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7 kinds of animals that you can eat with no factory farm involved

cattle, factory farming, meat, environment
Photo via Pixabay.

Cattle tagged on a factory farm.

So you want to eat meat, eh? There's a dilemma.

Ever since the release of Michael Pollan's seminal book, "The Omnivore's Dilemma," more people all over the world have been trying to decide if their lives could use more locally harvested food — including meat.

The existing meat production pipeline is flawed. Pollan and many others — like Eric Schlosser (of "Fast Food Nation" fame) and the documentary "Samsara" — have showed us just how bad it really is. Some folks go vegan or vegetarian, but others have tried to figure out ways to get locally raised animals.


“Were the walls of our meat industry to become transparent, literally or even figuratively, we would not long continue to raise, kill, and eat animals the way we do."
— Michael Pollan, "The Omnivore's Dilemma"

Can you eat meat ethically?

What is there to do if you would prefer meat to be a source of protein in your diet but want to have it in an ethical and eco-friendly way?

The answer might be in your backyard. Literally.

If you live in an area that has access to wild game, you may want to consider hunting. Seriously! Many people have turned to personally hunting their meat, and the vast majority of those who are passionate about it harvest game in ways that are safe, clean, and quick.

Ask yourself: Is that more or less ethical than, for example, a cow grown while standing on piles of manure, force-fed antibiotics, and unable to turn around or even move? Or a chicken with its beak cut off, unable to move in its cage or do anything except eat and … well, you know. How about what happens when animals reach the "killing floor" where they're executed en masse and "disassembled" before they make it to the local "Mall*Wart" in your city?

If you do it yourself, it can get you closer to your food supply and in touch with its life cycle.

Even though I've hunted since I was a kid, "Omnivore's Dilemma" got me even more interested in putting wild game into my freezer and onto our table. Knowing a lot more about your food sources is key to understanding why it matters so much to your health and happiness. And, prepared right, wild game is absolutely delicious.

Also, I still thank every animal I take for giving food and sustenance to my family.

Replacing things like factory-farmed cows and chickens with wild game is possible.

You can also look into organic/grass-fed animals on local farms, but that can get pricey. We've done it to the tune of $900 for a half cow, and you must have a deep freeze on hand to store it.

But small-game hunting can be cost-effective and good exercise, and it's not a big lift when it comes to cleaning and cooking.

Some people use a bow and arrow, a small-caliber rifle like a .22, or even a simple single-shot shotgun available for $100. For that matter, there are many people who like to hunt with birds of prey — trained falcons, hawks, and more.

Whatever method you use, once you've got your license, it's time to get out there!

What are some good options to hunt?

Let's go through some varieties of game that can usually be found in open areas around the United States.

1. Rabbits

alternative meats, rabbits, wild game, responsibility

Thumper ... I mean, the cottontail rabbit.

Photo by Gary Bendig on Unsplash

Cottontails, hares, and jackrabbits all provide a great meal when you harvest them humanely and ethically. Rabbit season starts in September or October in most parts of the country. The taste? A lot like chicken, but a little stronger flavor. You can really make it tasty with a good ol' hasenpfeffer recipe (or as Bugs Bunny would call it ... rabbit stew).

2. Squirrels

food, nature, industry, omnivore

The common fox squirrel stands up on its hind legs.

Photo by Patti Black on Unsplash

Bushy tail (fox) squirrels, chipmunks, woodchucks, and prairie dogs are all in the same scientific family. As opposed to hoofing it through the woods and grasslands for rabbits, squirrel hunting is more for people who like to sit for a while. The taste is also kinda like chicken, but a lot greasier. Think dark meat.

3. Upland birds

birds, migration, wild, available food source

A pheasant struts through brown grass.

Photo by Jack Seeds on Unsplash

Pheasant, quail, grouse, Hungarian partridge, and other species are actively eating and preparing for the winter months late in the year, starting around September. Definitely a way to burn some calories because hunting them requires hikes through woods, grasslands, and farm fields, where you can see them flush, often with a great flourish of color.

As you might have guessed, the taste is very much like chicken!

4. Waterfowl

sustainable, nature, hunting, eco-freindly

"Honkers," as they're sometimes called. If you've ever been close to a flock, you know why.

Image taken by Alan D. Wilson (modified), Wikimedia Commons.

Waterfowl include geese, ducks, and other birds that stay close to water. At 12 to 15 pounds per bird for an adult goose, they can easily feed a family. It's very much a dark meat; in fact, goose breasts look as dark as steaks before and after you cook them. The taste is very much like duck, rather than turkey. All are fabulous, on the grill or slow-cooked in the oven or pressure cooker.

5. Deer, elk, and other cervids

big game, hunting, elk, deer, healthy foods

A young-bull-elk stands on the mountain side.

Image via Pixabay.

This is definitely deep-end-of-the-pool hunting — not small game. And it takes a deeper relationship with the local population to really make it ethical.

A word on "trophy" animals (i.e., those with a lot of antlers) versus those intended for food and culinary delights: Though the picture I took here is of bucks, I take the female variety ("does") too. There's a reason why.

If the herd gets out of balance from too many does, then bucks can die from food scarcity in the winter months. Read: They starve.

I've been regaled with many a tale of winters being so harsh in parts of the country that deer eat tree bark and pine needles to survive. That's not good, and they suffer, so it's far better to harvest enough of them each year so that the herd is strong.

"Hiya, human!" Photo of bull elk in Rocky Mountain National Park by Brandon Weber/Upworthy.

In the mountain states, elk and other cervids (ruminant mammals that are members of the Cervidae family) are also frequently harvested. These will supply hundreds of pounds of venison at a time.

I'm a bow hunter myself, and it takes tons of patience, practice, skill, and the ability to sit quietly for hours on end. My 7-year-old wants to go deer hunting in a few years, but I've already warned him that he cannot talk for hours at a time — a feat I do not think it's humanly possible for him to accomplish.

The taste is like beef, with much less fat. Cooking venison is a skill unto itself, and you frequently will have to cut the cooking time in half versus beef, or it will be very dry. They're much like grass-fed beef in that regard. The varying types of cervids produce subtle taste differences. I am fond of whitetail deer and elk, but some folks love caribou and antelope, too.

Bonus: If you want to go full-on mountain person, you can learn how to make a coat or blanket from the hides, as well as other fancy things from other parts. Double bonus: If you have dogs, venison bones are great for them to chew on. (Just be sure to do it safely!)

6. Wild turkey

Thanksgiving, wild turkey, chicken, substituion, fiscal responsibility

Wild Turkeys walking around a green field.

Photo by Tyler Moulton on Unsplash

No, not THAT Wild Turkey...

This is another "sit and wait" creature to hunt, and they have extremely acute eyesight and hearing, so they're not easy. But taste one — even if you've had "free-range" turkey before — and you might just be hooked.

7. Wild boar/pig

boars, pigs, wild animals, factory farming

A black wild boar walking around.

Photo by Max Saeling on Unsplash

I've not yet had the experience of hunting these, but (SPOILER ALERT!) it is the critter that Pollan ends up harvesting at the end of "The Omnivore's Dilemma," along with local mushrooms and vegetables. In some parts of the country — especially the South — they are frequently harvested year-round. The taste is definitely pork, with older animals having a "musky" flavor.

"Oink? Not quite, Bub."

Bonus!

For the pescatarians out there, catching and cooking your own fish can be magical. You only need access to waterways, ponds, or lakes, and a simple cane pole with a hook and night crawler will do. The kids will love it, and cooking fresh catfish or trout over a campfire is a great experience.

fishing industry, rivers and oceans, camping

Pulling a fish out of a net basket.

Photo by jack murrey on Unsplash

There are, of course, tons of other critters in pockets of the country that can also be harvested as well, like alligators, goats, crabs, lobsters, bears, and more.

Hey, it beats store-bought, right? Check with local ethical hunters to see what might be available to you!

What if the whole idea of hunting game yourself is still not for you? That's fair.

Here's an idea: Why not trade with someone for locally sourced meat?

If you don't want to go through with hunting and taking your own animals, you could arrange a trade with someone you know. "Hey, Jane, I'll prepare the bread from locally raised grain and roast some locally-grown vegetables if you can harvest the venison steaks. Deal?"

Or even get together with friends and family who hunt and make it a feast!

Bon appétit!

Also, for a little taste of what "The Omnivore's Dilemma" is all about, check this video out:

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

This story originally appeared last year.

Heroes

Volunteer uses her incredible singing voice to comfort dying patient on 'final journey home'

The woman requested her and her husband's favorite song, "The Power of Love."

Canva Photos

What a beautiful way to show up for others.

There's something really magical about what music does to our brains. Have you ever found yourself remembering a commercial jingle you haven't heard in decades? Or have you ever wondered why you can't remember what you ate yesterday but you can recite the lyrics of thousands of songs on-demand without even thinking?

If you've ever seen the end of the 2017 Disney movie Coco, you also know that music can trigger memories, emotions, a boost of energy, and even joy in people who are otherwise nearly unresponsive or have lost much of their will to go on. And if you're thinking that was just an incredibly emotional moment in a sweet movie, it's true; science backs it up. That makes it an amazing and mysterious therapeutic tool in medical settings, and an incredible way to comfort people who may be scared or confused.


gif from the movie CocoMiguel and Mama Coco from Coco.Giphy

Yvon Kanters, a social worker, has been volunteering in nursing homes for years. She has gone viral for her incredible interactions with patients, where she uses her beautiful voice to connect with them and bring them joy in dark moments.

In one recent video, Kanters is shown riding in the back of an ambulance with a woman on a stretcher. The woman is a cancer patient who had just been told by doctors that there was no further treatment available. This would be her last ride home from the hospital. Kanters volunteered to come along and sing the woman a song for comfort.

"When we walked into the room, she was there with her husband and was very optimistic, she was very full of life," Kanters told Newsweek. "We brought her to the ambulance and then asked her, 'I'm a singer and I'm coming along for the day, is there something you want to hear?' She and her husband, they love each other—their love is so visible. She said she and her husband's song was 'The Power of Love.'"

"The Power of Love," of course, is the hit single by Jennifer Rush from 1984. The next year year, it became the number one song in the UK. A cover by Celine Dion years later made it the biggest song in the US. It's an incredibly romantic song, and it speaks volumes about the woman's life that she would choose to hear it at this moment.

"As I sang, I saw tears well up in her eyes. A song that held so much more meaning than just words and melody. After this moment, we continued with a small, intimate living room concert... one that will stay in my heart forever," Kanters said.

Watch the incredible moment here:

@yvonkanters

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 | 𝗠𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗽 𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝗭𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗮 Sommige ontmoetingen blijven je altijd bij. Gisteren zong ik voor een bijzondere vrouw, een vechter vol levenslust. Ze werd door Zuster Anita van de middencomplex ambulance naar huis gebracht om haar laatste tijd met haar geliefden door te brengen. Geen spoedrit, maar een rit vol betekenis. Ze hield van álle muziek, maar toen ik vroeg of ze een speciaal liedje had samen met haar man, hoefde ze niet na te denken: "The Power of Love." Terwijl ik zong, zag ik de tranen in haar ogen verschijnen. Een lied dat zoveel meer betekende dan alleen muziek. Na dit moment deden we nog een klein huiskamerconcert.. een herinnering die voor altijd zal blijven. Dankjewel Zuster Anita, en dankjewel aan deze prachtige vrouw voor het delen van dit bijzondere moment. Liefde is de kracht die blijft. 💛✨ #ThePowerOfLove #AmbulanceZorg #MiddencomplexAmbulance #MuziekVerbindt #LiefdeEnVerbinding #MuziekInDeZorg #Muziektherapie #YvonKanters ______________________________ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 | 𝗢𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗺𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗡𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗮 Some encounters stay with you forever. Yesterday, I sang for a remarkable woman, an fighter full of life. She was being transported home by Nurse Anita and the mid-complex ambulance, a service for patients who need medical supervision but no emergency care. No sirens, but a journey filled with meaning. She loved all kinds of music, but when I asked if she had a special song with her husband, she didn’t hesitate: "The Power of Love." As I sang, I saw tears well up in her eyes. A song that held so much more meaning than just words and melody. After this moment, we continued with a small, intimate living room concert.. one that will stay in my heart forever. Thank you, Nurse Anita, and thank you to this beautiful woman for sharing this moment with me. Love is the power that never fades. 💛✨ #ThePowerOfLove #AmbulanceCare #MidComplexAmbulance #MusicUnites #HealingThroughMusic #MusicTherapy #YvonKanters

Over four million people watched the video and couldn't get enough of the kindness and compassion on display.

Commenters were absolutely stunned:

"It’s the most beautiful thing I saw today"

"this needs a warning, I'm at work crying"

"oh my god what a wonderful way to go"

"The look of love, care and compassion in this young lady’s eyes for her fellow human - beautiful"

"former hospice nurse here.. I absolutely love this!"

Music is an amazing tool for patients who are near death or suffering from severe dementia. It lives in parts of the brain that are usually less affected by Alzheimer's and dementia, often making music memories the last "to go" as brain function and bodily systems fail.

Even younger people with great memory loss have been shown to remember how to play music or sing lyrics or even dance despite not knowing the names of their loved ones. This phenomenon, crucially, is not just a novelty. It's a proven tool that caregivers use to connect with their patients. Studies show that mood and engagement actually improves in patients after hearing and interacting with music, not just during.

Live music, too, carries a special power. Having a real human being singing to you stimulates the brain more powerfully than listening to recorded music does, forming a unique connection between performer and audience that a speaker can't replicate.

@yvonkanters

AVE MARIA | Rudy (English below) Ik ben net zo fan van Rudy als jullie! Daarom wil ik dit prachtige gebed ook laten horen. Rudy heeft in zijn leven veel steun gehad aan muziek. Het was zijn manier van communiceren naar de buitenwereld. Het is een manier van luisteren en antwoorden op elkaar. Dat vind ik ook heel duidelijk te zien aan hem. Hij luistert zo bijzonder goed naar het notenbeeld en wat er gaat komen. Daarop reageert hij weer. Het is een dans van woorden in het Latijn. Een prachtige verbinding en kippenvel. Dank Rudy ♥️ #zingen #dementie #liefde #zorg #fyp #viral #avemaria #gounod #muziektherapie #muziek ———————— AVE MARIA | Rudy I'm just as much of a fan of Rudy as you are! That's why I want to share this beautiful prayer. Rudy has had a lot of support from music in his life. It was his way of communicating to the outside world. It is a way of listening and responding to each other. I think that is very clear in him. He listens very well to the notes and what is to come. He then responds again. It is a dance of words in Latin. A beautiful connection and goosebumps for me. Bless his soul♥️ #singing #dementia #love #care #fyp #viral #avemaria #gounod #musictherapy #music

In another clip from Kanters, she sings "Ave Maria" to an elderly man with dementia who miraculously perks up and even manages to sing along. It's incredible to watch, and it demonstrates that we're really just beginning to scratch the surface when it comes to the power of music as a therapeutic tool.

But for now, it's just amazing and heartwarming to watch a beautiful moment between a volunteer artist and someone in need.

Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Pets

Terrified, emaciated dog comes to life as volunteer sits with him for human connection

"Just a few kind words and a little attention. That’s all animals need."

Terrified dog transforms after human sits with him.

There's something about dogs that makes people just want to cuddle them. They have some of the sweetest faces with big curious eyes that make them almost look cartoonish at times. But not all dogs get humans that want to snuggle up with them on cold nights; some dogs are neglected or abandoned. That's where animal shelters come in, and they work diligently to take care of any medical needs and find these animals loving homes.

Volunteers are essential to animal shelters running effectively to fill in the gaps employees may not have time for. Rocky Kanaka has been volunteering to sit with dogs to provide comfort. Recently he uploaded a video of an extremely emaciated Vizsla mix that was doing his best to make himself as small as possible in the corner of the kennel.

Kanaka immediately wanted to help him adjust so he would feel comfortable enough to eat and eventually get adopted. The dog appeared scared of his new location and had actually rubbed his nose raw from anxiety, but everything changed when Kanaka came along.

Vizsla, dog rescue, animal shelter, animal rescue brown short coated dog in tilt shift lens Photo by John Spence on Unsplash

The volunteer slowly entered the kennel with the terrified dog, crouching on his knees for an easy escape if needed. But the dog attempted to essentially become invisible by avoiding eye contact and staying curled in a tiny ball. It seemed like it was going to take a long time for this nervous pup to warm up.

Before long, he's offered a treat. Success! The brown dog takes the treat, and as minutes pass you can see his body slowly relax, eventually coming to sit directly next to Kanaka for pets. In the few minutes of the video, you see such an amazing transformation that proves this little guy just needed some love.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


"It was so cute when he started wagging his tail. You could tell his whole demeanor just changed, and he was happy. Just a few kind words and a little attention. That’s all animals need. Well, besides food. Lol," one commenter says.

"That moment when he starts to realize he's actually safe. That gradual tail wag, and the ears perking, the eyes lighting up. You don't have to be an expert to show an animal love and respect," another writes.

dog rescue, dogs, animal rescue, animal sheltera dog wrapped in a blanket on a rocky beach Photo by Jessica Bulling on Unsplash

"After that first treat his entire demeanor changed. He went from not trusting you to thinking you may be kind and he could feel less stressed. That was really amazing to see," someone gushes.

This sweet scared dog just needed human connection by someone taking the time to sit with him to know he was safe. Once he was sure the shelter was a safe place, the dog even welcomed those who came to visit him after seeing the video.

"I went to the shelter today to visit 'Bear'! Everyone would be thrilled to hear that he seems very happy and energetic! He has a little red squeaky bone toy that he loves. He licked my hand immediately and rubbed his head on my legs and arms, eager for affection. What a sweetheart," a commenter writes.

Thanks to Kanaka's sweet gesture, the dog, now named Shadow Moon, was adopted and is now living his best life with his new human dad and husky brother. You can follow Shadow Moon's journey on his Instagram page.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Family

Expert says if you have well-behaved kids, you're probably doing these 4 things

And if you're still aiming for well mannered kiddos, a board-certified behavioral analyst says it’s simpler than you think.

It's simpler than we think.

While many parents today try to free their children from the burden of being perfectly obedient 24/7—and the people pleasing tendencies that instills—they obviously still want their children to be generally well behaved, to truly understand right from wrong, and to develop good habits.

And let’s face it—with all the nebulous advice being given (often unsolicited) via social media and online parenting forums, teaching kids to be polite can feel really…complicated. A lot of this comes down to the truism that parenting is not a one-size-fits all process. But according to board-certified behavioral analyst Amanda, @bcba_amanda on TikTok, having a well behaved child might be boiled down into a pretty simple approach, one that’s really centered on how you, the parent, are treating your kiddos.

Jumping right into it, Amanda says that parents with well behaved kids are likely doing some combination of these 4 things:

#1 They are engaged and fully listening.

No phones or other distractions. Easy to say, hard to do. But very important.

Photo credit: Canva

#2 They are validating their child’s “big” emotions.

This aspect of gentle parenting can sometimes get misunderstood, so to clarify Amanda says it’s not about “agreeing with them all the time,” but rather using simple statements like, “I hear you, it seems like you're upset right now.” And arguably this step isn’t as effective without the others. Especially #4…

Photo credit: Canva

#3 They give their kid explanations when they have to say ‘no.’

Remember how infuriating it would be to get told “because I said so!” as a kid? There will still probably be big emotions at play, but even a simple explanation can help kids understand why they are being denied something, which is a much healthier approach than a blanket statement.

Photo credit: Canva

#4 They stick to their boundaries

This means not letting their children “run the show,” Amanda explains. “They say what they mean and they mean what they say. They stay firm.”

Photo credit: Canva

Setting healthy boundaries is not truly about control or establishing dominance, which makes it different from the strict parenting styles of yesteryear. When done consistently, from a place of calm leadership rather than as punishment, with firm yet loving language, and with consequences that are laid out and followed on when necessary, parents are (quite literally) helping shape their children still developing brains for success in the future.

As one viewer put it, “sticking to a boundary is VITAL.”

In essence, a lot of Amanda’s advice comes down to parents modeling what exactly good behavior looks like. After all, kids absorb so much from just observing the adults around them. And, as a few parents noted, none of this guarantees that a child will be tantrum-free forever more, no matter how many things a parent is doing right.

@bcba_amanda are you doing all 4 of these things as a parent so that you have a well behaved child? #parentcoach #parents #parenting #parentingadvice #parentingtips #parent #bcba #aba #toddler ♬ original sound - Amanda, M.Ed, BCBA, LBA

To this, Amanda says, “Yes no one is perfect and there will be times when they are kids!. It happens! Keep up the hard work and be so proud of the kiddos you’re working so hard to raise 🥰”