Protests are generally meant to raise awareness and make people pay attention.
And in that regard, the Wichita Black Lives Matter march on July 12, 2016, was an unequivocal success.
On that day, hundreds of Kansans turned out to make their anger heard in response to the continued police killings of black Americans. And while city and state police gathered to keep a watchful eye on the evening's events, they simply watched the protest happen without intervening ('cause, ya know, people have a First Amendment right to assemble and speak out, and it's the job of the police to uphold the law 'n' stuff).
A.J. Bohannen leads a group of Black Lives Matter protesters in Wichita, Kansas, on July 12, 2016. Image via U.S. Latest News/YouTube.
But the day after that protest, things really got cookin'…
According to ABC News in Kansas, Wichita police chief Gordon Ramsay (as opposed to chef Gordon Ramsay) invited local Black Lives Matter leaders to meet with him at the police headquarters the day after the protest — not to reprimand their actions, but to have a discussion about where to go next.
"We definitely want a citizen review board with subpoena power. We want an outside prosecutor to come in and look at these police involved shootings," said BLM organizer A.J. Bohannen, who was in attendance that day, about the changes he wanted to see (you can read his interview with KAKE here).
"Our officers are going call to call to call. They don't have time to build positive relationships," Ramsay said at a press conference the next day, when asked about how his department was functioning, and what he wanted to change. "It's reactive policing. It's not a healthy way to do it. And what I heard from protesters last night is they want to see community policing."
"The heart and soul of who I am: I am about community relationships, and we just need to figure these things out."
Police chief Gordon Ramsay. Image via City of Wichita/YouTube.
Ramsay listened to what protesters had to say and decided that the next big step in figuring things out would be for the police to … cook dinner for everyone.
BLM organizers had been planning another protest for July 17. But that was when they were still expecting their cries to be ignored once again.
After the successful conversation with Ramsay on July 12, the BLM organizers decided to cancel the upcoming protest. Then, Ramsay and his officers hosted a community cookout instead, in an effort to improve relationships, start conversations, and promote positive interactions between officers and citizens.
About 400 people RSVP'd to the appropriately-named First Steps Cook Out on Facebook — and more than 1,000 showed up at McAdams Park on that Sunday evening.
In addition to some tasty burgers and dogs, there were speeches by local community leaders, and a Q&A session with the police to open up the conversation about how to make communities safer and improve respect across the board.
And for those who couldn't attend? Speeches from community leaders of all races and creeds were broadcast over Facebook Live. (Unfortunately, Mark Zuckerberg still hasn't figured out how to make hot dogs available over streaming video.)
For some people in Wichita, it was the first time in decades they actually had a chance to sit with and engage police officers in a civil discussion. While there are plenty of factors that have contributed to this breakdown in police-community relations in the city itself, something as simple as a First Steps Cook Out is an important first step toward changing how the system works.
But mostly, it was also just fun, effective community building.
See, nothing solves problems quite like dancing.
Apparently, some officers even learned about the crucial law enforcement skill known as the whip and nae nae.
And the whole event was perhaps even more impactful given the tragic shootings that occurred in Baton Rouge earlier day.
The First Steps Cook Out was a remarkable testament to the power of activism, both in the community and on the part of the police.
It was still just a first step — but it was a big one in the right direction.
Protests might seem inconvenient — and that's because they're meant to expose grievances that people don't want to talk about. For the Black Lives Matter organizers in Wichita, their actions succeeded in a way that nothing else had up until this point.
Of course, none of this would have been possible if the Wichita police weren't also willing to reach out and connect and try to offer solutions, too. Like most things, it's a two-way street, where a willingness to compromise makes progress come easier.
"This isn't something we're going to change overnight or tonight," Ramsay told the local Channel 12 News. "It's just going to take continual effort on everybody's part. And work on policy changes, relationships. And that's what's going to get to the heart of the issues."
He continued this line of thought in an interview with ABC News: "The biggest point that I want to make is that it starts with me, right? And I have set the tone that we are gonna treat people fairly and with dignity and respect, and it starts with me."
Sometimes that first step is the hardest to take. But Wichita found a way — and hopefully other communities can follow suit.
Here's a video from the event, if you'd like to see it for yourself:
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.