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A trans contestant on 'Survivor,' 1 huge mistake, and 7 ways others helped make it right.

Life is messy and complicated, but there are important lessons to be learned.

"There is deception here," Jeff Varner said. Ordinarily, on "Survivor," this would be normal. What he said next, however, wasn't.

"Why haven't you told anyone that you're transgender?" he said, looking at contestant Zeke Smith. Uh-oh.

All GIFs from SurvivorOnCBS/YouTube.


Outing someone as transgender — even if it's for the chance to win $1 million on a reality TV show — is 100% not OK.

Luckily, this story has a (somewhat) happy ending.

Not all trans people are "out" as trans, or might only be open about it to close friends and family. Not every trans person goes around announcing they are trans — especially to millions of people on TV — nor should they feel obligated to.

That said, the idea that trans people who don't disclose being trans to everyone around them are being "deceptive" is an all-too-common trope, and it can have some really nasty consequences.

It was a shame to see Varner champion that idea, but if you look to how the other contestants reacted, it was a perfect demonstration of how to be a good ally to trans people.

[rebelmouse-image 19529336 dam="1" original_size="750x559" caption="All photos from CBS/"Survivor."" expand=1]All photos from CBS/"Survivor."

1. The other contestants jumped in to let Varner know what he did wasn't OK.

When Varner asked why Zeke didn't tell the other contestants he was trans, Zeke was caught off-guard and sat in stunned silence. Thankfully, his fellow contestants spoke up, letting Varner know what he did was wrong.

2. They helped educate Varner about why outing someone is wrong.

Outing people can have very real, negative consequences. Trans people are subjected to discrimination and violence based on their gender identity, and in many states it's still legal to fire someone, deny them housing, or ban them from using restrooms because of who they are.

Understandably, many trans people carefully select who they will and won't come out to. It's a decision that should never be left up to someone else, and the other contestants let Varner know.

3. They gave Zeke the chance to speak for himself when he was ready.

"There are people who know [that I'm trans]," said Zeke. "But then I sort of got to a point where I stopped telling people because when people know that about you, that's sort of who you are. There are questions people ask. People want to know about your life. ... It sort of overwhelms everything else that they know about you."

4. They took the opportunity to grow as individuals.

"I'm just thankful that I got to know Zeke for who Zeke is. I've been with him for the last 18 days, and he's super kick-ass," said Sarah. "I'm from the Midwest, and I come from a very conservative background. It's not very diverse when it comes to a lot of gay and lesbian and transgender and things like that. I'm not exposed to it as much as most of these people are. The fact that I can love this guy so much and it doesn't change anything for me makes me realize that I've grown huge as a person."

5. They offered Zeke solidarity, making a unanimous decision to boot Varner off the show.

They didn't even have to vote. Even Varner knew, saying, "I'm ready to go." He took responsibility for his actions. He knew he made a mistake almost immediately and what the consequences would be.

6. Varner offered a heartfelt apology without condition or qualifications, and he's doing the necessary work to atone for his wrongdoing.

People make mistakes, and while we rarely have the opportunity to undo them, we can try to learn from them and make the world a better place. That's what Varner seems to be doing.

In an interview with Parade, Varner owned up to what he did:

"I just pray and hope for his safety. What I did that night was horrible. I opened him up to discrimination and to danger and to crime. Everything horrible. I robbed him of his ability to be. ... There are no excuses for what I did. Not at all."

But beyond that, he used the opportunity to speak out about what's going on in his home state of North Carolina.

"We have to stop as a society discriminating against trans people and minimizing and separating from them. ... We need to lift their voices and help them and not reduce them to body parts and surgeries and things that objectify and dehumanize them. These are wonderful people who are not only trying to live their authentic lives, but thrive. And I think stupid bathroom bills and things like that, especially in the state of North Carolina ... it’s not about bathrooms. It’s about whether trans people have the right to exist in public."

7. As for Zeke, he's trying to make the best of a bad situation. Life's messy, and forgiveness can be a complicated act.

Writing at the Hollywood Reporter, Zeke outlined exactly why what Varner did was wrong.

"In calling me deceptive, Varner invoked one of the most odious stereotypes of transgender people, a stereotype that is often used as an excuse for violence and even murder. ... I don’t believe Varner hates trans people, just as I don’t believe conservative politicians who attack trans people actually care where we use the bathroom. For both, trans people make easy targets for those looking to invoke prejudice in order to win votes."

On whether he forgives Varner:

"But forgiveness does not require friendship. Forgiveness does not require forgetting or excusing his actions. Forgiveness requires hope. Hope that he understands the injury he caused and does not inflict it upon others. Hope that whatever torments his soul will plague him no more. I have hope for Jeff Varner. I just choose to hope from afar, thank you very much."

Out of one horrible act came messy progress.

Photo courtesy of Girls at Work

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14 things that will remain fun no matter how old you get

Your inner child will thank you for doing at least one of these.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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When we’re kids, fun comes so easily. You have coloring books and team sports and daily recess … so many opportunities to laugh, play and explore. As we get older, these activities get replaced by routine and responsibility (and yes, at times, survival). Adulthood, yuck.

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More and more people of all ages are letting their inner kids out to play, and the feelings are delightfully infectious.

You might be wanting to instill a little more childlike wonder into your own life, and not sure where to start. Never fear, the internet is here. Reddit user SetsunaSaigami asked people, “What always remains fun no matter how old you get?” People’s (surprisingly profound) answers were great reminders that no matter how complex our lives become, simple joy will always be important.

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All images provided by Adewole Adamson

It begins with more inclusive conversations at a patient level

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Adewole Adamson, MD, of the University of Texas, Austin, aims to create more equity in health care by gathering data from more diverse populations by using artificial intelligence (AI), a type of machine learning. Dr. Adamson’s work is funded by the American Cancer Society (ACS), an organization committed to advancing health equity through research priorities, programs and services for groups who have been marginalized.

Melanoma became a particular focus for Dr. Adamson after meeting Avery Smith, who lost his wife—a Black woman—to the deadly disease.

melanoma,  melanoma for dark skin Avery Smith (left) and Adamson (sidenote)

This personal encounter, coupled with multiple conversations with Black dermatology patients, drove Dr. Adamson to a concerning discovery: as advanced as AI is at detecting possible skin cancers, it is heavily biased.

To understand this bias, it helps to first know how AI works in the early detection of skin cancer, which Dr. Adamson explains in his paper for the New England Journal of Medicine (paywall). The process uses computers that rely on sets of accumulated data to learn what healthy or unhealthy skin looks like and then create an algorithm to predict diagnoses based on those data sets.

This process, known as supervised learning, could lead to huge benefits in preventive care.

After all, early detection is key to better outcomes. The problem is that the data sets don’t include enough information about darker skin tones. As Adamson put it, “everything is viewed through a ‘white lens.’”

“If you don’t teach the algorithm with a diverse set of images, then that algorithm won’t work out in the public that is diverse,” writes Adamson in a study he co-wrote with Smith (according to a story in The Atlantic). “So there’s risk, then, for people with skin of color to fall through the cracks.”

Tragically, Smith’s wife was diagnosed with melanoma too late and paid the ultimate price for it. And she was not an anomaly—though the disease is more common for White patients, Black cancer patients are far more likely to be diagnosed at later stages, causing a notable disparity in survival rates between non-Hispanics whites (90%) and non-Hispanic blacks (66%).

As a computer scientist, Smith suspected this racial bias and reached out to Adamson, hoping a Black dermatologist would have more diverse data sets. Though Adamson didn’t have what Smith was initially looking for, this realization ignited a personal mission to investigate and reduce disparities.

Now, Adamson uses the knowledge gained through his years of research to help advance the fight for health equity. To him, that means not only gaining a wider array of data sets, but also having more conversations with patients to understand how socioeconomic status impacts the level and efficiency of care.

“At the end of the day, what matters most is how we help patients at the patient level,” Adamson told Upworthy. “And how can you do that without knowing exactly what barriers they face?”

american cancer society, skin cacner treatment"What matters most is how we help patients at the patient level."https://www.kellydavidsonstudio.com/

The American Cancer Society believes everyone deserves a fair and just opportunity to prevent, find, treat, and survive cancer—regardless of how much money they make, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, gender identity, their disability status, or where they live. Inclusive tools and resources on the Health Equity section of their website can be found here. For more information about skin cancer, visit cancer.org/skincancer.

via Pixabay

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According to a report in The Metro, on Thursday, September 15, Stead woke up in an Airbnb with her bridemaids, having no idea that her fiance, Kallum Norton, 24, had run off early that morning. The word got to Stead’s bridesmaids at around 7 a.m. the day of the wedding.

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via Lewis Speaks Sr. / Facebook

This article originally appeared on 02.25.21


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