+
Family

A 75-year-long study just revealed the key to happiness, and most of us are getting it so very wrong.

A 75-year-long study just revealed the key to happiness, and most of us are getting it so very wrong.

There are lots of things that can contribute to happiness and fulfillment, and they vary with each individual. A 75-year-long study, however, has found one common element that's believed to play a pivotal role in most people's genuine, longstanding happiness.

Good ol' fashioned friendship.

This study, which is considered the longest ongoing study on human happiness, started at Harvard University in 1938 with 724 men, 60 of whom are still alive today (women were added later because misogyny). After decades of observation, one of the study's leaders, Robert Waldinger, came to this conclusion:


"Good relationships keep us happier and healthier," he stated in a TED Talk on the subject.  

That's right, friends. You don't have to make millions of dollars a year or write the next bestselling vampire/werewolf/wizarding world novel to feel joy. It's as simple as forging strong bonds with a few people whose general presence you appreciate.

Or is it?

Perhaps it is in some countries where loneliness hasn't reached epidemic levels, but here in America, making and holding onto friends is much easier said than done.  

According to a new study, making new friends is incredibly difficult for Americans. In fact, the average American hasn't made a new friend in five years.

Sure, you may have made some casual connections, but we're talking someone you'd want to hang out with at least once every couple weeks here — at least, that's the best many of us overworked, underpaid millennials can do at the moment. It's not easy to let new people into our weird little worlds, which is why most adults only boast five true friends on average. Those longtime friends often stem from our childhood/formative years when, you know, work and life seemed far less overwhelming.

The study, which was performed by OnPoll on behalf of Evite, polled 2,000 Americans, and while 45% said they had no problem going out of their way to make new friends, when it came to actually taking action, things like work, family and a lack of hobbies often impeded them.

Our general addiction to technology doesn't help either. It's so easy to just shuttle between work and home all the while existing within our little tech/online bubbles. Those bubbles often trick us into thinking we have a seemingly endless list of "friends" from our past and present when in reality we haven't seen 98% of them in over five years. And online connections are no substitute for in real life connections, no matter how you slice it.

So yes, isolation and loneliness are bad for us, and it is hard to make new friends as an adult, but it's far from impossible. Kati Morton, therapist and relationship specialist has some great tips.

In fact, she has a whole series of YouTube videos on various mental health issues, especially having to do with human relationships and socializing, that are absolutely worth a watch. Based on her experience with patients, Morton says one of the most common impediments to making new friends stems from not knowing how to initiate a conversation.

To that she says you have to figure out what types of people you want in your life before you go looking for friends, and then make a hard commitment to do it regularly. Whether you join a friend meet up service, or specific activity group that appeals to you, just like with dating, it's best to go in there having a clear idea of the relationship/type of friend you're looking for.

I know, I know, still easier said than done, but like with anything else, when you continue to make the effort to step out of your blue light-filled comfort zone, look someone in the eye and say, "hey, how's it going?" the easier it will get. The worst that can happen is you make another casual acquaintance you'll never speak to again. The best is you'll have a new buddy who loves/hates brunch as much as you do.

Finally, someone explains why we all need subtitles

It seems everyone needs subtitles nowadays in order to "hear" the television. This is something that has become more common over the past decade and it's caused people to question if their hearing is going bad or if perhaps actors have gotten lazy with enunciation.

So if you've been wondering if it's just you who needs subtitles in order to watch the latest marathon-worthy show, worry no more. Vox video producer Edward Vega interviewed dialogue editor Austin Olivia Kendrick to get to the bottom of why we can't seem to make out what the actors are saying anymore. It turns out it's technology's fault, and to get to how we got here, Vega and Kendrick took us back in time.

They first explained that way back when movies were first moving from silent film to spoken dialogue, actors had to enunciate and project loudly while speaking directly into a large microphone. If they spoke and moved like actors do today, it would sound almost as if someone were giving a drive-by soliloquy while circling the block. You'd only hear every other sentence or two.

Keep ReadingShow less
www.youtube.com

Man hailed 'Highway Hero' for running across four lanes of traffic

Holy cow, Bat Man! You're always supposed to be aware of other vehicles when you're driving but what do you do when you notice someone has lost consciousness while speeding down the highway?

It's a scenario that no one wants to see play out, but for Adolfo Molina, the scenario became reality and he didn't hesitate to spring into action. Molina was driving down the highway when he spotted a woman in a blue car who lost consciousness as her car careened down the shoulder of the highway. The concerned driver quickly pulled over in order to attempt to rescue the woman.

But there was a problem, he had to cross four lanes of traffic on the highway just to make it to the woman's still moving car. That obstacle didn't stop him. Molina sprinted across the highway, crossing right in front of a black pick up truck before running at full speed to attempt to open the woman's door and stop her car.

Keep ReadingShow less
Nature

Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave that’s been closed for 70 years

You can only access the cave from the basement of the home and it’s open for business.

This Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave.

Have you ever seen something in a movie or online and thought, "That's totally fake," only to find out it's absolutely a real thing? That's sort of how this house in Pennsylvania comes across. It just seems too fantastical to be real, and yet somehow it actually exists.

The home sits between Greencastle and Mercersburg, Pennsylvania, and houses a pretty unique public secret. There's a cave in the basement. Not a man cave or a basement that makes you feel like you're in a cave, but an actual cave that you can't get to unless you go through the house.

Turns out the cave was discovered in the 1830s on the land of John Coffey, according to Uncovering PA, but the story of how it was found is unclear. People would climb down into the cave to explore occasionally until the land was leased about 100 years later and a small structure was built over the cave opening.

Keep ReadingShow less
Internet

Relationship expert tells people to never get married unless you're willing to do 3 things

"If you and your partner (both) are unable or unwilling to do these 3 things consistently forever, you won’t make it."

Relationship expert gives people advice on getting married.

Being in a relationship can be difficult at times. Learning someone else's quirks, boundaries, and deep views on the world can be eye-opening and hard. But usually, the happy chemicals released in our brain when we love someone can cause us to overlook things in order to keep the peace.

Jayson Gaddis, a relationship expert, took to Twitter to rip off people's rose-colored glasses and tell them to forego marriage. Honestly, with the divorce rate in this country being as high as it is, he probably could've stopped his tweet right there. Don't get married, the end. Many people would've probably related and not questioned the bold statement, but thankfully he followed up with three things you must be willing to do before going to the chapel.

Before going into his reasons for why he tells people not to get married, Gaddis explained that he is a person that "LOVEs being married." I mean, it would probably make him a pretty weird relationship expert if he hated relationships, so it's probably a good thing he enjoys being married. Surely his spouse appreciates his stance as well.

Keep ReadingShow less

Humanitarian Helen Keller circa 1920.

In a 1954 documentary short, humanitarian Helen Keller expressed that her greatest regret in life was being unable to speak clearly. But given that she could not see or hear, her speech was quite remarkable.

Keller was born in 1880 and, at the age of 18 months, contracted an unknown illness that left her deaf and blind. But with the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, she was able to overcome her disabilities and become an outspoken advocate for the voiceless and oppressed.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

10 years ago, a 'Stairway to Heaven' performance brought Led Zeppelin's surviving members to tears

Heart, John Bonham's son and a full choir came together for the epic tribute.

Led Zeppelin got to see their iconic hit performed for them.

When Billboard and Rolling Stone pull together their "Best Songs of All Time" lists, there are some tunes you know for sure will be included. Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" is most definitely one of them.

It has everything—the beauty of a ballad, the grunginess of a rock song, the simple solo voice, and the band in full force. "Stairway to Heaven" takes us on a musical journey, and even people who aren't necessarily giant Led Zeppelin or classic rock fans can't help but nod or sing along to it.

Of course, it's also been so ubiquitous (or overplayed, as some would claim) to become a meme among musicians. Signs saying "No Stairway to Heaven" in guitar stores point to how sick of the song many guitarists get, and when Oregon radio station KBOO told listeners they would never play the song again if someone pledged $10,000, Led Zepelin singer Robert Plant himself called in and gave the donation.

Keep ReadingShow less