The stories of parents and children being forcibly separated at the U.S.-Mexico border are unfathomable.
The Justice Department's "zero tolerance" policy for families attempting to cross the border has led to heartbreaking stories. Advocates and lawyers who have traveled to the border describe scenes one might expect to see in a Holocaust film:
— A mother was told by agents that they needed to take her son "to give him a shower," but then she was denied information about when and where she would see him again.
— A 5-year-old girl who'd never before been separated from her mother screamed and vomited when they took her away, and her mother was refused even a moment to comfort her.
— A mother seeking asylum after escaping a country that offered no legal protection from the beatings and attempted murder from her child's father was mocked by border agents before having her child taken from her arms.
Seriously unfathomable stories.
Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.
The border policy being used now criminalizes all attempts to cross the border — even for those seeking asylum. And it's simply cruel.
Border crossings have traditionally been treated as civil offenses, with families being detained together while the administrative logistics are figured out. Family separation is new and has been touted as a deterrent. But tearing a child from a parent's arms when neither knows where the other is going crosses a line into inhumane treatment.
In fact, a recent Washington Post article equates such separation with literal torture. The U.N. human rights council has called on the U.S. to "immediately halt" the practice, stating there is "nothing normal about detaining children" and that the policy "runs counter to human rights standards and principles."
In less than two weeks, more than 600 children had been separated from their parents. This is cruel, inhumane, and… https://t.co/WtsfNWNPnw— Tahirih Justice Center (@Tahirih Justice Center) 1527777184
Even some who would normally support conservative politics have voiced opposition to Trump's policy. "There's nothing conservative about illegal immigrant parents being ripped from their children," wrote conservative writer Liz Wolfe in the Washington Examiner.
This isn't a partisan issue; it's a human one. As Glennon Doyle said, "We know immigration is complicated. We understand that. But still — not this."
Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.
Here's what average Americans can do to advocate for these families.
There are two big ways people can help the kids and parents being harmed by this policy:
— Support organizations that provide legal aid and advocacy to migrant families.
The most important thing these families can get is legal representation and advocacy. That doesn't come free, but there are many nonprofit organizations that specialize in this work. Here are a few examples:
ASAP: Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project connects families seeking asylum to community support and emergency legal aid.
The Florence Project for immigrant and refugee rights provides free legal and social services to detained immigrants in Arizona and ensures that people facing removal have access to counsel, understand their rights under the law, and are treated fairly and humanely.
KIND: Kids in Need of Defense ensures that no child appears in immigration court alone without high-quality representation.
Tahirih Justice Center provides a broad range of direct legal services, policy advocacy, and training and education to protect immigrant women and girls fleeing violence.
Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.
— Call lawmakers and demand an end to this policy.
Many of us might not be used to getting on the horn with our reps. The good news is that the folks at Together Rising have done all the legwork to make it super simple to contact your senators and representatives in Congress — even if you have no idea who they are or how to contact them. Just go to this post and follow the directions. It'll take less than 20 minutes. Easy peasy and so, so important.
It's up to citizens to rise up when government falls to cruelty. When we hear stories of inhumane treatment being done in our country's name, we must act. People's lives — and our collective humanity — depend on it.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.