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5 reasons why Mark Zuckerberg's upcoming parental leave matters for the rest of us.

Other companies should take note.

For the moms and dads in the room, do you remember what it was like when you laid eyes on your baby for the first time?

Even something as routine as watching your baby receiving his or her first bath from the gentle hands of the hospital's nursing staff became the best spectator sport ever.


In the early moments of your child's life, you were probably overwhelmed by the desire to spend as much time as possible with the tiny human that you'd completely fallen in love with.

Then it hit you. Based on your employment situation, you may not be afforded the opportunity to properly bond with your child. And that sucks.

I could easily rant about the egregious lack of maternity and paternity leave in America, but we should also give credit where it's due. Some companies are doing an admirable job of giving parents time with their newborns, paving the way for what it means to value employees inside and outside the workplace.

One of the champions of maternity and paternity leave is Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Now he's also leading by example.

Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Priscilla Chan. Photo by Getty Images News.

Zuckerberg recently announced that he's taking two months of paternity leave once his baby girl is born. Here are five reasons why it's so important:

1. Being a dad comes first.

Even as the leader of one of the most powerful companies in the world, Zuckerberg knows that the most important job title he'll ever have is "Dad."

Studies have shown that dads who take bonding time with their newborn babies are more likely to dive into the often-messy trenches of childcare (and stay there) than the dads who don't.

It makes me smile knowing it won't be long before Zuckerberg becomes familiarized with the "dad face" as he approaches his daughter's first blowout diaper.

2. Respect for child-rearing starts at the top.

By "the top," I mean the top of the food chain in terms of industries and executive leadership. Facebook offers full-time employees working anywhere in the world up to four months of paid leave to bond with a baby — and that time can be taken at any point during the first year of the child's life.

Notice the terminology there. It's not called maternity leave or paternity leave. It's parentalleave because moms, dads, and people in same-sex relationships are entitled to the same amount of time for baby bonding. That's a big deal.

Photo by Chandan Khanna/AFP.

I know, I know ... Zuckerberg's a billionaire. Of course he can afford to take the time off, right?

Well, that's what makes his company special. He's not a "do as I say but not as I do" leader who enjoys the perks and everyone else fights for the scraps. Facebook is focused on encouraging its employees to enjoy the same leave benefits that he does.

Here's what Lori Goler, Facebook's vice president of people, had to say about the importance of Facebook's parental leave policy:

"Studies show that when working parents take time to be with their newborns, outcomes are better for the children and families. For too long, paid baby leave has been granted only to a mother who is giving birth. We believe that fathers and mothers alike deserve the same level of support when they are starting and growing a family, regardless of how they define family."

Facebook employees should feel honored to work for such amazing leaders who value the importance of family.

3. Facebook is setting the tone for other employers.

This will help pave the way for other companies to do the same thing or risk being left behind.

You know those millennials everyone keeps talking about? Well, they're interested in a lot more than this young lady:

GIF of "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift.

The best and brightest of the group have little desire to work for companies that don't view them holistically. Facebook, Netflix, Adobe, Johnson & Johnson, and others have demonstrated with their leave policies how much they value their employees.

And guess what? They attract and retain the top talent in their respective industries because of it.

As many of us lament America's parental leave policies, it's promising to know that companies are being forced (OK, more like "strongly nudged") to accommodate their employees for fear they may walk to another company that actually gets it.

4. Zuckerberg is challenging what it means to be a working dad.

For some men, having a baby ends up like just another agenda item on a busy schedule. They're at the hospital in the morning taking photos while holding their newborns like trophies from a weekend softball league, and moments later they're heading back to the office.

Sadly, there are thousands of new dads who have to get back to work quickly or risk their jobs. That's another story entirely, and we're not talking about them.

We're talking about the dads who do this because they actually think it's the manly thing to do.

And yes, those men exist. Remember the 2014 story of New York Mets player Daniel Murphy?

Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images Sports.

Radio hosts ripped him for taking three days off to bond with his new baby (they thought three days was too much time, not too little). If you're not familiar with the story, I hope you're sitting down before you click the link above, because it will make you angry.

We already know what today's dads look like. And in a roundabout way, a man as powerful as Zuckerberg gives working dads in America permission to embrace fatherhood.

It's OK and expected for dads to take the full parental leave allotted by a company.

It's OK and expected for fellow employees and supervisors to cheer a man's decision to take parental leave and not roll their eyes in disgust for "not being dedicated to the job."

Of course, change takes time, but when influential corporate leaders are the ones initiating change, others seem to follow suit.

Which leads to my next point...

5. Time is important. Let's cherish it.

The most valuable resource we have is time.

No, it's not health, wealth, or love — because the possibility exists of getting those things back once they're gone.

Time? Not so much. Once it's gone, it's gone. That's why it's so precious.

Regardless of the amount of money and influence Zuckerberg has, he's smart enough to know that the time he'll spend with his newborn daughter is invaluable — and I give him huge props for choosing to be a dad first.

Speaking from personal experience, many of my favorite fatherhood memories with my young daughters occurred while I was on paternity leave from my previous corporate job.

Like this one.

Photo courtesy of Doyin Richards.

We need to create a world where parents are able to embrace all aspects of parenthood without fearing scrutiny, passive-aggressive ridicule, or on-the-job consequences from their employers.

Hopefully, Zuckerberg's upcoming parental leave and Facebook's amazing policies and culture that allow him and his employees to take it will trickle down to other companies and our government.

Because every parent should enjoy the sleepless nights, diaper changes, and infant giggles without checking email at the same time. It's only fair.

Years after it happened, Patagonia's approach to the "family-friendly workplace" is a whole new level that still deserves our attention - and praise.

The outdoor clothing and gear company has made a name for itself by putting its money where its mouth is. From creating backpacks out of 100% recycled materials to donating their $10 million tax cut to fight climate change to refusing to sell to clients who harm the environment, Patagonia leads by example.

That dedication to principle is clear in its policies for parents who work for them, as evidenced by a 2019 viral post from Holly Morisette, a recruiter at Patagonia.


Morisette wrote on LinkedIn:

"While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said...'There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge.'

It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a 'call to action'. A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families.

That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass.

It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. "


Holly Morissette on LinkedIn: "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said..."There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge." It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a “call to action". A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families. That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass. It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. " www.linkedin.com


Just the first eight words of Morisette's post are extraordinary. "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting..."

As if that's totally normal. As if everyone understands that working moms can be much more engaged and efficient in their jobs if they can feed their baby while they go over sales figures. As if the long-held belief that life and work must be completely separate is a construct that deserves to be challenged.

And then the comment from her male colleague about the ROI (Return on Investment) of breastfeeding—witty, considering the time and place, and yet so supportive.

On-site childcare so that parents don't have to choose between leaving their jobs or leaving their babies. Letting life integrate with work so that working families don't have to constantly feel torn in two different directions. Flexibility in meetings and schedules. Allowing for the natural rhythms and needs of breastfeeders. Making childcare as easy and accessible as possible so that employees can be more effective in their jobs.

All of this seems so profoundly logical, it's a wonder that more companies have not figured this out sooner. Clearly, it works. I mean, who has ever heard of a 100% retention rate for mothers?

Patagonia's got it goin' on. Let's hope more companies take their lead.


This article originally appeared on 8.16.19

A viral post about changing your voicemail greeting when stranded is debunked by rescuers.

Multiple news stories of people being stranded in the wilderness have circulated recently, from the tragic story of a family that died of heat exhaustion and dehydration in the California mountains to the odd story of a lost hiker who refused to answer phone calls from rescuers for 24 hours because they didn't recognize the phone number. And along with those stories has come a wave of viral posts sharing some wise-sounding advice for if you're ever stuck somewhere without cell service and a low battery.

The problem is, the advice isn't wise after all.

The viral post suggests changing your outgoing voicemail message to include your location. One version reads:

"If ever lost while hiking, stranded with a broken-down vehicle or other emergency situation, if your cell phone battery is low here is a tip that can very well save your life. Change your outgoing voicemail on your phone to a message that gives your approximate location, the time, the date, your situation; lost, out of gas, car broken down, injured, etc... plus any special instructions such as; 'You are staying with the car', 'You are walking towards a town' If your cell phone dies, stops working or loses signal your voicemail will still be working. Anyone calling your phone will hear your emergency instructions. They will know you need help and know where to find you or where to send help."

Sounds smart, but a Colorado rescue team has explained why it's not:



The Alpine Rescue Team posted its response to the viral post on Facebook, writing:

"1. Without a signal (connection to the cell system) YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR VOICEMAIL. The voicemail system resides with your cell provider. To change your outgoing message, you have to CALL into your voicemail and then navigate the menus, record a new greeting, confirm the new greeting, etc. YOU CANNOT DO THIS WITH NO SIGNAL.

2. If your battery is low do not waste its power by calling your voice mail—or a friend or relative. Call 9-1-1 for help.

3. If you have no signal, text for help to 9-1-1. Many, if not most, 9-1-1 centers can receive a text.

4. Text takes much less power, is far more likely to get through, will automatically retry many times if you have spotty service, leaves record others can see and can give you an indication that it got thru. BTW, because of the automatic retries, you can compose and hit send on a text and then get your phone as high as possible to improve the chances of getting the message out.

5. Stay put. Okay, if you're lost or broken down and you've called for help (assuming you have signal and battery) please stay in one location—UNLESS YOU MUST MOVE FOR SAFETY REASONS. Changing your location makes our job more difficult. Trying to reach someone whose GPS location we have (within a circle, of course) is faster for us than trying to nail down a moving target. STAY PUT.

6. Maximize battery life. In order to make the battery last longer, turn off everything you do not need. Close all apps. Turn off WiFi and Bluetooth. Don't use your cell phone as a GPS/map device and especially do not use the compass if your phone has one -- the compass feature in some phones is a serious battery drain. Pull out your map and compass and/or use a dedicated GPS unit. You may be instructed, by text, to turn your phone off and text back at a specific time. Also, keep your phone just a little warm with some body heat or a handwarmer."

Many people probably think of their voicemail greeting as a recording saved on their phone, but it's not. A fact-check by USA Today, which consulted the top three carriers (Verizon, AT&T and T-Mobile), confirmed that cell service or a data connection is needed to change an outgoing voicemail message. You can do it over wi-fi, but that's not helpful if you're stranded on a mountain somewhere. You could change your voicemail greeting before you leave, letting people know where you're going to be adventuring if you feel comfortable with that, but once you're stuck without cell service, there's no changing it.

As always, look for what the actual experts say before passing along a viral social media post, even if the advice it contains sounds smart.


This article originally appeared on 10.30.21

Popular

'Entitled parent' discovers airline moved their toddler's seat just before flight takes off

Another passenger behaving badly story takes a huge twist.

I took a long Amtrak train trip from Atlanta to Baltimore with my 9-year-old daughter this summer.

As far as I could tell, there was no way to reserve specific seats in coach on our particular train ahead of time. But we arrived as early as we could and, to our delight, were treated to a near empty train. We sat together in a two-person row and had a really nice trip up to Baltimore.

On the way back? We boarded at Union Station and the train, having arrived from New York, was already packed. The conductor told me he would try his best to seat us together but couldn't guarantee it. You should have seen the terror in my daughter's eyes.

It would be a 14-hour overnight train ride. Sitting her next to some stranger that whole time? Absolutely not. No way.

They eventually found us seats across an aisle from each other, which kind of worked, but wasn't ideal. Luckily, the guy I was supposed to sit next on the other side flew into a rage that he wouldn't have a row to himself and stormed off to sit elsewhere, freeing up the row for us.

But for a few horrible minutes, I had become "that dad" desperately asking anyone in the area if they'd be willing to move so we could sit together.

I had become the dreaded entitled parent from all the viral travel stories.


Stories of "entitled parents" desperately trying to get other passengers to switch seats go viral all the time. But a recent thread on Reddit shows why we don't always get the full story.

Description from Reddit of airplane seating snafuReddit

User u/takeme2themtns recently shared a nightmare travel story in the r/Delta subreddit:

"In typical Delta fashion, they just switched up our seats and placed my toddler in a row away from us," they wrote. "Booked three seats ... in comfort plus months ago. Now, several hours before the flight we get notifications that our seats have changed. They put wife and me in exit row seats and the toddler in a window seat a row away."

With no way to fix the seating snafu digitally, the OP would have to rely on the Gate Attendant or even Flight Attendant to make a last-minute change — which would force someone else on the plane to move.

"I’m confident the GA (gate attendant) will take care of it," they wrote, "but it’s still so frustrating that we have to worry about it. I know we see posts like this all the time, but that’s because it happens all the time to people. Delta needs to fix this trashy system."

Another user in the comments wrote to share a similar story:

"I had this happen to me. The check-in person said to talk to the gate.

The gate said to talk to the flight attendant.

The flight attendant told me to ask people to trade seats.

I asked people. People said no. Other passengers started berating me for not planning ahead and saying my lack of planning isn’t their responsibility.

I defended myself by saying I reserved seats months ago and Delta moved me at the last minute. Then passengers started yelling at each other about my situation.

The FA had someone move and I got to sit with my daughter."

The user noted that the situation was chaotic and traumatizing.

These stories are far from rare.


woman carrying baby while sitting on gray seat Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

I found another story just like this from a few months ago on the r/United subreddit. The user's family booked seats together only for the system to separate them right before the flight, leaving an 8-year-old to fly seated alone. The flight crew's only solution was to ask other passengers to switch, causing the OP's family to get lots of dirty looks for the duration of the flight.

Having a young child or toddler seated away from you while traveling is just a complete No-Go, for many reasons. But as a dad, leaving a kid of nearly any age to sit alone — even if they're 8 or 10 or 14 — is not acceptable.

It's not just about convenience, it's a huge safety issue. There are plenty of horrifying news stories that support why a parent would do absolutely anything to avoid it.

When we hear these stories, they're almost always framed as the parents being unprepared, lazy, and entitled. But maybe we're missing the point.

boy sitting on plane seat while viewing window Photo by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

A story from January of this year praises a passenger who refused to switch seats with an "entitled dad" as a "hero."

People are fed up with parents asking them to switch out of airline or train seats that they paid good money for. And I don't blame them!

But we need to stop beating each other up and start holding the airlines and other travel companies accountability for putting parents and non-parents into this mess in the first place.

There needs to be a better system for families booking plane and train tickets. When you buy tickets, you have to enter in the ages of the children you're traveling with — so it stands to reason that these mix-ups flat out shouldn't happen!

Families shouldn't have to panic at the gate or on board about this! Other paying passengers shouldn't have to give up their seats!

The good news is that the Department of Transportation has recently gotten involved with a dashboard of which airlines guarantee family seating at no additional cost.

The DOT is looking to even make it illegal to for airlines to charge parents and children fees to sit together. Parents and children under 13 would be required to be seated side by side or immediately adjacent, and if not, they'd get a full refund or free rebooking — it's known as the Families Fly Together Act.

Traveling in 2024 is stressful enough, from seat changes to unruly passengers to high numbers of cancelled flights.

Seating kids and parents together seems like one small problem we should be able to solve.

Prior to baby formula, breastfeeding was the norm, but that doesn't mean it always worked.

As if the past handful of years weren't challenging enough, the U.S. is currently dealing with a baby formula crisis.

Due to a perfect storm of supply chain issues, product recalls, labor shortages and inflation, manufacturers are struggling to keep up with formula demand and retailers are rationing supplies. As a result, families that rely on formula are scrambling to ensure that their babies get the food they need.

Naturally, people are weighing in on the crisis, with some throwing out simplistic advice like, "Why don't you just do what people did before baby formula was invented and just breastfeed?"

That might seem logical, unless you understand how breastfeeding works and know a bit about infant mortality throughout human history.


Rutgers University historian Carla Cevasco, Ph.D. shared some of the history of infant feeding in a viral Twitter thread to set the record straight. (Note: Cevasco provided sources for her facts, which can be viewed at the end of her thread on Twitter.)

"You may be hearing the argument that before the rise of modern commercial infant formula, babies all ate breastmilk and everything was great," she wrote. "As a historian of infant feeding, let me tell you why that’s not true."

Cevasco explained that, throughout history, people have had to feed infants food other than breastmilk for a variety of reasons.

"Sometimes the birthing parent was unable to breastfeed," she wrote, "Because: death in childbirth, or physical/mental health concerns, or need to return to work outside the home right after childbirth, OR their partner or enslaver forced them not to breastfeed so that they could return to fertility ASAP after giving birth.

"Sometimes baby was unable to breastfeed. Because: poor latch, prematurity, cleft palate, other health or disability reasons, etc.

"Sometimes baby was being cared for by carers other than birthing parent, including adoptive parents."

Cevasco went on to explain what babies ate instead of a parent's breast milk in those situations.

"Sometimes someone else would breastfeed the child," she wrote. "This might have been a relative or neighbor doing it for free. Or it might have been a paid or unpaid servant or enslaved person doing it at the expense of their own nursing infant, who might starve to death as a result."

She also explained that some babies thrived on alternative diets, which are not recommended today due to concerns about safety and nutrition.

"Wabanaki women in the 18th century sometimes fed infants a mixture of boiled walnuts, cornmeal, and water; an English colonist, Elizabeth Hanson, reported that her baby thrived on this diet," she wrote. "In early modern Europe, babies often ate pap or panada, mixtures of animal milk or water, bread crumbs or flour. Sometimes these were boiled, sometimes they weren’t."

However, she explained, those milk substitutes weren't always safe or nutritionally complete.

"So before the advent of modern commercial formula (in the 1950s), a lot of babies died of illness or starvation because they couldn’t breastfeed and the alternative foods were not safe or adequate," she wrote. "Let me repeat that: in the absence of modern formula, A LOT OF BABIES DIED OF ILLNESS OR STARVATION DUE TO LACK OF SAFE OR ADEQUATE FOOD."

As Cevasco illustrates, the idea that the pre-formula days were a bastion of infant health due to widespread breastfeeding is simply incorrect. Cevasco explained that better supports such as paid parental leave, free lactation consultation and education, better access to places to pump and so on, would go a long way toward increasing breastfeeding rates. She also pointed out that the greed of the corporate formula industry created the formula shortage crisis.

"But! Let’s not demonize formula because of an imagined past in which everyone breastfed," she wrote. "In the ACTUAL past, babies fucking starved and died of disease. Babies who would have survived today, because they would have had access to safe, nutritionally complete formula. Access that is now, horrifyingly and unjustly, under threat for many babies and their caregivers."

Cevasco pointed out that there are multiple safe and nutritionally complete ways to feed a baby, and making sure babies don't go hungry should be our main goal.

So many misinformed comments could be avoided with a basic understanding of what infant feeding looked like in the past, as well as a basic understanding of how breastfeeding works both physically and logistically. Let's spend more time informing ourselves and sharing facts from experts rather than continuing to perpetuate unhelpful and harmful myths about both breastfeeding and formula feeding.


This article originally appeared on 5.17.22

Photo by Wai Siew on Unsplash

Think like a predator.

Look, I get it. You’re there minding your own business, relaxing in the cool ocean waters, when out of nowhere—like, without even the common courtesy of the “Jaws” theme song to offer a fair warning—you find yourself right next to a shark.

Your immediate response? SWIM AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

Though this survival instinct is completely understandable, sit back and allow two experts to explain why that’s a bad idea.

Kayleigh Grant and Andriana Fragola are both trained scuba divers who have had their fair amount of dealings with all sorts of aquatic creatures, including sharks.

A recent video clip of theirs has been swimming around the internet because it perfectly demonstrates how to safely avoid a shark attack—using a real-life shark.


A group of sharks swimming in the oceanPhoto by Alexey Komissarov on Unsplash

On camera we see Fragola being approached by a tiger shark while in Oahu, Hawaii.

Meanwhile Grant’s voice can be heard saying, “Andy is demonstrating why we do not want to splash and swim away from sharks.”

She continued, “Splashing and swimming away imitates what prey does. When we’re dealing with top predators like sharks we want to also act like a predator.”

So, instead of trying to swim away, we see Fragola calmly turn around and face the creature while maintaining eye contact.

She even manages the bravest snoot boop of all time—reaching out and pushing the tiger shark’s nose to redirect it. Apparently this is strictly a “tiger shark” thing, so please don’t go trying this technique with a great white.

And in case it’s not obvious: While it’s great that these two pros can offer tips for interacting safely with apex predators, it’s still maybe not the best idea to go seeking out these types of encounters. In fact, both divers repeatedly use the “do not attempt” disclaimer on many of their videos.

a shark swimming in an aquarium with its mouth openPhoto by Efe Yağız Soysal on Unsplash

This hack does come at an opportune time, considering the supposed recent uptick in recorded shark interactions along the United States East Coast, for reasons that are still under debate.

However, Grant did advise in her caption that "just like bears and other predators,” sharks "typically want nothing to do with humans" and are "not the man-eating monsters the media portrays.”

Both Grant and Fragola are passionate about shark conservation. Fragola makes handcrafted jewelry using removed fishing lines, and Grant offers underwater safari tours exploring reefs and sea caves.

Plus, both their TikTok channels are full of breathtaking footage that’ll make you love and respect these toothy beasts.

Check these out:

@mermaid.kayleigh *I am a trained professional DO NOT ATTEMPT* One of my favorite ways for a #tigershark to approach is vertically. Every situation & approach from a #shark is different so you need to keep looking all around & anticipating a shark from any direction. âšĄïž đŸŽ„ @andriana_marine #savesharks #sharkdiver #sharkdiving #sharkdive #nikkithetigershark #hawaii #ocean ♬ solitude - favsoundds

Plus there's some bite-sized education:

@mermaid.kayleigh Such a cruel & evil practice to torture & kill an animal without the intent to eat it! This must stop #hawaii 😭 #oceanicwhitetip #sharks #savesharks #sharkdiving #sharkdive #sharkdiver #diving #freediving #freedive #ocean ♬ Love You So - The King Khan & BBQ Show
@andriana_marine Replying to @Ekp #shark #tigershark #sharkdiver #cuteshark ♬ Moon - Fernan Birdy

And of course—it’s not all shark-oriented. Grant and Fragola’s channels are veritable treasure troves of aquatic gems.

@mermaid.kayleigh Always so crazy to think about how much below me is #darkness 😳 the light rays are so beautiful at the surface though 😍 #ocean #deepwater #hawaii #bluewater ♬ Stranger Things - Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein

Bless these gals for not only passing on valuable safety tips, but for sharing the ocean’s wonders with the rest of the world.


This article originally appeared on 8.29.22