+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy
Family

A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons

"It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity."

A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons
Tina Platamura


You always stole my thunder. You gave them everything they wanted. You never said no when they asked for anything.

Tina Platamura

A second helping of dessert. Candy before dinner. A few more minutes in the bath. Money for the ice cream truck.

I struggled to show you respect and appreciation while trying to make sure you didn't spoil my children. I thought you would turn them into “selfish brats" by giving them everything they wanted. I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed.

You held each one of my babies long after they fell asleep. Didn't you understand that I needed them to learn to fall asleep on their own?

You ran to them as soon as they made the tiniest sound. How would they ever learn to self-soothe?

I resented you for buying the best and most expensive gifts on their birthdays and on Christmas. How could I possibly compete with you?

"I thought they might never learn to wait, to take turns, to share, because you granted their wishes as soon as they opened their mouths and pointed."

And how they loved afternoons spent with you. You made their favorite things for dinner — three different meals for three different boys. And you always had a little surprise. A present, candy, or a special treat. I didn't want them to associate you with gifts and sweets. I thought they should love you for you. I tried to tell you this, but you wouldn't listen.

I spent a lot of time wondering why you did all these things and how I could get you to ease up. I know grandmothers are supposed to “spoil the kids" then send them home, but you were ... ridiculous.

Until you were gone.

I had to hold my boys and tell them that their grandma died. It didn't seem possible — you were supposed to be there for all the other special moments: proms, graduations, weddings. But they lost their grandma too soon and too suddenly. They were not ready to say goodbye.

During those years when I wished you'd stop spoiling them, I never thought about how much you loved them. So much that you showed it in every way possible. Your cooking. The gifts. The candy and sweets. Your presence. The way you could recount every detail of a special moment, whether it was a perfect catch in the outfield or a sweet and slightly off-key note sung at a school concert. Your grandmotherly love for them knew no bounds. Your heart poured love from every place possible — your kitchen, your pocketbook, your words, and your tireless arms.

It's pointless to dwell on regrets, but I often think about how I had it all wrong. I was so wrong in how I perceived your generosity.

My kids, now in their teens, miss you dearly. And they don't miss your gifts or your money. They miss you.

They miss running to greet you at the door and hugging you before you could step in. They miss looking up at the bleachers and seeing you, one of their biggest fans, smiling and enthralled to catch their eye. They miss talking to you and hearing your words of wisdom, encouragement and love.

If I could speak to you one more time, I would tell you that every time a precious moment steals my heart, every time I watch them arrive at a new milestone, and every time they amaze me with their perseverance, talents, or triumphs, I think of you. And I wish that they could have you back.

Come back and love them one last time, like no one else in the world but a grandmother could. Bring your sweets and surprises. Reward them with gifts for the smallest accomplishments. Painstakingly prepare their favorite meals. Take them anywhere they want to go. All and only because you love them.

Come back and see how much they've grown. Watch each boy becoming his own version of a young man. Be in awe with me as we admire how family, friendship, time, and love helped them grow so beautifully over the years.

The more I long for you to come back, though, the more I realize that in a way, you never left.

assets.rebelmouse.io

I understand now. I know you loved them in every way you could. I know that being their grandma gave you joy and purpose. And of course I know that you can't come back, but I do know that your love for them will always remain. Your love built them and sheltered them in ways that cannot be described. Your love is a big part of who they are and what they will become as they grow. For this, and for every treat and gift, and every time you held them too long or consoled them too much or let them stay up too late, I will always thank you.

And I will wish a million times that you could do it all again.


This article was written by Tina Plantamura and originally appeared on 04.14.16

From Your Site Articles
Badge
P&G
Proctor and Gamble
Joy

Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

From Your Site Articles
best of humanity
Friendship

Little boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man and they end becoming good friends

The boy got to keep his dollar and gain a friend.

Screenshot WBRZ2|YouTube

Boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man forming friendship


Kids can be amazingly empathetic people, many of them doing what they can to help others in need unprompted. Homelessness has been an increasing issue across America and some kids have taken small steps to try to help when they can. Kids are seen doing things like volunteering at a soup kitchen with their family, handing out personal hygiene kits and even making sandwiches in their own kitchen to give out.

One kid has been noticing a growing homeless population and wanting to lend a helping hand, but every time he encountered someone without a home, he had no money. But Kelvin Ellis didn't stop the desire of wanting to help so the next time he came across a man that appeared homeless, he was excited that this time he had a dollar in his pocket.

Kelvin, who is 9-years-old spotted a houseless person standing in the corner of a restaurant and knew it was his chance. The boy approached the man who was standing with his eyes closed and held out the only money he had–a dollar bill. But to Kelvin's surprise, the man refused the kind gesture and instead bought him breakfast because it turned out the man wasn't homeless at all.

Matthew Busbice, the man standing in the corner, was simply doing his morning devotional prayer after having to leave his apartment in a rush when the building's fire alarm went off. The man stepped across the street to the coffee shop after it was confirmed to be a false alarm at his building. That's where Kelvin spotted him and attempted to give charity to Busbice, a multimillionaire.

Busbice launched and owns several brands and outdoor companies with his family. The multimillionaire also starred in two popular reality television shows with his family, Country Bucks on A&E and Wildgame Nation on Outdoor Channel. His money and niche fame didn't stop him from chatting with Kelvin over breakfast while the little boy's dad was at the eye doctor.

"You gave the only money in your pocket to me and thinking I was a homeless man, and that speaks volumes of your character and what this generation that's coming up. If their more like Kelvin and they're going to give, they're going to be filled with joy, they're going to be happy. They're going to change the community then change the parish and change the state, and they can change the world," Busbice tells WBRZ 2.

Kelvin didn't expect to make a friend that day, but he did. You can see how Busbice repaid the little boy's kind gesture below.

From Your Site Articles
multimillionaire homeless mistake
Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' contestant dubbed 'best ever' after his instant $67,000 winning move

Pat Sajak was left speechless.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

Imagine winning that much money in milliseconds.

Over its decades-long syndication run, “Wheel of Fortune” has given audiences their fair share of epic wins (not to mention royally embarrassing misses). But regardless, seeing someone effortlessly wordsmith their way into winning big money never gets old.

And this big win came in a matter of milliseconds.

Alex Harrell, a father from Stafford, Virginia, who has served over nine years in the Marine Corps as an Osprey pilot, had already dominated the episode—racking up $27,105, a cruise and a trip to Aruba, per TV Insider.


This brought the young Marine to the Bonus round, where he selected the “Food and Drink” category and the letters “H, G, P and O.”

Up on the two-word puzzle screen, “T _ P _ O _ _ / P _ _ _ _ N G” appeared.

Before Pat Sajak is even able to say “if you need more time,” Harrell had his answer.

“Tapioca Pudding.”

Shaking his head in astonishment, Sajak opened the envelope to reveal Harrel won an additional $40,000, which gave him an overall total of $67,150, plus his trips.

“Way to go, Alex. Best contestant ever tonight!” wrote one viewer on YouTube.

Another added, “intense bonus round, he rocked it.”

Folks on X shared a similar sentiment.

One person wrote, “WOW!! Alex did Excellent!!! That’s the way we like it…and thank you for your service.”

Another seconded, “I'm assuming he's gonna go back to the Hyatt and roll around in the bed with all that dough.”

Now one has to wonder…does Harrell have a knack for words? Or is he just that big a fan of pudding? Either way, it paid off.

Watch his iconic win below:

From Your Site Articles
internet
Pop Culture

Steve Martin has the best response to hearing that his book was banned in Florida

He thinks it's for the best.

via Joella Marano/Wikimedia Commons

Steve Martin's 2000 novella, "Shopgirl."

Over the past few years, book bans have been happening in public libraries and schools across America. In the 2022-2023 school year alone, over 3,300 books were banned in 182 school districts in 37 states.

Most books that have been banned deal with LGBTQ and racial themes. According to a report from PEN America, Florida has been the most aggressive state regarding book bans, accounting for about 40% of those taken off the shelves.

On November 5, Collier County, Florida, announced that it was banning 300 books from its school libraries out of an effort to comply with state law HB 1069, which says books that depict or describe “sexual content” can be challenged for removal.

Among the books banned by the school district was “Shopgirl,” a novella by author Steve Martin published in 2000. Martin is also the star of the hit Hulu show, “Only Murders in the Building,” featuring Martin Short and Selena Gomez.

Upon hearing about his book being banned, Martin responded with his iconic wit on Instagram, saying, “So proud to have my book Shopgirl banned in Collier County, Florida! Now, people who want to read it will have to buy a copy!"

“Shopgirl” is a story about a young woman who works in a luxury department store and has an affair with a wealthy older man. It was made into a movie in 2005 starring Claire Danes and Martin. It’s believed the book was banned for its mild sexual content. On Amazon, the book is recommended for readers ages 13 and up.


This article originally appeared on 11.11.23

From Your Site Articles
book bans
Family

Little girl gets 20 seconds to say whatever she wants, and she gives herself an epic pep talk

"I'm a young queen! I'm a superstar!"

Representative Image from Canva

May we all be able to give ourselves this kind of self esteem boost

Honestly, there should be positive self-talk classes for adults taught entirely by kids. Kids seem to have no trouble telling themselves how worthy they are with 100% conviction, and it’s a skill that so many of us grown-ups end up having to relearn in life.

Luckily, social media provides free masterclasses.

A father named Jay noticed his young daughter Tatum was so confident in front of the camera that he dedicated an entire Instagram account to her called @dadsdoittoo, where she regularly gives unabashed pep talks to folks.

But it’s her latest spiel that’s really got people talking.

Jay allowed Tatum 20 seconds of alone time in the bathroom to say whatever she wanted, mimicking the popular current trend for parents to allow their kids to experiment with swear words in a private, safe space for a limited amount of time.

Only Tatum decided to give it her own wholesome spin.

Looking at herself in the camera, Tatum says “I got this,” before shouting at the top of her lungs, "I'm a queen, I'm a young queen! I'm a superstar!"

Ramping up, Tatum continues, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and I love myself!” And then, the kicker:

"I'm a Barbie, and I look pretty!” This even got a response from the official Barbie Instagram account, which commented, "And don't you forget it 😉💖."

And of course,Tatum ends her epic pep talk with her signature move—a peace sign.

Down in the comments, people could help but praise the young queen, and for her parents.

“She understood the assignment,” one person wrote.

“My fav part was that she didn’t speak, she PROJECTED,” another added.

A third said. “She is all that. Good for her that she has the confidence at such an early age and good for her parents that they recognize. This is so important for her future.”

Another suggested that Jay save the video, so that “when she had challenges later in life...let her listen to her voice!❤️❤️❤️”

And of course, it left adults inspired to do the same.

“Gonna recite this in the mirror next time I need a confidence boost,” one viewer shared.

Little ones really do have so much to teach us.

wholesome
Pop Culture

'Go Away Green' and 'Bye Bye Blue.' The secret paint Disney uses to hide objects in plain sight.

Disney is the master of camulflage.

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

The doorway to Disney's exclusive private restaurant, Club 33, is painted in "Go Away Green" so as to be inconspicuous.

The masterminds at Disney are known for creating eye-catching spectacles you can't turn away from, but did you know they're also adept at concealing things they don't want you to see? According to a number of online reports, Disney uses a few clever shades of paint to disguise things like trash cans, fences and administrative buildings that don't otherwise fit into the mise en scene. The hues are informally called "Go Away Green" (or "No See Um Green"), "Bye Bye Blue" (or "Blending Blue") and "No See Um Grey."

Disney won’t give away their formula, but crafty parkgoers claim to have matched the shades to some easy-to-procure paint store varieties, should you also want to use this visual trickery.

"The goal of this [Go Away Green] shade is to cause the object to fade into your color spectrum so that your eye will miss it completely," Gavin Doyle, Disney expert who writes the website Disney Dose (and hosts podcast of the same name) told Business Insider.

"The best example can be found on the outdoor lift hill of Big Thunder Mountain, where you can easily see backstage by turning your head to the right," says Doyle. "Most guests simply don’t see this backstage area as everything is covered in Disney’s special green-colored paint.”

If you are thinking, “Wait, what? I’ve never seen that!” you are not alone! Dang sneaky paint!

Another example, says Doyle, is the exterior door to the secret private restaurant, Club 33, cloaked in Go Away Green.

Not to mention trash bins, fences, light posts, and entrances to the “utilidors” (Disney’s vast network of underground tunnels, which are technically ground level and used for everything behind-the-scenes) and basically anything that might detract from the magic.

Haunted Mansion, Disneyland, color theory

Disneyland's Haunted Mansion stands out while fences, trash bins, umbrellas and more are disguised.

Theme Park Tourist/ WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

​In addition to Go Away Green, Disney uses a shade of blue to camouflage things above the tree line so the object they’re trying to conceal will blend into the skyline. They also use a drab grey color for concealing things in areas of the park where there is more concrete and less foliage (like Tomorrowland).

This kind of trompe l'oeil can be used outside the park boundaries. While Disney implements a level of design between obsessive detail and mind control, using color to make certain things come to the foreground and others recede isn’t pure witchcraft.

It’s what people do with eyeshadow and highlights, with stripes and dark, slimming colors. Why not conceal your unsightly fence or utility box? According to an article on Simplemost, the recommendation is to “look at the prevalent hues close by to find the best camouflaging color for your home.”

Main Street, Go Away Green, Disney

Main Street at Walt Disney World conceals benches, fences and lamp posts with a drab green color.

Jedi94/ WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

​“So if I were to paint the family in this camouflage, perhaps we could sneak into Disney World without paying, and they’d never see us,” quipped u/Simba7 on a Today I Learned Reddit thread about Disney’s use of color.

“Finally, the perfect color to dress when I’m forced to go to parties,” joked u/SuperStrawbear.

“This is the color of the front door of my house and people always leave fliers around the back lol,” shared u/iwishiwereagiraffe.

It's definitely something to keep in mind when incorporating these colors at home!


From Your Site Articles
disney
Trending Stories