand themselves and others, a significant reason people around us appear to lack a true sense of self is that they were born to self-absorbed parents. So, if you’re having a hard time understanding a friend who has a weak sense of self or fear you have one yourself, here’s how School of Life explains the issue.

- YouTube youtu.be

Why do some people lack a strong sense of self?

“These poor souls tend to be the products of very particular sorts of childhood. When little, they will have faced environments in which their uniqueness was never a matter of concern to their self-absorbed caregivers. Mother or father were never able to push their needs aside for a time, drop to their level and ask: Who is this extraordinary new member of the human race whom I have helped to create? What are their particular inclinations and loves, and hates? What do they have to tell me? They were far too perturbed and fragile for such self-abnegation. They couldn’t attune to the child—and so the child could not, in turn, attune to themselves, for we can only find out what we think if, in the early days, someone was sufficiently patient to facilitate our own process of self-discovery,” the video states.

sad girl, lonely girl confused girl, personality, self-absorbed parents, girl touching face A girl who is outside and holding her cheeks.via Canva/Photos

It can be tough for someone to go through life with a weak sense of self because they are constantly worried by the opinions of others, and they have a loud inner critic. The pain of having to repress their true selves for years can lead them to have an intense internal rage that they keep deep down, until they can no longer hold it back anymore.

Those who build friendships or fall in love with individuals who have a weak sense of self may be initially charmed by them. They are interested in everything that we love and are happy to mirror us in an incredibly flattering way. Until, of course, the winds change and they follow someone new, transforming into someone completely different. “We can find ourselves dropped like a stone,” the video says. “And yet ironically, we may have been very right for them: they just didn’t know enough about who they were to trust their original instincts.”

man in suit, confident man, man with tie, man in blue suit, man with beard A man in a blue suit.via Canva/Photos

How can people regain their sense of self?

A medically reviewed article from Psych Central shows that people raised by self-absorbed parents can strengthen their sense of self by tuning into themselves instead of looking to others for direction. That inner voice may be faint at first, but when given proper attention, it can become louder.

How to cultivate a strong sense of self according to Psych Central:

  • Take time to analyze what your thoughts say about the type of person you are. Do you think of yourself as someone smart, funny, kind, and competent?
  • Try to believe in who you are and the person you can become. Thinking of yourself as a “work in progress” can help lower the volume on your inner critic.
  • Exercise your mental muscle of self-awareness. Regular examination of how you think and feel about yourself can foster greater insight and appreciation of your sense of self.
From Your Site Articles
psychology
HealthMental Health
Love Stories

Young couple has second wedding for their '200 grandparents' they met at senior living home

"I need this. Bless this couple and their marriage and their big hearts."

Photo Credit: Canva

A couple who met while working at a senior facility got married.

Imagine a 15-year-old girl in high school getting a job serving food at a senior living facility. And just like that, she meets a co-worker, also in high school, who is helping out in the maintenance department. Would you ever believe they'd grow up and soon get married?

Well, that's what happened when Taylor met Jason. These Upstate New York residents were destined to meet at the Baywinde Senior Living Facility, where they not only developed a bond with one another, but became like family to the residents whom they lovingly describe as their "200 grandparents."

In a piece for People Magazine, Ashlyn Robinette writes that Taylor, in the eight years she has been employed at Baywinde, worked her way up from being a server to the dining services director for the entire facility. That makes this place doubly special to her, not just because she rose up in the ranks, but because, well obviously, she met the love of her life.

"The bride explained to the local news outlet that she affectionately calls the residents her '200 grandparents,' and couldn't imagine celebrating her wedding without them. 'I'm excited to celebrate this big chapter of my life with them,' Taylor said on her wedding day."

And so, although they had already had their first ceremony, they decided to have a second celebration at the facility so that their "grandparents" could join.

In the local report on News 8 WROC, she adorably jokes that she's not usually all done up for work, with meticulous hair and makeup. "Being a dining director, I don't look like this most of the time at work. So I think it's gonna throw them off a little bit, seeing me done up!"

The video shows beautiful images of the couple lovingly hugging and smiling tearfully with the senior residents.

Two employees at a senior home meet, fall in love and get married. www.youtube.com, News 8 WROC

The comments on Instagram are so very sweet. One person exclaims, "That’s lovely. That probably meant so much to those older folks. I bet they looked forward to that day for weeks!"

Of the couple themselves, people note that including the seniors is an excellent reflection of their character. "This tells us so much about them!"

The story seemed to bring much-needed joy to the readers. "I need this. Bless this couple and their marriage and their big hearts."

On a different Instagram page reporting the same event, a commenter writes, "How wonderful it must be to get to see someone so genuinely kind and caring in their job. No wonder they fell in love with each other."

They had a few more nods to the "grandparents." "How sweet! I'll bet all those grandparents are invested in their romance, as well."

And ultimately, after many hearts, prayers and few fire emojis, the consensus was that is adorable gesture from the bride and groom must have simply made the days of many of those senior citizens. A commenter perfectly shares, "If you've ever worked with seniors, you get it. This is so beautiful."

From Your Site Articles
wedding
Love StoriesJoy
Trending Stories